-peacefully Working On A Project-

I feel like some people would like this song right now. Been a while since I’ve listened to it but I stumbled back upon it while looking for a different song. Hang in there everyone.

Hi. I hope you’re doing well. I hope things get better for you. If you need a hug or encouragement know that I’m cheering for you. And sending as many hugs as I can! You’ve done really well. I’m glad you’ve made it this far and I hope you go even farther. Safe travels my friend. And may your journey go ever so smoothly. And if you ever need a break, don’t be afraid to take one. You can always hop on by. There’s always a comfy spot waiting just for you. So take a seat and relax. You’re amazing. So just rest for a while or go do what you need to do, we’ll be there cheering you on. Have a wonderful day, night, week, year. Best wishes, from all

As there’s a lot of current events going on, I just want to say, you did really well. Great job sticking things out. You’re strong and amazing and I’m happy to see you’ve made it so far. Sure there’s a lot of shit going on but you’ve pulled through. So no matter what happens, don’t blame yourself okay? We did our best. And if you need a break take one. Here, I’ll save you a seat. You can come take a break next to me if you want or with the many others who care about you. Don’t know where to take a rest? Anywhere is fine as long as you feel safe. So find your safe place and cuddle up. We’ll get through this together.

Have a safe and cozy day/night everyone. Stay strong, cry, relax, breathe, we’ll be here.

Oh, sorry, found myself doomscrolling on your page. Pay no mind to the flood of likes. I am merely enjoying your humour and presence in this online world.

Okay so I don’t have anything nearly as in depth to say but I do have some thoughts. This is more in general fandomness not just queer related media. So some context: This isn’t my art account but I do make fanart and societal views of the media greatly affect what I may end up posting. I recently became a fan of a kpop band and drew one of the band members. I was scared to post it cause of so many what-ifs and the fact that it didn’t get it to look quite right. But that’s beside the point. Anyway, when I went to talk to friends about if I should post it one of them pointed out some things I had never thought about. So kpop, anime, and other media doesn’t have a good reputation where I’m from though anime has become more accepted. My friend said “So you know how a group of women isn’t evil. But then when a group of women like something it’s given a bad reputation?” Something along those lines but they said it better than I could put into words. And I feel like this has to do with the “only straight women like this media”. It’s mysogenistic. And also just incorrect in the grand scheme of things. So many people like a variety of things but when certain groups of people like something people will attack it just using the basis “well these people like it so it must not be good”. Which, is just so odd. Why would a group of people liking something somehow affect the quality of media? Like I’m sure it would have some influence but not in the way that is used in such an argument. I want to go on more but honestly can’t figure out how to go on so pls add to this. (Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I’m not quite sure how to properly express my thoughts)

Now onto a different topic. So I’m a fan of very niche things and highly enjoy my corny cheesey little shows. Some of which I would recommend to my friends until they called one of my shows cringe. Which, okay if it isn’t your thing I completely understand. But it’s a show I’ve expressed that I loved and even recommended. Now if you want to call my show anything call it corny, cheesey, goofy, cause it is. It’s overly dramatic yeah but that’s its vibe. Cringe is so overused and just saying stuff like this made me more wary about what shows I offer people and avoid shows that maybe they would actually like. If you’re going to criticize something, don’t just use negative words. Call it what it is. If it’s cheesey or over dramatic maybe it won’t have that gritty plot line you’re looking for but it’s not supposed to have that. It’s supposed to be a lil goofy, it’s supposed to be fun. Yeah it’s ‘unrealistic’ but the characters have super powers so it was never meant to be. Hell even if they didn’t have powers sitcoms exist for a reason. (Rak Diao, my love).

Another lil tidbit I wanted to add on was just basic understanding of media. I’ve talked about this before so I’m just gonna copy and paste it but edit it to make sense in this context:

So I find I don’t understand everything. By this I mean I can take one understanding of a piece, look at the piece again and just be like damn how on earth was I so wrong before? It’s why I like giving shows a second chance. Cause I might of completely misunderstood what’s happening or maybe I never knew in the first place. It’s just the meaning I took at that time and now I’ll learn something else from it. Like something I might misremember or have a bad impression of I’ll go back and recheck and be like, yeah no I was so wrong. This is great! And vice versa, I’ll be like man this is so good, rewatch and notice things that are a bit iffy. And just go hmmmmm. Just enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be afraid to try things again or let things go. Also, a lot of things fly over my head in shows cause I’m not aware or conscious of everything and I don’t know all the experiences or relevant ties things may have so it’s always good to double check or get a second pair of eyes. (See I read an entire book thinking the main character was a boy. It wasn’t until literal years later I found out the main character was a girl. Did this change much of anything? Not really. But it’s an example and I still thought the fairy and main character were going to end up dating. Alas they did not.)

I hope some of this made sense. T^T

Putting my thoughts out here is terrifying, cause of again all those what-ifs. Anyway, I don’t know how to uh end my lil spiel so yeah. (￣▽￣;)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

That’s it imma start collecting these. Every time something uses an unfathomable amount of candles all I can think about is everything going up in flames.

Okay okay I just watch Color Rush 2 and (spoilers included) hear me out.

Poly. That’s all I really want to say. What if, all three of them just start going out. I think it’d be fun. But also, I just, I don’t think the way they see colors would be like that. I don’t think seeing colors would automatically be euphoria or anything, like yes I enjoy colors but hearing about colors would probably make them sound fantasy like with how others would stress over how much better it is but it’s not like seeing in grayscale is bad. Like okay I’m sorry but I think it’d be way more overwhelming and headache inducing to suddenly see more colors. It’d be interesting but something someone has to get used to, and there’d be a disconnect for a while. Anyway, sorry I have a lot of thoughts about how the shock of being bombarded with differing visuals would take a toll (listen I know he faints the first few times but also like I don’t think seeing colors would automatically be magical. I think it’d be more nauseating for a while there.) ahem, okay yeah still love it I just, lots of what-ifs, you know (and it’s super interesting to me, these aspects)? Anyway yeah poly, I think it’d be cute. Do I think they’d all get along? No. I think they’d need to get used to it first but I would love to see how they would interact with each other. Yo I’m just imagining so many different scenarios. Clearly the first things that happens when (I don’t remember any of their names) the guy (the probe? one) shows back up without a mask and both the others faint. I just, man I think it’d fun. Okay I’m done rambling for now. I’ve got sooo much shit to do but this makes me feel happy so yeah. Have a good day/night!

For the writing ask game, number 26: story your most proud of

oof.

this is a loaded question, because I'm proud of a few different stories for their own reasons.

The Sorcerer And The Court Noble, my first self-published novel (which is available to buy digitally through my dms for those interested) is the one I am *most* proud of, because it was a labour of love for nearly 10 years of revisions and based off a series of films and novels that have firmly planted themselves into japanese folklore and pop culture. It's a love story between Abe no Seimei and Minamoto no Hiromasa, real men who really lived and whose shrines you can visit to this day. It's a very special story to me.

The Agony And The Ecstasy Of Sherlock Holmes, my second self-published novel (which is also available to buy digitally through my dms for those interested) based on the events of series 4, told through emails, texts, surveillance footage, hospital records, and therapist's notes. I've never written a story of that length in such a short period of time, when I myself was in indescribable physical pain due to several spontaneous disc herniations in my spine. It's a deeply personal study of Sherlock Holmes' character and I'll always be very proud of it.

Runaway Judges, a post-series the devil judge fic inspired by the mishima: a life in four chapters OST, specifically the track runaway horses (poetry written with a splash of blood). It examines the push-and-pull relationship between Yo Han and Ga On in the aftermath of the courthouse explosion in episode 16; it's about the characters' pain and sacrifice as declarations of love for each other and how they begin to heal from all the hurt and misunderstandings between them now that they're both ghosts as they flee to Switzerland and start a new life. It's probably my favourite TDJ fic I've ever written.

The common thread between all three of these works is actually something based in the first onmyoji film, which TSatCN follows. In it, Hiromasa cradles the woman he loves, Sukehime, in his arms as she succumbs to a spell that turned her into a vengeful demon; a demon that feeds on men's blood. He offers her his life, presenting his bare arm to her and tells her, "It's alright. I do not mind, in the end, if it is you that kills me." Watching that scene as a child (I was twelve) rewired something in my brain pretty fundamentally when it came to my understanding of love and sacrifice. It's followed my writing ever since, and these three works all examine the relationship between pain, sacrifice, penance, devotion, and love - the concept of dying for love of someone else makes my heart ache in the best way, and I love exploring that depth of emotion in my writing.

thanks for playing! <3

You ever watch a show and get to the final episode only for them to belt out into song? Like look at the screen, 4th wall break, and then starts singing? I never expect it but it’s happened more than once to me. Which isn’t a lot but I’m never prepared. I find it amusing and still enjoy it but they really do like just throwing it at you, no warning. Or maybe I just don’t read the summary enough.