Tundi Sees Jesse: Omg You’re Here You’re Here I’ve Missed… I Mean… Hi. (they Hug And Cry And

And bonus in honor of the release of Book of Boba Fett! The return of Little Fang

I’m not dead! 

Part 6 of Star Wars actors AU, featuring very dramatic falls, the girls sharing a besalisk’s coat and Thrawn stopping Ezra from spoiling everything in interviews

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

plot twist in star wars where anakin has his kids during the clone wars- as in, before palpatien can even grasp onto the fact that anakin has a wife

basically everyone notices anakin's entire person do a backflip- mentally. suddenly hes being late, going missing, sometimes he falls asleep on rex's shoulder when they're flying out to an active warzone and then one day he'll completely skip everything and come back the next day looking like he actually slept

now palpatine- being a sith- immediately finds out what happened and now he is pissed off. how is he supposed to get daddy anakin the chosen one to turn dark side now? he has a family!

well, now palpatine uses an even more cunning tactic- he gives anakin dreams of his kids dying. and it explodes into anakin's anxiety and depression skyrocketing, which is basically a one way ticket to the dark side. so he reveals himself to anakin, anakin's confused, but then anakin is smart for once and puts two and two together about the dreams, and leaves. palpatine is like 99 percent sure anakin is going to go dark side but what he poorly underestimated was the fact that the entire 501st knows about anakin's children so as palpatine is about to execute order 66 the entire clone battalion enters the office from every side and beats palpatine up and hangs him upside down off the side of the building while anakin sits on the roof ledge next to the office with luke and leia watching everything play out

Humans are weird: Nerf Wars

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Alien: Friend human, why do you keep that plastic ballistic toy beside your desk? Human: *Hefts nerf pistol* I was unprepared once…..never again. ——————————– Alien: Does everyone have these plastic ballistic toys? Human: They do, but each department has their own favorite. Human: You can actually tell a person’s job depending on what nerf gun they have. Alien: Really? ——————————– Human: Most of the clerks and desk junkies have pistols. Alien: Why is that? Human: Most nerf wars often start here and they need to pivot quickly if they are in the middle of a task. ——————————— Human: Janitors use shotgun nerf guns and hide them in their carts. Human: They like sneaking up on people and shooting point blank. Alien: Isn’t that excessive? Human: They clean the bathrooms, their revenge is justified. ——————————– Human: The IT department are the most dangerous, you should avoid going near there in the middle of a nerf war. Alien: How dangerous can they be? Human: They like to booby trap everything. Alien: That doesn’t sound so bad. Human: You ever try to go to the bathroom only to set off a nerf grenade? Human: My body was covered in warts for weeks. ———————————- Alien: What kind of nerf guns do executives have? Human: Well, assuming they’re not total assholes, you’ll have one of two kinds of executives. Human: First ones are those that splurge on the giant rapid firing nerf guns that cost, like, $500. Alien: What’s the other type? Human: They buy nerf sniper rifles and take pot shots at people from across the office. Alien: Seems like you could all gang up on them. Human: If we they do they start firing us. Alien: That doesn’t sound fair. Human: Hence being assholes. ———————————- Alien: How does one start a nerf war? Human: Observe. Human: *Pulls out nerf pistol, shoots random officer worker.* Human 2: WTF? Human: Steve shot you. *Points at random other office worker* Human 2: *Pulls out pistol and shoots steve* Steve: *gets hit, roars, grabs nerf rifle and starts firing wildly* Office: *Everyone reaches for nerf gun and starts firing* Alien: How are you humans so easily triggered to violence? Human: *Pulls out pistol and shoots Alien* Alien: YOU SON OF A B- Alien: *Picks up human and throws him across office* ————————————- *Middle of office nerf war* Alien: *Dashes between cover* Alien: I need to get to the copy room! Human: You won’t make it ten feet! Human: *Points down towards copy room, sees deployed tripod with belt fed ammunition.* Alien: Where did that come from?! *Dodges stream of darts* Human: *Loads clip* Todd from accounting brought it up Alien: *Shouts from cover* That’s not fair Todd! Todd: Eat my dick! *Begins firing wildly* ————————————- Alien: Is there a reason a majority of nerf guns look like real firearms? Human: Oh that. Human: That’s just the military attempting to plant subliminal messages into children to get them to associate having fun with holding a gun, therefore making them more likely to enlist into the military. Alien: My gods, that’s awful! Human: I wouldn’t worry; lately it has about as much of a success rate as the military making video games for kids. Alien: Do they work? Human: They fail so badly they turn everyone who plays them into hippies. ————————————– Alien: Moring D- *Sees coworker* Alien: by the gods what is that!? Human: *Hefts giant rocket sized nerf* Human: I call it the “Pink Slip”. Alien: I don’t think they’ll let you use that inside. Human: Hence the name. —————————————- Alien: Isn’t this barbaric? Human: You should have seen it when we were using nerf swords and shields. Human: We built castle walls out of used soda cans for protection and drawbridges made out of sticky notes.

Fives: how dead does someone have to be before its considered a murder?

Echo: if they are dead dead, it's murder. If they are kinda dead, it's attempted murder. If they aren't dead, you failed.

Rex: *backing out of the room* nopenopenopenopenope

Cody hugs his brother close, hoping it would be enough to stave off the nightmares. He knows it won’t, not when he can feel Fox’s fingers twitching against his chest, curling around his shirt in tiny bundles. He raises a hand to his vod’ika’s hair, brushing it back while shushing gently.

“It’s okay, Fox,” he murmurs quietly. “You’re safe now. It’s all okay.”

His brother’s hands never still but his breathing has evened out from the small gasping from before. Cody can’t help but tuck his brother’s face into his neck, pretending that the water on his face wasn’t tears. Maybe if he closes his eyes and wishes hard enough, he’ll wake up to them being cadets, before the war separated them, before Coruscant wore down his little brother to exhaustion, before they realized they were only pawns in a Sith’s play for power.

Cody wishes they could go back to when they were small, barely decanted for a day but already cuddling in a pile with their batchmates. At least then they still had faith in each other despite barely meeting for more than a couple of minutes, rather than distrust and hatred thrown around for no reason other than to separate them.

Cody stares across the medbay to where his other batchmates lay, wounded and exhausted from the fight but still alive. More alive than how they found Fox.

Wolffe sends a questioning look, a small sign with his hands and Cody nods. He squeezes his brother close and breathes out.

Fox’ika will be alright. Cody will make sure of it. After all, it’s his duty as Ori’vod and he has a couple of years to catch up on.

Divorce AU Fox being an absolute mastermind when it comes to the tabloid media and laying the groundwork for the divorce years before he starts it. Lots of very subtle comments that sound mostly innocent and romantic, but paint Palpatine in a very controlling light, offhand comments that are laughed off but just don’t sit quite right.

Even a year before he starts the divorce, people are questioning the bruises he didn’t get on patrol (because it’s a celeb relationship so come on people will be checking whether he was actually on patrol or not at the point where he got those injuries).

Long before he starts anything legal reporters start looking into the condition of the Coruscant barracks, because clones are very loyal to their siblings and maybe the commander of the Guard has a reason for staying with the Chancellor when it’s clearly causing him suffering. Maybe he’s staying because he has people to protect, and maybe the Chancellor is holding their lives and well-being over Fox’s head. He has the power to, and it would certainly explain a lot.

Hell, the common public who read the tabloid start being nice to the Guard, their opinions totally flipped by the engaging stories

Fox has to pretend to be outraged by the accusations that Palpatine is abusive when they first start, but he’s secretly overjoyed, because things are going better than he could have hoped.

Palpatine isn’t completely blindsided by the divorce, but he’s 100% blindsided by the overwhelming support that comes from the masses in support of Fox and the Corries.

Fox weaponised tabloid media. They practically build the case for him.

ONE of the most important rules of the Galactic Federation concerns humanity. If a human ever says “Hold my beer”, either stop them, or run.

Wonder

Maybe people speak of Humanity's impressive strength or creativity, or just all around weirdness, but I am here to inform you of something I find far more fascinating.

Their sense of wonder and discovery.

See, when a human finds something new and mind boggling, something rare and unheard of, they do not keep it to themselves like other species would. They do not send it to the black market for money, even if they are low on it.

Instead, they share it. They share this discovery with joy and fervour, happily sending it to their scientists or a museum, and sharing it on their internet for others to see and experience as well.

When humans looked to the stars for the first time, when they took their first step on an extraterrestrial body that was not their own planet, they broadcasted it to the world. It was just their moon, but that is every species' first step. When the human race took to the galaxy, they went on wings of metal and dreams of stardust.

They do not hesitate no matter if it is dangerous and terrifying or calm and beautiful. They do not hesitate.

So I ask you, what will you do the next time you find something new?

Ahsoka is now 1000% convinced that’s Anakin’s kid. I don’t think she’s felt this at home in years.

For anyone who missed it, this is not Ezra’s first yeet-the-baby offense.

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Details about the tv show au:

- the clones are actors and some of them have been in the military in the past, but not all of them

- the jedi are able to use the force out of the show. It’s just. Their thing. They actually have powers in real life.

- the bloopers/gag reel are FULL of scenes where shaak ti trips on her cloak and nearly falls down

- Obi-Wan actually loses his cloaks all the time. The costume department secretly hates him because they have to keep making new cloaks. Where are they even DISAPPEARING to??

- the answer is: to Cody’s dressing room’s closet. He picks them up and hides them there. It started as a one-time prank but now he literally can’t stop. It’s too funny. Once Rex opened a the closet’s door and was immediately covered in a pile of brown fabric

- the bloopers also feature a bunch of clones wearing each one of said cloaks and saying “hello there” to the camera

- Anakin constantly arrives to table readings 30 minutes late with starbucks

- there is one video recorded with anakin’s phone showing Obi-Wan tiredly saying “don’t fuck up with the props. It’s uncivilized”

- there is also a video of Shaak Ti and Asajj Ventress playing truth or dare, and Shaak Ti dares Ventress to saw yoda’s cane so that he’ll fall on his face if he puts his weight on it

- she gladly does

- which gets the entire cast to witness Yoda cursing loudly for a full minute. Sadly, nobody recorded it