Astronomists Report The Sun No Longer Wishes To Identify As A Star And Plans To Cease All Nuclear Activity

Of all the ads and sites for hooking up, has there ever been a guy offering to do oral on a woman? Doesn't have to be full sex, just the girl getting eaten out until she's tired. It wouldn't be s&m. Do male escorts do that kind of thing? You always hear about blowjob offers, but never the other way around. Wonder if that's a worthwhile idea...

https://www.facebook.com/robertfrank615/videos/1902394196638792/

Glad this guy is as out of touch with stupid, fucking pop-culture/millennial shit as I am.

Pizza, I really like you, but you've become a bad habit. Time to stop being lazy and get back to making the less deadly food I love. Which is kind of funny because I'm not a health nut. Though, I realized all the stuff I really like is basically a Mediterranean diet. Who knew? I noticed spaghetti isn't in those, though... -_- But, time to get these love handles to go away again. It's just too easy to get into bad eating habits. Just takes a little effort to get back into good habits, right? It's easy to notice the huge difference in energy when you start eating right. Might feel a little hungry in the beginning, but in the immortal words of Admiral Ackbar, "IT'S A TRAP!"

Everything Is Terrible

I would rather have been a terrible storm, a great wave to crush a coastline, a rampaging tornado, or a furious volcano.

Honestly, I'm kind of hoping I have a brain tumor so I'll know this weird shit isn't me just me being insane.