Unexpected HRT Side-effect #2

Piano

The more I learn about playing the piano, the more I am convinced that it it is fundamentally analogous to Dance Dance Revolution - but with ten legs, and eighty-eight pads...

Unexpected HRT side-effect #9

I sometimes get asked by people that have to stare intently at my face (usually in some professional capacity):

“Your skin is so good! What’s your secret?”

And I tell them:

“Every two weeks I shoot my thigh full of the cool, sexier estrogen!”

As with a number of other effects, I knew that I could expect softer, better skin. However, I didn’t truly appreciate with any kind of granularity as to what that actually meant.

For one thing: I have no breakouts, no blemishes; I changed literally nothing about my diet or skincare routine, and suddenly my face is completely crystal-clear.

(The one exception to this seems to be immediately after I load up my progesterone; although even here, ‘blemish’ seems kind of a strong word for a series of nearly imperceptible bumps.)

For another: my pores have shrunk! This caused some issues in the first couple of weeks, as it effectively forced some of them to trap their contents; but that went away after a little over a month and it’s been plain, small-pored sailing ever since!

The one downside - and it really isn’t much of one - is this: I am actually allergic to cats (which is probably not a great trait in a cat owner); but have great tolerance providing said cats are not rubbing themselves on my face. Doing so would set off a reaction where my lips would tingle and I would break out in hives.

Since starting HRT, the time in which this reaction occurs has gone from many minutes after the initial contact to practically seconds. It really isn’t much of a problem (and truthfully, I’ll gladly accept hives as a consequence of cat affection); but it’s interesting to see how yet another tiny part of my life has been impacted by the simple expedient of transposing my hormone levels!

More good things

Last night, for the fourth time in as many weeks, I was able to provide a compassionate ear for someone that desperately needed to be heard.

Now more than ever, the world needs kindness; and I’m so glad that I was able to make my own small contribution in this regard.

Two useful additions: First: The Paradox Of Tolerance. Per Karl Popper: “Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them... We should therefore claim, in the name of tolerance, the right not to tolerate the intolerant. We should claim that any movement preaching intolerance places itself outside the law...“

Second: this rather instructive video by Innuendo Studios. (Transcript for the reading-inclined.) It succinctly encapsulates the origins and character of modern Conservatism, and how contrary to all assertions, intolerance appears to very much be an intended feature and not a bug.

Conservatives will be like “Why are you holding me accountable for my bigoted beliefs? Whatever happened to tolerance???”

Interview

So; a funny thing happened at work today!

We're trying to hire in a junior developer. My boss is great at interviewing; but software development is outside of his area of expertise (he's more of a network / infrastructure guy), so he really wanted my input on this.

I straight-up told him: "You need another me; a generalist that can do everything from front-end to back-end, and more importantly, can figure out how to do things they have no prior experience with".

Fast-forward: we have a candidate coming in for an in-person interview. Two items peak my interest:

She's female. (This absolutely shouldn't be remarkable; but unfortunately, there is still a very, very heavy gender imbalance in the software world.)

Her name was simultaneously contemporary and fashionable, yet rare.

This really made me wonder... And my suspicions were confirmed when I entered our conference room and saw that she had bright blue hair.

I can only wonder what her thought process was - how intimidating it must be to walk into a prospective job interview as a trans woman, only for one of the interviewers to be introduced.... as a trans woman.

It was a good interview. Afterwards I told my boss: "When I say you need another me, I didn't mean literally"!

The final decision isn't mine to make; but part of me really hopes that she gets the job. I see a lot of my younger self in her (outside of the obvious parallels); and I would love to be able to mentor a neophyte developer, in much the same way that I was tutored by my friend and colleague.

I'm looking through the notes; and predictably, there are a small number of posters acting as if the introduction of a canonically female Custodian character heralds the end of civilization as we know it.

Others have responded in-depth to their arguments regarding established lore (and the marketing decisions that precipitated said lore); so I will forgo doing the same.

Rather, I would like to focus on this particular sentiment:

"Retroactively changing lore is a surefire way to alienate long-term members of the fandom."

I'm a very long-term member of the fandom. I grew up near Games Workshop's headquarters, and made regular trips to their stores at the height of the Rogue Trader era. I have Jes Goodwin's signature on my Games Day program; and my artwork has been published in White Dwarf.

I'm not going anywhere.

For one thing: this is a storm in a teacup. There is no actual retcon here; for there was no prior prohibition on female Custodians. What we are witnessing is the exploration of a hitherto undocumented narrative space.

(Firstborn vs. Primaris Space Marines? Now that's a retcon!)

For another: it did not take long to determine that the handful of posters leading the charge against canonically female Custodes are also Americans with conservative-aligned views.

As you might imagine, it took some years for Games Workshop - a niche British company - to penetrate the US market. It is certainly not impossible that some of these people might own a cherished copy of the Rogue Trader Compendium; statistically, however, the odds are not in their favor.

I therefore question their qualifications for speaking on behalf of long-term members of the fandom.

It has also been my observation, interacting with American conservatives, they they frequently presume that their views are indicative of the majority.

(One could infer this not to be the case, given that Games Workshop opted to introduce a female Custodian in the first place; which is precisely why these same posters are quick to hand-wave this choice as pandering to the unsavory mob du jour (in this particular instance, 'gentrified lore tourists'.))

To end as I began: these posters are a vocal minority; but they must cast themselves as heroes, staying the hands of giants, less they perceive themselves as madmen, tilting at the windmills of progress.

Per Games Workshop:

You will not be missed.

YESSSSSS. UPFRONT CONFIRMATION

Ah, the Custodes superiority continues

A year in review: 2020 edition

Looking back on my progress this year.

(To be fair, the first picture is from March of 2019 and really shouldn’t be included; but I was still so camera-shy at the start of the year there simply aren’t any pictures from that period.)

Carrying

I was talking to my spouse in the kitchen the other day; and to be cute, I hopped up onto the counter. Apropos of nothing, they picked me up and carried me around for a bit!

(I was somewhat worried that it would be too much for them - I’m not the lightest girl - but nope, they made it look easy!)

It’s another one of those moments where I got to experience a long-overdue moment of alignment between mind and body. I cherish it.

Dose three?

It is currently being reported that the federal government will shortly recommend that all two-shot vaccine recipients receive a third booster shot, approximately eight months after their second dose.

(Recommendations on boosting the single-shot vaccines are still being formulated.)

On the one hand: I'll do whatever it is I have to do to ensure the safety of my friends, family, and others; if that means getting a third dose of COVID vaccine, then so be it.

On the other hand: I've detailed previously how the first two doses each triggered a week of vicious flashbacks. (I still don't know why - I'm literally typing this right now with an arm sore from my second round of Gardasil; no major mental upsets.)

So... chances are sometime around the end of the year, the spouse, daughter and I will go round three on shots... And I will have to set aside time for another nervous breakdown.

(There's also a conversation to be had about the wisdom of Americans consuming three doses of vaccine each at a time when much of the world is struggling for adequate supply; although I am currently thinking of this as more an exercise in half of America taking the vaccine doses of the other half to protect themselves from the aforementioned other half that won't take their damn vaccine doses!)

Hon, correct me if I’m wrong, but - don’t you play the violin?

(I ask because my vision therapist once informed me that this is a common adaptation seen in people that practice independently focusing their eyes on objects at different distances - e.g. violinists, and their violin, and sheet music.)

(That being said, both I and my prescription go both ways; so perhaps there’s merit to the idea that they are connected? 🙂)

Complicated news from eye doc today but part of it is that one eye is nearsighted and one is farsighted so the punchline is even my eyes are bisexual 🤷🏼‍♀️