Admit It. If You Were Separated Into Good And Evil Versions Of Yourself Your Evil Version Would Totally

need to be squished between a couple on the couch as they slowly get more handsy and flirty with me until im a blushing flustered mess completely at their mercy

i'm trying to be the cool, hot, slightly intimidating butch older sister, but also very obviously the dog at a house party that sits between everyone's legs and everyone else pets absentmindedly while they talk to each other

people think writers make good English teachers but the opposite is true. sixth grader asks why she can’t start a sentence with “and” and im like idk girlie grammar is a construct and language is a fluid gelatinous animal. people used to write “thou” and they were being totally unironic about it. start your sentences with an exclamation point for all i care. a+

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

average tgirl experience of saying "we need to kiss" every few days and then continuing to be stuck hours and miles away. but still we must express that we need to kiss, it's important that this gets said

Saw this in my local park this morning

Aspirational.

꩜

system[?] here. i guess? idk, this is just a confession and maybe asking for advice if there is any for something like this. i struggle a lot with singletmoding when depression and dysphoria gets bad, and it has been bad a lot lately. like months. and its hard because im basically just fragments anyways, nothing super distinct. and i dont have a headspace, or voices. so i dont know what to do to make myself feel more plural. sometimes a really distinct headmate comes to front and it feels like something but most of the time it feels like nothing and i miss plurality. but its not easy. idk if theres any advice because so much of it focuses on having a headspace or looking inward or creating a headspace etc etc but when we had tried that before it made the host at the time go dormant due to stress and we still didnt get like a headspace out of it. idk. you dont have to post this, im sorry.

shhhhh anon - so, for the record our system:

doesn't have a headspace or any sense of spatialness related to fronts/switching

doesn't have internal dialogue. we can't write notes either, our brain rejects it

doesn't have a memory split / gaps between headmates - switches are just a slight shift we help happen

tends to hold fronts for days at a time, but finds that fronts often "fade out" into mush after a while, the vividness goes away and it gets kinda generic feeling

and my main sentiment is. don't force it. these quieter types of systemhood are about connecting with yourself/ves, they're about curiosity. they're about exploration and finding new ways to express yourself/ves. and they're all about really small things instead of really big things.

We usually wouldn't offer such specific advice to a specific ask, because we hate prescribing the way systems should be - but this is our personal thought process for when we've masked ourself into a hole and forgotten what we're even capable of experiencing.

So, think of a chime, or a pond - if it's thrashed, it's an unclear mess well after you stop, but if you touch it while it's still, that input resonates, and what you put in slowly comes back to your ears and eyes. Systems often have this "reflective" quality, I think - which means reconnecting with your system often means looking for things you put in to it.

You miss the feeling of your system. That's a good start - let yourself have that. It kinda sucks but, mull over and genuinely explore that feeling. Then keep your ears open from then and into the week, and you just might feel that feeling that your system misses itself/you back. Have a fondness? Same thing. Something you're wearing would look better if certain fragments were more present? *Think* that - picture it. Look after yourself through looking after your system - see if it looks after you back. Feel for that little "delay" between when you feel a feeling, and it comes back to being felt about you.

And hey, even if that doesn't mean "switching and fronts" like you want it to, maybe it'll feel good anyway.

''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''

Trans girls, in my experience, have largely lived an existence in which for the vast majority of our lives, we've never been anybody's first choice romantically. That's if we're chosen at all.

Second choice? Yeah. Back up plan? Happens. Fetishized? Always.

But never just chosen. Never just pursued. Never loved quite as much as we need. Never the object of obsession. Never the focus of passion.

Every love feels like it's one better option disappearing like a vapor in the wind.

So I say all that to say, if you're romantically inclined, and you love a trans girl. Choose her. Really choose her. Choose her in every moment. Make her feel like she's the only one that matters and do it every day, because it's possible, likely even, that she's never felt that before.

Really choose her, or you will break her heart.

If you're not willing to do that, leave her the fuck alone.