CW: Mentions Of "narc Abuse" And Ableism Against PwNPD

i am human and i am flawed because of it but there is an innate capability to connect in the human brain and i think maybe it's okay to start out by connecting to yourself however that may look

this is some things i have to deal with, and i’m guessing i’m not the only one, so:

- even when you feel like a bad person, you’re probably not.

- putting yourself first is not selfish.

- having lower empathy doesn’t make you bad.

- not noticing when you hurt people until they tell you isn’t your fault, what matters is your actions after you’ve been told.

- not recognising yourself during episodes/crashes is normal, and even though it might be scary it’s okay.

- anger is a good emotion, it’s there for a reason. once again, your actions while angry are what matters.

- self-isolation can be good sometimes, mostly to avoid conflict or to avoid ruining relationships (for me).

- you deserve people in your life that understand you.

so i’ve been thinking again, and i wanna make an important reminder for my fellow cluster b folks and trauma survivors.

healing involves evaluating your current behaviors, how they may be harmful to yourself and others, and then replacing those behaviors with more constructive coping skills.

in order to do that, it’s important to approach the healing process without judgment. especially when you have a cluster b disorder or any personality disorder, it can be hard not to judge yourself as a bad person because of your maladaptive behaviors. you may see yourself as selfish, for example, because of possessive or dismissive actions.

but remember that being selfish is a survival instinct—your body and mind wants to look out for itself first, that’s totally normal. even though the results of that desire may be harmful, it’s best to acknowledge and accept that those maladaptive behaviors are a trauma response, and there is no reason to judge yourself for that.

self-love can feel nigh impossible for cluster b’s but it’s so important to our healing to at least try! i love yall and i believe in you!

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

sometimes you just gotta develop feelings of superiority and entitlement and move on tbh

Yeah planning out how to "torture" people definitely seems like a very reasonable and healthy thing to do.

I don't want to die, I just want to disappear mentally and physically.

Does anyone else with NPD ever get the urge to be emotionally abusive or manipulative? Like obviously you're not going to go and do it because that's bad, but like... having power over someone? making people feel bad? having complete control over their emotions? God I wish I had that sometimes.

So many of my NPD traits come from being told the exact opposite of what the disorder is all about. I spent years and years being constantly told both through actions and words that I was inferior. That I didn’t matter. And I will be damned if I let anyone make me feel inferior again.

That’s really what it boils down to. It’s not about being more than. It's about the intense dread of being less than.

reblog to tell your local narcissist that they’re the best ever