Sending Good Vibes To All My Cluster B Pals 💕

Me: If, hypothetically, a person’s trauma causes them to become severely mentally ill and that illness makes them potentially difficult or even harmful to be around, wouldn’t that mean that we as a society should therefore focus on preventing that type of trauma and encourage compassion and recovery for these people to reduce the risk of the cycle continuing?

“Narc abuse” mfs: Everyone I deem as having this rare personality disorder that is notoriously difficult to diagnose and psychiatrists often refuse to treat is a soul-sucking demonic Incubus that should be skinned alive

I love it when narc abuse truthers start traumadumping about their experiences with narcs in their "all narcs are bad" posts. whatever, power to you talking abt your trauma, but how the fuck is that backing up your point on how every single narcissist is an abuser?

hey maybe, when people with npd tell you not to call abusers and rapists and the like narcissistic just because they're horrible people, view it not as us defending abusers or trying to control how victims talk about their trauma, and more like i as a survivor don't wanna be fucking put in the same category as an abuser or rapist for no fucking reason because you can't bring it upon yourself to spell the word egotistical

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

Maybe NPD Culture is seeing someone try to one-up other people and deciding to join in because you're the best at one-upping people.

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this is some things i have to deal with, and i’m guessing i’m not the only one, so:

- even when you feel like a bad person, you’re probably not.

- putting yourself first is not selfish.

- having lower empathy doesn’t make you bad.

- not noticing when you hurt people until they tell you isn’t your fault, what matters is your actions after you’ve been told.

- not recognising yourself during episodes/crashes is normal, and even though it might be scary it’s okay.

- anger is a good emotion, it’s there for a reason. once again, your actions while angry are what matters.

- self-isolation can be good sometimes, mostly to avoid conflict or to avoid ruining relationships (for me).

- you deserve people in your life that understand you.

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

24/7 fighting the urge to not make everything about me

Here's to narcissists. You aren't evil, abusive, or bad for having NPD. The trauma you went through to develop NPD was not your fault, you didn't deserve it, and I genuinely hope you can heal from it in whatever way is the healthiest for you. I love you, care about you, and wish you the best.