Absolutely Going To Count This As One Of The Top 100 Funniest Images I Have Ever Seen

Just came back from the Women’s March—(in reaction to the Texas bill, if anyone was wondering).

There were a shit ton of Anti-vaxx protesters there, and a handful of anti-choice asswipes. I have a theory of what will happen as a result:

The crowd that is only anti-vaxx will make us-pro choice-look anti-vaxx to. People who don’t know about the pro-choice movement, will begin to think that “my body my choice” applies to vaccines too.

@wildefire Here it is! c: /i kinda imagine a college Steve for this one idk why :D:D/

2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.  + 3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.

—

Today was the day. Finally you had the day off for yourself and after the mission you told everybody you’ll see them around later and you sprinted to your room. You took off your clothes and wrapped your body in a nice fluffy towel, then grabbed the little pink bag from the shelf and entered your bathroom.

You closed the door and filled the bath tub with hot, steaming water and added your favourite scent to it. You were really excited, because this was your first free day in three weeks and all you wanted to do was to sit in that bath tub until you grew gills.

You lighted some candles, their delicate aroma was simply heavenly. But the best was yet to come! Yes, the little pink bag - you opened it and unwrapped the colourful bath bombs. “Finally I get to see what’s all the fuss about” - you said to yourself excitedly as you bit your bottom lip and dropped the rosy-lime one in the water. Just watching it turn the transparency into a nice pinky colour was so satisfying, you couldn’t wait to get in this tub and enjoy the afternoon.

Candles, flowers, some chocolates, everything was perfect. Your muscles were so tensed and your body craved relaxation. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back, a sigh of pleasure escaping your lips, when suddenly you felt a gush of cold air hitting you. And then a loud dropping sound.

This made your eyes open right away. You looked aroud - the door was closed, but what the hell was that on the floor. It looked like a little box, but it was… Ticking?

You opened the door just as the smoke alarm buzzed , just so you could stand face to face with the Devil himself, who stood at your door, biting on an apple, while blue smoke was coming out of the bathroom.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the opposite wall. “You! You little cheeky bastard! How dare you ruin my only free day?!” - yelling at his face seemed to do nothing, so you grabbed his apple and tossed it at the wall. “First you turned my hair green, then you shrank my clothes so they can only fit a fucking ant, then you came in my room naked in the middle of the night and scared the crap out of me. It’s not funny! I fucking thought I was getting kidnapped! And now this?! ” - by this point he was trying really hard not to laugh, so he just bit his lip, but his eyes were almost watering from the laughter he was holding in.

“It’s not fucking funny Rogers!” - you pulled him again and this time he laughed and leaned over the door frame. He was desperately trying to say something between the gasps for air “Your… Your face is blue” - he laughed, hitting the door frame with one hand. You started clapping slowly, in a sarcastic manner “Aren’t you the most observing person in the world! No, no, you know what fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you?  ”

You poked his chest with one finger and then crossed your arms, still glaring at him. Your hair messy, your face blue with some darker patches of blue on your shoulders, your body covered with the towel. You were mad at the moment, but in reality you looked beautiful to him, even in your crazy states.

You bent down a bit, holding your towel with one hand - “This is war, Rogers and you’ll get it!” - he looked at you with a cheeky smile and then got up, pulling you closer by your waist, so he can clean some of the blue from your face. “Aren’t you overreacting a little bit?” - he asked childishly, his smile only growing bigger, his brows raised as if he was so amused from your overraction.

You waved a finger in front of his face “Me? Overreacting?? Probably! But that doesn’t stop me from getting my revenge on you!”

~~ You planned your revenge for a few days and a couple of days later it was time to get your plan going.

You tried to seam calm and collected during the weak, as if you had forgotten everything, but in reality you were just looking for the right opportunity. And so the day came.

Steve was in the kitchen, just a towel wrapped around his waist, his body glistening with some fine drops of water. He was cooking something, when you tip toed to him and wrapped your hands around him and placed a kiss on his bare back. You felt his muscles tense and his skin heat up. He turned around and as he did you placed another kiss on his neck. His hands just barely resting on your waist.

Your relationship with him was complicated, but not complicated enough for you not to notice his constant flirting with you and so you knew this would have his mind running thousand miles per hour.

His head moved to the side involuntarily and you kisses his ear, but tried to stay calm. As much as you liked the game, turning your face blue for two days straight was no fun. You had to move fast because very soon he’d realise what was happening, so in one quick motion you handcuffed him to the fridge and unwrapped the towel from his waist.

He had no time to protest because the next thing you did was ripping the flour packet he had prepared all over him and pulled a camera from behind your back. “That’s what you get for messing with me, Rogers” - you said teasingly as you snapped just one photo of him and then put the keys on the far end of the table. You spared him once last look before you exited the room, you winked and then stuck your tongue out at him when he said with a smile “I’ll get you for that!”

Witch’s Name- Finding yours with Numerology & the Planets

One method of finding ones’s Witch’s Name is utilizing Numerical Significance to each Letter of the Alphabet. One can yield results to find a path in determining the desired witch’s name. Denote a list 1-9 then write out the Alphabet in order assigning each letter a number 1-9 in a list of 3 lines (see below).

123456789

ABCDEFGHI

JKLMNOPQR

STUVWXYZ

Keep adding the resultant numbers together till they form a single digit, thus:

JOHN 1+ 6+ 8+ 5 = 20

+

SMITH 1 + 4+ 9+ 2+ 8 = 24

= 44

=4 + 4

= 8

Now numerologically speaking the digits have the following traditional planetary attribution:

1. The Moon

2. The Sun

3. Mercury

4. Venus

5. Mars

6. Jupiter

7. Saturn

8. Uranus

9. Neptune

In John Smith's case, his name planet will be Uranus. His next step would be to consult a book of classical myth and legend, on the subject matter surrounding Uranus. There will be ample material to select a name from, especially if the book is one of comparative mythology, showing the interrelations of legends among different cultures. One can create a mix of information presented in the Mythology & Magickal references all relating to the said Planet that is the last number of the whole name. Have fun with this & write it in your magickal Tome.

❤️🧙🏻‍♀️🖤

Part 3 of: MOVIES I WISH I NEW MICHAEL SHEEN WAS IN! THIS EPISODE, LUCIAN IN THE UNDERWORLD SERIES

GODDAMMIT NOW I HAVE TO GO REWATCH THE UNDERWORLD MOVIES (sidenote: LOOK AT THOSE ARMS)

It’s that time of year again.

Bonus:

https://twitter.com/jijijibli/status/1391829463630024704?s=19

I’m autistic and I wear headphones for sensory issues. Doesn’t mean you can be a dick in public. Please, just have the decency to not behave like you’ve never seen the outside world before (and are unaware of basic social etiquette).

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

These Utensils Are Totally Edible