Sssssimmmbaaaaa

yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people

my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone

haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles

can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way

can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up

can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap

cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.

unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily

will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.

Elfo Knight of dreamland 3rd elf to leave and first and only to dismantle elfwood circ N/A : colorized and 3D rendered 2025.

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do 

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward 

His confines cannot hold him if he so chooses

coming out of my cage and i been doing just bad. going back in my cage because i like my cage

me: moral high horse? Oh no, this is my high moral horse.

horse, stoned as hell: legalisation is the most significant step of substance abuse harm reduction.

Reminder that you can block most ads on Android. yes, including youtube ads.

Steps: Download Firefox -> Install uBlock Origin extension.

That's literally it. Enjoy ad free web browsing while we still (barely) have it!

When Safety Is Optional

Hey, that’s me