Happy Friday 13th

“So let me get this straight. We’re here to rescue a princess.”

“That’s right.”

“At the request of a princess.”

“Right again.”

“And you, who will be leading the expedition, are also a princess.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How big is your royal family, again?“

“We don’t have one.”

“But–“

“We overthrew our monarchy centuries ago, but we kept most of the titles around. The rank of ‘princess’ is held by the directors in charge of various civil service branches.“

“Huh. And the princess we’re rescuing today is in charge of…?”

“Public sanitation.”

“The Lord of Death’s Dominion kidnapped your public sanitation director?”

“We think he’s a little confused.”

honestly, being a vampire who is also a goth kid is the best possible cover

nobody’s gonna think the kid in all black, with an umbrella and sunglasses and a shirt that says ‘bite me’ is ACTUALLY a vampire, they’ll just think you’re a goth kid pretending to be a vampire

Hey, @the-rain-on-your-dandelions, has anyone told you that you’re a genius? That’s an incredible system. I wish I had a friend group that could function for!

The fact that Julius Caesar burst into tears after reading about Alexander the Great because they were the same age but he could never live up to Alexander is one of the greatest things I’ve learnt as a classics student

that good good feel when your brain is all staticy and refusing to work with you

i think part of the reason why i love disney’s hercules so much is that the idea of a sassy hades resounds so deeply with me as a person who has siblings. like imagine if you were rich as fuck and had to live in what’s basically the flooded basement of the entire world while your brothers fart around banging everything in sight. if i had to live in a literal swamp and listen to stories about poseidon turning into a horse to get sexy with demeter i’d probably have no fucking patience too

the f in frog stands for friendship

anxiety cycles🌀