My Watchers = Endermen Au Is Now Called The Don't Look Back AU I Don't Make The Rules.

learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

stream doodle before i go to bed 👍

!Spoiler warning!

I've only watched 3.5 povs (Cleo, Scar, Scott and Martyn part way) and I'm already so emotional.

The family is dead!! But reunited as ghosts. I'm imagining them haunting Etho for the last minutes of his life.

Etho and Grian sword loyalty, honestly forgot about it for a bit with Ethos mess of questionable loyalties. Only know about it because of Scars ep so idk how that's gonna go.

Martyns unfailing loyalty until the very end. Scott giving up time so things would be fair and him just killing them, saying he doesn't want to play silly games. Him going for Scott first. Unexpected but not out of character, I'm pretty sure he considers betraying everyone.

...Just reached the last few minutes of Martyns, it's so dramatic and intense here and I'm worried even though I know he wins. Heard we get lore if he wins but there's only 2 minutes left so I'm doubtful...

We'll see I guess.

you're not alone, look at my shadow I'm behind you like a ghost

You know, we really should be figuring out what Martyn's winner title thing is by seeing if any of the options fit non-winners better. Process of elimination and all that.

Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.

For @literallyjusttoa from @heresronnie21, “Apollo taking Meg to meet the sun horses and tour Olympus.”