I Need To Vent.

I need to vent.

My brother has feelings for my partner. And my partner has feelings for my brother. I feel sick at my stomach. I don't feel angry towards either of them, but I just feel so upset. It's not even like up for debate whether or not they like each other. They do. I know they do. It's so fucking obvious. I don't even know what to do. I feel like I can't even move forward with my partner knowing they like my brother but I don't wanna hurt them. Hell, they dated for like four hours. My partner asked me to date someone they had gotten a queer platonic crush on, and I said of course, I wanted them to be happy. Later I figured out that it was my brother who they failed to mention was the person they liked. So I talked to my brother about it and they broke up. And when I talked to my partner about it they just kept apologizing and I felt like a terrible person so I just said it was okay and gave in. It's not okay, I'm still upset, I still feel disgusting. I know they still have feelings for each other because they don't just fucking go away. I don't even know what to do because I feel like if I do anything I'm making a scene. I don't wanna do this anymore. I wish this hadn't happened, but it did. It's not my fault. It's not theirs. But somehow I still feel like I want to blame someone.

(Added context. My partner is aroace, I'm A-spec. We're in a qpr, and our qpr could look to the unknowing eye like an 'average' relationship. Also my brother is not brother by blood, but he's my brother in every other aspect.)

More Posts from Ph1a-r and Others

ph1a-r

3 months ago

reblog to blow up an ableist

17K notes View Post

ph1a-r

1 year ago

If you don't think cis asexual people, cis aromantic people or cis aroace people are valid you can unfollow me right now.

7K notes View Post

ph1a-r

1 year ago

Actually fuck this site for banning predestrogen.

Being trans is HARD, and the fact that even “the queerest place on the internet” is after us is a genuine fucking tragedy.

We come to places like tumblr to ESCAPE the rampant transphobia and shitty legislation right outside our doors, but OHP! Turns out we aren’t safe in here either!

Whether staff just blows this over and acts normal again or just straight up purges all of us, sincerely, fuck you Matt Mullenweg. I cast car hammer explosion.

Here’s a transition comparison for all of you. We stay silly.

Actually Fuck This Site For Banning Predestrogen.

9K notes View Post

ph1a-r

1 year ago

The shoes! @envythemoons

I love having flags and labels that are so rarely known that oblivious homophobic people wouldn't even be able to tell that its what that is. I have a plastic egg painted with the aroace flag taht my grandmother (homophobic) has seen and not noticed, same for my qpr painted fake plant pot and power bank. I just got shoes this morning and painted them with the uranic oriented aroace flag and the pangender flag and she had no clue. Lesser known lablels can be an absolute pain sometimes, but they can also be absolutely wonderful. If you want to see the shoes lemme know

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ph1a-r

1 year ago

Never knew the Merlin community was so strong before downloading this app. I'm so here for it.

bbc merlin + text posts

2K notes View Post

ph1a-r

1 week ago

reblog if people r allowed to send u asks as if theyre ur friend. wanna tell me how ur day went? do it!!! ask me for advice? sure! ask a personal question? go right on ahead!

3K notes View Post

ph1a-r

9 months ago

!! RANT POST !!

LOVVVVEEEEE when my ex, who tried to DATE MY LITTLE BROTHER WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER tries to act like I'mmmmmmmmm the problem, go online say they're gonna take their life cause of me, and then act like I'm the problem when I RESPOND. Like womp womp don't care fuck off stay mad bitch shouldn't have been a fucking weirdo I'm immature for saying womp womp but YOU'RE immature for saying you'd take your life over me.