Some Of Y'all Have Never Worked In Customer Service And It Shows

Eldritch abomination who threatens to show you "horrors beyond your comprehension" and then shows you a weird bug and it turns out they just think you're an idiot.

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

Maru is the best Stardew Valley gal. I will be taking no questions.

PS. Never point your telescope at the sun. Maru would say you should know better.

actually crying rn

dad’s back with stellar life advice 

Abandoned House In Detroit Brought Back To Life With 4,000 Flowers

me when I get to work and have to be nice to people

"If it doesn't scan, it must be free!" (And all variations thereof) is not funny, has never been funny, and the retail worker you said it to not only hates you now, but is dying more inside.