Time Passes Too Quickly. You Lay Down In The Forest. "just Five Minutes," You Say To The Trees. "five

Too tall

You: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Tony: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him. Simple.

Steve: Tackle him.

Natatsha: Dump him.

Thor: Kick him in the shin.

Loki: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. WHAT THE FUCK MORTALS? JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

STUFF NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT TEETH (and how to take care of them if you are poor and/or depressed)

Contrary to what the US health industry would have you believe, your teeth are NOT luxury face bones. You need them. Healthy teeth are a cornerstone of good health in general for a lot of reasons. You can’t eat well without them. You need them to speak. And tooth bias is real.

This makes me very sad because I love teeth. I am not a dentist. I’m a biological anthropologist whose expertise is oral disease and the evolutionary anatomy of teeth. My dad’s an oral surgeon and I worked in his office from the tender and illegal age of 8 to the ripe old age of 18, which is when I went to college. At 12, I was assisting with the disposal of biowaste, aka packaging up the teeth to send them to dental schools. I live, breathe, sleep, and occasionally eat teeth. I found a human incisor on my floor this morning and wasn’t even surprised. I study how teeth go bad partly so that I can help living people protect the teeth they’ve got. It’s my goal with this post to teach you about a couple of different types of procedures and oral injuries, as well as what you can do to help keep your teeth functional. So in this post, what I am going to do is outline a few common things that can go wrong with your teeth, how they happen, and how to catch them before they get bad. A lot of the advice in this post is for people who maybe can’t get to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup every six months. This post is also gonna be LONG AS HELL and there is going to be a separate post called “luxury face bone hacks for the busy/broke/b’mentally ill” or something like that, so like. If you don’t like super long posts, just hit this one with a like and actually read through that one.

First, let’s talk about dental anatomy.

What Are Teeth?

Teeth are extremely cool. They’re these amazing little packages of dentin pulp, protected by enamel, nestled into the jaw like truffles in a box of chocolates, held in place with a teeny tiny ligament. They’re gorgeous– enamel is a beautiful substance, translucent and opalescent. Teeth are also extremely weird when you think about them. You have these weird not-bone things emerging from holes in your jawbones. They’re snapped into place with a biological bunjy cord and you can actually SPRAIN THEM if you put too much pressure on them.

Here are some important things to know about teeth!

First, the nerves in your teeth were never meant to be exposed to the air. They only process stimulus one way: pain. This means that when you get a cavity or do anything else that exposes the nerve, it is going to hurt like a bitch.

Your teeth may come loose! Usually they stay put and go back to normal in a day or two. Don’t panic. This is usually the result of you spraining your dental ligament that holds the tooth in place.

Root canals suck but they can prevent dental abscesses. Dental abscesses can kill you. If they spread and get into your sinuses, they can cross the blood/brain barrier and you will die. This doesn’t happen much any more, but in rare cases… it can.

The phrase “like pulling teeth” is a misnomer. Pulling teeth is extremely easy if you know what you’re doing. Extractions are usually a very simple procedure. What’s complicated is things like root canals and setting up implants, which, in the case of implants is the literal opposite of pulling teeth.

Pregnancy will fuck up your teeth because a.) the fetus is leaching your vital essence and other nutrients and b.) your hormones are telling a lot of ligaments in your body to loosen up to get ready to give birth. Sometimes wires get crossed and other ligaments at non-mobile joints get the loosen up message, too. Just be sure to keep up your dental hygiene regimen during pregnancy and you’ll be fine.

Your gum tissue isn’t just weird wet skin. It’s a mucous membrane that protects the mouth. It can get diseased and inflamed, so pay attention to it! Also, there’s a lot of blood vessels so if you poke yourself with something, you’ll bleed like a stuck pig for a minute. The kind of bleeding you should be worried about is prolonged bleeding, where you see blood welling up around your teeth for no apparent reason.

Now that you’ve been equipped with some fun facts, lets talk about diseases and procedures.

Braces: if you’re reading this, you probably don’t need them

First: Pediatric orthodontia is largely a scam. People who put standard braces on their child before that child has lost all of their baby teeth are stupid and causing their child needless pain because those teeth are going to fall out anyways and the alignment of the adult teeth was decided long, long ago. The kids who NEED orthodontic intervention are kids with bad crossbites/underbites/overbites. This requires specialized headgear most of the time and is more intense than the standard braces because they are made to solve a much bigger problem. The standard bracket-and-wire braces? Don’t put those on a child. They won’t help. Also, your kid doesn’t have their third molars yet, and those are the molars most likely to come in twisted anyways.

As an adult, you may want braces for cosmetic reasons or for comfort reasons. This is a CHOICE that is YOURS TO MAKE. If your dentist suggests you need braces, ask why. You don’t have to get them. Now,If you have certain kinds of dental overlap- like, your lateral incisors have been pushed behind your frontals- then yeah, you should get braces. But is it the end of the world if you don’t get braces? No.

Wisdom tooth removal: you might not need it

The human jaw is in a state of evolutionary mismatch right now. Basically, our last molar, the third molar, doesn’t come in until we’re an adult. Unfortunately, thanks to ten thousand years of agriculture, give or take a few millennia, we have much more gracile jaws than our ancestors. There’s not always enough room for it. Now, this isn’t true for everyone, because no two skulls are identical and all, but sometimes there is a condition where you really should get those suckers out. If they are impacted, or coming in sideways, they can push your other teeth out of alignment and cause jaw issues down the line. If they come up straight, don’t worry about it.

Cavities: you need to get these taken care of

Cavities are a pain in the ass and are honestly the main reason you should go to the dentist for checkups, so that they can take the x-ray of your mouth and see how any potential trouble zones are progressing. You should call a dentist and seek help if you notice pain that persists over three days, as that’s an indicator of something more serious than just a sprain.

Tooth Grinding: this is a problem

If you grind your teeth, your dentist may recommend a night guard. Actually listen to them about this. Grinding your teeth can cause major jaw alignment problems that are a pain to fix, so just bite the silicone and suck it up. Also maybe talk to a therapist if you can, because grinding can be a result of stress/anxiety.

Whitening your teeth: bad idea

First off, your teeth ain’t supposed to be white. Enamel is not white. Enamel is translucent and pearlescent, so its actual color is very hard to pin down. Your teeth are naturally going to look more ivory-colored over time. That’s just part of being human and having teeth. Embrace it. You are a badass omnivore with thirty-two gorgeous enamel teeth. They weren’t put in your mouth to look pretty, they were put in your mouth to feed you.

Second: Whitening your teeth weakens your enamel. Once your enamel’s gone, it ain’t coming back, baby. There are some gentler whitening methods, like whitening toothpaste, but these are only going to give you about one to two shades worth of improvement. If you have extremely stained teeth and you want to whiten them, make sure you talk to your dentist about all the risks. Unfortunately, there is no truly safe and effective home-style (read: not a million gotdang dollars) remedy for whitening teeth.

There are a few that are kicking around, but seriously, some of them are dangerous. Do NOT rub wood ash on your teeth. That’s lye. Don’t put that in your mouth. Do NOT use actual bleach, hair dye developer, or non-dental peroxide gel. They are poisonous. DO NOT PUT ACETONE ON YOUR TEETH i have seen this exactly once and the person came into my dad’s office with chemical burns on their gums and lips. I do NOT want to see this again.

It is a misconception that brushing your teeth keeps them looking white. Brushing your teeth removes plaque and biofilm, but those buildups don’t actually stain the enamel itself. Instead, really the only way to keep your teeth looking light is to pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth. If you’re a tobacco user, vape! Tar is a major staining agent. Coffee’s also a major stainer, and the big trick there is to put a little milk in it. See, enamel staining doesn’t come from the color of the food. It comes from chemical properties. Acidic foods stain because acid damages enamel. Food with high levels of tannins, like coffee or tea, stain because the tannins change the PH of the mouth. So what you should do to avoid staining is balance your mouth PH by eating something basic after eating something acidic. Add a lil milk to your coffee or tea to weaken its acidity just a bit. Swish with water afterwards to help clear the acid. Don’t eat lemons or any other acidic food after drinking coffee. Why would you want to eat lemons after drinking coffee, anyways? Seems like a weird flavor combo to me.

And while we’re on the subject…

MOUTH CHEMISTRY

What’s in your mouth? Your teeth, your gums, your tongue, your spit… yeah, your spit. Saliva’s important. It’s probably THE most important thing in protecting your teeth because salivary production constantly washes the teeth, clearing off as much bad bacteria as possible. If you have an issue with saliva production, you should drink as much water as you can throughout the day, and get a bottle of dry mouth tabs for nighttime. Or daytime, if they don’t bother you. This is really important because dry mouth is a major side effect for a lot of drugs, like anti-depressants. This is actually a huge part of my research- the population I study used a natural painkiller, but in the end its use caused them more pain because the way it works, it decreases the efficacy of the salivary glands. They stop making sufficient saliva, the teeth dry out, the mouth PH changes, and the bacteria that destroy enamel go buckwild. If you can’t make your own spit, store bought is fine. Water for the day, tabs for the night.

Now, you might think that ok, acid isn’t great, let’s eat more basic foods to balance that out. You can, but it… isn’t great. Your saliva is naturally acidic for a reason, and if you neutralize it completely, that ALSO messes with your teeth. You should be drinking plain water as much as possible.

Seltzer and Soda

Some people think seltzer may hurt your teeth, but it really won’t… unless it’s citrus-flavored. Reason: citrus seltzer uses citric acid as a flavoring agent, and that messes with your teeth. So if you want to drink citrus seltzer, drink it with a meal or with food. Don’t sip it slow over the day.

Soda, on the other hand is a goddamn nightmare. The acid’s kind of a problem but the sugar… dear god the sugar. So. your teeth are covered in a bacterial biofilm. Some of these bacteria excrete acid, and that’s what gives you cavities. This is another part of my research- looking at how cavity prevalence changes as sweetening agents and sugar availability changes. As different carbohydrates enter the diet, populations’ disease responses change. I know more about this than probably anybody else in the world, and here is what I know: the best thing you can do for your teeth is stop drinking American soda.

It’s the corn, you guys. The chemical compounds in corn make the cavity-causing bacteria kick into overdrive. Sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup create the perfect environment for these dudes to excrete out a storm. Sugary beverages in general promote cavities, but NOTHING does it like sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup or any other corn byproduct. Try to limit your soda and juice consumption and if you can, make sure that when you do have them, you’re getting some food,too.

Other Acids

Ok this next part is going to deal with eating disorders. I’m going to be talking about some of the side effects of bulimia, what they can do to your teeth, and how you can take care of them. Eating disorders are serious business and I hope if you need this section you are in supportive recovery and have the love and support and resources you need. If you don’t want to read about what this can do to your teeth, scroll real quick until you seen the big green text.

If your teeth are in frequent contact with stomach acid, acid etching can be a real problem. Your enamel is tough but stomach acid is gnarly, and your gums don’t have that same protection. If you find yourself vomiting frequently, for whatever reason, try to swish water around in your mouth afterwards to help clean it out. I know that’s not the thing that’s likely on your mind after that, but a lot of what we’re doing here is damage control. I’m not here to judge you in the slightest. I’m just here to help you with your teeth.

Do not brush your teeth immediately after vomiting. The enamel is weaker, and you can cause even more damage by brushing too hard. Wait for at least an hour until after you’ve rinsed your mouth to avoid spreading the acid around.

You can also add some (1-2 tsp) baking soda to the water you rinse with, if you feel ok with doing that. It will taste gross and salty but it will help neutralize the acid. You just rinse with this, you don’t swallow.

ok that part is over

TOOTH HACKS

This is the funnest part, I get to tell you good ways to take care of your teeth that require very few spoons and very little money!

Brush ‘em twice a day. Once when you get up to clear out whatever happened the night before, and once before you fall asleep. You can brush more but you don’t have to. Use a soft-bristled brush and whatever toothpaste you like. If you hate mint, kid toothpaste that tastes like bubblegum or berries is totally fine!

Don’t want to get out of bed? totally fine. Use a finger toothbrush! these are designed for babies which is actually great because they are SUPER soft. If you have sensitive gums, these are going to be really helpful.

Don’t have access to a finger toothbrush? honest to god you can just dip your finger in water (though a mix of water and baking soda or water and salt is better) and brush your teeth with just your finger. The point of this isn’t to freshen your breath or anything, it’s just to get the biofilm off of your teeth and protect them.

Floss. This gets the biofilm out from between your teeth and promotes good gum health. Don’t just run it between the teeth- you need to floss below the gumline a little bit to help clean out plaque.

If you don’t have the spoons to do your whole mouth, floss between your molars if you can.

There’s lots of products that are great for people who can’t go through the whole flossing routine. Pre-threaded flossers are ideal because they’re designed for minimal effort and maximum gain. These are also killer for people with physical disabilities that affect hand dexterity.

If flossing hurts because you have sensitive gums, a water flosser can really help. This is more expensive but will last a very long time.

You can also get topical numbing gel that you can smear on your gums when flossing. Just be careful that you’re not flossing too hard because you can’t feel it. This brand is kind of expensive but it has a nice minty flavor. If you have a dollar and a way to get there, I saw Orajel at Dollar Tree yesterday… when I was buying a bunch of those pre-threaded flossers to throw in my car. I oughta do a Dollar Tree field trip to show you like, what products are available at the absolute cheapest in the US. Dollar Tree has a LOT of good dental options.

There’s a tiktok that says you can use a strand of hair to floss. This is a bad idea. A single strand of hair is likely to break and can cut into your gums. If you want to use hair as floss, you need to use a couple of strands twisted together. Go slow and gentle if you’re using hair. Obviously actual floss is better but this isn’t “perfect dental tips for perfect people,” this is “life sucks but your teeth don’t gotta.”

If you can’t floss or can’t brush, gargle. Put two tsp of baking soda in a glass of warm water. Swish it around, spit it out. If you can do that, you’ve helped clear out biofilm and bacterial waste.

Prioritize your teeth. You only get two sets and you lose the first one by the time you’re twelve. If you can only do one hygiene thing today, make it be your teeth.

Eat some pineapple. Bromelain, which is only found in pineapple, is super good at protecting enamel.

That’s… all I got for you now. Take care of your teeth!

skyrim is incredible because its the kind of game where you can kill like five extremely high-ranking members of the empire and it changes literally nothing about the civil war going on half an hour away

young lady with a hearing aid 🍊🦻🏾 

“Death is a rare mercy” Alright folks, time to add a new quote to the list of things that go hard and sound like they’re from classic lit, but actually come from unexpected places

I want to be more masculine so how can I change the way u act to be more like a guy. I remember one time where passed but people found out I was afab because I was more feminine. So how do I come off as a boy, I hope ysll got some advice <3

- A trans

Binding

Clothing

Facial hair

Masculine makeup

Getting short hair / Masculine long hair

Lowering your voice

Passing as male

FTM Guide

Thank You - Loki X Reader (NSFW)

Author’s Note: Hope you enjoy ! Some Loki smut for all you dirties. Sorry it took so long, by the way.

Warning: smut, NSFW, slightly dominant reader, then Loki, oral on a man

Request: I! Can you write a Loki imagine about him protecting her from an enemy? I got this idea from a person’s request:p

AND

LOKI SMUT PLEASE

Words: 1,355

You were surprised when Thor brought Loki to fight with the rest of the team. Not that it was a bad thing. You found yourself incredible attracted to the god, but kept your feelings to yourself. He was cold and sarcastic and you knew that he would never be interested in a measly human like you. His dislike for the human race wasn’t necessarily a secret.

The mission involved a large group of super soldiers created by HYDRA and aliens. You didn’t even want to rationalize how these two groups decided to work together. Instead, you focused on helping beat them and keeping civilians safe.

The fight was long. You all had underestimated how many enemies you would have and the team was definitely on the smaller side in comparison. You shot your gun to as many HYDRA and alien bodies as you could. If anyone crossed your path, you would shoot. You were grateful for thinking of bringing extra ammunition.

You were too preoccupies shooting at whatever was in front of you that you completely forgot to cover your back. You were an agent, you were trained for missions like this and when you heard a bullet shoot and whiz past your ear, you cursed yourself for being so stupid.

“Shit,” you said, turning and shooting at the soldier that shot at you. You fired your gun at him and you watched him go down. Another soldier showed up after him ad you tried to fire, but you were out of rounds. Your heart leaped to your chest as you tried to reload your gun as fast as possible.

You weren’t quick enough and the bullet shot out of the man’s gun in slow motion. The bullet approached you and your limbs felt like cement and you couldn’t even move. You knew that there was no way that bullet wouldn’t hit you.

Until you saw it curve. You questioned gravity, physics, everything you could think of. You couldn’t understand how exactly a bullet curved in mid air, back towards the soldier that shot it. You looked around and were surprised to find Loki making his way towards you.

You glanced at you as he continued to fight, using his magic, and you were slightly confused. He looked upset, but he didn’t say anything, so neither did you. You turned around, finished reloading your gun, and continued to fight

After hours, you were done. The fight was finished and you were grateful the team only suffered minor injuries. You all got lucky this time.

On the way back to the Avengers base, you kept glancing at Loki, who kept staring at you, his brows still furrowed and he looked very upset. You wanted to talk to him, but you felt awkward and you didn’t exactly know what to say to him.

You all arrived to the base and you all started walking towards your rooms.

You saw Loki walk with Thor towards their temporary room and you jogged after them.

“Hey, wait up!” you called and they both turned to face you.

“Lady (Y/N)!” Thor exclaimed, “you fought valiantly.”

You smiled at him. “Thanks, Thor. Um, I was hoping I could talk to Loki.”

You glanced at the blue eyed god and he was staring at you intently. Thor clapped him in the shoulder and continued making his way to his room, Loki staying behind.

“yes?” he spoke, his voice clear and smooth.

You turned towards him and blushed. “Um, I wanted to thank you…for saving me.”

His stoic expression didn’t change. “Is that all?”

You didn’t want this to be the first and last conversation with the man, so you quickly thought of something to say.

“Why’d you do it?”

He smirked at you, a devious look in his eyes and you felt yourself grow even more attracted to him.

“Because I didn’t want anything to happen to you,” he said and you were surprised at how sweet his words were.

“Not before I did this,” he continued and you felt his lips slam against your own. Your entire body grew warm and you quickly kissed him back, tangling your hands in his hair.

You pulled away to take a shuddering breath in. “You like me?”

“No, I kiss everyone I meet,” he answered, smirking at you.

“I hope that’s a lie,” you said and he shrugged, raising an eyebrow at you.

“And why is that?”

“Because I wanted to thank you the proper way,” you said, gaining some confidence now that you knew he was attracted to you.

You grabbed his hand and pulled him into the nearest room in the hall. The room was empty and you assumed it was a vacant one. You turned towards him once more once you locked the door behind you and he let you push him on the bed.

He could have easily overpowered you, but he didn’t, clearly enjoying watching you in control. You crawled on top of him, straddling his slim hips and leaned down to kiss him again. The kisses became increasingly passionate and you felt a familiar heat pool in your lower abdomen.

You came back up, taking off your shirt and he leaned upwards, too, following your example. His lean body was perfect in your eyes and you felt your excitement grow.

You gently ran your fingertips over his skin and you could have sworn you felt him shudder.

“Sit on the edge of the bed,” you said, standing up from your position and proceeded to take off your pants. “And take your pants off.”

He seemed amused at how dominant you were being, but didn’t question your desires. You took your bra off, staying in your panties and turned to find him sitting there in all his glory, completely naked. You were pleased to find him completely erect and felt proud of yourself for making him that excited.

You kneeled next to him and he looked at you, slightly confused. Apparently, no one had done this for him before.

One of your hands wrapped around his member and you felt him twitch. You started pumping your hand, up and down, and smirked at Loki, who’s eyebrows were furrowed once again and he was biting his lips. His bright blue eyes looked almost black and his pupils were dilated almost completely.

“Really, Loki, thank you for saving me,” you said, in the most seductive tone you could manage.

“You have nothing to thank me for,” he groaned out.

“Of course I do, Loki,” you responded and leaned upwards to take his dick into your mouth. You heard him groan quietly and felt his hands go to your hair to hold you in place. You started to suck gently on it, slowly increasing your speed until he was groaning uncontrollably. You felt empowered that you had made the always in-control Loki into the moaning mess he currently was.

You penis started twitching and you knew he was close, so you released him with a ‘pop’. You leaned back and smirked at him once he focused his eyes on you. He stood abruptly and picked you up roughly, bending you over the table in the room. You felt his hand rub against your cunt through your soaked underwear and you let out a moan. You felt him move the material aside and he quickly entered you from behind.

The sudden intrusion and his size made you groan in slight pain, but you got used to the feeling quickly and when he started thrusting, you moaned in pleasure. One of his hands gripped your waist tightly and the other reached around to rub your clit. The explosion of pleasure in your lower regions made your vision go black and your orgasm came over you unexpectedly.

He continued to thrust, dragging your pleasure further and you felt him groan as he came.

He stepped away from you, his penis sliding out of your wetness. You turned to face him and he was smirking, the devious look in his eye once again. He gave your body a once over.

“I should save your life more often." 

Scott: What do we have today... Hmmm, Charles, Charles, Charles, Charles, Logan, Charles, Erik, Charles and Charles.

Kurt: Is that your date list?

Logan: *Splits drink*

Charles: I beg your pardon, Enderman, but I am mentally flirting with Erik at the moment. So I am

T a k e n.

you have no idea what i wouldn't give just for them to have more scenes together

Bruises and Baths

Author’s Note:  Hello everyone!  Something amazing happened over this last weekend.  While millions were watching the “Big Game” some of my mutuals came up with a wonderful way to honor the amazing, talented writers here on tumblr.  @authorspotlight​ is a blog for showcasing a weekly author, at random, just to promote their great work and keep the haters at bay!  Interested?  Follow that blog!  We’ve a great little community starting up and I would love, love, love to see you all there!! P.S. Comments, shares, reblogs are appreciated!!  I love the love!! P.P.S. shout out to the creator of this amazing gif!  >swoon< Summary/ Request:  This story came from a request by one of my sweet little followers.  After a wild night with Loki, you, dear reader are sore and tired.  What does aftercare look like from the God of Lies? Pairing:  Loki x Female Reader Warnings:  References bondage, rough SMUT, then just fluffy, lovey, romantic SMUT

As the back of your thighs met the supple leather of the conference room chair you nearly cried out.  Memories from last night made your knees weak and your panties damp as a jolt of pain shot through you.  It had been like this all day, fraying your nerves and your patience.

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