Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned In All The Coolest And Most Glamorous Ways Possible

So we have a lot of ‘Sirius is beautiful and my word does he know it, his hair is his favourite thing and he revels in the glory of his own splendour’.

But I’m just laughing at the idea of a completely oblivious Sirius who is too busy being hyperactive to ever pay any real attention to what he looks like in the mirror- I mean the boy brushes his teeth sat on the counter chatting rapid fire to the others (much to ‘Fuck Mornings, Fuck You, Fuck Everything’ Remus’s ire), or bouncing around the dorm flinging stuff in his bag. He doesn’t ever really brush his hair- there’s a charm to do that, and then he doesn’t actually have to watch what he’s doing because who has time to actually look at their hair? And it all gets in his fucking face anyway- he keeps it long partially because his mother claims it looks unruly and partially because he just can’t be fucked getting it cut, but one evening in the common room he’s tucking it behind his ears to do his Transfiguration for the 7th time in quarter of an hour and angrily says he’s just going to chop it all off, and there are literally about 15 people around the room (including Remus) who just go ‘NO!’ and then look really awkward but he can not cut it- just that casual elegant way it falls into his eyes and it’s all wavy and silky and so so so pretty, and Lily comes to the aid of Remus like ‘Well Muggle mythology says there was this lion called Sampson, and when they cut off his mane he lost his power. So you shouldn’t cut it off- it’s unlucky. Here, have a hairband.’ and he thinks it’s very odd behaviour but like Ok, fine, people are weird.

And he knows he’s charming because he charms people all the time, and he’s a massive flirt but that’s just because he likes people and it makes him happy to talk to people in a way that makes them feel good about themselves, and it makes him happy to see the smiles and bitten lips and slight flushes that say they’re flattered because it’s nice to make people feel good (except Snape, obviously), and if it means he can worm his way out of detention or get drinks for him and the lads at The Three Broomsticks then so much the better, but he just does not understand why not everyone finds it as easy as he does? Like he tells Peter to get the next round in, tells him what to say to Rosie to get her to forget they’re 16, and Pete comes back really dejected like ‘I said what you told me and it didn’t work’. And Sirius is really confused by this like ‘What, but you said the exact same thing I just said?’

And really why do girls giggle so much? Do they do that all the time? Why? At least Evans is normal, but some of the others actually freak him out a bit, and truth be told sometimes the blokes are no better. And it becomes a massive inside thing, especially amongst the Gryffindors, like ‘Someone should tell him he’s a fucking adonis.’ ‘What? No way! His ego’s just fine as is- don’t inflate it any more.’ ‘But he’s so pretty it’s just wrong for him not to realise.’ ‘No! If you tell him, maybe he’ll turn really picky…’ ‘You do realise he is so picky already that he has literally never had a girlfriend?’ ‘Oh come on, he’s been pining after Remus Lupin for years!’

And it’s just something that’s never really occurred to him- to be bothered about what he looks like. Maybe it’s so many years of an abusive home being looked at like he’s dirt, but he’s got a remarkable resistance and ignorance towards the way people look at him, good or bad. And it’s only really Remus who breaks past that. Because he’s got such eerily perceptive eyes, it’s just like he’s looking right into your soul, and it’s sort of uncomfortable and it makes his skin go all crawly but he loves it- it’s a sort of adrenaline rush to feel so totally exposed, and he feels like Remus likes what he sees when he looks at him like that. He feels valued and important and special, like the way it makes him smile to make other people feel, only so much more intense, and when, eventually, Remus is brushing that bloody fucking hair out of his eyes and down his cheek and says he’s beautiful, he feels like maybe he is. And it’s got absolutely nothing to do with the way he looks in the mirror.

holy, holy, holy. these are the words he murmurs into your skin, language of prayer, language of divinity, language of worship. holy, holy, holy. he whispers it into your crook of your neck, rolls the words into the hollow of your throat, into your bones, into your sharp edges. holy, holy, holy. a mantra. a litany. a prayer. holy, holy, holy. the way he looks at you, it’s like he wants to take you apart and study each piece of you, and then maybe he’ll put you back together when he’s done. maybe. holy, holy, holy. he stares at you, so hard you can feel it burning your skin, and you think maybe he’ll kiss you, or maybe he’ll eat you alive. you haven’t decided yet. holy, holy, holy. in the end, it’s a kiss, real as a punch and twice as hard, and it hurts like a bullet pearling into flesh, hurts like his eyes on the back of your neck, on your collarbones, on your lips. holy. holy, holy, holy.

on loving a god | m.c.p (via ara-ne-um)

adam parrish: i am so busy all of the time i have a partial scholarship and three jobs

adam parrish: also im emotionally exhausted all the time, from living in an abusive home and my self-image facing off against my survival instincts

adam parrish: but sure, i'd love to spend time looking for a dead welsh king

adam parrish: and i totally have the time to pursue a relationship

adam parrish:

adam parrish:

adam parrish:

adam parrish: tbh being a sentient forest's magician isn't that big of a commitment

gansey: *sighs dramatically, looking out the window*

ronan: what, is adam late for your nerd circle jerk?

gansey: *face pressed into the glass* yes

There is a specific and terrifying difference between “never were” monsters and “are not anymore” monsters

“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying

“The thing that was not a deer anymore” on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations.

i. your father speaks of his youth with revelry spills his life across the kitchen table like an overturned drink your mother doesn’t speak any stories of her pre marital life come from your father’s mouth he speaks of how he tamed her saved her from a life of reckless abandon clipped her wings to keep her from flying too close to the sun but Icarus would have just as soon drowned than burned and the silence in your mother’s mouth is a saltwater darkness she does not speak up to defend herself even now, years after their divorce your father’s voice can fill a room your mother still makes space for it when your mother teaches you not to be swallowed, she is already sitting in the belly of a beast she once loved you wonder if she has grown to love the darkness like she once loved the man ii. the day you learn the importance of emergency exits is the day your heartbeat stops sounding familiar it is a stuttering tongue a trembling hand your heart beats like closing doors like your father’s fading footsteps like every plea you learn how to swallow don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, don’t – your father teaches you to be the first one to walk away leave before they realize you are not worth staying for iii. when your mother tells you not to be afraid of falling in love you do not miss the way her hands shake you wonder if they miss the handcuff weight of the ring that used to rest on that finger you wonder if you, too, will fall in love with a padlock man you begin to be wary of boys with birdcage hands they have mouths like oceans and your mother is still wringing seawater from her bones iv. you master the art of slipping away by starting small fix your body clock so you always wake up first plot escape routes like past times force your heart to beat just go, just go, just go, just – practice on the ones you love most that way, nothing can hurt you you cannot break a mangled thing and you don’t know the last time your heart sounded like a heart v. he tells you you eat like a bird you tell him your mother taught you well he laughs, and reaches for your hand you smile, and begin to slip through the cage of his fingers vi. when boys begin searching for hospital room hearts you warn them yours is a broken glass bottle they don’t care, or they don’t hear you they cut themselves on sharp tongues make fingerpaintings with the blood on their hands make it sound so beautiful you almost believe them soon, though, they will wake up with scars and blame you you leave them a bandage in the dark and don’t look back leave before they realize you are not worth scarring for vii. you see every outstretched hand as a palm preparing to drown you so you sink farther underwater and ignore the burning in your chest run your fingers over every name that has left your mouth for the last time and tell yourself you have done the right thing

the heartbreaker poem | bianca phipps (via biancaphipps)

things that sound like fake spoilers for trk but are actually real

ronan and adam adopt a child

maura sargent at one point in time banged a tree

ronan dreamt up a deer fursona of adam

a set of triplets act like they are one person

someone says the words “eyeball chapstick”

helen asks gansey if he’s sleeping with ronan and/or adam

noah founded a long-lasting school tradition

blue sargent has an enjoyable time at an aglionby party

gansey gets pissed off because ronan keeps calling him dad

the gray man leans on the fourth wall to say that adam’s the male lead

gansey tucks blue into his overcoat