The Aro/ace Experience Of Going 'but Am I Actually Aro/ace?' And Then Seeing An Allo And Being Like 'oh.

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For a person with OCD to realize that their intrusive thoughts DO NOT define their real behavior is truly liberating

If you go and tell people that it's actually someone's thoughts that make them evil and not their actions, you are being cruel to people with OCD, straight up

Analyzing why Eren did the Rumbling (He's stupid and that's genius.)

There's a lot of confusion and misunderstandings of the reasons why Eren did the rumbling, due to so many conflicting factors and the mask he was using during the entirety of the final arc. In his final conversation with Armin, he gives so many reasons and yet keeps contradicting himself about everything and it only adds to the confusion, so this is my attempt to explain why Eren did what he did, and why it's founded on irrationality and how that's perfect for his character and the themes of Attack of Titan.

Eren's Motives

Three of his generally accepted motives are these:

1- To see the sight in the book, aka, "levelling" the land. His childish dream he couldn't let go of.

2- To save his friends by having them kill him (they would be seen as heroes and the titan curse would end, saving Armin, Reiner, Annie, etc.).

(The result being the end of the titan's curse)

3- Keep Paradis safe (the level of development of the world would be incredibly reduced, Eren's friends could act as diplomats, and Paradis would now have a fighting chance.)

(I'd argue this motive is just a happy consequence of his real priorities, number 1 and 2).

But the first and second motive directly contradict each other, no? If Eren wanted to do a complete rumbling and truly level the land, he wouldn't wish to be stopped. But according to the second motive, he always intended to be stopped. Not only that, he knew he'd be stopped at 80% because of the power of the Attack Titan.

So why bother doing the Rumbling at all even though it could never accomplish point 1? For his friends only then? But he didn't even know which one of his friends would survive, just that they'd stop him and end the titan curse.

Maybe everyone but Pieck could have died while trying to stop him, so his plan wouldn't fulfill point 1 nor point 2. He wouldn't get a full Rumbling to fulfill his dreams nor a happy ending for his friends.

To make sense of this, my theory is that Eren is stupid and just couldn't help himself despite the risks and impossibilities. He just had to do it.

Eren is an Idiot.

Eren has always been stupid. He tried things irrationally just because he wanted to be free and go outside the walls, believing that it would go well as he severely overestimasted himself, almost getting killed several times because of it.

He's a subversion of a shonen protagonist in a realistic world. The only reason he got so far is because so many people were covering his back and because he got the Attack Titan. This is a vital part of his character. He is average, childish, and prone to succumb to his feelings; and that's exactly what he did. Eren developed so much along the course of the series, and managed to keep control of his recklessness with rationality and discipline... but he never developed emotionally, and this was the result.

Even if he knew that the Rumbling would stop at 80%, it'd still partially fulfill his dream to see a levelled land and becoming free. At least for a moment, he'd be able to feel like he was accomplishing that goal of his and feeling free because of it.

He fought back against Armin because Eren wouldn't give up his freedom without a fight, and he wanted to know that he truly tried everything (aside from taking away his friends' freedom, which would make him a hypocrite in his eyes). Eren was a slave to freedom and was unable to give up on it unlike basically every other character in the series. (give up on your dream and die). He was the ultimate shonen protagonist, especially in his unyielding dream, and it backfired immensely. In no universe Eren was able to stop himself from doing the Rumbling, because it's what he wanted to do to get his freedom, even while knowing it'd fail. It isn't rational. He just couldn't help himself from doing his upmost to live freely, because he was born into the world and thus had a right to, in his eyes. Eren latched onto that childish idea, of never compromising, of being unable to give up on his desired outcome, and it ended up making him a mass murderer. He never grew up, and this was the result.

At the same time, though, he did want to give his friends the chance to stop him and become free themselves, which would also save them to boot. There was the risk that they died, but he couldn't help himself, and in the best case scenario, most of them would live.

Thus, no matter what, the Rumbling was the best way of fulfilling Eren's contradicting goals, not from a logical sense, but from an emotional one.

Rationalizations

In the end, Point 2 and 3 of his motivations are just rationalizations for going through a plan he knew would fail. Point 1 was the main reason he did it (even though, as I explained, it's not really the only reason, just that if he truly wanted to save his friends and Paradis this plan was one of the worse options), and the worst part is that he knew it wouldn't go his way and he did it anyways.

So yeah, he's smart, stupid, free, trapped, selfish, selfless, and that's the point? If so, I think it's a pretty interesting point to make. Eren never managed to mature enough out of being a child—he was denied agency again and again by the world, and unlike everyone else in the series, he couldn't accept that. He couldn't compromise, not on his dream, but not on his friends, either.

I think it's really clever writing to hide all these layers behind Eren, even though the confusing explanation did end up making a lot of people wrongly excuse his genocide "because he did it for his friends", even though he straight up admits he wasn't, he just thought he was.

In truth, he killed 80% of humanity because he wasn't mature enough to pinpoint his irrational motives founded in the trauma of living trapped in walls with the physical manifestation of being trapped embodied by the titans. (A systemic analysis of Eren coming in another post!)

I do admit that actually understanding that all of this was Isayama's intention though, if I even got it right, was completely convoluted and confusing and could've been written way more neatly; but I still love the ending, because it shows us that Eren is doing the most Eren thing imaginable through the Rumbling—showcasing his stupidity, rashness and average nature, which was always a huge part of his character that I'm glad wasn't forcefully taken out of him because of his "cooler" role in the last season.

If there's one thing I've always loved about Eren, is how human he is. How imperfect he is. And his actions are, without a doubt, the embodiment of what it means to be an irrational being with a brain that tries to rationalize everything—a being that would kill 80% of humanity for his dreams, while risking his friends' lives, while also deeply wishing to save them.

I guess that his character (and humanity) can be summed up by Mikasa quite well, don't you think? Because in the end, even if he's stupid, he's also kind. He's cruel...

Cloud Breaker

So into painting tigers lately lol

“nobody understands me” but not in the “edgy suffering from teenager syndrome mad at mom” kind of way, but the “lonely isolating young adult realization that the specific combination of mental illnesses and past experiences i’ve had have resulted in a pattern of behaviors that are often misinterpreted and misconstrued by others” type of way

I forgot about the existence of these works. In fact, the guys from Servamp here are just in fashionable clothes :)

I have more with their Evas, but I haven't finished even buying half a year soooorry ;>

LIU (i love him )

Version without filters

All of the Prehistoric Pride guys in one collective post to celebrate pride month. Choose your fighter and have an awesome time :D

More suggestions are always welcome, I sadly was not able to cover everyone, but I will do more of these in the future!

I am going to add more and more to the collection as I get them done :D

thinking about post-yotsuba light going about his new life and never outrunning himself.

it starts out relatively innocent: adding extra sugar to his coffee in the mornings and when he realizes it he dumps the lot in the sink.

opening his mouth to say that he’s done in the shower, then closing it right back up.

having a brief conversation with the task force and getting frustrated when they don’t catch onto his point immediately.

seeing a pair of baggy jeans and a white longsleeve tee in the window of a store, walking a little faster on the street.

developing the habit of circling his hand around his other wrist like a phantom handcuff.

checking the weather report almost obsessively, staying inside if it rains.

throwing out the worn chess set in his bedroom when he can’t stand to look at it any longer.

then it gets worse; glancing at his own reflection in the mirror, dark circles underneath his eyes, before always turning off the lights whenever he’s in the bathroom.

visiting bookstores to buy armfuls of shitty ‘who done it?’ mysteries, promising himself to get some reading in before sleeping, but they all end up beneath his bed as he pulls more and more all-nighters.

turning into somewhat of an adrenaline junkie, allowing his family (who are all so proud of him) or misa to rope him into day trips to amusement parks, if only to feel his heartbeat go faster and his palms start to sweat (all natural human reactions).

scrolling on his laptop and encountering this stupidly colorful ad for a dessert cafe that just opened, turning in his chair to ask a ghost if it wants to go.

curling up below the covers in the dark, twisting around absentmindedly to pose a riddle or protest another accusation, and only finding a cold dip in the mattress where L used to lie next to him.

but it’s fine. it’s fine because he’s kira, and this is his new world, and he won. he has won, alone in his room, his life, and living — he is alive, he’s sure of it. and that’s more than his equal can say.