My Take On Pnw Gothic

my take on pnw gothic

- something’s tapping your second-story window. there aren’t any trees or plants by it that could be causing the noise. its probably just the rain. probably. - the mountains close in on all sides of you, watching. their presence is so familiar it feels like home. - the road to your house is winding, going up a hill. your headlights catch a pair of eyes, staring back at you from the trees. in a moment they’re gone, vanished further into the darkness. - you’re driving through the country and pass through a town. its the same town you passed 30 minutes ago. you’ve been driving in a straight line the whole time. - in the winter you leave the house in the dark. you get home in the dark. you havent seen the sun in 4 months. - you step into a tiny little vintage shop. it goes on forever, taking twists and turns that seem impossible based on the outside dimensions. its filled with memories. memories and cowboy boots. when you finally leave 4 hours have passed. - its been a couple days without rain and the entire town is starting to get antsy. when it finally rains again you can feel everyone breathing a collective sigh of relief. - you see a group of crows. you try to remember the rhyme used to count them. one for sorrow, two for joy… theres seven of them. seven for a secret, never to be told. - september brings with it smoke and the faint terror that the fire is going to hop the river to where you are. ash is falling from the sky. life is continuing like this isnt happening. - it snowed again and the entire town is silent. we all know better than to try and go outside. - its dark out. you shut all the windows in the house. you don want to know what waits outside. - you’ve been driving for hours and have only seen a couple of lone houses sitting next to bright red barns. you wonder who lives there. the barns are falling down. - it rained all fall, winter, and spring. you want to light a campfire. there is a fire ban. theres always a fire ban. - everyone still has christmas lights up. its june. no one wants to go on their roofs to take them down. not again. - you rip out some blackberries. you’ve been at it for hours. your hands are bleeding. stupid blackberries. - youre being dragged to another pub. you order a burger on a brioche bun. thats all youve eaten for the past 5 meals. - it’s going to rain tomorrow at 12:47 pm. you havent checked your weather app, but you can smell it in the air. - you look out and its a sea of flannel and denim. the crowd looks like a swarm.

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i'm bitches fr

getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.

you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)

and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.