Any Other Narcs Get Uncomfortable When You're The Center Of Attention Without Trying. Like If You Want

The thing about NPD is nothing is ever enough.

Yeah I’m intelligent but I’m not intelligent enough.

Yeah I’m beautiful but I’m not beautiful enough.

Yeah I’m important to them but I’m not important enough.

There’s a chronic feeling of emptiness because I think so highly of myself but I was never enough for my abuser and now I will never be enough for myself.

My fellow narcissists (people who have NPD) are one of the most loyal, resilient, and straightforward people I’ve met in my life. I know that our disorder is terribly misunderstood but here’s a reminder that we don’t have to align with unfair treatment pwPDs receive within the mental health advocacy community.

It’s okay to love your narcissism, it’s okay to appreciate the positive and beneficial attributes and qualities it gives us. A lot of us are incredibly protective of our friends, more than a non-NPD individual will ever be - because our disorder makes us so. A lot of us are helpful and incredibly caring individuals because of our NPD, and those closest to us can feel this blanket of care and protection settling over them. A lot of us are self-sacrificial (shocker.) because of our NPD, passionate because of it, or have other pleasant, beneficial, good qualities of character amplified because of our NPD.

I’ll make a rough guess and say that one of the most pleasant people you’ll ever meet are probably narcissists, because it benefits us to be liked, not all of us thrive off negative attention. So, hold your sanism. And to my fellow pwNPD, I love you.

reblog if you have narcissistic eyes and dark energy

I don't want to die, I just want to disappear mentally and physically.

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

You can still want positivity for your disability even if you genuinely struggle with the symptoms and wish you didn’t have it. Both of these things can co-exist and you’re valid.

Npd culture is no pressure! :3 (but if you do not do the thing I want you to do I will be very upset and resent you, maybe even hate you for a bit.)

/not aimed at you

- 🌧️hydra

.

NPD is also about having learned so much on how to present yourself because you were forced to perform at an age far too early for that, then growing up and looking down at everyone who cannot perform as well as you do and considering them weak and unprepared for life. How dare you not have the horrific experience of lacking any sense of self unless you’re praised and elevated.

thanks for your constructive criticism! unfortunately, im taking it as a personal attack and am about to bite you.

NPD culture is PLEASE ASK ME THINGS!!!!! PLEASE BE GENUINELY INTERESTED ON WHO I AM AND ANALYZE ME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT ME, MAKE A LIST IDK BUT PLEASE.

.