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BI-ERASURE POEM

May 31, 2022 | 2022 Summer - Pop Culture, Poetry

I made one too

I think it's cool if a cis woman goes on testosterone, or gets top surgery for aesthetic/affirmation reasons, or even gets phalloplasty.

I also think it's cool if a cis man goes on estrogen, or gets breast augmentation for aesthetic/affirmation reasons, or even gets a vaginoplasty.

It is my belief that bodily autonomy doesn't depend on identity. You have the fundamental right to alter your body as the want or need arises, because when you don't own your body absolutely, you own nothing.

do u guys remember those posts that would be like EVERY single mother fucker who reblogs this post will get an ask from me saying what animal their blog reminds me of. GO! and they’d get like 80,000 notes. do u guys think that those people r still answering those. like are they contractually bound by the tumblr engine to keep sending asks until they’ve actually sent one to every single person that reblogs. this is irl tumblr gothic

On the issue of the ‘q slur’...

So, yesterday, I got into a rather stupid internet argument with someone who was peddling what seemed to me to be a rather insidious narrative about slur-reclamation. Someone in the ensuing notes raised a point which I thought was interesting, and worrying, and probably needed to be addressed in it’s own post. So here we go:

The word ‘queer’ itself seems to be especially touchy for many, so let me begin to address this by way of analogy.

Instead of talking about “queer”, let’s start by talking about “Jew” - a word which I believe is very similar in its usage in some significant ways.

Now, the word “Jew” has been used as a derogatory term for literally hundreds of years. It is used both as a noun (eg. “That guy ripped me off - what a dirty Jew”) and as a verb (eg. “That guy really Jew-ed me”). These usages are deeply, fundamentally, horrifically offensive, and should be used under no circumstances, ever. And yet, I myself have heard both, even as recently as this past year, even in an urban location with plenty of Jews, in a social situation where people should have known better. In short – the word “Jew”, as it is used by certain antisemites, is – quite unambiguously – a slur. Not a dead slur, not a former slur – and active, living slur that most Jews will at some point in their life encounter in a context where the term is being used to denigrate them and their religion. 

Now here’s the thing, though: I’m a Jew. I call myself a Jew. I prefer that all non-Jews call me a Jew – so do most Jews I know. “Jew” is the correct term for someone who is part of the religion of Judaism, the same way that “Muslim” is the correct term for someone who is part of the religion of Islam, and “Christian” is the correct term for someone who is part of the religion of Christianity. 

In fact, almost all of the terms that non-Jews use to avoid saying “Jew” (eg. “a member of the Jewish persuasion”, “a follower of the Jewish faith”, “coming from a Jewish family”, “identifying as part of the Jewish religion”, etc) are deeply offensive, because these terms imply to us that the speaker sees the term “Jew” (and by extension, what that term stands for) as a dirty word.

“BUT WAIT” – I hear you say – “didn’t you just say that Jew is used as a slur?!?”

Yes. Yes, I did. And also, it is fundamentally offensive not to call us that, because it is our name and our identity.

Let me back up a little bit, and bring you into the world of one of those 2000s PSAs about not using “that’s so gay”. Think of some word that is your identity – something which you consider to be a fundamental and intrinsic part of yourself. It could be “female” or “male”, or “Black” or “white”, “tall” or “short”, “Atheist” or “Mormon” or “Evangelical” – you name it.

Now imagine that people started using that term as a slur.

“What a female thing to do!” they might say. “That teacher doesn’t know anything, he’s so female!”

Or maybe, “Yikes, look at that idiot who’s driving like an atheist. It’s so embarrassing!”

Or perhaps, “Oh gross, that music is so Black, turn it off!”

Now, what would you say if the same groups of people who had been saying those things for years turned around and avoided using those words to describe anything other than an insult?

“Oh, so I see you’re a member of the female persuasion!”

“Is he… a follower of the atheist beliefs? Like does he identify as part of the community of atheist-aligned individuals?”

“So, as a Black-ish identified person yourself – excuse me, as a person who comes from a Black-ish family…”

Here’s the fundamental problem with treating all words that are used as slurs the same, without any regard for how they are used and how they developed – not all slurs are the same.

No one, and I mean no one (except maybe for a small handful of angsty teens who are deliberately making a point of being edgy) self-identifies as a kike. In contrast, essentially all Jews self-identify as Jews. And when non-Jews get weird about that identity on the grounds that “Jew is used as a slur”, despite the fact that it is the name that the Jewish community as a whole resoundingly identifies with, what they are basically saying is that they think that the slur usage is more important than the Jewish community self-identification usage. They are saying, in essence, “we think that your name should be a slur.” 

Now, at the top I said that the word “Jew” and the word “queer” had some significant similarities in terms of their usage, and I think that’s pretty apparent if you look at what people in those communities are saying about those terms. When American Jews were being actively threatened by neo-Nazis in the 70s, the slogan of choice was “For every Jew a .22!″. When the American Queer community was marching in the 90s in protest of systemic anti-queer violence, the slogan of choice was “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” Clearly, these are terms that are used by the communities themselves, in reference to themselves. Clearly, these terms are more than simply slurs.

But while there are useful similarities between how the terms “Jew” and “Queer” are used by bigots and by their own communities, I’d also like to point out that there is pretty substantial and important difference:

Unlike for “queer”, there is no organized group of Jewish antisemites who are using the catchphrase “Jew is a slur!” in order to selectively silence and disenfranchise Jews who are part of minority groups within Judaism. 

This is the real rub with the term queer – no one was campaigning about it being a slur until less than a decade ago. No one was saying that you needed to warn for the word queer when queer people were establishing the academic discipline of queer studies. No one was ‘think of the children”-ing the umbrella term when queer activists were literally marching for their lives. Go back to even 2010 and the term “q slur” would have been basically unparseable – if I saw someone tag something “q slur”, like most queer people I would have wracked my brains trying to figure out what slur even started with q, and if I learned that it was supposed to be “queer”, my default assumption would be that the post was made by a well-meaning but extremely clueless straight person.

I literally remember this shift – and I remember who started it. Exclusionists didn’t like the fact that queer was an umbrella term. Terfs (or radfems as they like to be called now) didn’t like that queer history included trans history; biphobes and aphobes didn’t like that the queer community was also a community to bisexuals and asexuals. And so what could they possibly say, to drive people away from the term that was protecting the sorts of queer people that they wanted to exclude?

Well, naturally, they turned to “queer is a slur.”

And here’s the thing – queer is a slur, just like Jew is a slur, and no one is denying that. And that fact makes “queer is a slur so don’t use it” a very convincing argument on the surface: 1) queer is still often used as a slur, and 2) you shouldn’t ever use slurs without carefully tagging and warning people about them (and better yet, you should never use them at all), and so therefore 3) you need to tag for “the q slur” and you need to warn people not to call the community “the queer community” or it’s members “queer people” or its study “queer studies” – because it’s a slur!

But the crucial step that’s missing here is exactly the same one above, for the word “Jew” – and that step is that not all slurs are the same. When a term is both used as a slur and used as a self-identity term, then favoring the slur meaning instead of the identity meaning is picking the side of the slur-users over the disadvantaged group! 

If you say or tag “q slur” you are sending the message, whether you realize it or not, that people who use “queer” as a slur are more right about its meaning than those who use it as their identity. Tagging for “queer” is one thing. People can filter for “queer” if it triggers them, just like people can filter for anything else. Not everyone has to personally use the term queer, or like the term queer. But there is no circumstance where the term “q slur” does not indicate that you think queer is more of a slur than of an accurate description of a community.

If I, as a Jew, ever came across a post where someone had warned for innocent, positive, non-antisemitic content relating to Judaism with the tag “J slur”, I would be incensed. So would any Jew. The act of tagging a post “J slur” is in and of itself antisemitic and offensive.

Queer people are allowed to feel the same about “q slur”. It is not a neutral warning term – it is an attack on our identity.

Well the only thing I think this post can benefit from is a disclaimer of sorts to do a patch test or consume in a small batch in case of allergies.

Healing with Herbs

How to make a tincture

Making a tincture involves steeping the herb or root in alcohol, extracting its oils, minerals, alkaloids, and glycosides so that it is in its purest form. You can use vegetable glycerin or apple cider vinegar instead, particularly in tinctures intended for children, but they aren’t quite as effective at pulling out the good stuff. You’ll need strong alcohol, at least 80 proof. Everclear works well, as does vodka or brandy. You’ll also need a pint jar to fill with the herb or plant you want—any of the herbs listed above will work here. 

Chop the herb up a bit or bash it around with a mortar and pestle to help it break down. You’ll want the jar to be full, but not pack your herbs in too tightly. Then fill the jar completely with the alcohol. (If you’re using dried herbs or roots, you need only put in enough to reach halfway, and then add the alcohol up to the top.)

Seal the jar tightly. Label and date it, and let it rest in a cool, dark place.

For the first week, shake it once a day, then let it rest for five more weeks. At the end of the resting period, use a layer of muslin or cheesecloth held tightly over the jar to strain out the liquid. Decant the tincture into one of those small, dark glass bottles, preferably one with a dropper, and keep it stored away from direct sunlight. It should last for five to ten years.

How to make herbal oil

It’s more trouble than it’s worth to make your own essential oils. A true essential oil is extracted by boiling the herb in question and skimming the oil off the top—that’s a task best left to the professionals. But you can make your own herbal oil. It may not be quite as distilled, but it can still be effective, and it’s a great way to preserve herbs for use long into the winter. The nice thing about creating your own oils is that you can use any combination of herbs that you desire. You might mix calendula, catnip, lemon balm, marshmallow, mullein, plantain leaf, and yarrow for an oil that is particularly effective for skin care, or lavender, vervain, lemon balm, and yarrow for a soothing oil to rub on the temples. Chop or bruise your chosen herbs and place them in a jar. Fill the jar with the carrier oil of your choice (olive or almond oil works well), covering the herbs by one inch, and leaving one inch of space at the top. Close the jar tightly, and allow it to sit in as much sunshine as possible for a month. Strain the oil through a cheesecloth on an as-needed basis, leaving the rest to continue steeping.

How to make a poultice

A poultice is a soft, moist mass of herbs, cloth, and other ingredients, and it’s an excellent tool for treating topical infirmities. A hot poultice is excellent for drawing out infection, as with bee stings or draining abscesses, while a cold poultice will help reduce inflammation. Gather the herbs you want to use, either fresh or dried. If they’re fresh, you may want to mash the herbs up in a mortar and pestle (the traditional way) or blitz them through a food processor (the modern way). Even if you’re planning on making a cold poultice, add a couple of tablespoons of hot water to your herbs to awaken them, before letting them cool. You can add medicinal clay powder, Epsom salts, or baking soda and combine with water until the mixture becomes a thick paste. For ailments like congestion or insect bites, you can place the poultice directly on the skin, making sure, of course, that it isn’t too hot. To treat a burn or something that could easily become infected, place a clean cotton cloth between the skin and the poultice.

Common herbs and their uses

Ashwagandha: The name translates to “smell of horse.” This herb is hard to find fresh, but powders, pills, teas, and extracts are available. Benefits: Increases energy, boosts the immune system, antiinflammatory, reduces anxiety. Suggested use: Stir ¼-½ tsp. powder into warm milk and honey before bed. Concerns: May increase thyroid hormone levels and lower blood sugar.

Black cohosh: This member of the buttercup family could be grown in a garden. Dried roots, capsules, teas, and extracts are also available. Benefits: Relieves menstrual cramps and arthritic pain. Eases symptoms of menopause. Suggested use: Drink as a tea or mix with honey as a syrup. Concerns: May cause upset stomach, so consider taking with food.

Calendula: Also known as marigold, this herb could be grown in a garden, but is also available as teas, oils, and creams. Useful for dyeing and food coloring as well. Benefits: Helps heal cuts. Good for diaper rash or other skin irritations. Calms an upset stomach. Suggested use: Steep petals in just below boiling water for ten minutes, then drink as a tea. Add dried flowers to coconut, almond, or olive oil as a salve. Concerns: None known.

Catnip: It’s not just for cats! Catnip is easily grown and also available as a capsule, tea, extract, and essential oil. It is also handy as an insect repellent. Benefits: Anti-inflammatory. Good for insomnia, upset stomach, menstrual cramps, headache, and treating the common cold. Suggested uses: Steep for tea, sprinkle essential oil into the bath or rub it on the temples, use in cooking (it’s a member of the mint family, so its flavor is better than some). Concerns: None known.

Cranberry: Easily obtained fresh or frozen and also available in pill form, this herb is a great source of vitamin C, fiber, and vitamin E. Benefits: Most frequently used to treat and prevent urinary tract infections. Also shown to reduce risk of cardiovascular disease, slow tumor progression in cancer, and help prevent gum disease. Suggested uses: Because they’re so tart, cranberries often come with a lot of sugar. Try to buy reduced-sugar dried cranberries and stay away from most cranberry juices. If you can manage it, drink the unsweetened juice to relieve a UTI, and certainly try making your own cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving. Concerns: None known.

Dittany: This is one of those herbs with a long history. It is also known as “burning bush.” Easily grown, it is hard to find in dried or tea form. Benefits: Antibacterial, antifungal, and antimicrobial. Good for the skin and the intestines, and is thought to be an aphrodisiac. Suggested uses: Steep in hot water for tea, but use sparingly. Use as an antibacterial balm or poultice. Concerns: If you’ve put some on your skin, stay out of the sun, as it can increase the risk of sunburn.

Elderberry: This herb has been used to battle a flu epidemic in Panama as recently as 1995. It can be grown, but is also available as a pill or an extract. For your personal garden, look specifically for Sambucus nigra, as other elderberry varieties can be toxic. Benefits: Boosts the immune system, treats sinus infections, lowers blood sugar, acts as a diuretic and a laxative, good for skin health and allergies. Suggested uses: They’re delicious! Can be made into a syrup, jams, or jellies—even wine. Concerns: Don’t pick and use wild elderberry unless you’re absolutely certain the plant is Sambucus nigra. Always cook the berries to remove any toxicity.

Feverfew: This is another herb with a long history. Easily grown and available dried, it is most frequently found in capsule form. Benefits: For centuries, it was used to relieve fever, to assist with childbirth, and for fertility. Now it is most frequently used to prevent migraines. It can also help with tinnitus, nausea, dizziness, asthma, and allergies. Suggested uses: It doesn’t taste good, so not recommended even as a tea. Instead, make a tincture or purchase capsules. Concerns: If you do drink it, feverfew can cause irritation in the mouth. If taken in large quantities on a regular basis, stopping can cause withdrawal symptoms, so use only as needed. May cause the uterus to contract, so don’t take while pregnant.

Horse chestnut: This is not the kind of chestnut you’d want to roast on a fire, but it is still useful. It is not recommended for personal processing, as the seed contains esculin, a poisonous substance. Purchase an extract or pill instead. Benefits: Shown to be extremely effective against varicose veins. Also good for hemorrhoids and frostbite. Suggested uses: 300 milligrams of horse chestnut seed extract twice daily. Concerns: Don’t consume raw horse chestnut seeds, bark, or leaves.

Lemon Balm: This member of the mint family has a distinct lemony scent. It is also known as “melissa.” It is easily grown, but also available in tea, extract, and essential oil forms. Benefits: Calms anxiety, encourages restful sleep. Good for the skin, improves mood and mental clarity. Suggested uses: Steep fresh or dried to make tea, use in cooking, use to flavor honey or vinegar, use in a hot bath. Concerns: None known.

Marshmallow: Sadly, these are not the things we put in hot chocolate. The root is available dried, as well as in powder, extract, capsule, and tea form. Benefits: Aids with dry cough, represses inflammation in the lining of the stomach, good for chilblains and sunburn. Suggested uses: Drink as a tea, add to a base oil for a salve. Concerns: May cause low blood sugar.

Milk thistle: This herb is easily grown, as it’s pretty much a weed. It’s available as an extract, pill, or tea. Benefits: Milk thistle can protect your liver from toxins—say, for instance, alcohol. It can even be used to treat cirrhosis and jaundice and helps with environmental toxin damage. Suggested uses: Steep in hot water or make a tincture. Not recommended for use in cooking. Concerns: May cause diarrhea.

Mullein: This is the clear quartz of herbal healing. It is easily found and grown and available both dried and in capsule form. Benefits: Known particularly for respiratory relief, including cough, bronchitis, asthma, and pneumonia, it’s also good for earache, fever, sore throat, migraine, and to heal the skin. Suggested uses: Apply a tincture to relieve ear infection, drink as a tea, use as a salve to heal wounds and bruises. Concerns: None known.

Plantain leaf: Pretty hip these days, as herbal remedies go, plantain leaf is easily grown and available dried or in capsule form. Benefits: Great for the skin, particularly in relieving insect bites, poison ivy, and sunburn. Lowers cholesterol, helps clear up bladder infections, relieves constipation or diarrhea. Suggested uses: Make poultice with clay and water or make a salve with a base oil. Infuse vinegar to spray on the skin to provide pain relief. Drink as a tea. Concerns: None known.

Rue: This herb is also known as “herb of grace.” Easily grown, it is also available dried, in capsule form, or as an essential oil. Benefits: Used to promote menstruation, it provides a sense of calm and well-being and is good for relieving gas, mucus, and arthritis. Suggested uses: As an oil or poultice it can relieve croup or chest congestion. Drink as a tea to ease anxiety. Concerns: This one is serious—it can cause a miscarriage. Use in small amounts, regardless of whether or not you’re pregnant.

Valerian: This is an attractive addition to any garden, with a pleasing scent, but it is the root which holds the good stuff and that does not smell good. Easily grown, this herb is also available in tea, capsule, and extract forms. Benefits: Valerian is very effective against insomnia. It also calms anxiety and depression, and helps with ADHD and headache. Suggested uses: Drink a tea made from the leaves for a mild sedative, or steep the roots for something stronger. Add a tincture to a bath for a gentler, child-friendly alternative. Concerns: None known, but obviously don’t operate heavy machinery.

Vervain: Usually blue vervain is used, but other types seem to work just as well. Easily grown, vervain is also available dried or as an extract. Benefits: Helps with anxiety and sleeplessness. Also provides pain relief, eases tense muscles, and promotes an overall sense of wellbeing. Suggested uses: Steep in hot water as a tea. Not recommended in cooking, though it smells nice, so add a little to a bath. Concerns: May cause nausea.

Yarrow: This member of the sunflower family is easily grown—and quite lovely— and available dried or as an essential oil. Benefits: Relieves fever, as well as cold and flu symptoms. Relieves cramps, provides a sense of calm and relaxation, and aids in restful sleep. Suppresses the urge to urinate (say, during a UTI). Use topically for a rash or small cuts. Suggested uses: Drink as a tea in the evening to induce sleepiness or relieve cold and flu symptoms, or make into a salve for external use. Concerns: None known.

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good morning to this legend <3