I Didn’t Expect This

Chapter Two ->

this is an artistic rendition of my irrational fear of a head that attacks only under the cover of the very loud toilet flush in the scary top floor bathroom at the hospital and how i exited the bathroom when i decided to flush and run as opposed to my normal method of flushing and putting my back to a wall

was lamenting the fact that my eczema is flaring up when the thought "the itcher" popped into my head fully formed and unprompted and now i can't stop laughing

never mind

The Brain from Planet Arous | 1957

The world would be so much better if everyone was as smart as you

I made a slideshow of things I think someone should invent

Inventions I Haven't Invented Yet A.K.A. Inventions I Will Never Invent but Someone Else Should Invent Them Created by Fin

"I can't believe no one has invented these yet. Someone should get on that. Not me though. I'm just the idea guy. I don't actually have any skills." -Fin

Invention 1: TeleCath

TeleCath What is it? - A catheter that teleports the user's pee straight into the toilet. - Two parts: the catheter and the discarder. The catheter is inserted by a doctor into the user's urethra. The discarder is installed by the user into the toilet of their choice. The discarder has an automatic flush feature.

TeleCath What problems does this solve? - Waking up to pee: The user no longer has to wake up from a restful sleep to use the toilet. The TeleCath will remove the feeling of having to go, so the user can just stay asleep without even realizing they are going to the bathroom. - Disabilities: Sometimes disabilities make it hard to get up to use the toilet. With TeleCath, the user does not need to make unwanted trips to the restroom and can be independent instead of relying on another person to help them to the restroom. - Movie Theaters: You know when you’re in a movie theater and you’re watching a movie, and you can’t pause it because its a movie theater, and you don’t want to miss anything, but also you want to drink that extra large soda? Problem solved. TeleCath can teleport your pee all the way to your home toilet. - Laziness: I simply do not want to get up. Now I don’t have to. Thank you, TeleCath.

"TeleCath has solved so many bathroom-related problems for me. I can’t wait until they come out with a version for poop. I hate pooping, it’s such a waste of time." -Potential User Review

Invention 2: Instant Ear Plugs

Instant Ear Plugs What is it? - An implant put into the user’s outer ear canal. The user simply presses a button to inflate the plug to drown out unwanted noise. - Optional: upgrade to Ear Phones version to play music, podcasts, videos, and white noise on the go!

Instant Ear Plugs What problems does this solve? - ADHD and Autism: It sucks when you’re in public and you start to get really overstimulated but you don’t have any headphones or ear plugs with you. ADHD makes it difficult to remember to bring ear plugs to places. - Concerts and other events: Have you ever been to Monster Jam? Shit is loud. No more buying ear plugs at the event and then subsequently losing them, or finding out they are not good quality. Now you have the best quality ear plugs with you! - Headphones and ear plugs can get lost: Instant Ear Plugs are implanted in the user’s outer ear canal, so they never get lost! Water resistant, so the user can still take showers and go swimming.

"Never malfunctions, and saves me a lot of time. I have ADHD, and I can’t always remember to bring ear plugs or headphones with me. I also lose things a lot. Instant Ear Plugs have eliminated those problems." -Potential User Review

Pride flag collection

This is my new favourite headline I've seen all year lmaooo