I Don't Feel Like Theres A Lot Of Resources Or Just Even Thought Given To Systems Still Like. In It.

Really what you’re doing is making RA systems who aren’t polyfrag less able to access your community

RAMCOA is classified as “extreme abuse” for a reason. And especially MC, which is really why the HC-DID label is a thing at all.

MC quite literally breaks a child down so the abuser can create whatever they want and make the child do whatever they want. The process that abusers use to create MC-based systems is inherently complex and will as such create an extremely complex and multifaceted system structure.

The label “HC-DID” harms no one. Nobody is being forced to use it. It is a label for a smaller group of severely traumatized people to create a community under.

Thank you for running this blog. I was held in troubled teen industry facilities for all of my teenagerhood, and am severely traumatized as a result, and it's been extremely hard to find words to describe what I went through to other systems or to trauma therapists.

It feels "too much", like there's no way this could all have happened to me, and I've been accused of lying about the organized abuse that went on there. Sometimes it feels almost like i AM lying, though I know I'm not.

Although feeling like I have "too much" trauma is something that I have to continue working on personally, I want to say thank you for pointing me in the direction of a framework that I can research and use that fits me more than any other one I've seen before.

I wish that none of us went through the horrors we went through, but I'm glad that there's a community out there and people talking about the things that have affected me. Thank you again for what you do running this blog.

Before anything else — thank you. This is an incredibly kind message and I'm really glad that you could find solace in this blog. I aim to provide resources that may not be (physically or emotionally) acessible otherwise, and highlight lesser-discussed aspects of RAMCOA.

The troubled teen industry is definitely part of the wider picture of organized abuse, and I wish it was put in that context more. Unfortunately, most discussions of RAMCOA focus on early childhood manifestations, and situations primarily focused on adolescents, adults, seniors aren't as referenced. Basically, the older the victim, the less likely it is to be included in definitions of RAMCOA; which is a shame, because those perspectives are crucial. Abusive care homes & inpatient facilities, prisons, and yes, troubled teen facilities are all forms of organized abuse in my mind, but the strong correlation with pedophile rings and cults has... Alienated? Many people from describing their experiences as OA.

I totally understand the feeling of having "too much trauma", and I feel like many survivors in general, not just ones of RAMCOA, can relate to that sentiment. "It's just too unlikely for all these things to have happened," I'll say to myself, "I must be exaggerating." Something that's helped me is the idea that some predators can smell blood in the water, and if all you know is hardship, it's hard to break out of hardship. Experiencing layers of trauma isn't... Rare, and you're not lying about it.

Once again, thank you. If you need any resources specific to the troubled teen industry, let me know. There's not a ton of research on it in the context of RAMCOA like I said, but I'm sure I'll find something of use.

Wishing you a gentle and fulfilling recovery. Aisling

You can't pick and choose which mental illnesses you support.

Yes, keep supporting people with autism and ADHD.

Keep supporting people with Depression and Anxiety.

But also support people with Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Also support people with ASPD and NPD.

Also support people with OCD and BPD.

There are so many more, and you should support these people with them.

They are struggling with these.

They did not choose to have these.

Trauma Bonding

Imagine you’re 5’5” standing in a pool that is 3 foot deep. It’s comfortable. The water is the perfect temperature, you can freely roam about playing or relaxing. Imagine that once a month, that pool deepens by 2 centimeters. A centimeter is tiny.. you probably aren’t even aware that your body adjusted to the change. You may have had a moment where things felt odd, but you acclimated.

After a year however, your 9 1/2 inches deeper than when you started. It’s still comfortable. You’re still adequately above water. What about two years? Three? Suddenly you realize your 2 inches over your head. You stand on your toes for a while, you can allow your body to float for a while, but your feet always return to try to find its footing. Now you aren’t focused on carefree frolicking.. now you’re focused on survival. You’re tired. You don’t have the strength anymore to signal for help. Why didn’t you get out of the water sooner? Maybe you deserve being in this water. Wouldn’t a normal person have gotten out long before now? The water use to be so amazing though! It felt like everything you ever wanted. It felt safe and peaceful, sure there were storms, but the waters always calmed eventually. You love this pool.. don’t you? You use to. You needed it. Your body felt like it couldn’t survive without it. Your mind was convinced you would never be the same without it.

Trauma bonding is a lot like this. It is a chemical reaction that occurs just like in any other addiction. Your body craves the relationship just like an alcoholic craves alcohol. Just like someone who suffers from a cutting or eating disorder. Just like anyone addicted to gambling, porn, gaming etc.

If you have ever reached subspace, think about that feeling of euphoria, as well as that crash when it’s over. The crash isn’t fun, but that high feels amazing. The only real difference is that D/s is a healthy relationship where both partners support and care about each other. A narcissist loves seeing you crash and knows the higher they take you, the harder you’ll crash. They know the more highs they give you, the more addicted you’ll become. You aren’t being dramatic when you say you feel like you can’t live without this.. your body believes that based on the chemicals regularly created and depleted in your body. It isn’t your fault. But it doesn’t mean you have to stay in the pool. I know it’s hard. I know you’re tired and I know it feels hopeless. I know you just want to breathe. There is help. There are people nearby with life boats, even if you can’t see them. Please check my tags for advice on how to get out.

Developing an Inner Safe Space for Parts

Note: This post was written for people with dissociative disorders, but anyone else can use the methods here if they're helpful!

This post is all about inner safe spaces! What is an inner safe space, though? Here's what Coping with Trauma-related Dissociation says:

"Inner safe spaces are images of places where you can be safe, relaxed, and cared for. These images have been shown to be helpful to many people, not just those with dissociative disorders. This type of imaginal activity is well known to produce a feeling of relaxation and well-being in those who use it regularly. If your inner experience feels so jarring, unsafe, and frightening, as it often does in individuals with dissociative disorders, the ability to imagine these spaces becomes especially important and helpful."

Inner safe spaces can be useful for many things. You can use it to relax & alleviate anxiety. It can be a tool for soothing dissociated parts of the self, or aide in your communication with them. You or other parts can enter your inner safe space to protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed or potential triggers. Overall, creating an inner safe space can help make your mind a safer, calmer place.

So, how do you make one? All you have to do is imagine it!

Your inner safe space can be anything you want to imagine. There are no rules and it can always be changed! You can create one imaginary place for all parts of your system to share & add to. Or, each part of your system can create their own inner safe spaces to match their own needs. Some people already experience some sort of inner world, too. This can always be changed in order to make it feel safer and calmer for all parts of the system.

🌟 Ideas for inner safe spaces:

Outdoor areas like a meadow, beach, forest, mountain, etc.

Buildings like a cabin, tree house, castle, library, etc.

Vehicles like a car, pirate ship, submarine, spacecraft, etc.

Something underground, underwater, in the sky, or in space.

An entire planet or world of your own.

A fictional world that brings you comfort.

An inner safe space isn't a safe space if it doesn't make you, including all parts of you, feel safe. A good place to start is by writing down things that make you feel safe. If you don't know what makes you feel safe, try looking at what makes you feel less unsafe. It might also help to ask a loved one or therapist for help!

Invite your system to include their own needs, too. Try not to judge them even if you disagree. It's important for all parts of the system to feel safe.

🌟 Ideas for things that you can add/adjust to make your inner safe space feel more comfortable:

Add games, food, and movies that you like

Create individual rooms for each part of the system

Give yourself an inner appearance that makes you happy

Add your favorite colors, sounds, smells, & sights

Add people, characters, animals & creatures that you like

Give yourself a comfortable bed, with soft blankets & maybe even some plushies

Add pride flags!

Create a protective force field around your safe space

You or other parts may want to have a safe space that no one else can intrude upon and that's okay. It's important to respect each other's privacy. You can also adjust the inner safe space to make communication between parts easier! For example, you could add intercoms, mailboxes, telephones, or even a meeting area for aiding communication.

🌟 Having trouble visualizing, or can't visualize things at all? Try...

Drawing or painting it.

Writing about it.

Building it. You can use a video game like the Sims (get it for free!) or Minecraft.

Basing it off of a real place.

Collecting photos/videos of what you want it to be like. You can find royalty-free images on Unsplash and Pixabay. Or you create a Pinterest account!

Filling a journal, document, blog, or discord server with pictures, writing, and anything you want about your inner safe space!

Trying guided exercises for creating inner safe spaces. (IMO this is best done with a therapist's help.)

Asking your friends, therapist, or loved ones for their suggestions.

Creating a physical safe space instead of an inner one.

Fun Trauma Things :)

Feeling betrayed when people defend or sympathize with your abuser(s)

Severe abandonment issues

Constantly questioning if you deserved the abuse

Am I actually a terrible person or am I just internalizing things my abuser(s) have said to me??

Purposefully seeking out toxic relationships to further destroy your mental health

Restoring to destructive coping mechanisms because you never learned how to self-soothe

Having a panic attack when someone raises their voice at you

Constantly reinventing yourself because you’re paranoid about turning into your abuser(s)

Never being completely certain which memories are real

Difficulty creating and maintaining close relationships due to trust issues

Tons of uncertainty regarding your religious identity

What if I’m just faking everything for attention?

Fluctuating between hating yourself and hating your abuser(s)

Hypersexuality and other forms of sexual dysfunction

Craving abuse and mistreatment and despising yourself for it

Denying yourself love and comfort because you want to suffer alone and you don’t even deserve it anyways

Picking up on the slightest change of tone in someone’s voice

Projecting the mentality of your abuser(s) onto everyone you know, because if one person who you’re close with can hurt you, so can every other person too!

Maybe I was the abuser all along? Maybe I’m just being manipulative and selfish and I’m actually a horrible abusive monster??

Minuscule, insignificant things reminding you of The Bad Memories and inducing a mental breakdown

Wishing your abuser(s) had just killed you instead of leaving you alive to suffer for the rest of your life

Dissociating for weeks on end, then suddenly having an explosive meltdown because you spilled your cereal

Feeling angry at everyone around you for never noticing the blatantly obvious symptoms of early-onset trauma

Persistent feelings of worthlessness, because if your abuser(s) don’t love you, it must mean you’re completely unlovable

Connecting the dots between traumatic memories and mental health issues you have while psychoanalyzing yourself in the shower

Inescapable suicidal thoughts at all times, always

Hi everyone,

I thought I would share this interesting comparison chart between Autistic traits vs Autistic trauma. I found this pretty informal, so I hope some of you do too.

Autism Traits

Autism Trauma

Why maladaptive daydreaming (MaDD) should be classified a dissociative disorder

Contents:

Maladaptive daydreaming summary

Dissociative disorders summary

Diagnostic criteria

Conclusion

(~1100 words)

Keep reading

Hello! I keep looking for resources on how to know if you've experienced DBMC but a lot of what I've read so far is confusing or really detailed in what drugs are used but not the aftermath effects for a person who has experienced DBMC.

We're already a C-DID system questioning HC-DID after a subsystem of alters accidentally gave us vague memories that imply DBMC. Could you maybe give insight into what a person would experience after DBMC aside from having alters that behave drugged? Thank you!

There are a few studies about this but most of them are about the drug itself. I will continue by pulling from our own experiences and nothing else.

The effects on alters depend on the substance used and for what. Some drugs aid relaxation, some worsen anxiety or pain, some are hallucinogens, and so on. Perps can use these substances in addition to torture, instead of it, or as their own application.

Narco progs are often done with something to sedate the fronter. This could be a drug made for sleep, a medication known to cause that side effect, an allergen that knocks them out after exposure. One purpose can be achieved with whatever they have on hand, and some perps are specific and educated when it comes to DBMC.

Awake progs are the opposite, some kind of stimulant effect. Progs can be mood centric, specific or broad behaviors, anything. Depending on an alter’s use, they may be kept in a substance-specific state as their baseline or be cues into it.

Betas may be constantly bubbly, lacking impulse control, unable to encode memories. Thetas may be cued into trance or out-of-body experiences. Both of these can be done primarily or entirely with substances.

Conditioning could look more like a torture-based route, with a repetitive cue and a release of dopamine upon completion. When drugs are used like torture, they may cause pain that will be stopped upon finishing the task.

The aftereffects of DBMC are different depending on what exactly was done. It can look like alters perpetually in a state, alters with barely any memory of the state, most of the possibilities for TBMCed alters.

This didn’t feel helpful to write, but idk if I can do any better. If you have a slightly different question or something else entirely, I can try again another way. Good luck y’all!

[source] [source]

I just wanted to share some information that I discovered through some MedCircle videos, presented by clinical psychologist and professor, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, who sources Theodore Millon, leading researcher and theorist on personality disorders.