I’m Tired Of People Acting Like Zhongli Is A Serious And Chill Guy Who Would Never Cause Problems On

I’m tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isn’t one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted “Cocogoat” milk he was like “Oh yeah sure totally let’s go look for it” knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like “Oh would you look at that” when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. He’s like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact he’d get on that man’s nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.

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pigeonl0rd

9 months ago

REMUS LUPIN COMMENTATING ON GYRIFFINDOR VS SLYTHERIN GAMES (some time in 6th year)

Remus: Welcome to the quiddich games i'm Remus Lupin and I'm forced to be here I hope you fuckers enjoy my pain

McGonagall: Remus Lupin!

Remus: *ahem* sorry miss but we're off the two terms are flying up to... hit things? Honestly im best friends with the Gyriffindor captain and fucking the beater no clue what's- OUCH MISS IM SORRY but that was uncalled for simply stating fac- OUCH-

ANYWAY our captain Potter is about to score- and missed, call me delusional but I'm pretty sure he was staring at baby Black, really Potter? Let's all thank your captain as Slytherin now have the ball thing- quaffle? Aaaannnd they score well done James WELL DONE.

McGonagall: let's move on from James please, 10 points to Slytherin.

Remus: Of course and the game begins again OH Marlene is going for the other more aggressive ball thing-

McGonagall: bludger

Remus: yes that, and she hits it! Go her that was good it went straight for the Slytherin team and OH MY GOD MCKINNON YOU DIDNT JUST WINK AT MEADOWES but that was smooth, I'm sure she was impressed... I'm being glared at LETS MOVE ON OH WOW James? Did you just SCORE I'm suprised you didn't get distracted aga-

McGonagall: REMUS LUPIN!

Remus: Aanndd 10 points go to Gyriffindor Barty is definitely not happy with that i don't know what you do but go hit those angry balls! Make a show for your boyfriend!

Now the games start again Gyriffindor is ahead wow if only Regulus Black stopped staring at someone's THIGHS WE'D BE DONE

YOURE. NOT. SUBTLE. BABY. BLACK.

Remus: ...ladies and gentlemen Miss McGonagall just laughed she can also see the pin-

McGonagall: Remus Lupin please leave

Remus: Of course miss can I just...?

McGonagall: ...just make it quick

Remus: Sirius you look so hot right now I'm gonna f-

McGonagall: SAY ANOTHER WORD AND YOURE NEVER LEAVING DETENTION

Remus: f-all in love with you even more...

McGonagall: ...

Remus: ...shit did Sirius just fall off his broom?

McGonagall: thank Merlin, Regulus caught the snitch GAME IS OVER SLYTHERIN WIN, REMUS DETENTION LEAVE NOW!