Who Takes Middle-Earth-born Celebrian Under Their Wing And Make Her Feel At Home In Valinor, And Why

god i hate how aesthetic-obsessed we have become. i'm not talking about cottagecore or dark academia or any of the other -cores, i'm talking about everything being so glossy and pretty and perfect and smooth and one-liner hot takes and feel-good own-the-conservatives progressivism and Top 10 Company Tweets We Laughed At and ring lights and young vloggers with pastel-perfect colour-corrected lives and carefully curated messy title cards and perfect montages being called "photo dumps" and bookstagrams or booktoks or bookblrs who buy every book they read, not a library edition in sight and "that girl" and this is how you age when you're unproblematic and glow ups and "clean" "inclusive" beauty and earth tones and minimalism and filming random people without their consent and definition of the self through consumption of goods and ggrgehwrgehrgehrgehrgehrrerg

but if i don’t hyperfixate i’ll get depressed and die

an unstoppable force (hobbit curiosity) meets and immovable object (Gandalf not explaining)

You never know how long your words will stay in someone's mind even long after you've forgotten you spoke them.

— Unknown

AITA for trying to get back at someone who double-crossed me?

I (ageless, existed before time, F) had a deal with a skeevy guy (also ageless, though not as much as me, M), and it went sour. I want to preface this by saying that none of what I did was technically illegal, just morally questionable if you're of a certain disposition- I most definitely wasn't what anyone had in mind when writing laws. And a girl has to eat.

Anyway, I'll back it up for context. He'd been formerly estranged from his family (also ageless) who moved across the ocean to make a nice gated community after he wrecked their first home and made his own dark abode there, which they were fine with until Children entered the equation. Not my deal, personally, but to each their own. In fairness, that lot are pretty caring (gross), so it makes sense that they'd go far for these kids, saying he'd be a bad influence. Not my business, either, but I will say that they were right.

He reunited with them after they dragged him to their place, and said that he was sorry, which they accepted and let him have free run of it. This is when he contacted me and asked if I'd help him do a job, and he promised me anything I wanted in return. I didn't take him at his word, of course, but even what I'd be able to get on my own would have been a sweet deal. His sister-in-law (selfish) has these two insane trees, that only grow there, and I wanted to get my hands on them. I'm a fiend for fruit, and syrup, you see, but there was no way for me to get in alone. I'd had my eye on the place for a while, and I knew I needed help to get in. So I agreed to be a distraction while he did his thing.

I held up my part of the deal; I was what some might call hangry, and none of his useless family managed to stop me. I marched right up to those trees and had myself a perfect fruit course. Meat and wine provided by the kids who'd thought they could stop me, it was a full charcuterie. They saw my side of it eventually. Anyway, after all that, I was bloated but still hungry- you try starving for millennia and see how you like it-, but it was time to make our escape, and for me to get my payment. The guy shows up at the rendezvous spot and we get away clean. Turns out he'd gotten what he wanted, and offered me payment from that. The usual, a bunch of gemstones, which I take for myself as a snack, and then three beautiful jewels. Three- and when I say beautiful, I mean they're the best things I've seen in my entire life. So I told him, you know what, I'll take those as payment. To be honest, I could've gone for all three, but I figured I'd start small. And he didn't want to give it to me, which is bullshit, because he said I could have anything. Anything means anything.

Anyway, he refused and I never got them. Seriously, it was close; I almost had him beat and wrapped up for later before he called his friends to ambush me and escape like a coward. Whatever, I made him pay for that at least, he cried like a baby.

I don't feel bad about it, I think I'm in the right here, but I was telling my kids this and it's all "mom, what's wrong with you, how could you do that to him" and "mom, seriously?" and "mom, where's dad, did you eat him too?", which seems unreasonable to me. So I thought I'd ask on here.

Tl;dr- this guy tried to cheat me and I attempted to eat him, AITA?0

when people talk about writing ‘the next Lord of the Rings’ they think it’s all about the wars and the languages and the histories, and Aragorn brooding in the corner of an inn and the Balrog roaring in Moria and the ruins of Isengard, and that’s how we got Game of Thrones and several dozen cheap fantasy knock-offs every year, not to mention whatever nonsense the Amazon show is going to produce

but Tolkien’s wars and languages and histories stemmed from his love of creating - of words and history and mythos - and that love infuses into everything he writes, and if you miss that then there’s no way in hell you can replicate it

and the people who want to write the next Lord of the Rings because they want to write the next epic don’t get that the story is about the hobbits’ soft and simple lives and Bilbo’s poetry and Sam’s love language being food and Eowyn discovering hope after depression and Gandalf making fireworks for hobbits even if he is a literal angelic being, and Aragorn weeping over Boromir’s body and Theoden’s kindness to Merry, and Beregond betraying his most prized orders to save Faramir, and the unlikely friendship between Gandalf and Pippin, and the even unlikelier friendship between Legolas and Gimli, and Sam and Frodo singing to each other in Mordor, and Boromir sacrificing himself for the hobbits, and Sam’s simple love for Rosie, and the restoration of the Shire, and the friendship of the Fellowship surviving down through the ages, and peace after war and hope in darkness, and the love between a gardener and a gentleman pacifist being literally the only thing that saves Middle Earth

and that is why people who try to recreate Lord of the Rings by starting with war always get it wrong. you have to start with the love, or it’s nothing: just another empty history

I like to believe that in the same way Glorfindel was sent to Middle Earth, Finrod could have been a messenger in Númenor and change the fate of Dúnedain.

I did a thing during quarantine!!!

(Ok, I did a lot of things, but this one was helpful and I’m proud of it so I’m sharing!)

I made a list of foods!

Did I base it on suggestions for parents of picky eaters? Yes. Am I a little salty about how everything that helps is designed for toddlers? Yes. Salty enough that I won’t use it? No.

But let me explain.

My Gentleman Caller has been staying with me during quarantine and he really likes cooking. I don’t. So he does the cooking and I do the dishes, because fairness. Problem is I’m finicky about foods and he’s trying to find stuff that is 1) healthy 2) tasty and 3) that I’ll eat! (He is a lovely and majestic man and I’m so grateful for him omg!)

But what this means is that he kept asking me about a whole bunch of recipes in cookbooks and magazines and internet and was getting frustrated by my continual responses of “eh? I think so? Maybe?”

I would go on to explain any hesitation I had about stuff and how I have a hard time seeing a list of ingredients and knowing what they would taste like together. And how I was basically just glancing at the ingredient list for any NO foods.

Then we realized a list would be helpful for him! (Because we are both apparently stupid sometimes it took us a few conversations to get there!)

So I looked up lists of foods and picky eating and found this!

It is for parents of toddlers and small children, but it had a good idea! I liked the Always/Sometimes/Never divisions, but it wasn’t quite right. So I fired up the Excel and started my own list!

I decided my list worked best in 5 categories: Always, Often, Caution, Never, and Unknown. Always is rather self explanatory. Often is my shorthand for I’ll likely eat it unless I’m just not feeling it that day, but it’s probably fine and go ahead and plan on yes.

Caution is for when I only like things on certain foods or prepared in certain ways. On my spreadsheet, for example, one got olives in this category. I only like them on pizza. Also bananas. I only like bananas in banana shape. Not in smoothie form. So if it’s got one of these, basically just check with me first or prepare for substitutions.

Never is for, well, never. I will not eat that. Sometimes it’s a taste, sometimes a texture, sometimes I just plain don’t like it! Point is, not gonna eat it. Ever.

There are a few things in this category I listed in bold (not on the screen caps) because I have an actual horrendous involuntary reaction to them! (It’s stuff like applesauce, grits, oatmeal, etc. anything that can be classified as “gruel” triggers my gag reflex and I end up nearly vomiting with tears and snot running down my face. It’s ugly. Double hard no!)

Then there’s the Unknown category. I joke that I’ve got the flavor palette of a 5 year old, but really there’s just a lot of stuff I haven’t tried. Or haven’t tried often enough to come to a conclusion about them yet. Hence, unknown! I put this in to explain the thought of he can try this stuff, but I literally have no idea what my reaction to it will be. I could love it, could hate it, could love it in one thing but hate it in another! I don’t know yet!

I also in the second screenshot separated them into categories for ease of finding and shopping. Makes it easier for people who aren’t me to find what they’re looking for.

But the interesting thing for me is that I made the list first and separated into categories later. So I found out things about myself I didn’t know! Like, I just don’t seem to like any fruits and berries consistently! None whatsoever! Never knew that! Also makes sense why I’m not keen on pie!

But I’m very proud of my list and my self-reflections and wanted to share! Hopefully it helps others who are particular about their food to explain their preferences to others!

This time of year is always very nostalgic for me bc I used to be the Token Gentile at an office and every few months there'd be a Jewish holiday and my friend would be like "Hey, I need you to do Gentile things for us" and I'd be like hell yes dude. Gentile Things often meant I'd sign things in exchange for a few dollars on venmo but Pesach was a special time for me because it meant everyone gave me boxes of pasta, cereal, and other baked goods. The first time my friends were like "Hey for reasons we won't bother getting into we're going to give you all of our bread" I was like, it is a powerful responsibility but as an Ally I cannot refuse. Best time of the year, frankly