This Might Be Spoilers

I think it’s the fact that Aziraphale doesn’t actually want Crowley to change, not really, that kills me. He wants to protect him, make it easier for them to be together. He doesn’t want to be separated from him any more than Crowley wants to be. He still wants to be good and he thinks that in taking Crowley with him to Heaven they can still have the same relationship as they do on Earth. Aziraphale doesn’t understand, not like Crowley does. Crowley has been at the mercy of both Heaven and Hell, quite literally punished by both. Aziraphale went to Hell to save Crowley and witnessed the blunt cruelty of Hell. Aziraphale still believes Heaven to be pure because Heaven covers its corruption with ‘good’ intentions. Crowley knows better.

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

I don't think some of you should be coming down on Aziraphale so hard for his decision and I'm going to point out something not enough people take into consideration.

Just think of the circumstances he was in. He got offered a deal that could fix pretty much every single problem they have and that could consequently make both him and Crowley incredibly happy.

At least that's how he sees it. It all comes crashing down once he realises that that's not what Crowley wants. That it's not that easy for them to have that perfect life. Having that opportunity and then it being ripped right out of his hands. Just look at how giddy he was when he was telling Crowley, after which he straight up went into denial and refusing to listen to what Crowley has to say, because this. would. have. solved. everything.

But... it's not what Crowley wants. And it's not as if he can make him go with him to Heaven (thank god) because he's not that kind of person. He's not possessive or controlling. And more than anything he loves Crowley and up until that moment he had the perfect means to make him happy. And now it's gone.

So not only does he have this earth shattering realisation about Crowley and what he wants he also now has to deal with what he himself wants. Now if anyone knows how it feels to be in such a stressful and agonising dilemma over something, you will probably feel and emphasise with Aziraphale pretty hard in this scene. Because this is where old coping mechanisms start to hit. This is where he falls back on something reliable, something he can trust will make the right decision, and that is his old belief that Heaven is to be obeyed and that it can do no wrong, that is still so ingrained in his instincts and decision making. This is where his trauma comes into play.

And he fights it.

How fucking strong do you have to be to be able to fight your own gut feeling, that has been trained and created for millions of years. He actively tries to tell the Metatron "no" multiple times, shame that the Metatron is a master manipulator and doesn't let him the opportunity, but he still does it nonetheless.

(This is the part I wanted to point out) This boy had to make a life changing decision that would determine how he would spend the rest of eternity itself. And he didn't even have 10 minutes to make it.

He had only minutes to make this decision. Imagine the sheer soul-shattering heart-rending turmoil that has been going on inside him. The sheer panic and dread he was probably feeling.

And despite what millenia of training and what his thoughts and logic were telling him, he still followed his heart, he still chose Crowley... until the Metatron sensed exactly that and told him about the Second Coming.

Well, now that made things much simpler. His happiness or the universe. And he sacrificed himself. Again...

And to top it all off, he had to fucking smile. He has just lost everything he loves, earth, the bookshop, crepes... and Crowley. No. No, it's more than that. After Crowley's confession he realised he lost everything he never even had. Utterly and completely alone. And he cannot dare shed a tear. How. Fucking. Strong. Do you have to be to be able to do that.

I’ve been thinking. (Yes yes I know a dangerous thing to do) Van Eck treated Wylan the way he did because he couldn’t read and thought he wasn’t smart enough (even though he couldn’t have been more wrong) which makes me wonder. What would have happened if Van Eck met Kaz when he was a lot younger? I don’t even know where I’m going with this but here it is.

Bro absolutely COOKED with this.

ONCE AGAIN SPOILERS

Kaz: *Stares intently into Inej’s eyes, standing close to her* Me: Hmmmmmm don’t do it.

Kaz: *Smolders while taking Inej’s knifes”

Me: Doooooont do it.

Kaz: *Takes off his gloves before looking up with his head downcast*

Me: SCANDALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! Kaz: “May I?” Inej: “Yes.” Kaz: *Proceeds to pull Inej closer to him, caressing her face.*

Me: “ACK” *Dies*

Note: This was a beautiful moment, even if it was a hallucination. Not only did the actors do amazing, but the scene itself was perfect. I know I’m kinda making fun of it, but this was honestly one of the best scenes in the entire show.

Something that I noticed, but is probably super obvious or overthinking, but in the scene that Alastor talks about how “one can become accustomed” to being at the hotel with the others he’s still distant. He’s put himself higher than the rest of the hotel (until Nifty comes up with him). He never flat out says that he himself is becoming accustomed, but that one could, showing both his words and physical distance from the rest of the hotel. It’s also a really sweet scene that shows a bit more of his dynamic with Nifty, not really getting a scene with them by themselves so far in the show. I don’t know, it’s just really interesting to me how he not only distances himself away, puts himself higher, and then shows that he has his own way of caring directly. Which is kinda of a common theme with him, the situation with Mimzy for example?

For several years, Viktor’s leg caught my eye—specifically, I was searching for an official diagnosis and struggling to find something that fit him. After years of speculating, I believe I've found his condition's proper diagnosis and name.

Viktor has a rare and severe case of femoral anteversion in his right leg.

What exactly is femoral anteversion? It is a condition in which the femur rotates, causing the knees and feet to face inward rather than forward. This can impact one or both legs. This condition usually resolves on its own, but more severe cases require medical intervention such as leg braces, therapy, and surgery in more extreme instances—however, this condition is treatable.

This condition impacts children, typically the result of trauma, fetal development, or genetics. Viktor was likely born with this, which would propose that he’s either genetically predisposed to it or the result of a tough pregnancy.

This small scene is an excellent example. It’s only several seconds long, but here we can see that his leg is rotated inward, and he corrects it to face forward—which pains him as he visibly winces—all while Jayce speaks.

It’s noticeable when he’s a kid. You can see how his leg twists and faces inward and how his foot catches on the heel of his other foot, which causes him to trip. In episode 8, while he runs on the dock, he almost trips from this issue again before catching himself and sprinting. Viktor also has an in-toe gait; his step curves as he walks, while his other leg does not.

His leg brace, which we see in Act 2, serves one primary purpose: to force the leg to rotate and face the proper direction. However, at this stage, his condition has been left untreated for so long that it is progressing and showing a drastic impact on his entire body that the leg brace will not fix. It also makes mobility even more challenging for him, with difficulty bending and extending his leg.

This condition can throw the entire body out of whack if left untreated. It can cause pelvic issues, osteoarthritis, spinal decompensation, labral and chondral damage, hamstring-originated tendinopathy, and even weakening of the abdominal muscles, as well as a wide range of spinal problems. The feet, hips, and back are significant body parts that work together; if one is bad, the rest will suffer.

Viktor would require a femoral derotation osteotomy; however, given the severity of his condition and how other parts of his body are now significantly impacted--such as his pelvis and spine, we now have more complications on our hands and that's not even touching on his unnamed lung disease.

There's still so much I could discuss here, and perhaps later, after work; I have a handful of notes I've taken about this and how it all just ties together for Viktor, and honestly, it has been really fun to look at and analyze.