Dee Mac Released Her New Album Today. It’s Amazing. She’s Amazing! What Are You Waiting For? Go Listen

Malapropism

Recently my singing instructor has had me practicing runs (i.e. moving up and down notes within a single sung word). It's a lot of fun, and especially welcome given that it allows me to practice while working around the lingering effects of the cold I caught six months ago.

My instructor is all about helping me understand precisely which parts of my vocal system I'm engaging at any particular time; and that end she asked me: "When you are singing this run, where do you feel it?"

"Kind of... at the back of my throat?" I answered.

"Ah, okay. So you feel it in your..." - and I saw the gears whirring - "...vulva"?

At that point our eyes met; and we both burst into laughter.

"Uvula! I meant uvula!" she yelled.

Now my instructor can't wait to share this particular mix-up with her whole family; and I get to tell people that there are apparently even more esoteric singing techniques than I was originally aware!

Ōkami

When my daughter was younger, we started the habit of co-playing video games. I would be in charge of the controller, and she would direct me. These are some of my fondest memories.

One of the games we played through was Ōkami; which is an absolute (but often overlooked) masterpiece. (For the uninitiated: you play the part of Amaterasu, a white wolf (and god); and her traveling companion Issun, a tiny artist. The selling point of the series is the latter’s ability to paint on-screen, triggering the former’s supernatural powers to solve puzzles and defeat enemies.)

The game was recently re-released on the Switch, and we sat down together last night to play it. In a charming reversal of earlier days however; now my daughter holds the controller and I advise.

When playing games herself, she’s generally adhered to more casual fair. (I really want to stress that there’s nothing wrong with this. Deus Ex: Human Revolution had an excellent metaphor for this approach: it has no “Easy” mode, only “Give Me A Story”.)

That changed a couple of years ago when she fell in love with Hollow Knight; and she’s been seeking out greater challenges ever since. Ōkami is the latest such iteration; and I could not be prouder of her.

Dose two

Well; three weeks later, and we got our second COVID vaccine doses.

Although I wish this was not the case, I went from zero to full-on flashback in bout twenty minutes; and expect to remain in some variation of that mindset for the next few days.

I would like to stress for the new reader: this is not a side effect of the vaccine, and I strongly recommend that (where medically possible) everyone get it. This is purely my past history interacting with current events.

On the bright side, in a little over two weeks I will start treatment with a new EMDR therapist. I am very much hoping that goes a long way towards bringing these sorts of undesirable episodes under control.

There's a point of discussion that comes up periodically in transgender advocacy circles. To paraphrase:

Do you love transgender people? Or do you hate transphobes?

That is to say: those that claim allyship with the transgender community should be motivated by love; for love begets help and support.

Conversely: those that are motivated by hate will seek, first and foremost, to attack others. While there is a time and place for opposing transphobia (violently so, even), this cannot be the preeminent response to any and all issues.

...

Mat Ward's tenure as a named codex author drew mixed responses. His overhaul of Necron lore, for instance, is generally considered a positive turning point for the faction. (His heavy-handed promotion of the Ultramarines, less so.)

If you are motivated by a love of the Warhammer: 40,000 game and setting, then you might wish that some of Mat Ward's more controversial contributions be corrected. As his work was published in what is now the distant past, it is also likely that your wish has already been granted.

As such, it does not make sense to expend energy on what is effectively now a non-issue.

If you are motivated by hate, however, then you might perceive Mat Ward's failings as forever unforgivable; his mockery and harassment not merely permissible, but necessary; and his departure from Games Workshop, a hard-won victory.

...

In this respect, @ladymirdan's 'Mat Ward Test' is an excellent barometer of an individual's motivations; and whether they are rooted in a love for the hobby, or hate in search of a purportedly acceptable target.

With this in mind:

I strive to research an issue prior to rendering judgement. In this particular instance (the introduction of female Custodes), I made a point of leafing through the blogs of those most vocally opposed, looking to understand their motives and character.

Time and again, I came across posts in which these people openly delighted in the heartless ridicule of others; justified upon the flimsiest of pretexts.

They do not love Warhammer: 40,000; but rather, are simply seeking excuses to exercise their hatred - of which Mat Ward, and now those championing Custodian Calladyce Taurovalia Kesh, have proven aptly suitable victims.

So I didn't take my own advice and started playing chess with the pigeons.

And my ultimate litmus test for a 40k player once again proved to work. I didnt even have to bring it up (they alway do that themselves).

And that is their opinion on Mat Ward.

This test has never failed me. He is the alt-right 40k boogieman, they haaaate him with a passion for some reason, but they never know anything about him. He has literally written the most popular characters in all of 40k and is responsible for a shit ton of 40k computer games and he incidentally is the reason why they don't print the name of the writer (guess the fuck why. *hint they send Ward actual death threats for changing the lore).

It has gotten to a point that I just block people talking shit about Ward after one warning. Because people who have this opinion has gotten it somewhere. Usually from hanging out with guys like this who think representation ruins the hobby.

I still have to make that “Why people are wrong about Mat Ward and he deserves better”-post/vid.

In an ideal world, we would all have access to the healthcare - especially of the life-saving variety - that we need. Unfortunately, this is not the case; and until such a time as we can make it so, all we have to rely upon for assistance is one another.

If you are able to, please consider donating to Sera's fundraiser; every contribution helps.

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.

I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand. This post is a highly abridged version of the content in the link, the unabridged and unedited version is available below the Read More cut ❤

If you have been following me for a while, you are familiar with my struggle and saw me talking about it throughout the years. There are no other options or help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left. I'm afraid to my core, I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.

If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.

A warm thank you to @transmechanicus , the kind soul who made this possible. I would be lost and doomed without your help. Erika did not believe thank yous were necessary, but they are. Attempting to save a human being's life is no small act. Whether it succeeds or fail, no thank yous will ever be enough. Even as the pain consumes my body, I am able to feel hope thanks to this. There are no words invented to express this level of thanks, but if I get to live, I will search for it.

(Please don't put tags on this unless it is to actually talk or comment something. As always, kind words are appreciated.)

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Sera Access Life-Saving Treatments, organized by Erika Gordon

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes … Erika Gordon needs your support for Help Sera Access Life

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.

I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. The system, I feel, is indifferent to my situation. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand.

If you are reading this, you are one of the few people who can help save my life. A single dollar is enough to make a tremendous difference. There is no other options or source of help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left.

The goal is a series of treatments and challenging surgeries that will remove small metal shards near vital organs and bones in my body. It is categorized as severe internal injuries secondary to a traumatic event. As medical professionals have put it, "the lack of immediate surgical intervention necessitates a comprehensive, multidisciplinary treatment approach aimed at mitigating the risk of disease progression and optimizing long-term outcomes."

My injuries are from a car accident which injured me immensely and took the lives of my two closest friends in the world. This page does not ask for the full amount of the procedures and treatments, since it is a very large sum of money that cannot be reached that quickly. The page only asks for enough to get me started in the process and access proper vital treatments in countries of the european union. Adding time to the clock, giving me a chance to fight this battle and launching an important part of the process towards saving my life.

I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. You may be but a few clicks away from truly helping someone who desperately needs it. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.

If this fails to reach its goal, I will die. I'm afraid and I need your help. I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, you are the only chance I have left. Don't underestimate the difference a dollar can make, your dollar could be the one dollar we come short of. The expenses covered by this amount ranges from the medical consultations, medical treatments, surgeries and, of course, accessing said treatment, reaching the places where I need to go. I will have a true chance at fighting for the remaining amount myself.

As for cheaper alternatives, it is mainly temporary fixes that would not fix the issue and waitlists that I would die waiting on years before my turn comes. This is it, this is the only way I have that provides the care I need, in the timeframe I need it, with a success rate that gives me a chance to live.

Thank you for reading this and for persevering in the brutal system we all live under. If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. May we all make it and may we all have the softest of epilogues. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.

I would like to thank Erika, a dear friend who has made this possible at all. Without her, I would be lost. I would also like to thank immensely Milica, who has been on this journey with me for so many years, almost since the beginning. Her medical knowledge and her kind heart, her support and dedication, have allowed me to survive long enough to get to this point. I would not be here still without her. I would like to thank the amazing and loving Dana, who has been here during the good days as much as the bad days. She has been a beacon preventing me from giving up hope. I would have abandonned before getting to this point had she not been there for me. And thank you to Oli, who has been my champion, it is thanks to his help that I can move around where I need to go. A great support and a great friend. I would like to also thank Bruna, a kind heart who has never failed to cheer me on, even when her life was not perfect, she never stopped cheering and supporting me.

I would also like to thank my tumblr mutuals, you know who you are, those who have been in my DMs offering me your kindness, laughter and support in these dark times. Your help has also saved me more than once. You are true blessings. Thank you for never giving up hope during the days I felt like doing so.

You have all carried the torch during the days I couldn't, and for that, I can never thank you enough. I have lived and survived because of you, your help in every form has made a difference in the world. I am ready to fight for my life, and whether I reach my goal and live, or fail and die, know that none of it was wasted. You have all made me a better person and that is the mark of true love transpiring from one person to the next. Thank you for believing in me when I could not. I love you all.

I went the injectable route at the advice of a friend; and I always wanted to share my knowledge on this subject with others. Talk about perfect timing, too - it’s injection day!

Disclaimer: there’s a lot of room for variation in terms of what’s injected, how it’s injected, etc.; be sure to ask for and follow the instructions of your provider.

Medications

I inject 1ml of 5mg/ml Estradiol Cypionate (brand name: “Depo-Estradiol”), every two weeks; and 1ml of 150mg/ml Medroxy-Progesterone Acetate (brand name: “Depo-Provera”) every ninety days.

Keep a diary of your injections; and in particular the manufacturer, lot, expiration, and serial number of every medication (all of which will be clearly printed on the packaging). This information can be helpful when identifying issues.

Vials

Both medications come in little glass vials. There’s a sterile plastic cap on top (which you break off); and underneath, a rubber seal designed to prevent air from entering the vial.

The Progesterone comes in a single-use vial, containing just one dose; you dispose of the vial afterwards. The Estradiol comes in a multi-use vial, containing five doses; you keep the vial for next time.

Note: there is a risk that multi-use vials can become contaminated with bacteria. Be sure to follow the injection process carefully; maintain sterility; and store your medication in an appropriate location and at the correct temperature, per the instructions.

In medical settings, multi-use vials are good for 30 days after opening; at which point they are disposed of. In my case, I’m keeping the vial for 52 days. I wouldn’t recommend pushing too far past that, as the longer the vial is in use, the higher the risk of contamination.

Injectable supplies

Each injection requires the following:

A syringe,

A large needle (mine are 18g, 1.5′ long, and pink),

A small needle (likewise, 25g, 1′ long, and light blue),

Two alcohol pads,

A Band-Aid (mine has llamas on it)!

Normally you’ll be proscribed a syringe with one of the needles already attached; and the other needle by itself. Alcohol pads and Band-Aids can be purchased from your local pharmacy.

Needles

During the injection process, you will need to switch the needle attached to the syringe. The syringes I use feature a “Luer-Lock” connection, which means they screw on and off.

Each needle comes with a protective plastic cap; you always want the cap on the needle when attaching or removing it from the syringe. (Safety aside, the needles are intentionally designed to make them difficult to add or remove without the cap attached.)

There’s a reason there are two needles: when you need to suck fluid into the syringe, it’s very difficult if the needle is too small. (This is why blood draw needles tend to be on the bigger side.) When you need to squirt fluid out of the needle, however, the size doesn’t matter as much. (Plus: smaller needles cause less discomfort when poking people!)

So the big needle is going to be what you use to draw your medication; and the small needle is what you use to inject it. (When I started my regimen, I asked my provider if a nurse could show me what to do. I wasn’t aware at the time that there were different needles involved; so when I saw the big needle, I was terrified!)

Drawing the medication

First things first: wash your hands! (At every step, you want to prevent the possibility of germs getting into your supplies or worse, into you!)

Take your vial, remove and discard the plastic cap, and clean the surface of the rubber seal with an alcohol pad. (This prevents contaminants from being carried into the vial.)

Next, you attach the large needle to the syringe, and withdraw the plunger so that it contains the same amount of air as the medication you wish to withdraw. (In my case, 1ml.) The plunger will have a rubber seal that meets the inside of the syringe surface; the top of the seal is what you will be measuring against.

Hold the vial level, and with the syringe pointing down, insert the needle through the rubber seal of the vial. Now, carefully turn everything upside down: you should have the syringe pointing up, and the vial pointing down (with the medication pooling around the seal).

Inject the air in the syringe into the empty space in the top of the vial; this will help keep the pressure in the vial constant. Submerge the needle tip in the medication, and gently draw it into the syringe.

It’s normal to have some air left in the syringe; or to accidentally draw some in from the vial. You can squirt some medication back into the syringe to remove the air bubbles; or tap the syringe to shake them free. Tiny air bubbles are normal and harmless; but you don’t want a large bubble in there!

When finished, withdraw the needle from the vial smoothly and quickly. (This is a non-issue with thicker medications, such as Estradiol; but with a thinner medication - such as Progesterone - withdrawing the needle slowly can cause a small amount of medication to squirt out of the vial.)

Preparing the injection

Remove the large needle from the syringe and replace it with the small one. Push the plunger ever so slightly; if you see a tiny drop of medication at the end of the small syringe; this confirms that there’s no air remaining.

You should now have a filled syringe, ready to go!

These injections are intramuscular; that is to say, the goal is to create a 'depot’ (i.e. little bubble) of the medication in a muscle. This is exactly the same as most vaccinations; except they are normally delivered in the deltoid muscle of the arm, whereas these injections will be delivered to the vastus lateralis muscle in the upper thigh.

(Location is determined by a number of factors; primarily, the size of the depot being created. Vaccinations tend to involve very small amounts of fluid; and so it is more convenient to inject them into the likewise smaller deltoid.)

Imagine the top of your thigh is divided horizontally into three sections, and you can see the dividing lines. The line nearest your body is the target. It is recommended that you rotate your injection site with every shot. My rotation schedule looks like this:

Outside of the left thigh,

Outside of the right thigh,

Middle of the left thigh,

Middle of the right thigh,

Inside of the left thigh,

Inside of the right thigh.

Keep in mind that some spots are more awkward to access than others. (Today’s injection was in the outside right thigh; as I’m left-handed, having to reach across my body is a nuisance.)

Once you know where the injection will be going, clean the area with your other alcohol pad. Give it some time for the alcohol on your skin to evaporate. (You can fan air over the skin to speed up this process.)

If there is still alcohol on your skin when you perform the injection, it will be carried into your tissue and create a burning sensation. This is not dangerous; but it is unpleasant and something you will want to avoid.

Inserting the needle

Everything is ready! (Also, there are no images for this part; I needed both hands here for what I was doing.)

Sit on a chair or similar object, so you can your thighs are horizontal and your lower legs vertical. Find a position where your muscles are relaxed. (Tense muscle tissue is harder to penetrate; it won’t stop you from completing the injection, but it can cause more discomfort.)

Take the syringe in your dominant hand, and hold it like a throwing dart. With your other hand, pull the skin of your thigh taut, towards your knee. (This is the “Z-Track” method - it helps to prevent your medication from leaking back out of the injection site.) Take care not to place your fingers on the area you just cleaned.

Now, the part that gets people: you have to stick the needle in your thigh. Understandably, there is fear that this will hurt. It’s okay if you need a minute to work up the courage! Try to keep in mind that if you do everything right, discomfort should be minimal.

When you are ready: stick the needle in, quickly and smoothly, at a 90º angle.

Do not hesitate. (I totally get it - but if the needle doesn’t fully insert, you’re either going to have to push it the rest of the way, or remove it and try again. The faster and more confidently you insert the needle, the less you will feel it!)

Don’t worry about it going too far in. There’s a plastic nub at the end of the needle, designed specifically to prevent this from happening.

If everything has gone to plan, then the needle should be fully inserted in the thigh, and no longer visible. You can now remove the hand holding your skin taut. (This can feel a little weird at first, as the underlying tissue is trying to move back into position against the needle.)

Delivering the medication

With one hand, hold the tip of the syringe steady against your skin (so that you don’t accidentally withdraw the needle). With the other, slowly depress the plunger, injecting the medication into your muscle.

How slow? Slow. Nursing guidelines recommend ten seconds per 1ml of fluid injected. I normally double that. (Also: as aforementioned, Estradiol is frequently delivered in an oil-based medium, which makes it thicker. Thicker fluids take longer - and more effort - to push through a small needle. When in doubt, go slower.)

Cleanup

Once the medication is fully delivered, carefully remove the needle, and place the cap back on. You might see a drop of either medication or blood at the injection site; this is normal. Cover with a Band-Aid. You’re done!

Place both of your capped needles in a solid container. (I use an old prescription bottle.) This way, when you dispose of them, there’s no danger of someone getting poked by a used needle.

All other supplies should be disposed of (barring the aforementioned multi-use vials). Tempting though it might be to save time and money, do not reuse syringes or needles. (This is just asking for an infection!)

Aftercare

It’s normal for the injection site to be sore the next day (as if you had an invisible bruise). This is because the act of creating the bubble of medication in the muscle does a small amount of damage.

It’s not normal for the site to swell; turn red; itch; or become hot to the touch. These are signs of an infection. Such infections are easy to treat (usually with a course of antibiotics); but it’s important to seek medical attention quickly, as they can cause serious complications if left unattended. (This is especially true of the red patch grows rapidly!)

What can go wrong?

I’m not going to lie: lots of things.

A couple of times, inserting the needle has triggered a leg spasm. This doesn’t hurt; it just feels really, really weird.

Occasionally I will accidentally hit a blood vessel with the needle. (This is unavoidable; you can’t see them from the surface.) This doesn’t pose an issue other than being mildly painful.

I once hit a nerve the same way. The pain from doing so left me in tears. (I want to stress however, that this happened once in fifty-seven shots.)

There was a syringe with a defective plunger that wouldn’t depress the whole way. That was frustrating; but simply meant I had to start over and go again.

Likewise, I had a friend whose needle detached from the syringe while it was still in her thigh. Obviously, an upsetting scenario; but one that can be avoided by ensuring that the needles are firmly locked into place prior to use.

If you have questions or issues, and need help - be sure to ask to talk to a nurse at your provider’s office! They spend a lot of time poking people in various ways, and have a wealth of expertise to offer.

Another really resource is trans men! The amount of information they’ve gathered on the analogous act of injecting Testosterone is staggering! When I run into a problem I’ve never seen before, they are my first port of call.

What can go right?

If you perfect your technique and can overcome the mental hurdle of sticking a needle in yourself, the process can be quick and discomfort-free!

On the science side: different methods of administering Estradiol have corresponding levels of bioavailability (i.e. how much of the Estradiol actually ends up in your system and doing what it’s supposed to instead of, say, accidentally being digested). Of these, intramuscular injection has the highest degree of bioavailability .

Additionally, the hormone levels of cis women are not static; there’s a complex interplay at work where they rise and fall. Injecting Estradiol every two weeks more closely resembles this cycle than taking the same amount of medication every day.

A final plus: you only have to remember to take your medication fortnightly!

In conclusion

I hope this is helpful to every trans woman thinking about going down the injectable rabbit hole. It can be rather daunting; but if you’re willing to invest the time and effort, it can be incredible rewarding!

why the fuck did I willingly switch to injectable estrogen im fucking terrified of needles

Interview

So; a funny thing happened at work today!

We're trying to hire in a junior developer. My boss is great at interviewing; but software development is outside of his area of expertise (he's more of a network / infrastructure guy), so he really wanted my input on this.

I straight-up told him: "You need another me; a generalist that can do everything from front-end to back-end, and more importantly, can figure out how to do things they have no prior experience with".

Fast-forward: we have a candidate coming in for an in-person interview. Two items peak my interest:

She's female. (This absolutely shouldn't be remarkable; but unfortunately, there is still a very, very heavy gender imbalance in the software world.)

Her name was simultaneously contemporary and fashionable, yet rare.

This really made me wonder... And my suspicions were confirmed when I entered our conference room and saw that she had bright blue hair.

I can only wonder what her thought process was - how intimidating it must be to walk into a prospective job interview as a trans woman, only for one of the interviewers to be introduced.... as a trans woman.

It was a good interview. Afterwards I told my boss: "When I say you need another me, I didn't mean literally"!

The final decision isn't mine to make; but part of me really hopes that she gets the job. I see a lot of my younger self in her (outside of the obvious parallels); and I would love to be able to mentor a neophyte developer, in much the same way that I was tutored by my friend and colleague.

Dysphoria

After receiving our second COVID vaccine doses, my spouse, daughter and I all experienced side effects. Now, there isn’t an objective way to measure a person’s discomfort; but subjectively, it appears that I had a better time of things than they did.

Of course, this might not be accurate. I may be female now, but the majority of my life was spent operating under the rule of male gender norms. One such unspoken rule was that bearing one’s discomfort stoically was admirable, and complaining unseemly; and I internalized that.

(It is therefore entirely possible that we experienced equal degrees of malaise; but I sought to downplay mine.)

There is also a growing body of evidence to suggest that the side-effects are hitting XX chromosome-holders harder - possibly resulting from some kind of interaction between estrogen and the immune system.

(Alas, I could not test this theory as I was almost at the end of my estradiol cycle when we got our booster shots; and even then, my cycle only superficially emulates the far more complex interactions of the real thing.)

Whatever the case may be... It felt like another unwanted and unneeded reminder that despite legally changing my name, changing my pronouns, adopting a new wardrobe and updating my appearance, engaging in all manner of medical treatments... That I am, and always will be, a woman with an asterisk at the end of that word.

Maybe one day I’ll make peace with that fact... but not today.

John Walker in The Falcon And The Winter Soldier.

Phone

Today I went bra-shopping at the mall. At one point I put my phone down and thought to myself:

"This is just like that one coworker of yours - the one that leaves his phone laying around all the time. Glad I'm not like that!"

It was therefore inevitable that a few minutes later, I realized I no longer had my phone on me. Fortuitously, some kind soul had handed it into security; which I knew the second I walked into the security office as it was sitting right there on their reception desk.

What follows is, verbatim, the conversation that took place between myself and the security officer on duty:

Me: "Hello! I was going to ask if anyone handed in an iPhone 7 in a black case, but that appears to be it right there. Probably you want to verify it's mine; so I think you'll find the unlock code is ████."

Security: "Ah. Well. Can you tell me what the image is" - proceeds to hold phone very close to face, like a hand of poker - "...on the lock screen?"

Me: "Yes; that will be a picture of me and my daughter."

Security: "..."

Me: "...Of course, I look very different now. I don't have a beard, for one thing."

Security: "..."

Me: "..."

Security: "What was that code again?"

Anyway, I got my phone back!