Me When People Try To Take My Food

Ughhh

Give me this King of Hell sitting on his throne, thighs open in a man spread. He's got a gold chain of a soul binding wrapped around your neck connecting you to him as he pulls you closer with your knees running into the carpet, a playful smirk laying on his lips as he growls, "Now now, don't forget you're mine, forever,"

🙌🏻❤️😭

TITLE: lights will guide you home

PAIRING: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

SUMMARY: Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates.

At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways.

You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children.

(In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)

TAGS: soulmate au, trope inversion/subversion, slow burn, getting together, falling in love, fluff, aged up characters, pro-hero characters, eventual smut, mild bullying

STATUS: Ongoing

WORD COUNT: 22.1K

Chapter One: In which you meet your soulmate, and he’s nothing like you dreamed about. Chapter Two: In which you get your bok choy (mission accomplished), grapple with old feelings you have about Bakugou, and experience new ones. Chapter Three: In which you and Bakugou get coffee, and you really don't know what to make of him. Chapter Four: In which you bump into Pro-Hero Dynamight on the street, and he invites himself on your errand. Chapter Five: In which Bakugou does something nice and proves that he's grumpy not just in-person but through texts, too. Chapter Six: In which Japan thinks you're dating Pro-Hero Dynamight, and you desperately need that to not be a thing. Chapter Seven: In which Bakugou has a kitten photoshoot in your apartment. Chapter Eight: In which Bakugou continues to feed you, and you have a realization: He’s handsome, it dawns on you. It’s like wires rearrange in your head, and you can’t stop looking at him. Chapter Nine: In which you find out running away from Bakugou is a bad idea, you become a familiar face at his agency, and he finds a way, as always, to make you feel cared for.

Read on AO3

Aaghhh we're an asshole, he tried so hard 😭

a part 2 for terrible liar? maybe some sibling reactions, neytiri and jake reactions, tsireya reactions .. perhaps jake and tonowari making a deal??

a/n: Now that I read this again, I kinda forgot Neytiri, but there u go hun!

~ AONUNG X FEM! SULLY! READER ~

Terrible liar (pt. 2)

includes: quality time, kissing, cuddling, teasing, bonding, fluff, jake being the typical 'you'll have my daughter home at 8'-dad

SFW

2.5k words

____________________

It had come to everyone's attention that you and Ao'nung started to spend even more time with each other and that at least a little amount of his mocking and pestering seemed to have found an end.

Some time had passed since the two of you had talked everything out. More and more you joined Ao'nungs family for dinner and the news were spreading rapidly; the chief's son had found a mate.

"I still can't believe it. You got yourself a man." Kiri shook her head in disbelief.

"Not just any man, but the future clan leader." Neteyam corrected prouldy while patting your shoulder.

Lo'ak only make choking sounds, he still didn't trust Ao'nung completely, even though he tried his best to befriend his family as well, even if it was only for Tsireya.

"Does that mean you will marry Ao'nung and have a family with him?" Tuk asked innocently, to which Lo'ak gagging sounds only intensified.

You blushed at the thought of that and shrugged, unable to hide your smile.

"Probably one day. But we're not even mated, so maybe when he's through with his iknimaya, in some years."

Neteyam smiled at you proudly. He was sure you'd be a good tsahik for the metkayina clan one day.

"Don't you think it's going a bit fast?" Kiri asked as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Mom and dad had Neteyam one year after meeting each other. You don't have to be a genius to calculate this" you answered, so she just agreed and nodded.

"I'm bored..." Tuk suddenly complained, tugging at your hair strands gently to get more attention.

Just as you wanted to speak up you heard Ao'nungs voice echo through the air. He stood at the entrance of the marui, peeking his head in.

"Would a round of hide and seek help? I could show you the best places, noone will ever find you there."

All of your siblings, including you, turned your heads around to face him.

A wide smile appeared on your face as you saw him, so you got up and greeted him with a peck on his cheek and a loose arm around his waist.

"Not even Neteyam?" Tuk's eyes widened in excitement.

"Not even Neteyam."

You felt your heart getting all warm and your stomach tingled. It was the first time Ao'nung had actively seeked out your family to spend time with them too. After all, they were a part of his life now as well.

Tuk jumped in excitement, begging you and your brothers to join. Since it would be a nice bonding activity you agreed, hoping to see him and your family having fun together.

"Well, what are we waiting for?"

Before you could even finish the sentence, your youngest sister cheered and jumped, running out of the marui as quickly as she could.

Neteyam joined right away, even Lo'ak was somehow up for this and joined. Kiri rolled her eyes a bit before following everyone outside.

"You'll get 30 seconds to hide, then (Y/N) and I come to find you all, how about that?"

Ao'nung gave you a smile which already gave away that he was up to something. Nonetheless, he started counting and everybody started to spread, looking for a place to hide.

Once your siblings were out of range, the young man stopped counting and pulled you closer by your waist, only to spread a few kisses along your jaw and cheek.

"Mmh, I've missed you all day..." he purred, his hands roamed your body carefully. This alone covered your entire being in goosebumps while your tail whipped at his touch.

"Don't tell me you wanted to play hide and seek to have me all for yourself?"  As he pressed a few more kisses onto your jaw you could practically feel him smirk against your skin.

"Am I not allowed to spend some time with my girlfriend after a hard day of training?"

All you could do was giggle as he pulled you closer and kissed down to your neck as if he was love-starved.

"Hey, no hickeys!" you hissed giggling once his teeth met your skin, leading you to push him off gently.

"I know, your father's gonna kill you" he sighed, not letting go of you so easily.

"No, he's gonna kill you, my love."

Ao'nung shamelessly continued to spread kisses on your neck, carefully sucking and nipping at your skin, until you noticed someone approaching and watching you. Speaking of the devil.

"Ao'nung-"

"Calm down, I'm careful."

"I know but-"

"Just relax and enjoy, hmm?"

You tried to push him off once more but the guy only pulled you closer, caging you in his embrace even more.

"Care to explain what you're doing with my daughter?" your father's voice emerged from behind your boyfriend, who turned around at the sound instantly, blinking with his eyes wide open in surprise.

It took a while for him to finally say something.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Sully."

He brought up all the courage he had to look into Jakes eyes. After all, he couldn't be worse than his mother, he thought, still embarrassed that he had caught him kissing you like this.

"There are rules in this house, even for you."

Jake towered him with his chest puffed and the most serious face.

"Yes, I understand."

"Dad, please." you growled in english, hoping he wouldn't be too harsh on your boyfriend. If you weren't there, he would've lectured him where he stood, but because of your presence he decided to let it slip just this once.

"We're gonna have a talk about this later, baby girl."

"Sure..." you reached out to Ao'nungs hand and dragged him with you carefully.

While you were looking for your siblings together, Ao'nung finally found his voice again. "I heard him talk to my father this morning."

Confusion laced your expression. What could his dad probably have to say to yours? Ao'nungs eyes scanned through the surroundings, but it seemed as if you were all alone.

"They talked about us, saying something about a deal."

"A deal?" you repeated with furrowed eyebrows.

"Mhm. Can't say much of what exactly they talked about though. But I'd rather have our fathers talk about us than our mothers." You could only agree to that. The thought of Neytiri and Ronal interacting was never really pleasant.

While you kept walking around to find your siblings, Ao'nung suddenly stopped you and looked around. Both of you had pathed away from the village and into the mangroves.

That smug grin he always wore with pride returned before he trapped you in between a sturdy mangrove root and himself.

"But they won't annoy us here."

Once more, you felt his lips capture the skin of your neck. He let his mouth travel over your neck and up your jawbone again while his arms sneaked around your waist.

Many times, when training got frustrating, exhausting or just annoying in general, exchanging little touches and kisses with you helped him to calm down and maintain sanity.

He sighed against your shoulder while his hands roamed over your back.

"Once I'm done with my iknimaya-", a few more kisses up to your temples followed, "I'll get my own marui. With you." The thought of sharing a home with him felt pleasantly warm. It excited you almost.

"That sounds lovely, Ao'nung."

"Say my name again~" he purred into your ear before gently nipping at it.

To others, it probably seemed like this was something erotic, the kisses, touches and the way he loved how you said his name, but sometimes he just needed all of this for his ego.

Both arms wrapped around his neck as you leaned in on him, wetting your lips once. He couldn't help but groan softly when his name rolled off your tongue so perfectly, his eyes fell shut at the sound of your voice.

It filled him with pride to hear you whispering his name like a prayer to Eywa. His entire body was covered in goosebumps and he shuddered ever so lightly.

"Okay, this is stupid, please let me get out of here before I have to witness my sister getting impregnated." you suddenly heard Kiri call out from behind a tree. She revealed herself and started to walk back to the village.

Immediately pushing Ao'nung away gently, you felt your cheeks starting to burn.

"What? No, I- we weren't-! y-you're not gonna tell dad, are you?"

Kiri actually considered it for a moment since she still wasn't too sure about Ao'nung. He had mocked the Sullys for quite a while.

"I might."

You wanted to run after her and stop her, but Ao'nung just grinned and held you in his arms.

"Go ahead. And while you're at it, why don't you tell him about Rotxo?"

Your sister froze right where she stood. Her intense stare was deadly, but Ao'nung wasn't impressed at all. He was way too informed.

"Would be a shame if we would bave to tell him-"

"Alright fine!" Kiri quickly stomped back to the village, trying to hide her embarrassed face.

"So, where were we?"

~~~~~

"It's always a pleasure to have you here." Tonowari said smiling as you and Ao'nung entered his family's marui.

You couldn't help but copy his expression. His parents always took you in so friendly, the thought of them being a part of your life too filled your heart with joy.

"Actually we just came to pick this up" Ao'nung made his way over to his mat and grabbed a woven basket filled with fruits, berries, herbs and a few handy utensils along with some selfmade lucky charms.

Tsireya also just came back to the marui together with her mother and greeted you with a short hug as you still stood by the entrance.

"When are you moving in?" she joked with a smile. It was true that you joined them for dinner or just in general almost daily. She loved to see her brother warming up a bit, he seemed to grow up.

She had noticed very early on that Ao'nung treated you different than anyone else, he behaved unlike anytime before. When he had tried to hate you, she could read from his eyes how much he liked you already.

Even if you and her brother weren't mated or married, she already saw you as a family member she could chat with, braid each other's hair and dive through the reefs. Sometimes Ao'nung was almost jealous of having to share you with his sister.

"How about you move in with Lo'ak in our marui and I take your place here?" you whispered into her ear, watching her blush. She couldn't help but giggle shyly at the thought of that, so she changed the topic quickly.

"Are you joining us for dinner?" She asked kindly, to which you nodded.

"We just wanted to bring this to her family-" but before your boyfriend could end his sentence, his father spoke up.

"Ao'nung, you will do that alone. I'm sure Jake would like to have a talk with you, from man to man."

Ao'nung only gave you an insecure look, lips pursed.

"You got this. I believe in you."

He huffed at your words before you pecked his cheek, stroking over his back a few times.

Tonowari and Ronal were not as strict as your parents when it came to physical contact between the two of you.

In fact, they actually adored watching the love you felt for each other blossom with every touch, kiss or hug. This side of their son was new to them as well, yet they highly appreciated how he had changed since he opened up to you.

Praying to Eywa that everything would work out fine, you followed him with your eyes.

"My dear, why don't you sit and dine with us? Tell us about your day."

Tonowari said ever so friendly, offering you a place to sit down.

~~~~~

It was getting late already, but it was nothing new for you to get home after the eclipse. As you returned to your family, Ao'nung was still with them. The atmosphere was not as relaxed as the one around you with his family.

"I'm back." you said quickly before scanning the room. Your siblings had a hard time not bursting out laughing at the sight of you.

"Sit." Jake ordered harshly, and you did, wondering why. Had Ao'nung done something wrong?

Your boyfriend turned his face towards you slowly, the look on his face was pretty similar to your father's one.

"Hello, (Y/N). Good to see you."

Your eyes widened as you finally understood what was going on.

Ao'nung spoke in english.

The few things you had taught him absolutely did not mean what he thought they did.

"See, I tried to impress your family with the bit of english I learned from you. Instead I told them that I stink and that I'm an idiot. Thank you very much, (Y/N)."

"He told mom that he's an ugly fish lip and called dad a pussy." Neteyam cried out laughing, wiping the tears from his eyes.

As hard as you tried, you bit back a grin, but seeing Ao'nungs stupid face stare at you in anger didn't help at all.

You couldn't help but apologize quietly while holding your laughter back.

"I better get back home." he growled in annoyance, still being pissed and embarrassed. With that he got up from the ground and gave your parents and siblings a quick nod.

"Good night, Mr. Sully, Mrs. Sully.

Good night guys."

He was an impressively fast learner, his pronunciation was very good as well.

As he made his way out the marui you got up and followed him out, grabbing his hand just before he could stomp off.

"Wait, please-"

"You probably had the nicest evening with my family while I sat here with yours, saying stupid things all night long. I wanted to show them my respect so that they accept me and you don't get into trouble!" he hissed as you were out of range, away from your marui.

"Ao'nung please, I'm sorry. I never thought you would remember this anyway... but you kind of deserved that back then."

A sigh left his lips. He couldn't be too mad at you for long.

Closing the distance between you and him, you pulled him into a hug, giving him a sweet apologetic look.

"I'm truly sorry, Ao'nung..." you repeated, tracing over his back gently.

"You'll pay for this, you know that."

His words sent shivers down your spine, followed by his hands which attacked your sides with ferocious tickles.

It only lasted for a few seconds before he looked deeply into your eyes, falling love all over again.

"I have to get up early for training. I should go to sleep."

You frowned a bit at his statement, not wanting him to leave just yet, but you definitely understood that he needed his sleep.

"Take care of yourself, alright?"

Aonung approved with a nod before he closed the space between you and him, giving you a loving kiss that made your heart flutter. And again, he surprised you with how fast he hearned english.

"i love you."

__________________

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heyyy

so in a comment you said u posted part three of the clouds series but I can't find it anywhere. did anything happen to it, I really love the series

https://at.tumblr.com/ohdeersthings/im-a-moron-who-forgot-to-do-tags/9hm6j6xp60t1

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DO TAGS 😂 AND IM STILL LEARNING HOW TO DO A CLICK LINK WITH THE TEXT A CERTAIN WAY

You won't regret it 😘❤🖤❤🖤🔥

Arrangements

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x f!Reader

Warnings: SMUT. Minors DNI. TW: Cheating, Loveless Relationship, Verbal Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Toxic Parents

Contains: Arrangement relationships, Dom/Sub dynamics, nicknames/pet names (Princess, Sir, Dummy -but in a loving way-), Oral (F Receiving), Begging, Rough-ish Sex, Some Spanks, Instructed Masturbation, Bakugo gets possessive...

Summary: Bakugo finds out your parents set you up in a quirk arrangement with Monoma of all people. Not long after, you and Bakugo enter a bit of an arrangement too, of the more fun variety. Things start up in your final year at UA but graduation doesn't put an end to things for you two.

WC: 4,837

A/N: This is basically smut with some plot to it. A vague sort of idea that I'm considering making into something more but I also could just let it end here. It's been in my head for quite some time and I needed it out lol. Characters start off at 18 and are 23 by the end of this piece.

The idea of dating and relationships ever appealed to Katsuki Bakugo. Even in high school, he considered it all to be a distraction, something that took focus away from his main goal in life of being the number one hero. It was never that he couldn't date, it was simply he didn't want to.

And then there was you. Because you were different. Because he couldn't actually have you.

In the exact same classes for three years, sitting just a row away from him, you seemed like just another ordinary student, that's what he thought at least. You had a strong quirk that you had very good control over and were good with course work too. It wasn't until third year that his impression changed.

You'd become friends with Kirishima, close friends, to the point whispers started about the two of you being a thing. But, Bakugo was never one for rumors, he paid them no mind. What did piss him off was what he heard after class one fall afternoon.

"You're not better than me, never forget that, Y/N." It was Monoma, "Don't bother getting close with anyone in that damn class, not that rock for brains idiot especially. It'll be bad for our image." Bakugo stayed hidden but he heard the shuffling of fabric and you gasp. "You're mine, remember that."

Another shuffle before a single set of footsteps casually went off down the hall.

He shouldn't have care, he didn't really know why he did. But, you're mine, what did that even mean? Were you dating him? You acted like you despised Monoma just as much of the rest of the class did...

Then Bakugo heard it, just a single sob. Only one. He'd never heard you cry before, hadn't seen it either and you'd been through a lot, your entire class had.

He rounded the corner without thinking about it and you hadn't even noticed him. Head hung low, your shirt had come untucked from your skirt and the collar was rumbled.

It might have been a slow process but, Bakugo had grown a bit in the last three years. Enough that he offered you a hand, "Come on." You looked up at him with startled eyes, "Don't think you wanna have a break down in the hallway. So come on."

You took up your bag and grabbed his hand, letting him lead you into an empty classroom. "The fuck was that about?"

"N-no one at school knows... 'Sept Kiri does."

Bakugo was a little surprised the redhead was able to keep a secret like this, especially from him. "That you're dating that pretentious jack ass?"

"'S not that exactly."

"Then what is it exactly?"

Your hands strangled the strap of your bag, unable to make eye contact with him. The fuck was goin' on? You were usually so confident, lighthearted, this wasn't anything like you.

He grabbed your hands. "Talk, Y/N. If he's forcin' you into something I'll blow his ass to pieces-"

"No, you've got it sorta wrong. It's not Monoma. It-it's our families. We're in a quirk arrangement. We're supposed to be married, you know, all that stuff..."

"What are you, a damn princess?" A quirk marriage? Those were still a thing? How fucking archaic. Todoroki was the product of one but he didn't actually think people still used them.

"Very funny. Monoma, he just, he wants our image to be spotless. Completely perfect. And that means nothing can be assumed about either one of us being with anyone prior to our own time. We aren't expected to marry until we're 25, thankfully." You let out a bit of a chuckle. "If he found out I was in here alone with you though, ha, he'd have a fit! Our families probably would too."

"So, you're not supposed to be involved with anyone? Either of you?" He had to clarify and sure enough, you nodded your head. "Tsk, he probably shouldn't have been makin out with fuckin' horns then."

You choked. "A-Ashido?"

"Wha? Fuck no! And not shitty hair either! I mean the one in class B!"

He watched to color slowly drain from your face. "How do you know?"

"Saw 'em myself. Probably shouldn't try to fuck in the locker room if he wants to not be caught."

Damn. You looked like you were about to pass out. Maybe he should have told you when you had a chair to fall into. But, as quickly as it had come, it passed. You were, holy shit, you were hugging him!

"Thank you! Bakugo, you have no idea how great this is! Thank you! I might be able to get out of this now!"

There was no time for him to even react before you were pulling away and running out the door.

>>><<<

The noose around your neck, the same one that had been there since were ten years old, tightened ever more on the train ride back from your parents.

You begged them to listen. Begged them to take Monoma's actions more seriously but they didn't care. It wasn't you that messed up. It wasn't their daughter out sleeping around. You had to be loyal. You had to be perfect.

And you were so done with being perfect.

But you couldn't leave the arrangement either. They made it clear that if you did, they'd just simply promise your little sister off to Monoma's brother instead and there was no way in hell you were pushing this on your sweet baby sister.

>>><<<

It was after ten when you got back to the dorms. You knew he'd been in his room, maybe even asleep, but you didn't care. You were livid. And there was exactly one person you knew who could match your level of anger.

"Train with me." You insisted when Bakugo opened his door. He was in sweats and a tank top but he didn't look drowsy.

"No."

"Bakugo."

"Y/N."

You folded your arms over your chest. Not in the mood. "Fine, fuckin whatever. I'll go get Kiri then..."

You already started walked to the neighboring room but Bakugo leaned on his door frame. "Shitty hair's gonna make you talk about it."

"You're probably right."

"You don't look like you wanna talk."

"I don't want to talk. I wanna kick someone's ass!"

Bakugo stepped out of his room. "And you thought to ask me? You think you can kick my ass?"

"I've done it before."

It wasn't easy by any means to best Bakugo, but you weren't looking for an easy fight. You didn't want someone to coddle you or try to make you feel better right now. If you did, you would have gone straight for Kirishima.

He stood in front of you now, hands on his hips, looking down with piercing red eyes. "Fine. Training yard. Ten minutes. No quirks though. Beat me without yours."

Now that was going to be challenging but you accepted.

You hadn't wasted any time going out to the yard. Slipping by the rest of your classmates to avoid any questions. Bakugo was right on time, hands in his pockets look about as disinterested as he usually did.

"I'm only doin' this on one condition."

"And what's that?"

"If I pin you three times, you gotta tell me what happened when you ran off."

"What if I pin you three times? Then what?"

"Whatever you want."

Whatever you wanted? That was a lot of power but then you realized, he didn't think there was any way you would win.

"Fine. I wanna kiss you. No, no no. I wanna make out with you, yeah." You'd get even with Monoma. And with someone, he hated no less.

Bakugo shrugged as if it was no big deal, but it was obvious the slight widening of his pupils, you'd caught him off guard.

"Fine by me, Princess. Three pins for a win. No quirks."

"Deal."

You each took your stance, and you weren't waiting any longer. Temper boiled over and you charged at him but all he did was dodge out of the way. Dodge and then grab you by the back of the shirt before you could spin around. With a strong thrust, he had your back slammed into the ground.

Before you could even think about scrambling away, he had both your wrists pinned above your head and shins over both ankles.

"Fighting angry doesn't work for you, Princess. Gotta use that damn brain of yours."

You writhed and tried to thrust your hips into a bridge but his grip was too good. As soon as the eight-count was up, he returned to his starting spot without another word.

Letting him come for you was the easiest way to get Bakugo on the floor. Out-smarting him was another way to throw him off his game. You shook off the rage from your parents. Exhaled slowly, and dropped back into your stance.

This time, he came for you. Throwing two quick punches in succession and then a third landed against your rips. You recovered quickly by ducking slow and working his torso, aiming for the points you remembered Kirishima hitting him during training in class earlier that day. They had to still be sore.

It might have been a cheap way to play but it was effective. You landed three hits and a kick before he grabbed your ankle in mid-air, sneering for just a second and then flipping you back on the ground. But, you wouldn't be taken so easily this time.

Bakugo's shirt had ridden up and you could see the purplish bruise along his right side. Before he could trap your legs, you wound them around his middle, squeezing tightly, "Fuck." He bit out but didn't relent.

Tight your snared your legs and tighter he gripped your wrists. You were hurting him, you had to be but you wouldn't give in. You had payback to win and you were going to use Bakugo to get it. He gave out, tipping forward and you jerked your wrists hard using his sweat-slicked hands to your advantage and slipping free.

A knee to his lower back, you pulled his arm behind him and started the count while he chuckled. "That's more like it."

You worked his injuries to earn you another point. Tougher a second time since he picked on your weak leg where Sero had grabbed you earlier making you fall.

The fourth match went to him. Bakugo no longer playing around, he went right for the kill as if to remind you how easily you were to best. He sprinted forward and went for your thighs. Lifting you in the air and then taking you down to the ground in one swift motion. Counting down while you struggled, sweat dripping off his nose and mingling with your own.

You were two for two. The next match would decide it.

One more time, you stood apart from each other. You weren't ready to talk about it. You weren't ready to explain how your parents practically gave Monoma permission to do what and who he pleased while you had to be loyal and faithful for the rest of your damn life. No. You just wanted to win. And have Bakugo kiss you until you forgot about everything.

That was why you ran for him, sliding low at the last second between sturdy legs and kicked with everything you had. He went down to his knees and you tried tackling him forward but he reached behind him, finding a good hold, and hauled you over his shoulder.

The world spun and then slammed to a halt leaving you looking up at a sweaty, smirking Bakugo.

Cocky bastard.

You flipped your legs up hooking him in your hold and finally twisting until he was back down. "Got you now." You had him between your thighs while his hands helplessly pulled against you for the remaining countdown.

Your legs relaxed and Bakugo gasped, resting his head against the fat of your thigh while you both caught your breath.

"You fuckin' won."

"Damn right I did. Where's my prize, blasty pants?"

For a moment, you wondered if he was gonna back out. Scoff and walk off. You wouldn't have really blamed him because it wasn't like you were gonna force him into something he didn't want... you knew exactly what that was like and you wouldn't have wished that upon anyone.

He rolled off you, sat by your side. "That's really what you want?"

You nodded. "Don'tcha wanna ask someone else?"

"Nope. I'm askin' you."

"ButIhaven'tkissedanyonebefore."

"Excuse me? I think you might have sneezed."

Bakugo shoved your shoulder before repeating, "I've never kissed anyone. I'm sure I'd be good at it! Don't worry about that! But, if you wanted someone, you know, who knows..."

You broke out laughing. "I've only kissed Monoma. My expectations aren't exactly sky-high." Your fingers brushed against his in the dirt. Both of you looked a wreck but that didn't stop Bakugo from pressing his lips against yours with entirely too much force making your teeth clash when he landed on top of you.

"It's not a competition, Bakugo."

"Yeah, it is." He grumbled with his lips still on yours. "I gotta be better than him."

"Then you gotta relax." You placed a kiss on his cheek, and then his jaw, and a soft one against his lips, "See? Already better."

He was a fast learner. Actually listened to what you liked and applied it quickly. Bakugo grew bolder as the minutes passed, fingers warm on your skin when he ventured under your shirt and kisses wandering down your neck. He also learned he like you kissing the junction of his neck, the way you sucked at the skin there.

There were breathy little gasps he could get you to make and you sounded so soft for him.

You could have stayed there all night, the comfortable weight of him on top of you but any later and Iida was gonna send a search party.

You left the training yard with him, parted ways to shower, and then go off to your rooms as if nothing had happened. But, Bakugo laid atop his sheets unable to stop his mind from reeling. He pulled up your contact info on his phone and opened a new message.

You: If you need someone to take out your frustrations on, don't bother askin' shitty hair.

A response came in minutes later,

Y/N: I'll come to you first.

And you did. For the next five years...

>>><<<

Sneaking around was half the fun. Wigs, pretty dresses, and fancy suits. Hotel rooms booked under different names, in different cities. You and Bakugo grew together, we're closer than you and Monoma had ever been!

You'd fallen in love with a man you could never have but you didn't care.

Every time Monoma was caught with a new woman or tried belittling you, you remembered Bakugo. And tonight was no different.

You normally tried to plan meetups away from personal residences, it was easier that way but tonight had been especially bad.

You see, a man had asked for your number after you saved his daughter. He explained buying you a coffee was the very least he could do to show his gratitude. And you stupidly accepted his offer.

"That's why you became a hero, isn't it? Flirt and get guys to notice you because you need all that attention, don't you? You're never going to get it. Not from them. Not anyone. Not ever. Hell, I'm not even going to give it to you." His face inched closer, "Unless you beg me for it. Bet you wouldn't be so annoying if you were on your damn knees for me."

You closed your eyes while he spat his venom, let him rant until his words ran out and he left you outside the agency you worked for. Izuku asked if you were alright when you walked back in the office and you painted on your happy face, assuring him everything was fine before going to change into civilian clothes.

But, you didn't go home. You drove straight to Bakugo's place, his penthouse that he absolutely loved that overlooked the shining city lights.

You: I'm outside. I need you.

Blasty: You know the code.

He never gave you crap about coming over no matter how risky it was. He'd given you the code for the employee's entrance to his building and the service elevator. And, just like always, he was waiting for you the very moment you stepped off.

You sprung on him, leaving him to stumble backward with you in his arms until his back hit the wall. Fingers running up his front until you found the little silver zipper of his hoodie and pulled it down, reveling in the warmth of his skin, littered with scars of battles pasted underneath.

"Damn, Princess, what'd he do this time?"

He brushed your hair back meaning to kiss your neck but instead saw the wet streaks along your cheeks. "Seriously, Y/N, what'd he do?"

There was no use hiding it from him, Bakugo wouldn't let this go any further until you told him at least a hint of the truth. "Told me I'd never get attention from anyone, not unless I begged."

It'd become almost too easy to tell him the truth of things. He never pried but would talk if that's what you wanted. Usually, though, he was good at taking Monoma's shitty words and turning them into something so much better.

Rough thumbs cleared away your angry tears. "We'll see about that." He spun so you were pinned between his body and the wall. Bakugo's hand ghosted over your leg, dipping under your skirt to find the thin panties you wore.

"'M gonna make you wanna beg for me," A hard yank, and they were gone, Bakugo on his knees before you right in the entryway nudging your legs further and further apart to accommodate him, pressing wet kisses against soft flesh. "Beg for me to start," He shoved up your skirt and vanished under it, "Beg for more," Warm breath fanned out over you making your legs squeeze around his head, "Beg me until you just can't take it anymore."

"P-please." The pitiful plea fell from your lips. Because if it was Bakugo, you'd gladly beg. He put on a tough exterior, had many layers to break through, but he'd never leave you anything less than completely satisfied.

He nipped at your thigh, "Do better."

"Katsuki, please. I need it so bad. I need you. I wanna feel you, please, can I have you?"

"Good girl." You felt his words reverberate against your core just before his tongue rolled against your clit.

Five years gave the two of you a lot of time to get good at many things together, learning what the other likes, coming a long way from late-night, sloppy makeout sessions in the training yard.

Bakugo could have you coming undone in a matter of minutes now or he could drag it out of you for hours. And, judging by the slow, methodical licks he was giving you, this wasn't going to be a quick evening.

You whining when he resumed kissing your inner thighs, leaving you breathless and wanting so much more from him. "But why, Katsukiii, why'd you stop?"

"You stopped begging. Show me how needy you are and maybe I'll keep going."

There was no maybe about it. He didn't have all the power here. You grabbed the back of his head, a fist full of that light blonde hair, kept shorter now than in high school and pulled him from under your skirt so he'd look up at you. The right words were all Bakugo needed to lose control.

"Please, sir, I need you to make me cum. I need you to make me forget his name. I don't wanna remember it. Please, please, sir, fuck me until I can't remember Monoma, only you."

Slowly he stood until he was looking over you with a wicked snarl. "What's my fuckin' rule, Princess?"

You had to fight back a smile. One word. Just one name and he was all fired up. "I- I'm really sorry!"

You weren't, not at all.

"No one fuckin' says his name in my house. Damn, I really am gonna have to fuck you senseless, aren't I? Bed. Now."

Bakugo landed a smack right on your ass as you made a b-line right for his bedroom.

And, just as it did every single time you made your way into his private room, you gravitated to the floor to ceiling glass windows. Once you'd seen it, there was no doubt in your mind why Bakugo loved this place as much as he did. It took your breath away every single time.

You'd dreamed about him screwing you against the glass or sucking him off on the balcony beyond it but the risk of being caught had always been too great, even this high up.

"I said bed." His voice was low in your ear while he took your jacket off your shoulders. "Better listen."

He pulled your blouse up and over your head, removed your bra all before tugging his own pants down just enough to free his half-hardened cock.

Gods, you knew how it felt inside you, every vein and that upward tilt he had, it had you clenching at the very thought. "You want my cock? You know what to do."

He wanted a show and you'd give him one. One hand running down your body while the other stopped to tease your pebbled nipple. He sat in one of the highback chairs meant for TV watching after he spun it around. Legs stretched out while he gave himself slow, languid strokes.

Red eyes roamed your body. The way your fingers teased little circles before slipping one inside, a soft sigh going straight to his cock. Picking up the place, he watched the way you pinched and pulled at your nipples. You had every ounce of his attention.

"Remember his name?"

"Yes, sir."

"Add another finger then."

You did as you were told.

"Curl 'em up inside you. You can push them deeper than that."

Moans fell from your lips more freely, spurring him on further.

"That's it, princess. Still remember?"

"Yes, sir, I think I need your help, sir."

"I am helping. Add another. And don't stop messing with that pretty clit either."

Your third finger slid inside, pumping them in and out while your wetness gathered between your thighs. Your hips were rocking, abandoning your tits so your other hand could rub on your clit.

Higher you climbed, "Faster now," you couldn't even keep your eyes open to watch Bakugo stroke his fully erect cock anymore but damn did you wanna feel it.

"Please, sir, I need you!"

"'Course you do," The chair creaked and then you felt quirk-warmed hands on your legs, "Move. Both hands on your tits, now." Two of his own fingers filled you up just as much as three of yours had felt. Just longer, able to push in deeper, making your back arch up off the bed, head going fuzzy when his tongue found you again.

Harder you squeezed your chest, hips wiggling, desperate to reach your release. "Remember?" He grunted from between your legs.

A strangled, mhm, was all you could manage being so close. Crying when he added another thick digit with the others but it was exactly what you needed.

Wet fingers slid out just as you started to shake, both his hands slammed your thighs down on the bed, spread wide, while his tongue took you through your orgasm.

"And now?"

"Wha?"You mumbled still coming back down.

"Now we're getting somewhere."

Before you had a chance to fully calm down, Bakugo yanked you to the edge of the bed. Spinning you onto your stomach with ass perked up in the air. Smacking it just a little before taking his tip and running it against your still dripping folds.

You pushed back wanting more but he pulled himself away, "Ah-ah, what's his stupid fuckin name?"

"Um, Mon-"

Bakugo entered you with a single hard thrust, pulling out completely while you gasped. "But-But you asked!"

"Because I need to know-" Another thrust, "Just how hard-" Another, "I gotta go!"

His grip on your hips was bruising, bring your ass back, smacking against him each and every time until it was his name you were moaning. "Yeah, hah, that's it, princess. My fuckin' name. Not his."

He bent over top of you, hand against the back of your neck pinning you down. Bakugo picked up the pace, balls slapping against you with a steady rhythm.

"K-Kat Katsuki! Fuck, more, more, please. Yes, sir, please!"

He twitched inside and you kept begging. Anything to get more of him. His grip on your neck tightened and pulled you up, back against him while he fucked deeper. You were facing the windows, your reflection in the glass with tits bouncing and Bakugo's arm wrapped around your middle. His face buried in your neck.

"Want them to see you, don'tcha?" He knew exactly what you wanted, you'd talked about it enough, "Yeah, mmm, squeeze me tighter, naughty fuckin' woman!" You cam again at the thought of the cool glass on your tits, how it'd contrast with the very heat of him. "Fuck!"

He shoved you back down, relentless now, "Fucking hell, Kats, yes!" Tiny explosions released against your shoulders just seconds before he shot ropes inside of you.

Bakugo carefully laid you flat on your stomach, hips trusting lazily as he worked every last drop into you. He kissed between your shoulder blades and then each red mark he left on your shoulders. One at the center of your back, another just above your tailbone, and finally a playful smack of your ass before he pulled out.

"Remember?" He muttered, kissing below your ear.

"Nu-uh." Of course you did but Monoma was now in some very distant part of your mind. Completely overtaken by Bakugo.

"Good." He flipped you over and scooped you up into his arms, not giving a single damn about your combined releases currently leaking out of you and onto him.

He held you in his arms, while the bath water filled. Waiting for it to be warm enough to set you inside. When he finally did, you gave him a questioning look, why wasn't he joining you like he usually did and instead just using a washcloth.

"Dinner." He stated plainly.

"I haven't eaten yet."

"Yeah, I know. I heard your fuckin' stomach growling when I was eating you out." He tossed the soiled rag into the hamper.

"Well, that's embarrassing."

Bakugo placed a kiss on the crown of your head, "No, it's just you, you dummy. Now, sit here, fill it up with some bubbles or whatever and I'll come get ya when it's ready."

"Yes, sir!" You gave a mock salute but he cocked a slender blonde brow.

"Call me that again and dinner's gonna fuckin' wait."

You smiled, seriously considering it, but you did need food and Bakugo was the best cook you knew. "Maybe for dessert."

"Dummy..." He left with a laugh.

>>><<<

Bakugo had started food and changed the bedsheets while he heard you humming quietly to yourself in the bathroom. Ignoring the tug in his chest, reminding him how much he actually liked having you in his space no matter how much he tried denying it.

He returned to the food now sizzling in its pan when his phone rang.

"What's up, Shitty Hair?"

"Is Y/N with you! Been trying to call her but she's not answering me!"

Kirishima was the only person who knew yours and Bakugo's relationship was more than friends.

"Yeah. She's in the bath, why?"

"Put on the fuckin' news, now!"

"Fuckin' hell. What's so damn important! I'm tryin' to make some damn dinner..." He complained while he found the remote and flipped to one of the news stations.

"Just do it! And get Y/N too!"

He turned up the volume so he could hear what the reporter with yellow eyes was saying, "... It is official, legislation has just passed a law that quirk arrangements going forward that do not have both parties explicit consent will be void! Both parties must still be a minimum age of 25 to marry but now both must have verbal and written consent. If parents or guardians are found to be forcing their children into these relationships, forging documentation, and or tampering with the arrangement in any way, the penalty will be a minimum of 15 years jail time and..."

Bakugo dropped his phone with Kirishima still on the line.

You were free. They had nothing over you anymore. The one person he wanted that he was sure he could never fully have was free.

He sprinted for the bathroom calling your name.

The scarf alone 🥺🥵😍

Katsuki Bakugou icons

like/reblog if you save please

Float Like Clouds

Neteyam x F!Reader

Part 2 of: Soft as Clouds

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Soft as Clouds

Neteyam x F!Reader Summary: You weren't well known in the clan, and when you become friends with Tuk, no one believes her. Warning: Straig

Summary: Neteyam becomes a clumsy fool around you, and the clan has started to notice you more

Warning: Neteyam being clumsy asf, Reader being over-stimulated, was not proof read 😂

Note: BTW all my characters and the love interest from the movie/show are always aged up to 18+

Neteyam groaned into his hand, his body flush with humiliation. Ever since you started coming around more after that day when you brought Tuk back and he'd gotten to know you, he now thought you were the most precious thing in the world. The way you seemed to float by, an aura of peace and patience enveloping your whole essence.

Unfortunately that meant he embarrassed the shit out of himself every chance he got. Just moments ago he had tried to approach you to say hello but he tripped and while flailing his arms like an idiot to not fall, he grabbed the nearest thing which happened to have been a rope connected to a crate, pulling it ontop of himself and bashing his head.

Nearby girls and men his age had laughed under their breath, enjoying the sight of the future Olo'eyktan making himself look like a fool in front of the clans beauty, you holding that title now that attention has been shifted to you.

You however were worried and ran over, carefully brushing his braids back to examine his head and sighing in relief that Neteyam was alright. He ignored the others around and focused only on you, his palms becoming clammy and his nerves were on edge, but once you told him he was alright he found himself running off so he didn't have to look you in the eyes anymore.

The gatherers talked about how you were the perfect gatherer, always knowing what to do with fruits and herbs. Hunters boasted about how the food you harvested went beautifully with their hunts of the days. Healers reveled in the fact your herbs were perfectly collected, divided up and placed neatly. Men his age whispered about how graceful and patient you were, a prize for any man. Women gossiped about how you were so perfect, but they reeked of jealousy.

If only he could talk to you without making a joke of himself, but it seemed Eywa had other plans for him.

From outside the tent where he had hidden himself, he heard the clans people going about their day. Neteyam could barely make out his own families voices, Tuks being the loudest as she talked to who he could only imagine was you.

"Come on! We gotta get to the clearing before the flowers bloom! You said it would be amazing!" Tuks voice was full of excitement, almost a demanding tone. Neteyam could see a vision of her trying to pull and push you, your face probably just a smile as you had a soft spot for the youngest Sully sibling. "Actually we need (Y/n) for something," came a unrecognizable voice, more soon followed.

"We need her to help us gather more food!" "Well we need her to help us decide which size basket to weave,"

Many clans people had started to argue, Neteyam deciding enough was enough. He stepped outside of the tent and saw many people surrounding you, Tuk had been pushed off to the side and was trying to get back through the crowd.

You on the other hand, were down right overwhelmed. Everyday someone had tried to have you do something, go somewhere or talk to somebody. You wanted things to go back to the way they were before. You missed laying on the grass or tree branches without a care in the world.

Your breath had started to get heavy, your chest feeling like it couldn't expand. Clutching your hands to your chest to make yourself feel smaller, your eyes darted everywhere, trying to find some type of escape. The feeling of being closed in almost brought tears to your eyes.

"Enough!"

Neteyams voice cut through the crowd, their voices going silence at once. He stalked through the crowd, shoving people out of the way,"you all are ridiculous! You've been perfectly capable before (Y/n) graced you with her presence, now go away and leave her and Tuk alone!"

There was a bit of a growl with his voice that made your tail twitch, but his arm around your shoulder helped ground you as he brought you out of the crowd and towards Tuk.

"Breathe (Y/n), it's okay, they won't bother you again," Neteyam whispered into your ear, Tuk grabbing your hand to help you relax. "I hate when they do that, (Y/n) gets so upset," Tuk told him softly, they both lead you away to the forest, the place they knew you loved more than anything.

Coming to a small clearing, you felt your breath stabilize and you gave Tuk a smile, a hand caressing her face,"I'm sorry you had to see me like that Tuk," this made her confused. You didn't ask for the village people to go crazy, and they had caused to you have some weird attack, so why were you apologizing? Neteyam himself thought you were a blessing, even though you were so overwhelmed you only focused on Tuk and how she felt.

"Tuk, why don't you go ahead to those flowers you mentioned and we'll be right along?" Tuk threw a questioning gaze at Neteyam, but smirked when a thought crossed her mind, "Oh okay, don't take too long!" She giggled, running off through the bushes.

He helped you sit on a fallen tree,"Are you alright?" Neteyam turned his attention towards you completely, finding you smiling at him a little uneasy. "Yes, thank you Neteyam," the way you said his name made him buzz with energy, but he coughed, his own smile gracing his lips to help you feel better, "They shouldn't have acted like that, I know you don't like the hustle and bustle of village life, though that must be hard now that your friendship with Tuk is public,"

You nodded with a small shrug of your shoulders," Yes I suppose it is, but Tuk makes it worth while," you sighed fondly, Neteyam chuckling, "I do miss being able to sneak around the people without being stopped every few seconds, but it's not all bad when I get to spend time with you guys,"

Neteyam felt his tail begin to slightly move and twitch, "with just Tuk or?" He left the sentence open, wanting you to finish it as he scooched in closer, his body and face all giddy.

"Well, Tuk will always come first," you nudged his arm with yours, but when you turned your eyes to look at him, a sort of smirk on your lips as you stared into his eyes,"but I find it quite funny to watch you,"

Neteyam groaned in his throat, leaning his head back,"Please don't remind me, I always make a fool out of myself when I try to talk to you," you smiled, placing a hand on his knee, "I think it's cute,"

Neteyam thought your hands were so soft and gentle, but if your hand stayed any longer he'd probably end up doing something crazy. "Should we go join Tuk?" He stood up, reaching a hand out to help you up. You nodded, hand in his as you stood up, both beginning to walk in the direction that Tuk had disappeared too.

~.~

"There you are!" Tuk laughed, running up to you and pulling you away from her brother who frowned, noticing your hand had slipped out of his. "Look, they're about to bloom!"

In the vast meadow you three stood in, different colored flower bulbs that had a glow were slowly starting to open, Eclipse casting a shadow as night began.

"What is so important about these flowers?" Neteyam wondered, but you looked to him with that soft smile, so gentle and he felt himself swoon, "watch,"

As the bulbs opened, small, light like creatures began to emerge. Different colors of yellow, gold, white, even a few blue started to float upwards towards the sky, the wind softly blowing them to and from.

"These light bugs only come once a year, they're better to spot at night," you informed, a laugh escaping when Tuk began to run through them.

Neteyam crept up beside you, "Beautiful," he mumbled, but he was trained on your face in the glowing of the lights. Your own white freckles on your face decorated your cheeks and nose, your green eyes seeming to glow, now with the reflection of these light bugs, it seemed you held a thousand stars in your eyes.

"Yes, almost takes my breath away," You whispered, glancing at him to find him staring at you already. You felt your cheeks warm under his gaze, starting to turn away when you felt him tenderly grab your hand into his, bringing it to his chest where his heart sat.

You gasped, your body turning flush into his as he held your hand to his heart, his other hand brushing your cheek.

You both could only stand there, eyes gazing into each other. So confused, yet certain this felt right, the two of you having only known each other personally for a short time but still feeling a pull towards one another.

"(Y/N)" Neteyam whispered, "I want you to know, um," he stumbled over his words, trying to find the right thing to say. "Neteyam," you whispered back, your faces seeming to get closer.

"(Y/n)!" Tuk yelled, your face instantly turning toward her and you watched as she laughed and ran through the light bugs, her hands beckoning for you to join her.

You gazed back at Neteyam who's eyes were shut, his head falling back as he let out a big breath exasperated, his own sister had stopped him in his moment of courage,"Don't look so sad," you giggled, "we can always continue this later,"

Neteyams eyes shot open at that, his face in shock as you skipped off to join Tuk in the tall grass, the light bugs making you look even more enchanting, his eyes trailing over your body.

'I am in way over my head,' he thought, but chuckled and ran to join two of his favorite girls.

~.~

When Tuk had began to tire out, Neteyam carried her as the two of you started the walk back to the village. Her soft snores made you smile, eyes looking over her tired form that was drapped on Neteyams back.

"So, maybe we should do this again," Neteyam started, eyes trying to focus on the ground but he would glance up quickly to see your face. To his relief, you were bashfully looking at him too.

"All three of us or?" Your phrasing reminded him of earlier and he laughed, "Maybe just the two of us, Tuk wouldn't mind if I stole you every once and a while right?" He knew Tuk definitely would, but if she knew he was trying to make (Y/n) her sister officially, it might change her mind.

"I don't see why not, maybe you could take me flying?" Your soft voice and slight pep to your step had him grinning from ear to ear. "Really!? I mean," he cleared his throat, trying to deepen it, "I mean, sure yeah," he shrugged, your laugh making him feel like he was walking on air.

Coming to his families tent, you lightly traced your fingers up Tuks back, whispering goodnight as she sleepily 'hmmed', Neytiri appearing to take her from her oldest so that you and her son could have a moment to say goodnight.

You acknowledged their mother, "Hello, Neytiri," Neytiri smiled at you, nodding her head as she slipped back into the tent.

"So, I'll see you later?" Neteyam asked, his yellow eyes were holding your green ones hostage. Your lips pursed, eyes looking off to the side like you were thinking.

"How about one hour? Take me on a night time ride?" He felt his stomach get tingly, not able to make a noise as he nodded rather fast pace. You left him speechless by your next move.

You grabbed his necklace and pulled him down to your height, your lips laying on his own for a moment and then you were gone with a wink over your shoulder.

Neteyam felt frozen, still as a statue where you'd left him with a longing sense for you to stay, but excitement for the next hour to hurry up. Heartbeat racing, he found some function back and touched his fingers to his lips.

"Oh yeah," he grinned, "Soft as clouds,"

~.~

Part 3?? 👀

Taglist:

@jaymiemallari21 @ssc7514 @itsemy01 @zbeez-outlet @danamq1 @cwufst @sourpatches111 @eywas-heir @heaven1oo4 @neteyamforlife @naynay2808 @msjae @ultimatebluff @jjkclub @ksata @destinylb @otukirey @saniyahgordon @nijha2tact @laylabunbunny @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @rax-raxus @ilivboi @coocciz @jiru-camels @whenercolorfulrainbowlol @lothvt @teyamdefender17 @v4mp1rr3 @tejas-kris @jimfiqs @catcrapandpuppypoo @serpientez @thexplosivegirl @xoxobabe @inluvwithneteyam @dead-28 @brooklynscherry-z @weridpersonhelp @he110hon @rainbowsocks

Crying cause I had a draft that was a quarter way done and it disappeared

Okay, so you know that scene from Disney's Hercules? With Meg when she stands up while ringing out her hair and the water is beautiful behind her and Hercules is whipped? Yeah that but with Neteyam.

~.~

After relocating to the Metkayina and learning their ways, Neteyam had finally grown into one of their own, in both spirit and body. Now an adult, he grew taller, broader, his physic left many girls and women watching him like predators from a distance.

Coming back from a successful hunting trip, he carried a large net of fish on his back, Ao'nung and other men walking along side him with their own. "I'd say today was an excellent hunt,"Ao'nung had a smug look on his face, dumping the net off fish into a large basket that the clans cooks used in their little pavilion to keep track of the food brought in.

"You only say that because you got the biggest catch of the day," Neteyam gave a playful glare to his friend, shoving the next clan leader out of his way before dumping his own net of fish as well.

"Ah, come on my friend," Ao'nung placed his arm around the dark blue Na'vi, giving him a teasing noogie to the head before the man pushed him with a growl, pointing his finger at Ao'nung.

"Keep on, we'll see who's the better hunter," Neteyam challenged, their friends of the group letting out hoots of encouragement at the sound of the banter. "So you say Forest Boy," Ao'nung was quick to push Neteyam down out of surprise, taking off into the village laughing.

"Ao'nung, you skxawng!" Neteyam quickly stood up and took off after his friend, a grin on his face as he quickly caught up. Ao'nung had never been that fast of a runner.

"Watch it!" A older clansmen yelled, pulling his mate out of the way of the two young men who were too busy acting like children than the adults they were. "Sorry!" Neteyam waved back in apology, not looking to where he was running when he collided with something, or rather someone.

Someone much shorter, much softer, much plumper than him, he noted before both were sent flying to the sea from the walk way, Neteyam briefly hearing his friends chortle of laughter from above the water.

He resurfaced and shook his braids out of his face, Ao'nung holding his stomach, pointing with a laugh as the other guys joined in. "Way to use your eyes Neteyam, I should take notes," One of the hunters mocked, Ao'nung reaching a hand out now to pull his friend up.

It was only when Neteyam turned to view who he'd run into that his breath caught in his throat, eyes wide as he saw the most beautiful woman.

She stood a few feet away onto a lower part of a marui she'd climbed onto. Half bent over to ring our her hair, her eyes trailing up his person as she stood up, her eyes shining in the sunlight like the sea behind her, painting the most gorgeous picture in his eyes. One he didn't wanna forget.

"You are probably the most lucky or unlucky bastard ever," Ao'nung mumbled, a grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around his star struck friend, the rest of the hunters now looking at the young woman.

Only she was not just any young woman, she was the daughter of the lead hunter in the clan, a true treasure to any young man who could gain her father's approval, which really meant her approval.

"Who, is that," Neteyam was starstruck as she girl looked him up and down, water trailing down her body to places he wanted to explore in a more, secluded, area with just the two of them.

"Why don't you go find out," Ao'nung pushed his friend in her direction, Neteyam tripping over his feet to walk properly at first but approached the young lady who watched him walk over, a small hint of amusement hidden in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," Neteyam bowed his head in apology, somewhat guilty for having run into her, but also relishing the fact he had.

"Mmm, for someone who is such a wonderful hunter, you're not that good with watching where you're going," Her voice was firm but soft, almost playfully condescending the poor man who felt ready to drop to his knees.

"If I'd been watching, I never would've run into you, and I would've hated to miss that opportunity," He flashed a grin in her direction, the girl crossing her arms as she gave one back, "A shame this will be your only opprotunity for the day," she huffed, turning around and letting her hair hit him in the face before beginning to walk off.

"Wait, you don't have to run off, I didn't even get your name?" Neteyam called out to her, watching as she stopped only a few feet away, turning to look over her shoulder, "I said you already used your opprotunity today, who knows what opprotunity you have tomorrow," she smirked, flashing her fangs before walking away, hips swaying just a little bit more than before.

"What a fine opprotunity indeed," Neteyam hummed, his eyes trailing after her body as she disappeared around the corner of Marui's.

I DO NOT NEED THIS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE GOD DAMNIT 😭😭💔💔

Illicit Affairs | Chapter VIII: My Tears Ricochet

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII

Synopsis: All secrets are revealed and both you and Neteyam have to live with the consequences of your actions.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, limited mentions of Y/N, did i mention angst, angst and more angst?

Word Count: 10,3k words (the first couple chapters were 3k, how did we get here??!)

A/N: This chapter killed me a little inside. I cried multiple times writing it, so I guess fair warning. I wanted really badly to build strong, round characters who had flaws and strengths and strong reasoning for acting a certain way/doing certain things. I wanted to write this story from both character's perspective, so it is clear that in life, each person will think they are right, that their reasoning was the correct one, when in reality, we are all a little right and a little wrong in everything we do, and it is always worth trying to see things from the other's perspective. We are coming towards the end of this first series, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest of this journey. As always, thank you so much for everyone who engaged with it, I loved reading ALL of your comments and replies, they really make my day.

(Also, I feel like I am playing my own little game of "how many Taylor Swift and OG Avatar lyrics/quotes/references I can reasonably fit in a story without it being obnoxious" and I can't tell if I'm winning or not.)

"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet"

You registered the girl asking you if you were alright, but you couldn’t see in front of you, the entire room spinning like the inside of a mirrorball. You felt your body rise from where it was sat next to Neteyam’s, and shakily made your way out. Neteyam’s mate. Neteyam’s mate was next to you, asking you if you need help. It all got too much, and you lunged your body forwards and threw up on the ground next to your tent. You were panting, trying to somehow get a grasp on your mind and push the hurt aside, enough so you can see and hear the world around you.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” you manage to blurt out weakly.

You heard more commotion, and faintly made out Jake’s voice and his arm on your shoulder, trying to bring you back to them.

“Neteyam, what the hell happened?”

You didn’t hear Neteyam speak. He was quiet and you were glad. You didn’t want to hear his voice, not now, and not for the rest of your life.

The world came back to focus eventually, and you spit aggressively trying to get rid of the taste of acid in your mouth. You removed Jake’s hand from your back, and left. The thought of speaking or even looking at any of them was too much to bear. You ran, harder than you ever had before, back to where you just came from, the Ikran nest in the village. You immediately recognised your own, beautiful, gold and white, pure, unlike the rest of this world. Neyn (light colours, shades of white)… fitting name, you thought. You made the tsaheylu quickly, and without a second thought, took off.

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF

STAGE III: DEPRESSION

You had no thoughts as you flew above the forest and made your way towards the general direction of the Hallelujah mountains. You realised you didn’t know where you were going, you didn’t know how you were going to find your way back, but it didn’t matter. Were you even going to ever return? There were no tears, no sadness, just emptiness. The pieces of your heart broke so finely they turned into dust, blown away in the wind of the night. Eventually you found the mountains, easy enough to spot, even in the darkness, the fluorescent flora marking the territory with an easy-to-see glow. You flew like this, for enough time that your lungs were running out of breath and your skin felt battered by the wind, but you kept going. You felt so free, so weightless. There was a calmness to your thoughts that you haven’t felt in years, probably since your mother died.

You saw a distant mountain that looked brighter than the others, and you made your way to it and were amazed to find a little cave in it, bright and colourful, a little piece of heaven on a planet that was heaven in and of itself. Neyn landed softly on the edge of the mountain and you dismounted effortlessly and approached her head, giving her pets on her neck, to which she cooed gently. She was the only friend you had, you realise. You were all alone.

“Neteyam, what happened?”

Neteyam was dragged in the tent by his dad, who was fuming. No matter what feelings his dad was feeling, they couldn’t compare to Neteyam’s anguish and terror. Why the hell was she there? She just had to wait another couple of hours and this would have never happened.

“She was patching my wound up when Tiongli came in the tent, announcing to the world she is my mate. Said mother told her about my injury.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on your mother, boy.” the Sully patriarch’s nose was flared, eyes looking at him intensely with anger and disappointment. Neteyam’s eyes filled with tears, and he felt his heart hurting so much like the gash was there instead of his arm.

“I was going to tell her tonight, dad. After dinner. I was going to tell her everything, and I was going to ask her to be my mate. I was going to come to you both and ask you to undo the engagement. I understand that a year and a half ago I gave up on her, I did it for a reason, I thought there was no future for us, and that we were hurting each other. But things have changed. She has changed. She’s going to be one of the people soon and I want her to be mine.”

“Neteyam, you can’t undo the engagement. You have known Tiongli your whole life, her family’s been expecting this since you were both young. You gave your word before Eywa, son.”

“I love her, dad. Do you understand that? I have loved her all of my life. It killed me having to leave, it killed me knowing there was no future, because she was human. But she’s not just human anymore. I was willing to go through with this for the sake of the village, for the sake of the family and the future, but if there is any chance I can have the love of my life by my side, instead, I will cling on to it for dear life. Mother was betrothed to uncle Tsu’tey, and she gave that up for you. It was done before Eywa, and she didn’t care. Because she loved you and she knew that was enough. She gave up being Tsahik, her birth right, so she can have you. I will not give up on her, dad. Mother wouldn’t have given up on you.”

“I have to find her. I have to make this right.”

You were sprawled on your back, feeling goosebumps form along your limbs from the cold grass. You were staring at the sky, noticing the bright stars you now knew were actually bright death sentences, each of them beautiful and devastating. Will you even still be alive when they come? Will everything you have gone through these few months matter? Will everything you have gone through in this life matter? All the pain, and the hurt, and the grief, just so you can die at 18 from a virus. The universe was cruel, you thought. It was a fitting end, though. Meaningless and daft, like your entire life was. Born on a planet you were not made to be able to survive on, your real planet a long-forsaken dream you will never experience for yourself, surrounded by nature that could kill you in an instant. Alone, never fitting anywhere, orphaned by human diseases: cancer and greed. Left to fend for yourself when you were just ten, learning to navigate a life that only seemed to want to clobber you to the ground whenever you thought you finally could stand up again.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel, not anymore. You wanted to fight for something, for the chance at life, or at retribution, or at love. You were dying and Neteyam killed whatever hope remained in you. They all did. Norm, Max, Jake, Neytiri, Lo’ak, Kiri, Spider, all accomplices, all aware, all willing to lie to your face for weeks with no remorse. You thought you were good at spotting liars, now you just knew how little you knew about everything.

The pain in your soul mirrored the one in your body, as you felt the morphine wearing off and your human body struggling to keep the mind steady for the link. You had to bear it, because this pain was more manageable than the one you knew waited for you in your human form, when you would be alone in a dark room with only your nightmares to keep you company.

With a sigh and a peer up at the sky, you hoped whatever comes after death was better than the hell you’ve lived in the majority of this life.

Neteyam waited the whole night in your tent, waited for you to come back, becoming increasingly worried as the hours passed and you didn’t show. He wanted to go and look for you, but knew that as soon as you got on your ikran, the chances of finding you were thin. He would go to the lab as soon as dawn broke, but for now, he was praying that you would just burst through the tent opening so he can talk you down.

He fucked up, badly. He cringed at the thought of how much he seemed to not be able to get anything right when it comes to you. Everything he did or didn’t do ended up hurting you more, the only thing he didn’t want, the only thing in the world he continuously tried to avoid.

He was consoled by the fact that he would have a lifetime to make it up to you. He will not give up trying, no matter how long, no matter how hard, he was determined to win you back and keep you, forever.

As you made it back to your human body in the early hours of the morning, you regretted waiting so long, as your body was in indescribable agony, the likes with which you didn’t know was possible for the human body to ever experience. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, you were sweating bullets and every bone and muscle in your body throbbed with enough intensity to make it almost impossible for you to get up from the pod. Everyone must be asleep at this hour, you thought. You had to make it to your bed, you had to get at least a couple of hours of rest if you were going to live to see another day. As if you were taking the Iknimaya again, you made your way form the lab to the medical ward and injected another dose of the morphine in your system. There was no going back now, you were too far down the rabbit hole to stop and why put yourself through more unnecessary pain when this will all be over in a few days anyway?

You crashed in your room for a few hours and quickly made your way back to the pod before anyone else was there to talk to. You started the linkpod by yourself and got in without hesitation.

Waking up in your Avatar body was a strange experience, as you were still in the Hallelujah mountains where you fell asleep last night. Neyn did not leave you, you noted, and she was peacefully resting next to you, cooing softly in her sleep.

“Hey, beautiful girl. Time to go back. It would be useful if you knew the way.” you pet her gently, trying not to disturb her. She woke up and pushed her snoot in your chest, and you felt it swell for this animal that you had an unbreakable bond with; you were grateful you had done the Iknimaya and at least gained a life companion from that horrible day.

As suspected, Neyn knew where to take you, and in about an hour you made it back to the village. You dreaded it, dreaded the inevitable interaction, but you knew you had to go back at some point and inform them of your whereabouts.

It was still early, so the village wasn’t quite bustling with energy yet. You quietly made it back to your tent, which you found empty. You grabbed your bow and arrows, knife and gun and a couple extra magazines. You didn’t know if you were going to be back. As you were making your way out, your head bumped into a large, muscular chest.

Fuck.

“Where the hell were you all night, kid? None of us slept a wink last night worrying.”

“Out.”

“What the hell do you mean out? Out where? You leave without telling, you don’t come back the whole night, do you have a fucking death wish?”

You laughed at the irony of his words. He caught your arm as you were walking away and pulled you back forcefully so you can face him.

“You are not going anywhere.”

“Let go.” Jake raised a brow at your words. He was not used to being spoken this way, you realise.

“How long?”

His grasp on you loosened, and his gaze softened when you peered up at him through eyelashes to which tears clung.

“How long has this been going on?”

“Kid…”

“How fucking long, Jake?”

He let go of your arm at your curse, which had never been directed at him before.

“Watch your tone, kid.”

“You made me feel like shit for learning to shoot guns without you. It made you feel bad, right? Knowing I purposefully left you out of something you could have been useful at, something we could have bonded over? I hurt you, by pushing you and Neytiri away for so many years, and I am sorry for that, but you have never, in your life, tried to understand me. So you gave me shit about something you didn’t understand, and I hurt so much inside at the thought of all I gave away by my reluctance to trust, to love, to let people in. So I changed. I let you in. I was here, everyday, acting like a perfect little daughter for you, the daughter I knew you wanted. Strong, capable, skilled. I let Neytiri in. I started calling her mum in my dreams, and although the guilt for my own mother gnawed at my insides silently, I was also relived, to finally have a family again, or for the first time.

You made me love you and break down these carefully constructed walls so you can be comfortable and sleep well at night for not breaking your promise my mum, and then you fucking stabbed me in the back.

I trusted you, Jake. You fucking lied to my face for months. Every time I asked where Neteyam was at dinners and you told me he was practicing, every day you plotted to get me out of the village as early morning as humanly possible and get me back after everyone else was fast asleep, I knew it in my heart you were lying, but you were all so good at it, I thought I was going crazy. But no, it was all a carefully planned ruse to not find out you made me come here and be part of the people just to watch the man I love belong to someone else without even a chance to decide for myself how to feel about it.”

The fight brought out the rest of the Sully family out of their tent, and they were all watching you now, concern and sadness displayed across their beautiful faces.

“You all lied to me. Looked me in the fucking eyes and lied to me, every day, multiple times a day. You were supposed to be my family.

The humans are coming. I will be here. I will stand and fight, you know I will. I will be your little soldier, and be who you made me into.

But I want to make this perfectly clear. As far as I am concerned, you and I, we are done. I am done.” You looked at every Sully one last time, and left.

You were no longer delightfully numb, but burning with anger and earth-shattering sorrow as you stalked away from the village, leaving everything behind. Your eyes were blurry with endless tears, mourning this life and this family that you managed to gain and lose within the span of a few weeks, reeling from the wounds within your heart that never had a chance to mend before being opened again, over and over. You didn’t want to go back to the lab, knowing Neteyam was most likely looking for you there. You couldn’t go to the clearing for the same reason. You had no home anymore, no place in this world, once again. You could only think of one place to go, one place where no one would ever look for you.

Your knees were shaking furiously as you walked, and you were scared of another flashback that you would have to ride out by yourself, but it never came. You just walked, crying and panting from all the pain the last 24 hours brought, and eventually you made it to a place you never thought you would ever see again. The clearing looked peaceful, with rays of light penetrating through tree branches, creating Mandalas on the ground that you found yourself tracing with your eyes.

In the corner, lay a decrepit exo suit, and you made your way to it, settling on the ground next to it. You knew now this exo suit belonged to your dad, and you removed some vines that grew on top of his name, Gideon Barlowe. A beautiful name, you thought, and your mind wandered to the past, a past way before you were even born, and wondered what your grandparents did back on Earth. Did they encourage their son to leave his own planet in pursuit of planetary colonisation, monetary gain and murderous acts? Did they know? Did he know? Was he like that his whole life, or did he start off fighting the good fight, and was corrupted by the jagged and monstrous lifestyle? You wondered if this was what he has always dreamt of doing, or he had secret dreams of being a painter, or a gardener. Did he play guitar, too? You snored sometimes, did you get that from him? You had so many questions for this man you shared half your DNA with, but have never met. For the man that died on a planet far away from home, alone, with no one to mourn him.

Was that going to be you? Would Neteyam remember you in 20 years, when he would tell stories about his childhood to his kids, when he remembered the good old times? Would you get a Na’vi send off? Or were you going to be buried somewhere in the forest, for someone to stumble upon in a distant future you would no longer be a part of?

Sobbing uncontrollably, you heard yourself speak in between wails. “Why am I here? Great Mother, is there a reason for this hurt? Please tell me there is more to this life, there is more to life than this, because I cannot do this anymore. I am so tired. I have tried to keep going my whole life, even when I wanted nothing more than to cease to exist, blissfully collapse in an ether where I didn’t have to feel anything anymore. I kept going because I wanted to make my mum proud, I wanted to honour the body and life she has given me. I am trying so hard, but I am really fucking tired.”

A little past eclipse, you arrived at the lab, and used the keycard you remembered to bring with you. You hoped Neteyam would be gone by now, in case he was trying to find you here. You made your way through the hub and into your bedroom, which looked tiny in your Avatar body. You realise how uncomfortable it must have been for him to be here so often, then cursed your brain for making you think about such things. Your Avatar body needed a bed, so you walked slowly to where the other Avatar bodies usually were laid to rest for the night. There should be an empty space where your mum or Grace used to sleep. It didn’t take long for you to wake up back in the linkpod, as with most nights recently, you were barely able to maintain the neurolink by the time evening came.

Max was waiting for you. “Neteyam came by. He’s been looking for you, said you left the village yesterday and didn’t come back. He was worried sick.”

You didn’t answer him, as you slowly got out of the pod and tried to steady your feet on the ground, harder than it seemed when the entire room was spinning around you.

“What happened?”

“The mate you all hid from me for weeks came announcing herself in my tent as we were just about to kiss.”

“Any other questions?”

You didn’t wait for a response before you made your way out of the room, stalking towards the medical ward.

As you retired to your room for the night, you noted the morphine was not working as well as used to anymore. You sat on the bed, looking at the arm that was getting blue at the amount of needle holes it had, and you knew then you didn’t have much time left. Maybe a couple of days. A couple more days of this. And then it would finally be over. You gave it a fair shot, this life thing. You couldn’t say you felt particularly sad at the thought of it ending. You pressed play on your vintage record player and let yourself sleep.

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day”

You spent the next 2 days in a haze, drugged out of your mind, waking up before eclipse and leaving to your dad’s grave and sleeping in the woods until the night, barely able to make it on your own two feet. Even in your human body, Neyn recognised you, and stood by you, which gave you some peace of mind. You made sure to bring her fruits from the lab, and she cooed warmly as she settled next to you.

When you made your way back that night, Norm was waiting.

“Where the hell have you been? Everyone’s been looking for you for 3 fucking days.”

You removed your oxygen mask and made your way to the room, where he followed you. You were in so much pain you couldn’t see straight.

“I am talking to you!” he took you by your arm and spun you around. The motion made you instantly sick, and you struggled to keep down the fruits you shared with your ikran.

“Let go of me, Norm.” you had no strength in your body anymore, so it took you awhile to shake him off.

“You look like shit. What did you do?”

You managed to make it to the bathroom, where you shut the door behind you and got in the shower. Fortunately, for you or him, you couldn’t tell, Norm was gone when you came out.

The next morning, you woke up desperately searching for pain relief and didn’t know if you were going to be able to make it to the ward before your knees would collapse on themselves. You were shaking and dizzy, out of your mind with agony and walking to the bathroom felt like the most intensive workout you have ever done. You peered up at yourself in the mirror and were scared at the eyes watching you, rabid and wild, like an injured animal waiting to lash out. It was too much for you to bear, and before you could even think or rationalise, you felt your fingers curl into a fist and make contact with the cold glass of the mirror, shattering in dozens of pieces, and it made you weirdly happy to have a visual representation of how your soul felt. The instant pain of the all the wounds the smash caused also gave you a weird sense of euphoria, and you realised it was taking away from the pain in the rest of the body, which was only able to focus on one agonising sensation at a time. This felt like a kiss by comparison, and you knew then you could go on a little longer, you could continue with the rest of the day.

Norm came bursting through the door at the loud crash.

“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”

You came out of your bathroom, blood dripping all over the floor as you made your way to the bed, sitting down on it.

“Leave, Norm.”

“What?”

“Leave.”

“What the hell has gotten into you recently. you are rude and brash, and you hurt people’s feelings with no remorse. This isn’t you.”

“What the hell do you know about me, Norm?” you say, laughing bitterly.

“Ace, stop.”

“You don’t know anything, Norm.” you kept going, the fury and hurt getting the best of you, once again, your need to destroy everything in your path as a way to cope with your own heartbreak winning by a landslide.     

“Did you know I have needed pills to sleep and to live a normal day-to-day life since I was 13? I have been slowly depleting our sleeping pill and benzodiazepines inventory and replacing it with multivitamin pills I found in one of the drawers. I mean thank God none of you suffer from anxiety or panic disorder or need help sleeping cause I would have been busted so long ago.”

You laughed mockingly at his shocked face, jaw so close the floor now you could trip on it on your way out.

“Did you know I am about a week and a half away from dying after I accidentally smashed a vial of infected blood and got it in my mouth?”

You stand corrected, you think now his jaw was close enough to the floor to trip on it.

“Did you know I have upgraded from a pill addiction to a full blown opioid addiction in order to not collapse on the floor in excruciating pain because of the way this virus is eating at my insides? Yeah, yeah, that’s right. We’re almost out of a whole vial of morphine after I injected it in my veins every day for a while now.”

He had no words. “That’s about right.”

“I do know one thing you do know, though. You know that Neteyam had his mate announcement ceremony that day I took off. You were there to see the two love birds announce their love and pledge their commitment to each other the one day I was not there. And that’s why you were acting shifty. You know about that. And somehow you forgot to tell me, every day, for weeks. How does that work out, Norm, hmm?”

“I felt so bad for snapping at you a couple of days ago. I felt like a horrible fucking person for hurting your feelings. I should have been watching my back, instead.”

You got up from your bed and started walking towards the door.

“If I were you I would not linger in a room with poisoned blood dripping on the floor for too long.”

You found some paper towels at the side of your bed and wrapped them around your bleeding, pained hand, and with that, you left.

After you upped the morphine you usually took, you went to the lab and prepped a hood for some more experiments. Work was a good way to get your mind off things, to mindlessly do something that had a purpose other than driving you to the brink of insanity.

You heard a loud banging noise coming from the entrance, and you had a sneaking suspicion you knew who it was. You heard Norm open the door.

“Is she here?”

“Yeah, but Neteyam, I think you should go. She’s not in a good place, and I really don’t think doing this will end well for either of you.”

“I don’t care, I have to talk to her, I have been looking for her for 3 fucking days.”

You heard the door to the lab slide open and hissed at the man you knew would be trying to come in, realising hissing in a human body doesn’t have nearly the same effect.

“Get the fuck out, Neteyam. This is a sterile room.”

“I don’t fucking care about the room, Atan. Where the fuck have you been? Please come out so we can talk.”

You threw your head back and laughed, really laughed.

“You really are delusional if you think there is any way in heaven and hell I would want to hear anything you have got to say. The time for talking was a couple months ago, Neteyam. The time for talking was the first day I got my Avatar body, where in addendum to telling me you own my ass now, you could have also sprinkled in the fact your are now mated with someone else.”

“I am not mated with anyone, for fuck’s sake. Just come out so we can talk, please. I will explain everything, please!”

You stopped what you were doing and looked at him, for the first time since that day. He looked exhausted, anguished. Deep purple bags under his eyes, that were burning red where the whites should be. He has been crying. Good, you thought. He looked panicked and miserable and desperate for you to give him the time of day, for you to allow him to explain the unexplainable.

You sighed and your heart constricted in pain. Neteyam will not be happy until there was nothing left of you, until he took everything from you. At the same time, you were curious, morbidly curious as to what has actually happened, what led to this moment. You knew he loved you. You knew that much, but it didn’t seem to matter in this moment, as he broke your heart for what felt like the thousandth time in your short life.

“Go to the clearing, I’ll come when I’m ready.”

You half considered just leaving him there to wait, abandoning him just he did to you. You finished splitting your cells and treating them, and in about an hour, you went into the linkpod and took your Avatar for a walk in the woods. You reached the clearing shortly, as it was close enough that even child you could do it without getting too far away from the building.

You saw him standing there, his back turned to you and his legs submerged in the river that was rushing violently downstream. It was a cold day, and rain was trickling down your body like shivers from a kiss. There was tension in the air, and you knew a storm was coming. You could practically feel the charge in the atmosphere, and were expecting thunder to start any minute now, ready to mirror the agony in your soul.

“I’m here.”

He didn’t speak for a while. Just stood looking at the river, deep in thought.

“So many of our moments throughout the years happened here. Remember when I taught you to swim in the river? Now, in retrospective, that was a bad idea since the water kept taking you away, to the point I had to wait at the end so I could catch you in my arms, like you were a baby.”

You winced at the memory.  You thought you could do this. You felt numb in that lab, numb on the way here, but as soon as your eyes focused on him, tears starting pooling in your eyes and pain overtook your body, that you tried to counteract by wrapping your arms tightly around yourself. He’s caused you so much hurt, so much grief in the years he’s known you. But he was also at the forefront of most of your happiest memories. You could fill endless manuscripts with the beauty of his love, that shone so brightly over you your whole life. He was the light in all the darkness and you honestly didn’t think you would have survived this journey without him.

That is why this hurt so much, why your body was convulsing on itself in insurmountable grief. And also why you owed him this much. Owed him this conversation, and the right to explain his point of view, that you were still unfamiliar with.

“I remember. I remember even at the time, thinking this was a good metaphor for our relationship. Life kept sweeping me off my feet, but you were always there to catch me, before it could take me away. I had so much faith in you back then, you were a fact of life, like the eclipse. You were the one person in this world I thought would never hurt me.”

“Fuck, Y/N, all I did before I left is hurt you.”

“What are you talking about?” You were confused at the turn this conversation took. What did he mean? You couldn’t recall a single time Neteyam hurt you before you left. Sure, you would fight and bicker sometimes, but it was a normal part of any relationship, you thought. And he always made it up to you, would always come to the lab and sit with you with flowers he collected or trinkets he found in the woods, always holding you and kissing your forehead to make sure you were over it before he had to leave. Fighting with him was ironically one of your favourite things, because you knew the aftermath was the closest you ever felt to being in heaven.

“I almost fucking killed you. Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten how I manipulated you into getting on top of an ikran when you were just a 13 year old human and almost watched you die? Have you forgotten I took you to the woods and raced you to your dad’s remains? I was a walking magnet for disasters in your life and I was tired, so fucking tired of watching your life fall apart all around me. I had to watch you learn to walk again, limp because of my actions, for years. I had to pull you out of flashbacks and nightmares you developed because of ME. You were always fine in the woods with Lo’ak or Kiri, but everything bad that has happened to you happened around me.”

He was crying, panting and angry, at himself or you or the universe, you couldn’t tell.

“I thought that if I left, you would be ok. I just wanted to protect you. My whole life, all I have wanted was for you to be ok. But it seems no matter what I do, I keep fucking up.”

You had no words to speak as you lay there, listening to him letting you in to a secret you have spent so many months agonising over. The reason for his departure haunted you for a year and a half, even when you refused to think about him, about it, it was there, constantly emerging from the depths of your subconsciousness, taunting you in your dreams. Why? Why? Why?

Because he wanted to protect you?

You didn’t have time to process all of this new information, before he continued.

“The night you found your dad, I was shaken to my core, in a way I have never truly been before. I was so heartbroken, for you and for myself, for knowing this will haunt you for the rest of your life. I went home and mother found me, and told me that maybe I can’t help you in the way I’ve always wanted. That maybe it’s better for you that I remove myself for a while and leave you room to breathe and heal. So I did. It took me a long time to get the strength to do it. Every time I thought today is the day, I would see you and you would smile at me, and we would sit on your bed and you would read to me or play me songs or just be there, just you and me, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You were everything to me, my light in all the darkness.

A year later, you sang me the song and you were smiling at me singing it, and I knew you were confessing feelings we have both felt for years and couldn’t say out loud. And I knew that if I stayed, whatever we had would escalate past the point of no return. If I stayed, that would be it. And that’s when I decided. I thought I was doing us both a favour. I knew it would hurt you, just as much as it hurt me, but I thought the pain would subside in time.”

You were crying now, you realised, tears falling silently and effortlessly down your face, with no intention to ever stop, instantly washed away by the pouring rain. There were no sounds, no sobs or wails, or panted breaths, just the sounds of rain and hopeless, soft cries and muffled sniffles, for the man in front of you, for all that you have lost, for the past you shared and the future that you would never have.

He got up from where he stood and turned around to face you. He walked towards you until he was so close to you could feel his breath on your face. His stare made goosebumps appear on your entire body, so earnest and desperate, so full of intensity for the words he was trying to convey to you.

“It didn’t.” He said, at the same time you thought the same words in your mind.

“A few years ago, mother and father told me I would one day have to find a mate. They knew and I knew it was expected of me, but I always put it off, so they eventually dropped it. I learnt later they both knew about us, so they didn’t push me into anything until they felt I was ready. A few months after they realised I decided to leave, they started bringing it up again. I didn’t want to hear it, but they said it was time, as I had refused for years longer than what was acceptable in the clan. I met with so many girls, all from good families, all healers in training, all wrong. Beautiful girls, smart girls, skilled healers and singers, and it was like looking at the grey walls of your lab. I felt nothing, I felt sick just thinking about it, like just the thought would be betraying the memory of our bond. Eventually, I told them they can decide. Grandma can decide whatever she thinks is best, and, as Tsahik, I would listen to her voice and wisdom, and do my duty to the clan. She chose Tiongli. I knew her growing up, and we were friendly, so I tried to make an effort. I would go to her tent, and she would show me her training sometimes, I would let her heal my wounds and imagined it was your hands touching me instead. I visited her family and paid my respects, and had dinner with them whenever they invited me. I hoped in time, I could learn to care for her, to lessen the distaste in my mouth whenever my family or the clan talked about the future, about the ceremony, about the life I was supposed to lead that I hated even the thought of.

And then, one day, my dad sent me to get Lo’ak from the lab. I was so scared of knowing I would have to see you again. It had been so long, and so many feelings gnawed at me on the walk there, terror and anxiety, guilt and longing. But then I saw you, and there was only one feeling: love. Like no time had passed at all. I knew then I was going to love you for the rest of my life, and that will never change. That was my fact of life, my eclipse.”

He slowly took your face in his hands, and his thumb was caressing your cheek trying to wipe the tears and raindrops that were falling mercilessly. You saw his face slowly getting closer to yours, and you knew you should pull away, you should remove yourself from his grasp before the kiss was going to remove the last ounce of happiness from you. You knew what you had to do, knew that no matter what information or answers or justifications he would give you today, they wouldn’t matter. You should pull away, because there is no future, no hope. But you couldn’t. You didn’t know what waited for you in the afterlife, but if there was any chance you would have your memories, you wanted this kiss to haunt you forever, to remind you of the life you left behind.

His lips touched yours so gently, it felt like a whisper. Like a hug, tender and warm, it was so different than your first kiss. Tears were still running down your face as your lips moved, entangled with his and begging for more. Your hands went to his chest, to his neck, to his back, just touching him, trying to memorise his body, this feeling. You wanted so much more, you wanted to be his, you wanted to feel him, you wanted him to own you, like he did your heart, which has been his your entire life and will still be his after your death.

You were a mess of wet tangled limbs and panted breaths by the end, and eventually, he broke the kiss to look at you through teary eyes.

“I love you, I will always love you. I am so sorry.”

“I love you, too.”

“But this doesn’t change anything, Neteyam.”

“Thank you, for finally telling me why you left. For giving me some closure for something that has plagued me for so long, it became a constant part of my nightmares. Thank you for having my best interest at heart; it couldn’t have been easy to leave, if you didn’t want to, it took a strong heart to do something that hurt you for what you thought was the lesser evil. But it doesn’t change anything.”

“You left me. You broke me. And you never gave me a chance to make my own decisions. To figure out for myself what was the path forward. I have NEVER blamed you for my misfortunes. The ikran ride is still a beautiful memory to me. You made it a beautiful memory. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, we probably would have both died at the hands of Toruk. You saved my life, Neteyam. You carried me home and stayed with me while I was having surgery, you stayed with me after, while I recovered. You pulled me out of the worst panic attack I have ever had when I found my dad, and you rode out so many of my flashbacks, I have lost count. You weren’t the cause or the common denominator of these events, I was. I am the one plagued by misfortune and hurt and death. Not you. And if you tell me you had to leave to save your own peace of mind, I would respect that. I don’t know anyone in this world who can take this, take me and all the shit that follows me everywhere I go. I don’t blame you.

But if you tell me that you did this for me, that I can’t accept. I didn’t ask for any of this. You gave me no choice, and no say in this relationship, in our shared life. You just left. I deserved better than that. And I deserved better than to find out about a mate after months of lies and manipulation and deceit. I don’t care. I don’t care if you are going to say that you didn’t want it, or you were going to undo it, or that you’ve always loved me and never her. I don’t care. You lied to me, you manipulated me. You accused me of fucking your brother as you were promised to another woman that you hid from me for months. I do blame you for that, and I will never be able to forgive you.”

“Please, Atan…I will tell her no. I will tell her -.” he was sobbing now, his hands still on your face, pleading.

“No.” you slowly took his hands in yours and removed them from your face.

“I think you should do it, Neteyam. She is a good girl, she will make a good Tsahik, and a good mate. Your mother was right, there is no future here - there never was. I love you, so much. But I think you have broken my heart one too many times. I am done.”

You turned your back and walked away from him and the life that was lost - forever.

You were completely soaked when you arrived in the lab, and you went straight to the Avatar laying room and cried. Cried until it felt like no more tears could possibly come out of you. You cried yourself to sleep and then cried in the pod, on the way to your bedroom, and in bed until your human body eventually collapsed from exhaustion. You cried in your dreams, in which Neteyam was kissing you and touching you, doing all the things you were silently begging him to in your mind just a few hours ago.

Eventually, nightfall came, and you had to get up to do the rest of your experiments and top up your analgesic. Ironically enough, you were making real progress on your work. You found a combination therapy that was showing incredible potential in slowing the virus down. It wasn’t enough to stop and eradicate it, but it was enough to give people more time and hopefully give the scientists more time to find a cure. It wouldn’t help you, but maybe you could still help others.

At some paint through the night, as you were making up some reagents, Norm bursts through the door holding a bunch of equipment and some pills, you realise. He puts them down on the bench behind you and speaks.

“Right, stop whatever you are doing, right now.”

“I am in the middle of something.”

“I don’t fucking care. Stop, now.”

You were taken aback at his words and attitude. Norm never got mad, or lost his composure. He was so most well balanced person you knew.

You put the pipette gun down and turned around to face him.

“I still need to adjust the pH on this.”

He ignored you while he prepared the myriad of little gadgets he brought with him. He motioned for you to take off your lab coat, and you rolled your eyes in annoyance, but did as you were told regardless. You were too tired to argue anymore.

He raised the sleeves of your top until they couldn’t go any further up your arm and put a blood pressure monitor on you. You felt tension as its sleeve tightened around you painfully, but eventually it gave out with a puff, and you heard beeping as the machine finished its reading. You looked to your right where the monitor lay, and saw red lights flashing, letting Norm know your blood pressure and pulse were dangerously low. His eyes widened slightly at the sight, but he held his composure, removing the gadget from around your arm and putting it away. He then read your oxygen levels, which you saw were constantly dabbling between 89 and 90%. Not good, you thought. No wonder you could barely breathe anymore. Norm cursed silently under his breath, trying to not let you see him, but if there was one thing you were good at, it’s reading people. Well, you thought you were, at least.

“Did you do any tests on your blood? How is your complete blood count looking?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Why the fuck not, Ace? It’s not like you don’t know how to do it.”

He was angry, really angry. You’ve never seen Norm this angry, you’ve never seen Norm acting this way towards you.

You just shrugged. With a huff of annoyance, he took your arm and prepared a needle and syringe to collect some blood. He gulped and you could see tears forming in his eyes when he looked at the violet bruises and needle holes that were plastered along the length of your brachial vein.

“Just didn’t get around to it.”

“You didn’t - Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“What medicine have you been taking? Did you take the Relenta, or the combination therapy we have been working on?”

“Neither.”

You swear you saw Norm’s entire body enter a catatonic state and he turned so red you were worried he was going to release steam out of his ears.

“You have been sick for a month and did not take anything, none of the treatments we have been working on?”

You couldn’t look him in the eye anymore, finding comfort in the pattern of the tiles on the floor.

“I can’t believe you. I didn’t peg you for someone who would just throw their life away meaninglessly. Your mum had to die because we didn’t have a way to treat her illness, and here we are, with a solution that YOU came up with for your own illness, and you will just not even try?”

You were quiet, not really having a way to rebut his questions.

“Fine. We will start you on the combination treatment tonight and take it from there. There’s other things we haven’t tried yet and I’m sure -“

“NO.”

“I’m not asking you. I’m not letting you fucking die.”

“Why must you always fucking try to fix everything, Norm? Some things can’t be fixed. I don’t want the fucking pills. I am done. I want this to be done.”

“So you’ll just die? Is that what you’re saying? You want to die, and not even fucking TRY to see if there is more to this life. Goddamn it, Y/N. I thought having the Avatar would help you realise life is worth living, there’s beauty in this world beyond the walls of this lab. You got your first kill, you did the Iknimaya, you’re going to become one of the people. Don’t you want to see what your future holds? Don’t you want to live to see yourself grow up? Fall in love, start a family. There are more guys in this world than just Neteyam.”

You gave Norm a dirty look and got out of the lab.

Neteyam felt his whole body reel after your conversation. It didn’t change anything, he thought bitterly. He thought explaining it to you, allowing to see that he had good reasons for his actions would allow you to forgive him, to at least allow him the opportunity to make it up to you through time. You left, just like he had so long ago, but there was a finality to you that he didn’t feel then. Back then, he always had hope that a miracle would still be possible, one in which you got an Avatar, healed and loved him, forever. He wanted to love you forever, but his apology and explanations were not enough.

He lost you, again.

He spent the night flying on his Ikran, just flying and letting the rain soak his thoughts and hurt away. He just wanted to disappear. He wanted the rain to melt his bones until there was nothing left of him but the memory of happier times.

In the early hours of the morning, he made it back to the village, trying to hide his cried out eyes and calamitous grief. He was dreading having to talk to his parents, to explain to them what happened, to have to go through with Tiongli and this future he didn’t want and will have to suffer through for the rest of his life. He didn’t have time to worry about it too much though, because, as he managed to get to the tent’s entrance, he heard Norm’s voice and his dad’s, intertwined with his grandma’s voice rising above them.

“It won’t work. Eywa will not allow her to come back.”

“Why not? She has taken her Iknimaya, she has completed her kills, she has spent her entire life in the village’s service, trying to help the best way she knew how. If she doesn’t deserve this, who does?”

“It’s not that she doesn’t deserve it. It’s that she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want this, Norm. The Great Mother will not transfer the conscience of someone with no future.”

“But maybe if this happened, she will realise that she wants to live. Once she’s rid herself of her weak body, of this disease, maybe she will -“

“The Great Mother’s word is final. She will die, because she wants to die.”

Mo’at’s voice rang in his ears so hard he thought his eardrums would pop.

She doesn’t want it.

She will die.

What were they talking about? Who would die?

No… it couldn’t be. No, the Great Mother wouldn’t be so cruel.

He didn’t wait to hear the rest of the conversation, running as fast as his feet could carry him back to the lab. He reached soon enough, he was faster than most other people in the village, and started knocking on the door of the lab with all his might.

“Y/N, OPEN UP, I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE!”

Eventually, Max came to the door, through which Neteyam burst without consideration for the tiny human next to him.

“She’s not in, Neteyam. She left before any of us had a chance to say anything.”

“Was she in her Avatar body?”

“No, the body is in the den where they sleep.”

He didn’t bother thanking the man, as he turned on his heel and started running again. She was there, had to be.

It was still raining, the clouds relentless as they released drops that poured gently down his face and body, and Neteyam thought the Great mother was crying, mourning the love being washed away like a pebble in the river of the clearing, just like he was.

You were there, of course you were. A current shocked Neteyam at the sight of you. This was the first time he has seen your human body in months, and he found it hard to reconcile the image of you he has known all his life with this current one. You were incredibly thin, so thin, whereas a few months ago he could trace your muscles, he could now trace your bones. You were pale, almost ashen, and the hair that he once spent so long admiring was now brittle and dull, obvious even as it was, wet and clinging to your back. You looked lifeless. He felt a lump form in his throat and tears pool in his eyes that were still not dry from all the pain this day has brought.

You didn’t notice him yet, your human ears much less sensitive than your Avatar, so you were just sitting on the riverbank with your chin resting on your knees, which were brought to your chest and your arms wrapped tightly around them. You were looking at the water, and it was like you weren’t actually there. You were in your own world, far from here, from this hurt.

“I was going to ask if it was true, what I heard Norm talk about in the tent today, but I think you’ve answered my question.”

Neteyam saw you flinch, and it felt like even that brought your weak frame pain. You were trembling when you looked at him, and your face made his own drop in shock. Your beautiful features, the blush in your cheeks, the glimmer in your eye, the pink of your lips, your animated expressions or raised eyebrows, were all gone. Your eyes looked glossed over and numb, your face looked ghostly and sunken, and Neteyam swore he could trace every blood vessel on your forehead and neck. The sight of you made whatever happiness or hope he had left dissolve and trickle down his bones, until it reached the ground where it was eventually buried, never to be seen again.

“I didn’t think I could make myself any clearer, Neteyam.”

“tell me it isn’t true. Tell me he’s lying; he’s making it up.”

“What part?”

“All of it.” Neteyam was angry now, trying to contain the temper rising in his chest.

“Tell me you’re not dying.”

“Norm has a big fucking mouth.”

“Can you for once in your fucking life just answer a question? This is fucking serious!”

You winced at his words, then struggled to get up, but did eventually and fully face him. The state of you hit him like bullets, piercing and scraping at his every organ, leaving bleeding wounds behind.

“It’s true”.

Crack, crack, crack. 

“When?”

“The night you gave me the guitar. I was so busy being in love with you I forgot to put the proper protection on, and I smashed a bottle of infected blood. It got in my mouth, in my nose.”

“I thought you were working on a cure.”

“Haven’t found it yet.”

“But you said you have something that kind of works, something to give people more time.”

“I’m human, it doesn’t work that way for us.”

“So, you’ve tried.”

You weren’t looking at him anymore, just staring at the ground in front of you, somewhere next to Neteyam’s feet.

“Tell me you have fucking tried.”

It thundered aggressively as Neteyam said that, and he saw you once again tremble at the loud sound. You have never been a jumpy person. You were the bravest person he knew. You were the strongest person he knew. It was unspeakable having to watch you now, sitting meekly in front of him, when just a few days ago you took the Iknimaya, taking the climb to the toughest tests known to the Omatikaya, doing it like it was nothing, just another day for you. To know that this is what was hiding underneath, this is what you hid from all of them, made him both impossibly miserable and strikingly enraged at the same time.

“TELL ME YOU HAVE TRIED.”

“NO, OKAY?? NO, I HAVEN’T FUCKING TRIED.” You were sobbing now, your tears washed away by the rain and wind as soon as they fell down your cheeks.

“Why?”

“Because I am tired. I want this to end.”

“I thought you were happy. I thought you were better. You seemed better in the Avatar.”

“I was better… in the Avatar. Because that wasn’t my life. That was just a beautiful dream, while my life was the never-ending nightmare. It was easy to pretend in that body. It was easy to be the version of myself everybody wanted me to be. But I have to live with the real me every night. And I don’t want to do it anymore.” The more you cried, the more Neteyam’s blood boiled in his veins.

“That’s such fucking bullshit.”

“You know what I think?”

“I think dying is fucking easy. It’s your easy way out.”

You looked up at his much larger frame incredulously, and he saw how your mood was starting to mirror his own.

“What did you just say? You think this is fucking easy for me?”

“Yes, I think it is. I think all you’ve done since your mum has died is take the easy way out. Put everything and everyone in your little bottom desk drawer, keeping everyone at a distance. Do you know how much mother and father suffered every time you refused to come out, to come to the village? My mother cried herself to sleep at the thought of you alone in that lab, at the thought that you preferred that soulless, empty place to her, to us. Did you know that?

You have not once opened that drawer, not once dealt with anything. All you do is numb yourself down, pretend you are fine and the issues you have suffered through do not exist. Well guess fucking what, Atan? They exist. And until you deal with that pain and let it pass over you and through you, you will always take the easy way out.

You have made me feel like the worst person in the world, for leaving, for lying to you. But what the fuck have you done, huh? You lied to me about dying, for weeks! About dying! What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!

I left you for a year because I wanted to protect you, you are leaving permanently because you refuse to fuck deal with the pain and hurt I know you feel deep down inside. You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.

You are a coward.”

Neteyam turned on his heel and walked away, before he got a chance to see you collapse on the ground, giving your last few breaths in the place he used to imagine both of your children laying in his arms peacefully while you sang them to sleep.

Tag list (I hope I didn't miss anyone, thank you so much for asking to be tagged &lt;3): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties