Literally Do Not Ever Think About Ronan Who Hasn’t Laughed Truly In Years Giggling Against Adam Parrish’s

look how many teeth / you have—the better to swallow the sky

Emily O’Neill, from “where St. Francis tamed the wolves,” Curious Specimens (via lifeinpoetry)

i’m so yikes at all the people praising @maggie-stiefvater for the lgbt ship being treated ~so well~ in trk just bc…. the lgbt characters weren’t killed off or turned into trees, and that’s just….. so sad.

as if pynch wasn’t completely treated as an afterthought, because they totally were. their scenes were super short and had no dialogue whatsoever, nor did they have any sort of confession of feelings or clear confirmation of their relationship while the hets got clear i love you’s and official declarations of their relationship to literally everyone and unnecessary drama……….. like i’m super happy that they’re both alive and happy and together and have a little hooved daughter that they love but. 

that shouldn’t be our standard. it’s mostly just sad that our expectations are that low that we’re praising an author for sidelining the lgbt ship and treating them nowhere near as well as the straight ship. and again so much of pynch was subtext and extremely subtle stuff that you have to read in between the lines, as it has been since the beginning. 

and i don’t even blame any lgbt people for being happy about it bc we’re used to being treated so awfully that we’re basically ecstatic about getting just scraps bc well, it could be so much worse. but stief is nowhere near revolutionary and actually giving good and equal representation and we deserve better (and any straight people praising it just need to shut up, thanks). 

i mean, if you can say one positive thing about it, it’s that the two lgbt characters got the strongest and most intricate individual arcs, but as a ship they were absolutely sidelined and underwhelming after all the hype and build up. 

foxes: human beings in a mob

riko: what's a mob to a king

ichirou: what's a king to a god

andrew, probably: what's a god to a nonbeliever get over here ill break ur arms too

Neil: i'm fine

Everyone else: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means

Megan Follows as Anne and Schuyler Grant as Diana Barry in Anne of Green Gables (1985) [*], Anne Of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery (Chapter XV ), Bosom Friends: Lesbian Desire in L. M. Montgomery’s Anne Books by Laura Robinson, Little Ditty About Anne and Diana by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, Interview with Megan Follows

it’s hard out here for a baby-faced demon

"#and now i'm thinking about the fic#where ronan and gansey-on-fire#accidentally get married" Now you clearly need to write that!

I nominate anyone else to write it! Which is what I told allthroughoursplendor. And then she told me I was no fun, which is accurate! 

But if I WAS writing it Adam and Blue would mostly find this hilarious, since neither of them were even thinking about getting married so it’s not like it changes their immediate plans, and it would change literally nothing about Gansey and Ronan’s relationship. Because seriously. Gansey and Ronan the two-headed creature. Gansey and Ronan of the “this is precisely why I didn’t want to have a baby with you.” Like, Gansey was always going to be the first person to the hospital/jail/moving van rental place anyway. Just now he can do all of the shit he was doing for Ronan before with an added legal benefit. 

You know, until Helen and/or Declan is just like ‘seriously you guys, the Gansey parents are displeased and your taxes are going to be fucked and this is not cute or funny, no Helen stop laughing, it’s really not funny.’ Helen thinks it’s kind of funny. 

Adam’s mostly like, “WE LEFT YOU ALONE FOR A WEEK?” 

And Blue chimes in with, “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO CAMPING, WHY WERE YOU EVEN IN VEGAS?”

And Ronan says, “Camping got boring, Vegas had better food.” 

Gansey sniffs and just says, “the Grand Canyon was a thing of splendor Ronan, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. We didn’t even get to take a donkey into the bottom.” 

Blue rolls her eyes. “At least being married hasn’t changed you into people who aren’t contrary assholes.”

“The coyotes were making Chainsaw nervous.” 

“The lack of A/C was making you nervous, more like,” Adam says, because he has heard Ronan whine about the heat in his apartment SO MANY TIMES. 

Ronan gives him his best shit eating grin.

“That’s gotta be a five hour drive,” Blue says. 

“Three hours, fifty minutes,” Ronan breaks in. 

Blue huffs. “Why can’t you just do whims like the rest of us? Maybe get a different haircut or paint your nails something fancy?”

“What are you saying about my hair?” Gansey asks. 

At the same time Ronan says “My nails are already fucking fancy enough. Plus I let Noah paint them black that one time and it took forever to get that shit off.” 

And that’s when Adam starts laughing because holy shit their boyfriends are the most ridiculous people on the fucking planet and that’s the only explanation. “Let me see it.” 

“You okay being my mistress then?” Ronan pulls a thin gold band out of his pocket and tosses it at Adam who catches it mid-air and turns it over. 

“Mistress,” Adam says, and giggles in spite of himself. “It sounds so clandestine and exciting. Not at all like I have to put up with your socks on my fucking pillow.”

“My socks are a gift and so are the feet that go in them.”

“Gansey, make your husband behave,” Blue says, just trying it out. She finds this is also hilarious and joins Adam in the giggling.

“I still don’t want to have a baby with you,” Gansey says with fake misery, just to make sure it stands. 

“That’s what the mistress is for. Right, Parrish?” 

Adam closes his fist around the ring and punches Ronan lightly in the shoulder.

And that’s how Ronan and Gansey are married for a whole two weeks or something before older heads prevail and they have it annulled on the grounds it was never consummated. Ronan chimes in that he consummated it many times, just with someone else. Blue says that that’s not what consummated means. Adam says nothing. He just rolls his eyes a hundred times, because seriously you guys. Why can’t we ever doing anything the way normal people do it? How do we always find ourselves in these situations? You guys, seriously.  

like i know rich people live on a completely different realm of existence than me but how can a 14/15/16 year old kid with ptsd and a probable anxiety disorder be permitted by his own parents to just… roam the continents of the world… essentially by himself… next to no supervision… what’s up with that… “bye tiny son see ya next christmas don’t die” like ?

ungodly