Overprotectivecatdad - Cat_dad

Saying

"trans men do not hold the same power as cis men in society and will still always be seen as trans men in many ways, therefore trans men absolutely can and do experience misogyny throughout their lives"

Does not equal

"trans men are more oppressed than any other trans identity"

Oppression isn't a competition, stop trying to erase the fact transandrophobia exists when you don't even know what it is

No one's saying trans women are less oppressed

This isn't the Olympics

Oh to be called boy in a lesbian way. Handsome in a butch sort of manner. A dyke type of boyfriend. A lesbian guy. Dude. Husband. Please

🤡: her father is literally dying stop drooling.

me: Okayyyy?? she’s still fucking gorjus? Let me lust over this woman for five minutes without your bitch ass yapping.

i just genuinely don’t understand how you can call yourself a femme and not love butches. there is no femme if there is no butch !!

Some people here really treat butchfemme dynamics... weirdly. Especially the butch label.

Butch is queer. Butch is not inherently a "daddy" a "boy", a he/him. Butch is not predatory, always dominant, buff, tough, scary.

It's cool if you identify with any of it, but it seems that many people just take it all as face value. They lack historical knowledge.

Being butch or femme is not inherently sexual or indicative of what your position in bed is/should be. That is a heteronormative idea and if you think so, you really should reevaluate it.

idk if ur okay with vent, feel free to ignore if you're not

i'm kinda frustrated. i was venting to a white friend about racism, and ever since i did, she pulled away from me. she stated the reason is she feels bad bc she thinks she's complicit by virtue of not being black and benefiting from white privilege, and thus she thinks i deserve better friend than her.

i was just venting. she herself is not racist. the white guilt feels so unnecessary and it hurts that instead of just being there for me, she let her white guilt pull her away from me. it's so excessive. like i guess i get the guilt if it's about her also having unlearned antiblackness and feeling bad for those unlearned stuff, but it's not that. it's purely because she's white that she feels guilty

I was gone delete this because Black, but I think everyone needs this example. I want you to hear me:

Your friend is being racist to you.

Your friend might not MEAN to be, she may be well intentioned. But she is. You went to her to vent about your experiences with racism, believing her to be a safe ear. While I can understand that she is uncomfortable, rather than just being honest and saying "hey I'm uncomfortable with this topic and I don't know how to deal with that", she has decided to center her feelings about your experiences with racism. That helps no one, in fact it redirects the weight of the conversation. She just feels bad, and you're still experiencing racism. These two things are not the same.

Now. If it were ME, I wouldn't want to be this person's friend anymore. I need the people close to me to be on the same page; I can't lean on you if I gotta coddle you about oppressing me 😭. If I came to you to tell you I'm struggling with racism, and you made it about your white guilt, I'm not telling you shit else 😅 I see EXACTLY where the line has fallen, the limit of this relationship. But that's me! 🙌🏾

That said! If you want to mend this relationship and put it on a better path, I think you should tell her how you feel.

"If you want me to feel supported, if you want to feel like an active ally and actually do something to counter that guilt over your privilege, here are things you can do." The PDF is in one of my lessons (3, I believe) but I always recommend White Fragility by Robin diAngelo as baby's first confrontation with white guilt. Maybe hand that to her? Because she's not as "unlearned" as y'all think if this is her response. And if she don't take it, well... Balls in her court! You did what you were gone do.

i dont know who needs to hear this but there can be a nonbinary lesbian. not-man likes not-men. stop thinking so hard about it