This Is Long Overdue; But Thanks To @ghastspidergwen For The Tag! 🙂

1. Double digits and upwards? That makes you a prolific fic author, my friend! (And I’m all for having multiple pokers in the fire at once; variety being the spice of life, and that.)

2. As someone that types so much faster on keyboard than a touchscreen: I salute you!

(Good call on the use of various online resources as research tools, too! I believe it was Charles Stross that once commented that one of his most-used avenues of research - in a very literal sense - was Google Street View.)

3. I have a friend that is an incredible musician; and she operates under the ethos that:

a. We live in an era of unparalleled, Internet/enabled access to content; where small artists are inevitably drowned out by the sheer volume of output on offer. However:

b. This is why it is so vital for small artists to create, first and foremost, for themselves; to make art that is weird, and wonderful, and unconventional: because the Internet connects artists with those that appreciate their art. ❤️

Regarding the fanfic asks: 📈, 🛠️, and 🤗!

📈 How many fics do you have?

Uh. UH. I... they're kind of spread over a few different areas, and are we counting only active fics?

Upwards of ten active WIPs. I don't want to chase down every WIP I have somewhere, or even the completed little one shots.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I do ninety percent of my writing in gdocs. It's quick, easy, and I can do it on my phone because I'm a madlad.

In terms of 'tools', just stuff for names. I've been using a lot of wiktionary to research the meaning behind various kanji to help create names for Naruto/Bleach, and occasionally even get to use it for some wordplay. Otherwise, random name generators, behindthename, top 100 baby names - that kind of stuff.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

This kind of goes for any writer or creative but: create for yourself first. Pleasing your audience is great! It feels great! But don't chase them.

Make something for yourself first, be happy with it, satisfied, and let that be enough. And then, if people like it, that's great! If they don't, well, who cares? You didn't make it for them.

Dose two: addendum

I feel like I might have spoken too soon on my COVID vaccine side effects dying down; I’m now four days post-hoc and it feels like I still have some issues (muscle aches and swollen glands on the injection side; feverishness if I overexert myself).

It’s physically irritating, mentally debilitating, and it only fuels my anger more towards the sum group of people inflamed this situation for their own selfish reasons.

(I will also add: a couple of years ago, the spouse and I caught a very strange, persistent cold virus; the lymph nodes in my upper torso and neck flared up like nobody’s business and remained that way for almost eight to ten weeks.

It scared the hell out of me, as that kind of persistent swelling is generally associated with far worse ailments; and I was still in my passive ideation phase at the time and was pretty convinced that This Was It. Thankfully it went away on its own; but in retrospect, I’m realizing that this episode might be another unprocessed issue I now have to unpack and deal with.)

I know they selected “Death Riders” as their new group moniker; but “BCC: PAC and White” was right there!

I love that the uniform is white shirts and then there’s PAC.

Silencer

My company had its employees work remotely for much of the pandemic. In June, with the widespread availability of vaccines and the dropping infection rate, we were recalled to the main office.

This was, personally, a terrifying prospect; for I had left the office a Lawrence, and returned as Lauren. Acceptance of my transition was overwhelmingly positive; but such events took place during the remote work era.

Put simply: in-person is a different matter.

Put bluntly: I was deeply frightened of now having to share a bathroom with my cis female coworkers; and how they might react to my presence.

For weeks and weeks post-recall, I tried to time my bathroom breaks in such a way that I never interacted with another employee. I wouldn’t enter the restroom if it was occupied; I would hide in my stall if others should enter the space.

Eventually the inevitable occurred, and I crossed paths with my coworkers. Some were obviously surprised at my (wholly logical) presence; but remained true to their word on embracing the new me.

I’m not sure I will ever quite shake the fear of a bathroom interaction gone bad; but for now, matters are manageable.

This does however bring me to a wholly unexpected observation, and the title of this post.

It’s a multi-stall bathroom. There were times where cis-women were present, and using a stall for one of its many intended purposes: peeing. Not just peeing, but peeing loudly. It was if someone had turned the spigot on a hose pipe!

The difference was only noticeable because I had, at times, found myself also trying to pee; and as stealthily as possible at that. Where theirs was a torrential downpour, mine was but an imperceptible and gentle stream.

It was in one of these strange moments of comparison that it occurred to me that I was capable of such feats - and they were not - because, anatomically-speaking, I am currently equipped with a silencer... And this metaphor has not left me since!

Clint Eastwood

Last night my spouse hit me up with one of their best impressions. With the most gravely, world-weary voice they could muster, they said the following:

“I want to do a Clint Eastwood impression, but... ...Turns out you need to know... ...Some of his lines.”

I love them so much!

Night terror

Last night I had a very strange night terror episode.

Normally I will be dreaming, and things will get progressively more anxiety-inducing - e.g. something will be chasing me, or I’ll be trying to fight off an attacker. Then my brain will conjure up a truly terrifying phenomenon (like shadow people launching themselves at me en masse) and I’ll scream myself awake.

This time though, I dreamt that I was in my bed... And that God (who I don’t actually believe in) was beaming sound into the fan next to the bed, so I would hear it... And that sound was: cat litter being poured.

Then the screaming started!

I really, really don’t know what my brain was thinking last night.

…And again in the season one Babylon 5 episode, “Infection”:

“You and the rest, you forgot the first rule of the fanatic: when you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy!”

That JMS repeated himself virtually verbatim goes to show that this is a message he felt very strongly about (and rightfully so)!

That video of Alex Hirsch reading S&P notes for Gravity Falls conveys a few things to me:

1) the U.S. entertainment industry (especially animation) is run by older conservative types who make up offensive terms and get really mad about them.

2) the people who run Disney would be the first to fall in line with a fascist regime.

3) most of the media we consume is tailor-made and watered-down to appeal to the tastes of older, deeply religious conservative audiences.

4) conservatism, not the left, is and always has been the biggest voice of censorship in American culture.

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

Bags

Last week I stepped into the bedroom and there was a Ziploc bag on the floor. This was more than a little confusing, as they nominally live in the kitchen, on top of our refrigerator.

My best guess was that either my wife or I picked one up, absentmindedly brought it into the room, and left it there.

Fast forward to last night: it is perhaps 3 or 4am; and there is a strange rustling coming from the foot of the bed. I get up to investigate, at which point our youngest cat rockets out of the room... Leaving behind ten Ziploc bags, full of tiny teethmarks.

I love her so much... But she is absolutely, quantifiably, an idiot.

Photoshoot

As part of the process of becoming a US citizen, I was required (yet again) to travel to Detroit and visit a USCIS field office for a 'biometrics' appointment. As the name implies, they measure your statistics, take photographs, and fingerprint you.

(While I can understand the desire to prevent known malcontents from falsely acquiring official documentation, the process is overly invasive and to top it off, costs the applicant $80. That's a discussion for another day, however.)

What they did not tell me at the time is that the photograph would later appear on my official Certificate Of Naturalization - if they had, I might have worn something other than an oversized hoodie. Alas.

Now I have to have my Certificate reissued as my legal name and gender having changed and fortuitously, the USCIS allows for this (although there's another $555 fee, because of course there is).

Thankfully, they will let me supply my own photograph this time. So I put on my best dress, did my hair and makeup, and met up with my photographer nephew at the local park for a photoshoot. I'm excited to see the results!

As a fun bonus for the day: on the way home, I stopped for bubble tea at a new Vietnamese restaurant. I recommended the place to my coworker yesterday; and was entertained to see him walk in five minutes after I did to collect an order. I was more delighted to see that he didn't actually recognize me at first - presumably because he's never seen me in a dress before!