Not Gonna Lie I Really Wanna Write Fanfic... Smutty. Fanfic.

fucks sake

Oh thank you my new god

Just a gentle reminder for tumblr users with anxiety, panic disorders or who get nervous quickly: 

- Chain mail, “reblog this or..” posts etc. don’t work. They’re not real. Nothing bad will happen if you don’t forward that mail or reblog that post. 

- “If you don’t reblog this, you’re a bad person” is a lie. You’re not a bad person for not clicking a button. 

- You are allowed to unfollow blogs that post triggering contents. 

- You’re not weak or a crybaby for avoiding things that are triggering. Far from it, you’re taking care of yourself. That’s amazing! 

Jesus Christ its all true: They're taking over us

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

Me in 1 sentence

I'm such a "pretends to be fine so no one suspects anything and then cries cause no one realized that I wasn't fine" kinda person

Okay people fucking storytime.

So i live in an apartment building, on the second of the two levels.

We have a balcony. Both my parents are tobacco smokers, so when they go out on the patio for a cigarrete, I have 3-6 minutes to do whatever the fuck i want sneakily.

So mom went outside and as she did so, my little sister jumped on the dog. The dog squeaked like a firework and acted the same way, wildly running around the house and knocking over a lamp while my little sister sits on the livivg room floor giggling like a manic. What mom did not know, about the situation however, was that when the dog knocked over the lamp, she knocked over my succulents. Which were hiding... *things*... In the dirt (a set of keys, 3 throwing knives, and a bloody towel. I had a really bloody nose one day from being nervous and the towel was hidden in between the pot and the plant holder itself. The throwing knives were in there for easy access and the keys were hidden there for reasons i cant discuss without getting arrested.)

Anywho. Im hurriedly trying to pick up my stashed items when

A fucking knife is lodged into my shirt lodging into a wall.

My little sister smiled innocently, and then I saw it: my dog had her paw on a fucking stool.

SHE CATAPULTED A THROWING KNIFE AT ME

That escalated quickly and @dear-ao3 Jesus fucking christ you need a hug and some chocolate

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

What genius-

The wittle face wubs awre da cutewst

puipui_the_bunny on ig