An Unstoppable Force (hobbit Curiosity) Meets And Immovable Object (Gandalf Not Explaining)

i love the silmarillion cause it starts with a group of deities chilling to lo-fi beats and it gets progressively more intense like at one point an elf literally fights off a werewolf with his teeth and it's not even the most dramatic thing that happens

but if i don’t hyperfixate i’ll get depressed and die

Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but there’s no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.

Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilbo’s next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? I’m not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.

Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like ‘Mr Baggins… blease… it’s been 10 years… he was eleventy-one… can we fill out his death certificate yet’ and Frodo was like ‘absolutely not’.

Early on he genuinely couldn’t bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrate’s office than anything else.

Cries in writer

ICYMI: fragments of Kidnap Fam fix-it by Jirt

Here Damrod and Díriel ravaged Sirion, and were slain. Maidros and Maglor were there, but they were sick at heart. This was the third kinslaying. The folk of Sirion were taken into the people of Maidros, such as yet remained; and Elrond was taken to nurture by Maglor. (HoME 5, The Later Annals of Beleriand)

The Third and Last Kinslaying. The Havens of Sirion destroyed and Elros and Elrond sons of Earendel taken captive, but are fostered with care by Maidros (HoME 11, The Tale of Years)

Yet not all the Eldalië were willing to forsake the Hither Lands where they had long suffered and long dwelt; and some lingered many an age in the West and North, and especially in the western isles and in the Land of Leithien. And among these were Maglor, as hath been told; and with him for a while was Elrond Halfelven, who chose, as was granted to him, to be among the Elf-kindred; but Elros his brother chose to abide with Men. (HoME 5, Quenta Silmarillion)

Your average banana is about 150 cubic cm, but that’s too complicated for the math I want to do, and once its masticated you can put it in a smaller space so let’s just call it 100 cm^3. Eating a banana gives you a radiation dose of about 0.1 microsieverts, so ten bananas, or a thousand cubic centimeters of banana in your stomach, would give you one microsievert of radiation. The thing about radiation, is that it won’t kill you very much until you’ve gotten a lot of it, the maximum amount of radiation that astronauts are allowed to take in over their life is 1 sievert, which is the same as if you ate ten million bananas. In fact, even that doesn’t represent a significant danger to them because radiation is most deadly when it happens all at once, so a dose of about 4 sieverts is potentially fatal if it happens all at once, but the highest known non-fatal dose was around 64 sieverts administered (in deeply unethical circumstances) over 21 years, so if you ate about forty million bananas all at once you’d get a potentially lethal dose, but if you had eight thousand bananas for breakfast each morning you could survive the radiation. 

Now, I’m an astrophysicist not a biologist, so people who actually know things will have to forgive me when I say that the human stomach is probably not bigger than a 10x10x10 cm cube, I mean maybe it is, we played with those 10x10x10 cm cubes in math class and they weren’t *that* big, maybe the stomach is two of those, but honestly if I misplace a factor of two here or there it really doesn’t matter too much, I’m doing far worse things to the numbers here, but you certainly shouldn’t be citing anything I’m saying to the sort of precision where a factor of two should matter, I’m being very open about how approximated this is. Human beings, on a similar note, are probably about a cubic meter or two tops, one or two million cubic centimeters, or in other words, about ten or twenty thousand eaten bananas of volume, and the stomach is probably ten or twenty. I know the human digestive system, miracle that it is, is capable of expanding somewhat to fit its contents, but the upper bound on that has to be somewhere less than the entire volume of the human body it is contained in. So if you’ve stuck with me on this exciting journey, I can now lead you directly to the point I’ve been slowly building towards, which is this: If you want to give yourself acute radiation sickness you are going to have to find a method other than eating bananas. You cannot fit enough bananas inside you at any one time to fatally poison yourself with radiation.

You ever think about unimaginably far back in the past the event of the First Age are compared to LOTR. Just. By LOTR Gondor is more than 3000 years old. For us 3000 years ago is… It’s not just before the Roman Empire, it’s before Rome even existed. It’s back before Ancient Greece as we usually mean it was a thing. Tutankhamun ruled around 3300 years ago. Numenor is to Gondor what ancient Egypt is to us. And the founding of Numenor was more than 6000 years prior. That’s older than the first recorded examples of a writing system we have

Imagine being a scholar in Gondor and being able to read a diary that was written by someone in Numenor. Imagine reading a 5000 years old letter written by a Numenorean, and not like a transaction receipt or something of the sorts, not something written for functionality when written language was just invented, but something already fully fleshed out and nuanced. Imagine being told that out there the brother of the first king of Numenor is still alive and he could tell you all about him. That’s like if you could just stroll to a Sumerian and ask them what Uruk was like back in the day. If I was Boromir I would have died on the spot meeting Elrond

And like maybe the scholars would have enough documents and proof to say yes, Numenor existed, Elros existed too, but the common people? What would a fisherman or farmer said if you told them about it? The tale about the son of a star who ruled a star-shaped island, and of the star-shaped island who was sunk in the sea after the old kings became evil, that would absolutely be seen as a legend. There’s gotta be plenty of Gondorians who think Numenor was just a tale, a metaphor, that there’s no way the stories are true, and they’d be right to think that because it’s such a wild tale and from so long ago that it just sounds like someone made it up at some point

I did a thing during quarantine!!!

(Ok, I did a lot of things, but this one was helpful and I’m proud of it so I’m sharing!)

I made a list of foods!

Did I base it on suggestions for parents of picky eaters? Yes. Am I a little salty about how everything that helps is designed for toddlers? Yes. Salty enough that I won’t use it? No.

But let me explain.

My Gentleman Caller has been staying with me during quarantine and he really likes cooking. I don’t. So he does the cooking and I do the dishes, because fairness. Problem is I’m finicky about foods and he’s trying to find stuff that is 1) healthy 2) tasty and 3) that I’ll eat! (He is a lovely and majestic man and I’m so grateful for him omg!)

But what this means is that he kept asking me about a whole bunch of recipes in cookbooks and magazines and internet and was getting frustrated by my continual responses of “eh? I think so? Maybe?”

I would go on to explain any hesitation I had about stuff and how I have a hard time seeing a list of ingredients and knowing what they would taste like together. And how I was basically just glancing at the ingredient list for any NO foods.

Then we realized a list would be helpful for him! (Because we are both apparently stupid sometimes it took us a few conversations to get there!)

So I looked up lists of foods and picky eating and found this!

It is for parents of toddlers and small children, but it had a good idea! I liked the Always/Sometimes/Never divisions, but it wasn’t quite right. So I fired up the Excel and started my own list!

I decided my list worked best in 5 categories: Always, Often, Caution, Never, and Unknown. Always is rather self explanatory. Often is my shorthand for I’ll likely eat it unless I’m just not feeling it that day, but it’s probably fine and go ahead and plan on yes.

Caution is for when I only like things on certain foods or prepared in certain ways. On my spreadsheet, for example, one got olives in this category. I only like them on pizza. Also bananas. I only like bananas in banana shape. Not in smoothie form. So if it’s got one of these, basically just check with me first or prepare for substitutions.

Never is for, well, never. I will not eat that. Sometimes it’s a taste, sometimes a texture, sometimes I just plain don’t like it! Point is, not gonna eat it. Ever.

There are a few things in this category I listed in bold (not on the screen caps) because I have an actual horrendous involuntary reaction to them! (It’s stuff like applesauce, grits, oatmeal, etc. anything that can be classified as “gruel” triggers my gag reflex and I end up nearly vomiting with tears and snot running down my face. It’s ugly. Double hard no!)

Then there’s the Unknown category. I joke that I’ve got the flavor palette of a 5 year old, but really there’s just a lot of stuff I haven’t tried. Or haven’t tried often enough to come to a conclusion about them yet. Hence, unknown! I put this in to explain the thought of he can try this stuff, but I literally have no idea what my reaction to it will be. I could love it, could hate it, could love it in one thing but hate it in another! I don’t know yet!

I also in the second screenshot separated them into categories for ease of finding and shopping. Makes it easier for people who aren’t me to find what they’re looking for.

But the interesting thing for me is that I made the list first and separated into categories later. So I found out things about myself I didn’t know! Like, I just don’t seem to like any fruits and berries consistently! None whatsoever! Never knew that! Also makes sense why I’m not keen on pie!

But I’m very proud of my list and my self-reflections and wanted to share! Hopefully it helps others who are particular about their food to explain their preferences to others!

[ID: adult Zuko unsuccessfully encourages toddler Kya to eat a spoonful of veggies by opening his mouth and saying, "Aaaaaaaaaa." Kya, her mouth tightly closed and knowing that she's winning this battle, smiles at him. Adult Katara laughs in the background, left hand resting on her baby bump. All three of them are dressed in calm, earthy reds and blues. Katara and Zuko both have their hair half up in a bun, the bottom half left loose. Kya's bib has blue moons and red suns, and her features are a mix of her parents'. It is a happy, domestic Zutara scene.

End ID.]

just some dadko dramatically attempting to fill kya’s daily veggie intake as momtara loses it in the background

The Valar as a collective (not necessarily each individual, such as Ulmo) seem to find it difficult to empathize with beings of lesser power than they who are tied to time, especially beings who can be killed and aren’t willing to wait around for millennia for the Valar to come up with a solution when things are bad and people are dying right now. Like op said, they aren’t used to being told, “I don’t agree with any of y’all, and I’m going to pursue this goal my own way, whether y’all like it or not.” They’re not used to having more than two sides to a conflict, and throughout the Silmarillion they consistently underestimate the determination of the Children, especially the Noldor and the Numenoreans. 

So, do the Valar know the elves aren’t  just fleshy-Maiar?

(I’m tired so this might be ramble-y but oh well)

So, Pre-elves the Valar only really interact with Maiar, who basically do whatever they want and are kind of just fancy servants. The only times we actually see a Maia rebel- e.g. Mairon- it’s basically just a switch in who they listen too and not a bid for independence.

So has anyone except Melkor actually flat out told the Valar No?

Because if not that sort of explains how they have no idea how to deal with the elves.

Specifically the Noldor.

Because the Noldor, even though they are favoured by Aule, strive to create independently and without oversight from the Valar, and it’s with them the Valar screw up the most. Literally most of the problems in the first age would have been less catastrophic if the Valar had just let them leave. No first kinslaying because Olwe could just let the borrow the boats, no Helcaraxe, someone could have slapped Feanor upside the head before he got himself killed ect. But instead the Valar just…thought they’d be listened to when they told them to not go after the guy who murdered their dearly beloved king and stay put in Valinor forever, even when it’s implied Namo already knew Finwe is dead and should probably have told his son as soon as he found out but didn’t and the Valar immediately mourned the loss of the Silmarils rather than the elf who died in a place they promised would be safe.

And not knowing how elves work would kind of explain why they thought Feanor would be okay with Finwe remarrying. No Maiar had ever been unhappy with their decisions, so why would an elf be different?

It also explains the…weirder aspects of LaCE. Because some of LaCE reads like it was invented purely for population control (see sex as an act purely to create children), and that would make sense if it was put down by a race that just didn’t do sex as the ainur are implied to be. And everyone is expected to follow it and be happy, because no-one had ever told the Valar they weren’t.

Any way, idk. I’m probably reading too much into this, and this probably wasn’t articulated very well.

Tl:dr- The Valar got too used to dealing with people that do everything they tell them too and elves don’t like being told what to do Thank You Very Much