Unexpected HRT Side-effect #16

I grew up in the UK. As a teenager, I inadvertently lacerated my index finger; an injury that necessitated emergency medical intervention, followed by surgery to repair the two tendons I had severed.

The total cost to myself and my family: £0.

A few years later, I was employed; and I am lead to understand that around 11 - 12% of my income was taxed in the form of National Insurance (which pays for the NHS; plus a number of other significant social services).

...

I then moved to the US; where I contracted a series of common respiratory infections that, unfortunately, would routinely lead to such complications as bronchitis, pneumonia, and (on one memorable occasion), pleurisy.

My first major introduction to the exorbitant cost of American-style, privately-funded healthcare came when, during one of these instances, I needed a chest x-ray; for which I paid $400 out of my own pocket (equivalent, at the time, to a month's rent).

There was a later instance in which a family member was experiencing breathing difficulties, and was directed to the ER. The medical professionals involved ordered virtually every test in their arsenal (as they were not privy to, nor concerned, with the costs involved). Our private health insurer refused to pay for these, citing the need to investigate a possible preexisting condition.

That one event cost us $15,000.

...

At my company, a mid-level employee is paid a salary of $60,000. They then have the option to purchase a mid-range private health insurance plan with coverage of all family members. This costs $600 a month; 12% of their income.

So far, there is relative parity with the NHS.

However: the plan also includes a $3,750 deductible; and a $7,500 out-of-pocket maximum. That is to say: until you reach the first threshold, the insurer pays little to nothing; and it is only when you reach the second threshold that they will pay for the entirety of your care.

(And this does not account for out-of-network care; i.e. conducted by medical providers that do not have a contract with the health insurer specifying payment rates. The out-of-network thresholds are tracked separately; and both are on the order of tens of thousands of dollars.)

So really, in the event that you actually need to exercise your health insurance, you are potentially paying up to 24.5% of your income on healthcare.

But wait, there's more!

The aforementioned $600 per month isn't the full insurance premium; merely the part the employee pays. The employer also pays a portion - another $1,600 per month.

(This is, of course, part of the employee's overall compensation package; but most Americans don't think of it as such, as the expense circumvents their paycheck. Just one of the many ways by which the true cost of private health insurance is kept opaque.)

So really, our hypothetical mid-level employee receives $79,200 per year in compensation; of which a minimum of 33% goes to healthcare (and as much as 42% if you actually need to exercise said healthcare).

(Now to be fair: a family health plan would cover our employee's partner; so their contribution of income would be 0%. Assuming that they earn a similar salary however, you are still looking at an average cost of between 16.5% and 21% for each partner.)

...

The American healthcare system is a travesty; one where health insurers and (other various middlemen) demand an enormous portion of American income, while interfering with (and frequently preventing) access to care.

The simple reality is that private industry will, in any given context, prioritize profit; and that in certain sectors of service, this will place the needs of industry in direct conflict with those in need of said service.

Put another way: to make a dollar of profit in the healthcare industry, you must take it from someone that has paid for and needs healthcare; and then you must choose to deny said healthcare, and keep it for yourself. It is the vampiric exploitation of a group of people particularly unequipped to fight back.

The people of the UK should seek to defend, tooth and nail, any and every attempt to not only privatize the NHS in general, but especially at the hands of the same US health insurers that have so successfully raised costs and lowered health outcomes.

The NHS will last as long as there are folk left to fight for it” – Aneurin Bevan

I’m no fan of Keir Starmer or Rishi Sunak. Sunak is completely out of touch with ordinary people and Starmer will promise just about anything to get himself into power and then break those promise when it suits him.  However when it comes to the future of the NHS I feel it will be safer under a Labour government than one run by free market, neo-liberal Tories.

From a purely selfish perspective  - something the Conservative Party excels at - the NHS saves all of us a small fortune. When your child needs medical care it is free at the point of use; when your parents need medical care it is free at the point of use; and when YOU need medical care it is free at the point of use.

Of course we pay for this through taxes and national insurance contributions but the clue is in the phrase “national insurance”. Medical treatment in Britain, is, at the moment, paid for through collective funding. It is a system based on community, social responsibility, and the old fashioned concept of caring for your neighbour. . Aneurin  Bevan, the "Father of the NHS” said:

“No society can legitimately call itself civilized if a sick person is denied medical aid because of lack of means."

It is a sad fact that Conservative Party members, many of them rich individuals who can afford private medical treatment, have been undermining the NHS because of their unwavering adherence to the ideological belief that all things run by private enterprise are good while all public sector institutions are bad. . The Tory’s will, of course deny this, claiming the NHS is save in their hands and that they have no plans to privatise it.

 Lets look at the facts.

Despite Prime Minister David Cameron promising there would be no cuts to the NHS this was the headline in the Daily Mirror when the Conservatives took over from Labour in 2012.

“David Cameron cuts NHS spending by £500million.” (06/11/12)

Two years later and we have this headline from the Guardian:

“David Cameron accused of hypocrisy over £1.4bn ‘raid’ on NHS funding." (06/07/2012)

By 2014 NHS staff were on strike because of the Tory government refused to give them a 1% pay rise. Rows over poor pay and under-funding continue to this day.

While Jeremy Hunt was Health Secretary patient experience and staff moral took a dramatic turn for the worse. Despite presenting himself as a “champion of patient safety”, targets were missed, waiting times increased, and the very fabric of some hospitals began to crumble, leading to Hunt being labelled “the man who ruined the NHS”. (Open Democracy: 08/07/22)

In 2016 The Independent ran this headline:

“Jeremy Hunt co-authored book calling for NHS to be replaced with private insurance.” (10/02/2016)

Is it any wonder the NHS has been seriously under-funded and run down when the man in charge was an advocate of private medical health insurance? Millionaires like Cameron (£40m) Hunt (£15m) and Sunak (£651m) can afford to pay for expensive medical care but the rest of us are not so fortunate.

This brings me back to the purely selfish reason we should vote for the party most likely to protect the NHS. Below are some AVERAGE costs for private medical procedures and treatments in the USA provided by Statistica 2021

Heart valve replacement…….$170,000     £133,390

Heart bypass………………….......$123,000     £96,518

Cornea (per eye) ……………......$17,000       £13,339

IVF treatments ………………......$15,400      £12,084

Hysterectomy ………………….....$5200          £4,080

In addition, Americans have to pay for their stay in hospital. This fee is on top of medical treatment costs. According to Debt.org (30/11/23) the price for the average stay in hospital of 4.6 days is $13,262. (£10,406)

Whatever your political leanings, the protection and restoration of the NHS should take precedent over all other electoral considerations because we will ALL need medical treatment at some stage in our lives be that as a child or as an adult.

We know the Tory mantra "private sector good public sector bad” just doesn’t live up to reality: we only have to look at our polluted waterways to realise this. Whether Keir Starmer would be any better at protecting the NHS from profit motivated private companies is a moot point.

With headlines like:

“Can Wes Streeting’s private sector plans save the NHS?” (Guardian: 14/04/24)

and

“Labour’s Wes Streeting just used the SUN to talk up NHS privatisation” (Canary: 08/04/24)

we cannot rely on the Labour Party leadership to protect the NHS from the profiteering private sector, not least because Wes Streeting has been paid £175,000 from donors linked to private health firms. (National: 14/04/24) There is no such thing as a free lunch so one doesn’t have to wonder to hard what these “donors” might want in return for their money!

Even so, I feel there are those within the Labour Party who would work very hard to stop the leadership of the party from running down the NHS to the point of collapse, as is the Tory plan, so with great reservation I will be voting Labour in the coming elections.

Save Our NHS

Strange bug

I had a very strange bug today. We have a web application that makes extensive use jQuery and a third-party JavaScript library to serve up some tasty-looking data grids.

In the grids are some date columns, which are to be formatted "MM/dd/yyyy" (i.e. "02/24/2021").

Things looked great on my local machine. They also looked great in our development environment. When published to production however, these dates suddenly reverted to ISO 8061 format ("2021-02-24T00:00:00").

Standard practice is, of course, to try and determine what key differences exist between these three locales (even though ostensibly there shouldn't be any).

Well... The libraries are being served up externally, so it's not that. The grid configuration is the same; so rule that out. The data is identical.

The only difference is that the local and development versions are compiled for debug, and the production version is compiled for release.

And lo! What do you know - that was the critical difference.

It's worth stressing here though: that's crazy. It would be like a car refusing to start because you added a bumper sticker. At no point, logically, should the compilation mode affect what's going on with the front end.

And yet here we are...

Fever dreams

Between stress and a good old-fashioned rhinovirus, I've been having a lot of strange dreams; last night was no exception.

First, I dreamt that an Italian man was attempting to seduce me. (I'm not sure why my fevered brain opted for a Mediterranean origin - perhaps because I knew an incorrigible duo of Italian Lotharios in my younger years?)

Naturally, I rebuffed him - I'm a married woman!

Second, I dreamt that I was hurriedly pacing an unfamiliar street, with only an undersized towel to hide my modesty. I was of course then approached by several men with the intent to perpetrate a robbery at a gunpoint. (Most unpleasant stuff.)

Interestingly however: in both instances, I was incredibly aware that (a) I was trans, and (b) in the dreams themselves, fully physically transitioned (to the point that the aforementioned Casanova was mistakenly under the impression that I was cis).

Until now, my dreams have generally been modeled on my former identity and appearance; and it is both fascinating, and long overdue, to see them finally catch up!

More good things

Last night, for the fourth time in as many weeks, I was able to provide a compassionate ear for someone that desperately needed to be heard.

Now more than ever, the world needs kindness; and I’m so glad that I was able to make my own small contribution in this regard.

Professional wrestling is a strange blend of fact and fiction; a form of theater in which the characters are extensions of the athletes that portray them. Fans are encouraged to participate in the performance; to display the sort of passion and vitriol normally reserved for world sporting events.

To be clear, however: it is a performance; and there should be no room for the kind of fans that cannot distinguish between, say, booing a villainous character, and hurling the kind of abuse that leaves performers and fellow attendees deeply disquieted.

I have attended AEW / ROH events; and they are upfront about their expectations regarding fan conduct, and the consequences of violating said expectations (up to and including immediate ejection from the arena).

However:

At one such event, I had the displeasure of being seated next to a small cadre of inebriated fans that kept up a continuous stream of obnoxious, disrespectful, and at times, highly offensive chants for the entire duration of the show.

In wrestling parlance, these fans were attempting to 'get themselves over'; a phenomenon that could be understood as similar to heckling in that a portion of the audience has decided that they, in fact, should be the focus of the show.

(And - also much like heckling - neither those performing, or those also in attendance, care for this behavior.)

Having grown weary of the group and their incessant personal grandstanding, I asked arena security to intervene - who promptly did no such thing. The chants were also sufficiently loud that Christopher Daniels - then sitting at the commentator's desk - signaled for these fans to desist (which, inevitably, they did not).

I am deeply sorry that Skye Blue - one of AEW's quickly-rising homegrown talents - found herself in the position of suffering a tirade of abusive comments from a fan with zero comprehension of appropriate conduct.

However, I am more frustrated that the man in question was not removed until the match had concluded.

I am not sure as to why the delay; and when in doubt, try to apply Hanlon's Razor (i.e. inaction as the result of mismanagement; rather than some sort of malicious intent).

Whatever the case may be: while AEW has the right idea regarding their policy of fan conduct, they need to be a great deal swifter in applying it.

Skye Blue is such a lovely lovely wrestler its so sad she had to go through this

i dont understand why theres still people like this in 2024 :(

Escalator

While attending CONvergence, my friend and I needed to translate from one floor to another. Fortuitously, the venue had built an efficient escalator system for just this purpose.

As we escalated, a teenage girl (I presume; pronouns were not established) followed behind me. "I like your bag", she said; looking at all the little Mikus on the flap. There was a pause, and then she added, "I like your pins".

There are four pins on the rear of the bag - Amaterasu of Ōkami fame; one that reads "Hormone Therapy Club" and another, "Protect Trans Kids". (The fourth, less controversially, exclaims "Mom Vibes".)

"I wish the kids at school would stop calling me the f-slur". She said this with such quiet sadness in her voice. I didn't know what to say; couldn't say anything. It broke my heart.

We both stopped off at the next floor, and turned in opposite directions. I turned back. "Hey!" I yelled. "It will get better, okay? It will get better." That's the best I could manage.

I hope, wherever she is now, she's happy.

Recital

Eight weeks ago I had my first singing recital. As I have previously documented, I have been working uphill against the effects of a past cold; which have interfered heavily in my ability to sing. I then proceeding to catch yet another cold, which incited a flare-up of symptoms.

On the other side - I am, factually-speaking, a baritone; trying to sing like an alto. It's challenging in the extreme.

Every day of the week, any time the opportunity has presented itself, I've been practicing. I didn't feel confident per se; but I was a lot better of for doing so than where I started.

I was singing a version of "You Are My Sunshine", which is a song I learned from my spouse and one that holds great personal significance. There are three verses; the last of which contains a particularly high note. This had been the focus of much of my practice.

We arrived, my spouse and I, at the venue - a local church. My instructor was there to meet me, along with two teenage students - one obviously rather shy; the other bubbly. We did some warm-up exercises in a side room and wished each other good luck.

the student body of my music school is mostly kids; and so the recital was a fairly low-stakes affair - lots of beginners, stumbling along as best as they could. The audience of friends and family members were all very polite, and applauded each performer in turn.

Shy Girl acquitted herself well. Bubbly Girl rendered "Hallelujah"; spectacularly so. And then it was my turn.

There is anecdotal evidence suggesting that many MtF individuals experience issues processing their emotions; and that HRT resolves this problem.

This was certainly the case for me. An interesting offshoot of this is, in my prior life, I suffered little to no anxiety when it came to public speaking. The idea of stage fright was foreign to me.

I have spoken previously about a coming-out presentation I gave at my workplace. I did not mention how incredibly and uncharacteristically nervous I was at the time.

Likewise, I found my heart racing as I stepped onto the stage. I tried to slow my breathing, to no avail. My instructor began cued me in on the piano; and I began to sing. The first verse went well; the second was okay. The third, I hit the high note; but silently cursed as I forgot to breathe and effectively ran out of air moving into the next line.

The audience stared back, and there was a pause; and then they very politely clapped. It felt performative.

I returned to my seat, and tried desperately to hold back tears as the last few performers finished out their own pieces. The recital ended; we talked to my instructor for a few moments, and one of the staff told me "You did great!" on the way out.

We went home. I immediately went to the bedroom, closed the door, and sat in the void between the wall and bed that serves as my nest of safety. Despite my better judgement, I looked up the show's live stream and fast-forwarded to my song.

It was heartbreaking. My barrelled torso and broad shoulders were bursting out of my flower-pattern dress; my feet were planted far too firmly apart. I could hear the chest resonance in my voice and worst of all, the high note was wildly off-key.

I didn't see Lauren. I saw Lawrence.

I cried for an hour; big, heaving, sobs. And then I called my friend and talked to her for a while. It helped; but the damage was done.

There was a singing lesson scheduled the following week, with a very nice substitute. I explained that I wasn't able to sing, and played the piano instead. She was kind. Afterwards I spoke with the school's owner, and asked him to take down the recording of the show.

I'm glad that I participated in the recital. I am. I put myself out there for all the world to see, despite the overwhelming terror of doing so. I might not be the singer I want to be, and I might not pass to the extent I wish I did; but no-one can doubt my courage.

There is a positive coda in all of this. When I did chance to reconnect with my instructor again, she had a message to convey from bubbly girl. She wanted to ask the "Sunshine Girl" where she had found her beautiful dress.

Cold: addendum 2

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the phlegm from the damned cold I had six weeks ago is still present and still interfering in my singing practice. And now there’s a new issue: when I hit that A4 / B4 danger zone, now my voice cracks! I thought the weird Chewbacca noise was bad...

There’s not much to do but persist; but it feels like a significant portion of my lessons to date have consisted of trying to work around this issue and it’s really, really beginning to wear on me!

Shuffle Meme - Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Now, the music from my library that I’ve actually taken the time to clean up...

Groove

Turbo Killer Carpenter Brut - TRIOLOGY Literally the perfect horror-themed synthwave song, and with an amazing accompanying video. I have very happy memories of racing through the hills of Pennsylvania with the top down and this blasting at full volume...

Sun, Rain And Fire Dee Mac - Eve Of Destruction I’ve mentioned Dee Mac before - not only is she a tremendously talented genre-bending artist; she’s also worked incredibly hard to evolve her vocal style - and it shows!

i ‘ m  e v e r y t h i n g  y o u ‘ v e  e v e r  w a n t e d ImCoPav - H E N T A I  M I X T A P E I’m not the biggest vaporwave / Eccojams fan; but I unapologetically love this entire, absurd album.

Variation IX. Nimrod Holst - Variations On An Original Theme, Op. 36 The crown jewel of The Enigma Variations; a majestic tribute to overcoming adversity.

What Have You Been Living For IRIS - Underground Arts, 09.07.19 In celebration of their 20th anniversary, all three members of the group assembled for a show studded with highlights - amongst them, this spectacular rework of a song originally destined for the cutting room floor.

Retro Reverb Records Festival, Live On Nightride.FM Let 'Em Riot It was this performance that sold me on the work of LA native Alan Oakes; combing uplifting melodies with a wistful look into the past.

スターヴァージン サクラ SAKURA-LEE - Star Virgin II A stand-out in the world of anime-themed future funk; leaning into the utter ridiculousness where her fellow artists fear to tread.

Ben Kedim Yatağım (ft. Rob Dougan) Sezen Aksu - Biraz Pop Biraz Sezen Dougan disappeared for almost a decade and a half to run a vineyard; and celebrated his return in this collaboration with Sezen Aksu, the Madonna of Turkey.

I’ve No More F***s To Give Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. - Awkward Encounters While Walking My Dog The perfect antidote to a bad day; and with such delightful wordplay to boot! (There’s also a fantastic little live performance.)

Stand Alone (Peter Vanek Remix) We Were Strangers A delicate remix of an already haunting slice of Americana.

On to Part 3...

There's a point of discussion that comes up periodically in transgender advocacy circles. To paraphrase:

Do you love transgender people? Or do you hate transphobes?

That is to say: those that claim allyship with the transgender community should be motivated by love; for love begets help and support.

Conversely: those that are motivated by hate will seek, first and foremost, to attack others. While there is a time and place for opposing transphobia (violently so, even), this cannot be the preeminent response to any and all issues.

...

Mat Ward's tenure as a named codex author drew mixed responses. His overhaul of Necron lore, for instance, is generally considered a positive turning point for the faction. (His heavy-handed promotion of the Ultramarines, less so.)

If you are motivated by a love of the Warhammer: 40,000 game and setting, then you might wish that some of Mat Ward's more controversial contributions be corrected. As his work was published in what is now the distant past, it is also likely that your wish has already been granted.

As such, it does not make sense to expend energy on what is effectively now a non-issue.

If you are motivated by hate, however, then you might perceive Mat Ward's failings as forever unforgivable; his mockery and harassment not merely permissible, but necessary; and his departure from Games Workshop, a hard-won victory.

...

In this respect, @ladymirdan's 'Mat Ward Test' is an excellent barometer of an individual's motivations; and whether they are rooted in a love for the hobby, or hate in search of a purportedly acceptable target.

With this in mind:

I strive to research an issue prior to rendering judgement. In this particular instance (the introduction of female Custodes), I made a point of leafing through the blogs of those most vocally opposed, looking to understand their motives and character.

Time and again, I came across posts in which these people openly delighted in the heartless ridicule of others; justified upon the flimsiest of pretexts.

They do not love Warhammer: 40,000; but rather, are simply seeking excuses to exercise their hatred - of which Mat Ward, and now those championing Custodian Calladyce Taurovalia Kesh, have proven aptly suitable victims.

So I didn't take my own advice and started playing chess with the pigeons.

And my ultimate litmus test for a 40k player once again proved to work. I didnt even have to bring it up (they alway do that themselves).

And that is their opinion on Mat Ward.

This test has never failed me. He is the alt-right 40k boogieman, they haaaate him with a passion for some reason, but they never know anything about him. He has literally written the most popular characters in all of 40k and is responsible for a shit ton of 40k computer games and he incidentally is the reason why they don't print the name of the writer (guess the fuck why. *hint they send Ward actual death threats for changing the lore).

It has gotten to a point that I just block people talking shit about Ward after one warning. Because people who have this opinion has gotten it somewhere. Usually from hanging out with guys like this who think representation ruins the hobby.

I still have to make that “Why people are wrong about Mat Ward and he deserves better”-post/vid.