What's Going On Here? I'm Getting Mentioned In Things...

Me: *am wearing high heels*

Me: *walking to lunch with my v tol friend*

Me: Hey I'm almost as tall as you now!!

Friend: no, you're not.

Me: *realizes the height difference*

Me: ....

Me: am I really that short??

Friend: yeahh

...i'm wearing heels to open house, hope you know...

man i forgot how much i love these 2

reblog if you're slytherin and proud

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍

@featherisafox @fandomiseverything This is hilarious, and so is the gif. XD

Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth

> Don’t give him a baby for a while.

My family is officially a bunch of dicks living in the same house as me.

the more i stray the less i fear, and the more i reach the more i fade away.  the darkness right in front of me, oh, it’s calling out and i won’t walk away.

@featherisafox @fandomiseverything It's too cute, you guys!

Daddy Washington will make sure that Alex can get some sleep _(-ω-`_)

Helpful things for action writers to remember

Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll. 

Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast. 

Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention. 

Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them. 

Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently. 

ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face. 

Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.

Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone. 

A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way. 

If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword. 

ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters.  (CLICK ME)

If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability. 

People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot. 

Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME) 

If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)

Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here. 

Oh my god

Another Random Thought

Because I need to think more on this next writing piece and I’ve been seeing this conversation around.

Harry absolutely would not call Uma “Shrimpy” under any circumstances. The guy could probably be threatened to death and still refuse to call her that, not only because it makes Uma upset, but also because of the implications behind it.

We were talking in English class the other day about what is in a name. Usually people don’t really think about it, we go by nicknames or ‘hey you’ or whatever. But in reality names are one of the few things in life that are actually ours. Names are a representation of where we came from and who we are, even when people create nicknames for themselves, its still representing them. To have someone else give you a nickname that has a very negative context (like Shrimpy) is to have your entire history replaced, and since we are made from our history, they erase you. There have been countless times in history where people force other names on people, and all these times have to do with the oppression of those who loose their names. Mal didn’t just give Uma a mean nickname, she degraded Uma into nothing more than a joke. She made it so people didn’t remember Uma for being Uma, they only remembered the humiliating prank. In short, Mal completely destroyed Uma’s identity. 

Which is where another thought I’ve been having comes in. “What’s My Name” is a truly amazing song. I like to think that Harry was the one who came up with it during the times when it was just Uma and him. He did it to try and counteract the effects of Mal’s nickname, because even if he couldn’t exactly lay out what such a name did to Uma, he knew. He knew it wasn’t just a name, it was a way to destroy Uma and he would do everything in his power to keep such a thing from happening. So when Uma got a crew, Harry taught them the song and they sing it whenever Uma needs it to be sung. It’s not a song about pride, or being vain or anything else. It is a song to remind her that she is Uma, she has worth and power over herself and her actions. And because she is Uma, she can do anything, accomplish all her goals.

Shrimpy is nothing but a bucket of rotting shrimp. Uma though, Uma is a sea goddess, the captain of the Lost Revenge and leader of the Wharf Rats. Uma is capable of doing anything and Uma is going to get them all off the Isle. 

Harry knows this, and I think he would sooner die then ever reduce Uma to a bucket of rotting shrimp.