Pride Month Be Kind To Me And Please Bless Me A Fuckin Girlfriend

it's 2022. donald trump has died in disgrace days after being impeached and jailed. my chemical romance's new album is coming out the same day as the new spiderverse movie. the lizzo and janelle monaé collab song is blowing up the radio. lil nas x has a verse in it. you and your partner have time and energy for dates after work after jeff bezos' assets have been seized and distributed to the public in the wake of his arrest for keeping employees in unsafe working conditions.

a hard pill to swallow: if an audience can pick up on where the story is going, it’s a good story.

me: god it’s so sad that this character has to die, they could have had so much better

my friends: you’re the writer, you’re the one who killed them, you could just not kill them

me: no i’m gonna

how to properly structure a query letter!*

Dear [Agent], 

[An optional brief introduction, no longer than 2 - 3 sentences, perhaps where you elaborate on the #ownvoices of your manuscript, or pointing out certain things in your manuscript that the agent asks for. I reiterate that this paragraph is optional. Unless you have a very specific reason to be querying this agent—for instance, if they tweeted an MSWL for a heist novel and you’re querying a heist novel—there is no relevance, so don’t include this paragraph.]

[The first paragraph of your summary introduces the world, the main character, and their Normal. For instance, Cynthia lives in the times of a pandemic and works to continue living in their new normal. Every day, Cynthia choose to get up and keep living and making the most of their situation while trying to find something to do to be useful.] 

[The second paragraph of your summary introduces the plot. To continue with the above idea, Cynthia has been tasked with trying to find a cure to coronavirus, but all they have to work with in their home is duct tape, tangerines, Tylenol, and a never-give-up attitude.] 

[The third paragraph introduces stakes, aka what will happen if Cynthia doesn’t discover a cure with the resources they have at home. Luckily for them, however, a woman named Jane they had a one night stand with needs a place to crash after she was evicted. Cynthia agrees to let her stay as their roommate, especially because Jane brings with her the missing ingredient to the cure for coronavirus, a magic bean she stole from a giant–but there’s only one magic bean. If Cynthia and Jane can’t find a way to make more beans, they might be sent to the realm of giants forever.] 

[The closing paragraph goes like this: Complete at 89,000 words, THE MAGIC BEAN is an Adult contemporary fantasy with potential for a companion novel. I believe it will appeal to fans of Erin Morgenstern and Naomi Novik. Briefly explain who you are and share what you’re comfortable with about yourself—I say I’m 26, headed to grad school for archiving, and that the book is #ownvoices for genderqueer representation. Also mention if you have any connection to the publishing industry. I mention who I was previously represented by, why we amicably parted ways, and that I’ve mentored in many writing contests.] 

[Final closure: Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you again!] 

[Best,]

[My name]

[My phone number and, though optional, my twitter handle] 

*i’ve been in the publishing industry for nine years now, have mentored many authors who went on to be published by the Big 5, and worked in writing contests to help writers, not only with their manuscript, but with their pitch and query letter and comps etc. i know what i’m about 😉

sword lesbian this, sword lesbian that, will anyone spare a thought for bow and arrow lesbians in these melee fighting times

Look this beautiful dog

That thing where you know you gave one of your main characters a last name, but you can’t remember it and can’t find it in any of the tens of thousands of words you’ve written. 

Balls.

Will: What kind of work would you want to do?

Nico: I don’t want to work. I want to lay in bed eating McDonalds all day.

Will: So does everyone, but you have to work if you want to live.

Nico: Then I want to die.

Will, spraying him with water: No.

She-Ra s5 characters as John Mulaney quotes

Adora:

Catra:

Glimmer:

Bow:

Entrapta:

Scorpia:

Mermista:

Sea Hawk:

Perfuma:

Spinerella and Netossa:

Once I was wearing a silk patterned button up shirt with short sleeves and the shorts equivalent of mom jeans, and I had those chekered vans (my hair is shorter than a pixie btw) and those three girls kept on looking at me with smiles and one waved at me when we locked eyes I felt like fricking Superman walking in costume down the street

wlw culture is wearing oversized clothing and an occasional beanie in hopes that someone will realize that you like girls