Zahra Remembered The First Time She Had Been Told She Needed To Ask For Help When She Needed It. She

Singles mixers - or mixers of any kind - weren't exactly Zahra's scene but she had made a promise to a friend. Said friend had been terrified to go by herself but had managed to hit it off with the first person she had struck a conversation with. Zahra had been left to fend for herself and had taken to people watching from a blessedly quiet corner. Eventually she had ran out of her drink and was making her way towards the bar when someone stopped her. Oh, she had been in her situation before and hurried to nod eagerly. "Yeah, I was just coming to look for you. That Jenga isn't going to play itself," she confirmed, mustering an apologetic smile as she nodded towards the very opposite side of the space. "Shall we?"

STATUS: open @bhqextras

LOCATION: Singles Mixer @ Puzzles, Manhattan

When a friend suggested a night out, Devi pictured something along the lines of going out dancing at Club 51, not a game night at a singles mixer. She supposed it was better than getting dragged along to something that felt a little more desperate like speed dating, but she still couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment with how she was spending her night off. To make make matters worse, she had just been stuck in what felt like the world's longest game of darts with someone who made watching paint dry seem more exciting than holding a conversation with them. At the suggestion of a rematch, she immediately panicked and locked eyes with someone else who was nearby. "Oh, I would, but I already agreed to a game of Jenga with them." She tried her best to communicate with the other using her eyes, "Isn't that right?"

If you're cold, he's cold; invite Count Dracula into your house

Zahra was grateful Violet had reached out, mostly because she was evidently excited to see her, but also because it forced her to turn her attention to something less daunting than the pages of subpar writing she had been managed to produce in the last few weeks. Sitting down, she reached for the menu before letting out a sigh. "I guess that's adulthood in a nutshell. Can't imagine how people with big friend groups ever find the time to meet up." The idea of trying to find a day that worked for ten or so people sounded nothing short of hellish. "Anyway, how are you doing? It really has been a while."

Closed Starter for : @ofzahras

Location: Bluebird's

Violet had just taken a sip of water when she spotted her tall friend walk out onto the patio of the restaurant. She raised her arm up in a wave to get their attention. "Zahra darling, it's so good to see you. I feel like I've been so busy lately and I've missed hanging out with you. This place does eggs so perfectly, light and fluffy like you wouldn't believe." She said, catching a waiter's eye that they were ready to order drinks.

"I guess you're partially right. I just wish I had actually read these instead of just hauling them home and now bringing them right back." Obviously no one knew - or cared - that she hadn't even cracked open most of the books, but the shame was palpable nonetheless. The shame seemed to be her constant companion, increasingly so ever since her brain had decided it no longer wanted to partake in any additional reading or writing. The feeling only grew as she thought about future deadlines and word counts, the threat of falling behind making her sick to her stomach. "I am sure it's just a writer's block," she muttered, mostly to herself, before snorting in amusement. "See, I like where your head's at. I could smuggle Circe everywhere and become the ultimate cat lady."

A realisation lit up Zahra's face as Julia admitted she was only heading in. She laughed, shaking her head softly. "Ah, there you go. It's good to know some things don't change. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

Julia didn’t comment on her helping because if the roles were reversed the last thing she’d want was another person drilling down on how they’d had to lend a hand. Too many people took pride in their independence for her to risk saying the wrong thing. Instead she just gave her a small smile with an incline of her head, picking up the handle nearest to her. 

“I don’t know if this can be considered a walk of shame, I mean what part of being well read is meant to be shameful?” If that was the case then maybe she should just bury her head in the sand right now because she’d much rather spend time with a stack of books than another human most of the time. “Or you could get one of those ones that old people take to the grocery store, the old lady shopper bags. Then no one would even know what was in it.” A shrug of her shoulders as they headed into the library, realising that Zahra didn’t realise that she was arriving rather than leaving. “Oh you know me better than that, I’m on my way in to pick up a couple I’ve had set aside for me. Don’t worry - I’ve not been replaced by an alien.” Julia joked softly. @ofzahras

She simply nodded along for a moment, carefully weighing her next words. Like most people, she had experienced relationship problems in the past, both platonic and romantic, but she had never been in Ryan's position, let alone had any real understanding how Neva felt. It had to be tough for the both of them, and Zahra did not want to cross any boundaries or be one of those people who offered unhelpful advice on something she simply did not understand. "I'm sorry. Sounds rough," she finally commented carefully, "but I'm sure you two will figure it out. It's probably just growing pains and those usually ease with time." Of course that wasn't always the case but Zahra was not about to remind Ryan just how sticky these things could get. She was certain he knew that already. Besides, she had enough on her plate and was in no position to act like she had it all figured out. Her problems were smaller, sure, but had lately felt almost all-consuming. "I'm sure I don't," she admitted with astonishing honesty before shaking her head. "I am excited. It's just... I guess I wish I were more excited. I should be more excited."

—he put the bag on the desk and the librarian looked at him, eyes widening for a moment. “worse,” he admitted, turning back to Zahra, making a face. “it’s my fault,” and then, he turned to her, gently shaking his head, “no, no…” he reassured her with a smile, he appreciated the interest after all. “I haven’t,” he responded in a matter-of-fact tone, laughing a little. there was, essentially, very little he could do until his leave started, and that wasn’t for another more week ( which was also filled with shifts ). “it’s just…man, she is stubborn,” he laughed, “and pregnancy doesn’t help, you know?” he added in a lighter tone; he knew they had kinda talked things over, but still, it didn’t change the fact; he should better learn from that mistake —for future reference. but he was a little glad the topic shifted to her once more as she responded to his question, and he did notice the pause was a little longer than usual, but he didn’t want to ask further. “dare I say you don’t sound that excited?” he was used to Zahra always being willing to share her knowledge when presented the chance, and damn she was smart and so well-versed on her subject, it was kinda weird seeing her being a little…unenthusiastic about it.

Zahra managed a brief smile as she glanced at the blonde. "I should ask that very same question before I check out this sort of a haul. But I guess reading is a huge part of my job, so I should prioritise it." Should being the operating word. She did read, quite a lot actually, but unfortunately most of it did not have anything to do with her research project. "I understand. Somehow getting books and thinking about them can be much more exciting than actually reading them. I guess we're all just spoiled for choice." She had always prided herself in being well-red and aware of all the new releases, but lately finding joy between the covers of a book had proven difficult. "Two books seems like a pretty sensible choice, though."

it was rare that Tavi had the time to read. Still, she always found them a nice little escape from the real world around her. She knew that many people found comfort in browsing bookstores for hours. There were books she bought too, her favorites lined her shelves at home, but for something like this, a book she might need to lay on the beach with friends for a few days, something simple, she always loved being in a library, a sanctuary for many, and the best public service by far. she's got two books, a little saucy romance, and a biography of a dancer she's been invested in lately, and for her even that feels like a lot, but then, oh. she compares it to the person outside, large ikea bag full of books on their shoulder. "no asking. well, maybe asking, just wondering how you find the time? I feel like my pile of books to read is neverending and truthfully, daunting." she admits, a sheepish smile on her face.

She listened quietly, staring at him with the sort of intensity people often found quiet eerie. She couldn't really say no after he had been so kind. "You can come as long as you don't ask about the books." She didn't mean to sound quite so tense but she really did not want to be discussing anything related to her work. Some people said talking to a stranger could be helpful as you didn't really have to fear the sort of judgement friends and family could pass, but the shame was just way too much. It acid rise to her throat, causing very real nausea. Maybe eating wasn't such a bad idea. "Yeah, come on. I know a place just around the corner."

"I'm new to the city..." He started, hoping to prevent her to walk away from him. "and my co-workers sort of see me as their boss, which I'm not, I don't pay their salary." He shrugged. "But everyone scatters around when it's lunch time. I'm a little tired of eating alone. Could I join you, perhaps?" Matt tried. It wasn't really a bit he was doing, it was the truth. Most of his friends stayed behind in LA and he knew very few people here in the city. "You can tell me about your books or anything you want." He offered with a shrugged.

[cis woman and she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [ZAHRA HAMED]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [AIYSHA HART]. You must be the [THIRTY FIVE] year old [ASSISTANT PROFESSOR OF RELIGION]. Word is you’re [RESOURCEFUL] but can also be a bit [RESTLESS] and your favorite song is [MY GIRLFRIEND IS A WITCH BY OCTOBER COUNTRY]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

full name: zahra hamed

date of birth: 11 july 1989

gender & pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

family: mother, father

pets: a black cat called circe

occupation: assistant professor of religion @ aurora bay college

place of birth: st. cloud, minnesota

time in aurora bay: around a year

height: 5′10′’

hair colour & style: dark brown, wavy, a bit past her shoulders

eye colour: dark brown

tw: infertility, mentions of religion, smoking

despite her status as somewhat of a miracle child - her parents had already come to accept they wouldn’t be able to have children of their own due to a host of fertility issues - zahra grew up knowing a lot was expected of her. both of her parents had grown up with very little and had been able to use education as their way out of difficult home situations. she doesn’t resent her parents in the slightest, but sometimes wonders what her life would now look like if she been given just a bit more space and freedom to discover and make mistakes. still, she’s grateful for the drive her parents instilled in her as it has helped her to keep going even during times of distress. that being said, she has unfortunately picked up a host of rather unhealthy coping mechanisms for said stressful situations.

while the household didn’t necessarily seem all that outwardly pious to outsiders, religion was always a big part of the family dynamic and something that was discussed often and at great length, partly due to the interfaith nature of the family. zahra was a curious child and loved getting involved in these conversations, even when the concepts seemed far too complicated for her. she loved lingering in doorways when her parents had friends over, keen on sharing her opinions and the facts she had so meticulously taught herself.

she was a bright student. however, despite doing well academically, zahra often struggled with the social aspect of high school. she was kind of an awkwardly intense, gangly teen who spoke too little or far too much and couldn’t really figure out what her crowd was for quite a while. she eventually befriended a group of girls, some of whom she’s still in contact with to this day.

zahra moved to minneapolis at the age of 18 to attend university of minnesota. she went on to receive her bachelor’s degree in religious studies before completing her master’s in philosophy.

unwilling to give up studying just yet, she decided to pursue a doctorate degree, still unsure what she actually wanted to do in the future. she was accepted to princeton and later completed her phd in philosophy and religion.

while her life hasn’t always been easy or uncomplicated, it has been rather streamline. she has struggled and put in an enormous amount of hard work to get where she is now, but things have generally gone well for her. however, she has recently gone through something of a personal crisis and is really struggling to find her feet again. to put it simply, zahra has become wildly disillusioned with the academia and is suddenly really not sure she’s entirely happy with her choices in life.

she accepted a job at aurora bay college before coming to terms with the emotional and professional conflict she was having. she enjoys her job but is certainly very conflicted and is questioning whether or not she made the right decision.

zahra is bilingual and grew up speaking arabic with her father. she’s also fluent in french, can read german fairly well and studied hebrew, ancient greek and latin during her studies. her streak on duolingo is over two years long, but she doesn’t take it all that seriously. she just really likes mobile games and this one just happens to teach her languages, making it just a little more productive than candy crush.

an avid collector of all sorts of trinkets, zahra does not vibe with the minimalist aesthetic. her bedroom is full of knickknacks and keepsakes. she also collects books and dreams of being the sort of person who actually reads the books she buys. to be fair, she does read a lot, but it’s mostly stuff related to her research or the lectures she’s planning. all the new, exciting fiction books have gone unread for years. this fact has not slowed down her buying habits, though.

can be seen chain-smoking and cursing to herself at all hours of the day. when does she sleep? does she sleep? who knows.

some super vague connection ideas!

the stress has led to a lot of sleepless nights, resulting in her becoming a real night owl. she can be spotted frequenting places that are open late, and can be found chain-smoking and scrolling endlessly on social media. she would’ve undoubtedly run into some folks with similar schedules and habits.

any people with fun, interesting hobbies. after forming some sort of a connection, she would undoubtedly pester these individuals to teach her stuff. your girl needs to be distracted from her own thoughts.

zahra enjoys noisy music. so, a person willing to accompany her to gigs around the area. she’s happiest when it’s so loud she can’t hear anything at all.

friends/acquaintances/flings from minneapolis and/or princeton. would especially love to have some of her besties from high school.

people she has dated/hooked up with during her time in aurora bay.

she would have definitely been the sort of teen who had a pen pal. so, one of those would be super duper fun!

a neighbour who is trusted to watch her cat when she's busy or out of town!