Whenever I See Great Meta Like This, I Feel The Need For A Reread

whenever i see great meta like this, i feel the need for a reread <3

Some thoughts on Kit Rodriguez

So pretty much every time I re-read or re-listen to any part of the Young Wizards series, I discover new things about the books and myself in relation to them, despite the fact that I have been reading them for over half my life now. 

This morning I was walking back from yoga and listening to my audiobook of So You Want to Be a Wizard, and I was just at the part where Nita and Kit meet for the first time, and I was feeling all sorts of warm fuzzies and just wanting to jump into the novel and hug these kids and tell them that it really is going to be okay in the end because they will make it be okay, together.

And then I realized that I’d never, in ten years, thought about this first encounter from Kit’s perspective – or really thought at all about what Kit was doing before Nita came along. We know that he took the Oath about a month before meeting her, that he’s done a few small wizardries and they’ve worked, but he’s still getting bullied and the fact that even Nita knows about the recent bullying suggests that, if anything, it might have escalated since his taking of the Oath.

So put yourself in Kit’s shoes for a second. You’re smart, but you’re small and you don’t talk like anyone else, your teachers like you because you’re dedicated to your work but that only makes it harder to get along with everyone, you’re twelve years old and yet you don’t have any friends to go out and play with, so you wind up in the city on a weekend antique-hunting with your parents (horror of horrors), and you’re more or less trying to make yourself unseen in the back of the store while they haggle over the price of some armoire that you find to be, frankly, a little hideous. You’re looking halfheartedly through the meager collection of boos, the only things in this place worth a second glance in your opinion, and then suddenly one of them bites you and you think, “God, just my luck, could this day get any worse?”

And then you pull out the book. And you open it. And the universe holds its breath for a second. Exhales: slowly, cautiously. Watches to see what it is you’ll do.

You take the Oath before you leave the shop.

And then you wait. 

At first it’s not so bad. You’re light on your feet, heart fluttering in anticipation, can’t wait to get home to try some of this out.

A week later, you’ve done a few spells, nothing major, but you believe in the power now, the way you hadn’t allowed yourself to at first. You marvel in it, you spend all your free time sunk in the sensation of truly and deeply knowing the world around you in its own language. You talk to your dog, which in itself is sort of usual, but now your dog talks back.

But. There is always a but. Because the bullies are noticing that you’re happy, and they may not understand why, but they don’t approve. You say the wrong thing in class, correct one of them, high on the power the wizardry’s given you – only to find yourself, an hour later, with face pressed to asphalt, grit in your eyes, and the knowledge that even a wizard can’t do everything.

This is not the noble Ordeal the Manual talks about. This is just the pressure of the everyday, pushing and pulling you out of shape. And life’s starting to feel a bit like it did before you ever found that book. The wizardry works, but every night before bed when you check your status and it still says “probationary” you start to wonder if you’re ever going to have an Ordeal, or if maybe the Powers That Be are starting to regret the energy they expended on a beat-up broken-down kid like you.

You think, sometimes, about giving it up before They can take it away.

Every time, you say to yourself, not yet. Just one more shot. There’s always another spell to try, another chapter of the Manual to read. Maybe if you work harder the Ordeal will come. Maybe the hard work is the Ordeal. Maybe it’s only natural to feel these doubts – to wonder, at times, if you’re just dreaming it. To wish for someone with whom you could share that dream, so you could know that it’s real and that it’s really worth it.

When the girl appears, just as your spell has ground to a standstill, you’re terrified – you don’t know how to talk to girls! – but you also start to hope again. Because what if, all this time, she’s been what you were missing?

You spell with her and the world goes quiet and you know that nothing will ever be the same again and you are so unbelievably ready for that.

(Brief thought on Deep Wizardry ramifications of this potential Kit characterization behind the “read more,” since one of my followers has just started reading SYWTBAW and I don’t want to spoil her!)

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