Looking Back, The First Sign That Something's Wrong Was That The Human Had Been Gone For Hours. There

plot twist in star wars where anakin has his kids during the clone wars- as in, before palpatien can even grasp onto the fact that anakin has a wife

basically everyone notices anakin's entire person do a backflip- mentally. suddenly hes being late, going missing, sometimes he falls asleep on rex's shoulder when they're flying out to an active warzone and then one day he'll completely skip everything and come back the next day looking like he actually slept

now palpatine- being a sith- immediately finds out what happened and now he is pissed off. how is he supposed to get daddy anakin the chosen one to turn dark side now? he has a family!

well, now palpatine uses an even more cunning tactic- he gives anakin dreams of his kids dying. and it explodes into anakin's anxiety and depression skyrocketing, which is basically a one way ticket to the dark side. so he reveals himself to anakin, anakin's confused, but then anakin is smart for once and puts two and two together about the dreams, and leaves. palpatine is like 99 percent sure anakin is going to go dark side but what he poorly underestimated was the fact that the entire 501st knows about anakin's children so as palpatine is about to execute order 66 the entire clone battalion enters the office from every side and beats palpatine up and hangs him upside down off the side of the building while anakin sits on the roof ledge next to the office with luke and leia watching everything play out

Snippet of a thing im not going to finish:

Obi-wan and Anakin meet Jango years before cannon. Jango is on a Job for Dooku. Ani and Obi are on a mission to help a tiny moon celebrate a holiday. Of course it all goes wrong and the crash into Jango during their escape, Anakin may accidently kidnap him thinking its a rescue. One thing leads to another and they go on a roadtrip to kill a sith.

"My mom is the best!" Anakin gushed. "She raised me all on her own as a slave. Managed to help start an underground railroad for escaped slaves. And saved 2 jedi all on her own."

Jango nodded. He liked the sound of Shmi Skywalker. Couldn't wait to meet her. Curiously he turned to the third person in their impromptu team up. The redheaded jedi. Who so far had been quietly working away on a plan for their roadtrip to murder a sith.

"What about your parents?" Jango asked. He may as well. He'd already shared information about his buir.

"Hmm? Oh they sold me to slavers when I was 2. Not sure what they're doing now." He answered absently. Voice calm and disinterested.

A loud crash broke the following silence. "What?!" Anakin exclaimed having dropped the small deactivator he was working on for the clone slave chips. "Your parents sold you?!"

Obi-wan finally looked up from his pad. Looking a bit confused. "The jedi found me a few months later. I don't even remember any of it. There's no need to be upset about the past Ani."

Jango bit back his scathing response to that. "What planet are you from?" He asks. Though he's got a good idea. Redheads were pretty sparce in the galaxy. Only coming from a few mostly insular planets. It would also explain why Jango's first urge when meeting had not been to kill the annoying man, but to get him away from danger.

"Stewjon." He answers. No sign of him understanding the implications of what sitting a few feet from a mandalorian means for him.

Jango resist the urge to groan. Of course he would meet the 1 Stewjoni who didn't know about the Call. And he was a kriffing Jedi of all things.

Anakin nearly chokes on his own gasp as he of all people realizes what's going on. The teens eyes snap to Jango and he stabs a finger at him. "I'll toss you out the airlock. I swear to the force. Don't you even-"

"I wasn't!" Jango snaps. He is not getting threatened by some baby jedi. Not even if part of him is crowing with excitement at being so close to one of his people. Jedi or not the redhead belonged to his people. To the Mand'alor.

"Sorry. What's going on?" Obi-wan demands. Scowling at the other two men.

"Everyone's joke about you being mando bait is more literal than previously thought." Anakin answers before Jango can. "You're not allowed be be alone with Jango anymore." He puffed up when Obi-wan snorted in response.

"Anakin-"

"He has a right to be worried. Though I have more control over myself than he thinks, others might not." Jango cut in.

Obi-wan frowned. Looking between them. "I think you may need to explain."

Look, if it helps y’all feel any better, try imagining Actor AU.

Personally, my idea of Actor AU includes:

Hunter’s actor is actually goofy and leans in hard to the dad vibes. His hair is, in fact, quite real, much to the dismay of his cast mates. Omega may have recorded BTS snaps of everyone and his included attempting to play dad rock on a guitar he keeps in his trailer.

Wrecker’s actor is actually the Smart Guy, having a degree in something complex like biochemical engineering or something. He’s also quieter and a lot more gentle than the character he plays, preferring to spend his time off-camera reading.

Echo’s actor likes to crack jokes a lot, specifically about how he’s the guy who always has to be in the makeup chair “at the crack of dawn’s ass”. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair get an earful of playful fussing if he hears them whine about sitting still for their tattoo or scar makeup. Actually has a prosthesis, though his is for one of his legs.

Tech’s actually got a degree in English (“Why else would I be acting?”) and while he’s also on the spectrum, he’s a bit less rigid than the character he plays. He sometimes wishes his character was more forward about things but ultimately respects the sass. His Kiwi accent is a bit stronger outside of the role.

Crosshair’s actor … is ironically nearsighted. Initially, the reason he always seemed to be glaring was because he was trying to get used to the contacts he was given for the first shoot the Batch ever appeared in and it just suited him. Surprisingly chill guy otherwise, very aware of how intimidating he can come off as by looks alone.

Omega is the most like her on-screen character. Just a really cheery, outgoing girl! She brings her homework to do on set sometimes, and asks Wrecker for help since he’s the one who’s best at math and science.

Everyone is always joking about the hair situation: Hunter’s hair is real, they keep having to shave Echo’s hair, Wrecker prefers to be bald, Tech’s hair is actually curly and he hates how it constantly must be jacked up for the sake of his character (think Cillian Murphy’s feelings a la Peaky Blinders), and Crosshair made jokes about how he was so used to dyeing it that he no longer remembers what his hair color actually is. Then when they made him bald (even if by use of a bald cap), Echo and Wrecker chanted “One of us! One of us!” Omega’s hair is naturally blonde and cute so the costumers left it that way.

Once, Omega snapped a pic of Echo in the middle of his makeup regimen all powdered up. Fans saw and quickly began to compare him to a baby covered in powder. Echo liked the image and comparison so much that he printed it out and taped it to his mirror. Now, a common meme that he happily plays around with is “Echo is Baby.” Sometimes, he’ll even deepen his voice and go, “I  a m  B a b y” just to get a laugh out of someone.

Interviewer: So one of the things that makes the Batch stand out is how they’re generally unafraid of experimenting with their appearances, tattoo-wise in some cases. Are there any tattoos you’d perhaps like to get? Anything like the characters you play? Hunter: Oh, not at all! A face tattoo?! That big!? I’d pass right out right in the chair! Crosshair: Same. I think Crosshair’s tattoo is more about intimidation, and frankly I think I’m scary enough. That, and I don’t know what the guy was on to be able to withstand a tattoo to the face, but I don’t have any of that on me so I doubt that’s ever gonna happen. Hunter: Yeah, the closest thing I think I could do is maybe something on my arm. Maybe my child’s hand print or something of that nature. Crosshair: Ooh, a good old dad classic. Hunter: Yeah! Wrecker: I actually haven’t thought about getting a tattoo since, like, my university years. But hey, who knows? I’ve been told I have plenty of real estate for it! Echo, sheepishly laughing: I like the idea of tattoos, but needles freak me out. Yeah, I know it’s a different type of needle but like?? I don’t like pain!! I think the best I could do is just keep applying one of those temporary tattoos to the same place over and over to create the illusion of having actual ink on me. Maybe mess around with people and skip a day or two. Or better yet: Change out the design! One day there’s a dolphin on my neck, the next day it’s a tiger! Omega: Mum says no tattoos until I turn 18. But I’d like to get a Batcher helmet as commemoration! Tech: I actually have a tattoo! I mean, it’s nothing like what Tech would probably have. I feel like if he ever got any ink, it’d probably be something geeky like his favorite equation, or something symbolic of the galaxy bottled up into a formula of some kind. I imagine that if he wanted something artsier, he’d probably outsource to someone with more artistic skills. Tech: Anyway, my tattoo is of a turtle! Everyone: *is either looking at him or snickering* Crosshair: …  A turtle. Tech: What’ve you got against turtles?

Omega convinces the guys to participate in some TikToks and such “for media purposes”. This ends in Wrecker, in character, saying, “Hunter: Omega’s trying to sneak around. But I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my butt and meaty fists keep alerting the guards!”

Yes: Everyone wishes they could have a lightsaber. Yes: Everyone would most definitely make the lightsaber noises if they had one. And yes: Everyone makes do with their blasters, but they do revert into children who go “pew pew!” every time they pull the triggers. Even Crosshair’s actor, who more so goes “pow” or “bang”.

Interviewer: How are you like the characters you play, if at all? Hunter: I’m a cool dad with awesome hair. Omega: We’re both very curious! Wrecker: I don’t think we – Oh, you know what? We both love Lula! Echo: You mean aside from a prosthesis? Uuummm … Ppprobably … We both love a godawful pun! Tech: I think we both like to collect knowledge for the sake of it. And also, we drive like crazy. Crosshair: We can both be a bit catty

Tech’s actor is constantly fumbling his lines simply because of all the technobabble he has to say.

I do not know why but the image of Crosshair’s actor being a surprisingly good juggler haunts the cinema of my mind’s eye.

And also … They are most definitely Maori or of Maori descent, so jot that tf down.

Don’t know how it’ll help, but Actor AUs are simply The Best™️ so that in and of itself has my stamp of approval for cheering up!

Interviewer: So, how would you describe your relationship with your Jedi?

Rex: *long, long, long, long sigh* Idiot siblings.

Cody: don't get me started

Rex: to clarify, I'm not the idiot.

Colt: *wordlessly pulls up sleeve to reveal "I-heart-Mom" tattoo on his bicep*

Cody: I have sympathy for Rex because Skywalker just DOES things but Kenobi, he, he thinks things through, and then he STILL does those things even if they're HORRIBLE IDEAS—

Fox: *chugs coffee, slams cup down so hard it breaks* bold of you to assume I have a Jedi

Gree: Not family, but definitely close friends.

Cody: —reckless, ridiculously self-sacrificing, no regard for his own safety—

Grey, dead serious, no hesitation: caleb is my son

Whatever clones are in Master Tapal's battalion: *chanting, one of them holds Cal up like Simba* BABY BOY BABY BOY BABY BOY

Cody: —can't even leave him alone for two minutes because he goes and loses his lightsaber in the middle of a battle—

Ponds: I'd like to say we're blood-brothers bound through the heat of battle because that sounds neat, but honestly, Master Windu and I, we're—we're fire-forged coworkers.

Wolffe: I can neither confirm nor deny that I bought Master Plo a Galaxy's Best Dad mug

Cody, staring vacantly into space: I'm so underpaid

Bly: no comment

Reblog if you think that men can wear dresses, trying to prove a point to my dad

Thanks for the tag @chopper-base !

Uh-oh…..

No pressure tags!

@spicylasat @catawampuscorner @laelish @smhalltheurlsaretaken @tattycoram @padawansuggest

Quotev

Who Are Your Star Wars Parents?

Have you ever wondered who your parents would be if you where in the Star Wars galaxy? Well wonder no further! Now updated to include couple

I got tagged by @locitapurplepink! Thank you. I got Kanan and Hera as well, which not gonna lie, is very accurate.

Tagging but no pressure: @unstableskywalker, @zephyrmonkey, @kanerallels, @laughingphoenixleader, @accidental-spice, @sidesofmayo, @thirteenmyspacegirl and anyone else who wants to play!!!

Obi-Wan sometimes forgets that Anakin and Ahsoka are not younglings anymore.

Like, during the war, when it just started and he and Anakin were only getting used to it, Anakin would often fall asleep while he was writing reports. And Obi-Wan would just pick him up to carry him to his room and Anakin would wrap all his limbs around him and cling to him like a monkey.

When Obi-Wan picks up Ahsoka for the first time, she sprawls all over him and snores into his neck.

And he gets some side-looks at first, the clones are surprised to see such displays between their Jedi. But Obi-Wan just smiles and keeps going, shifting Anakin a little so his neck won't hurt when he wakes up.

And then he starts doing it to the clones as well.

One day he randomly found a clone sleeping in the hall and picked him up, armor and weapons and all, and brought him to the barracks. The men who were there at the time almost fainted when their General strolled in casually and asked where was their brother's bunk.

No one believes them then they later speak about it in the mess hall.

Cody almost has a heart attack the first time he sees it happen. Like, this is his superior officer, his General, the High General of the GAR and the member of the Jedi Council carrying one of his man bridal stile!

It was pretty early into the war and Cody was serving under Obi-Wan's command for only a couple of months, so he was absolutely certain he would hear at least some comment or even an order to punish the man. After all, he must have fallen asleep on duty.

But there's nothing.

Obi-Wan didn't even mention it. He just smiled at the clone the next time he saw him and asked if he was getting enough sleep now.

It just keeps happening. The war is ruthless, after all.

Obi-Wan carries Anakin, Ahsoka and the clones all around the ship to get them to comfortable sleeping places. Everyone get used to it fast. Some clones even make it a competition to fall asleep in the weirdest places to see if Obi-Wan would find them.

He does, every time.

The clones get comfortable around Obi-Wan very fast, seeing that he's not exactly what the Kaminoans promised them the Jedi would be. Sure, he's calm and wise and very nice and absolutely terrifying with his lightsaber but he's also kind and warm and friendly. They joke with him, even tease him. He smiles and returns the favor. And then Wooley accidently calls Obi-Wan 'Dad' after receiving an order.

Anakin thinks it's hilarious and teases them both. Until Obi-Wan reminds him how he called Master Yoda 'Grandpa'.

That shuts him up.

But soon after, Obi-Wan randomly drops adoption papers on the table in the middle of the briefing and says that he signed them already and everyone who wants can do the same, they just need to write their name in and it's done.

That's how he adopts the whole 212th except Cody, who looks him dead in the eye and asks him out.

He says yes.

And since the 212th now are considered Stewjoni, the rest of the clones get the citizenship automatically as they're all family.

Anakin sulks and doesn't talk to Obi-Wan for a week until a very confused Ahsoka asks him why.

"No, I'm very glad that our men have rights now, but he didn't even ask me if I wanted to be adopted too! I didn't even know the Jedi were allowed to do it."

"But he adopted you like, ten years ago?"

"WHAT"

"Oh, he asked me a few weeks after I became your Padawan if I wanted to become your sister too. I said yes, by the way."

Which leads to this-

"Why didn't you tell me you adopted me!"

"But I told you, remember, after our second swimming lesson?"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING"

ONE of the most important rules of the Galactic Federation concerns humanity. If a human ever says “Hold my beer”, either stop them, or run.

Humans are space warriors

So ya'll know about war? It's a crappy thing, isn't it? Families being torn apart, murder being commonplace, stealing what belongs to completely different cultures of people. All because some Rich dumbasses didn't like the way another country looked at them.

Humans are pretty good at fighting, so much so that we even make sports out of it, mma, paintball/airsoft deciding who gets the last slice of pizza out of your siblings; it's safe to say we humans don't exactly shy away from violence, between action movies, most video games and some of the sports I just mentioned it's become a common part of our lives.

Now, considering that Earth might be a deathworld, it's safe to say that this probably isn't normal across space culture. I'm willing to bet this would make us a very feared and/or respected member of the galactic council, making us especially good at being security guards, bouncers, soldiers, etc.

Again though, Earth is a deathworld, so our normal civilians would most likely outclass even the most well trained fighters from other races, but what about our pros? The cream of the crop? The people with looks that can kill.

I think it's fair to say that soldiers or martial artists would essentially be seen as mythical unkillible demigod. Certain aliens would most likely search for these people like an apprentice looking for the kung-fu master only known through legend, hearsay and that one shitty movie that no one liked based off of their life.

Not only that, in fighting we have mutual respect for one another... most of the time, but ignoring dickheads who kick someone while they're down and people who support the british soccer team, humans will know when to draw the line and let their opponent recover.

This culminates in us being one of the most well trained warriors and most well disciplined fighters in all of the galaxy.

Since we haven’t started the @jedijune​ prompts yet, I thought I’d just do a bit of a teaser for what I have planned. 

A lot of my Jedi content this month will focus on their relationship with younglings, and there’s not better way to start things off than to remind you all that Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi actually spoils kids a lot and always have.

There’s just so much softness and love and fondness here, and it’s beautiful. 

+ Bonus: Yes, he spoiled Anakin too, just a bit <3