I Was Flabbergasted, But I Had To Laugh, He Ate Him Up Badly.

I’m using ao3 the way god intended: via 36 open semi-abandoned tabs on my phone at 2 AM the night before work

When he's fucking stupid: 😍

Sektor: OMG! Guys, he’s going through that giant actively closing portal! Let’s retreat and—

Bi-Han:

I was a casual Bucktommy enjoyer. But then Buck’s face when he said ‘I kinda can’t stop thinking about him’ turned me into a shipper.

My hyper focus tendencies won't let me care about anything else honestly 🤷🏽🤷🏽

Happy pride to my sweet dumb ally✨🏳️‍🌈

🌈 this one goes out to the best ally aka canonically bi evan buckley

Like, tommy stole my heart, I'm sorry.

So I was rewatching Saltburn and I had an epiphany!

Farleigh is in love with Oliver.

Like, embarrassingly, stupidly, head over heels.

I mean, I knew he had a thing for Ollie, with the jealously telling Felix about him and Venetia, the Richard III would put in the work line followed by him being completely disarmed when Oliver suggests that he fucks him, and then the actual Oliver seducing him scene, but I only just realized the extent of it and how far back it goes.

First of all, Farleigh notices Oliver before Oliver sees Felix for the first time.

Yes, I got the script because I'm complete Saltburn trash at this point. So when Farleigh is introduced, the script describes him as beautiful and pansexual, walking among a group of alpha hotties. So in the film, he's with two hotties, a guy and a girl. He has his pick. There's no reason for him to point out Oliver or what he's wearing to them, unless he's trying to impress them, but why would Farleigh Start need to impress them? He's already the centre of that group. Sure the script also describes him as an imp with a cruel streak, but after rewatching I feel like that's a blatant misdirection. I mean, he got expelled for sucking off teachers. Nerdy prep is exactly his type.

He says, "Hey cool jacket," to Oliver. If you interpret that line as being delivered by the beautiful and pansexual Farleigh Start, not the impish and cruel Farleigh Start, it's pretty much a come on. I'm mixed race like Farleigh and it kind of reminds me of those back-handed compliments white people give you when they think you're hot or cute 'for a brown person.' It's kind of hilarious to see it subverted like this, but obviously Oliver is less amused. Why would he interpret it as anything other than more bullying? Which it kind of is, so fair enough. But it's the kind of bullying people do when they get a crush they don't know how to handle. A little boy pulling on a girls pigtails. And it's obviously worked for Farleigh before. Why would he need to try any harder than that?

After Farleigh's comment, Oliver sees Felix for the first time. Farleigh is also there, but Oliver's already smitten and doesn't really notice him beyond, "Oh, it's that jerk from earlier and he's next to Felix, where I should be." Then you get a few other bits that wreck me. Oliver ducking from the window when Felix looks up, Oliver trying to sit at Felix (and Farleigh)'s table at the mess hall, but being unable to, Michael causing the disruption, but it doesn't even interrupt Felix and Farleigh's conversation. (Which ties in nicely to my theory of how the original Oliver wouldn't have gotten Felix's attention even if he screamed, he had to mold himself into what Felix wanted just to get noticed, but one theory at a time).

Next up, we have the tutor session that Farleigh is late for. Before Farleigh gets there, Oliver is humiliated and belittled for completing the reading list, which dooms Farleigh even more when he shows up and the tutor starts fawning over him. Oliver doesn't know Farleigh and Felix are cousins yet. He's just the guy that was snide to Oliver when he first got there. The guy at Felix's side that Oliver keeps measuring himself against. So yeah, Oliver is pissed off before Farleigh gets there and that cute little knee touch isn't going to change anything.

Yes, Farleigh, I also count the amount of times my crush uses a word in their essay despite still being hungover from last night's party, just so that I have something to talk to him about… Oh wait, no, that's just you.

The way he looks up at Oliver with those big brown doe eyes when he says, "I counted". The way he keeps looking up to gauge his reaction to all his comments. The way he's looking at him, period.

And Oliver doesn't fall for his cuteness and charm because he's just convinced that the intent behind his words is malicious. Poor Farleigh. He must have been so confused. People usually fold but here's this guy, meeting him blow for blow. He's never had to "put in the work" like this. What the hell.

The tutor sessions with Oliver and Farleigh (where Farleigh is framed lower than Oliver) actually serve as a nice parallel to a lot of the scenes where Oliver and Felix are together (and Oliver is framed lower than Felix). We don't really see that when Farleigh and Felix are together. They're usually at a similar height in those scenes.

Then we have the scene in the bar where Felix calls Oliver over and Farleigh has that panicked, "Oh shit, my crush is here," look on his face before it settles into resignation as he realizes Oliver is, "another one of Felix's toys". Finally the mystery is solved. This is why Oliver didn't fall for his charms at the tutor sessions.

So, Oliver prefers Felix to him, huh. That's just fine. He'll deal with the rejection by giving Oliver a hard time about buying the next round. That should push him away from Felix…oh shit, it brings them closer together. And now he looks like the douchebag.

Then there's this bit where Farleigh is looking at Oliver and Felix (mostly Oliver, the prior shot establishes which side of the room he's on, which happens to be where Farleigh's looking) and his party hat horns mirror the minotaur/how Oliver looked when he confessed his love to Felix later on. Oliver, you need to see how much Farleigh fucking loves you. Look at him, Ollie. Just look at him. (He can't, he's too busy looking at Felix)

Anything to get Oliver to notice him. Anything.

Cut to Oliver's arrival at Saltburn, where Oliver joins the rest of them in the library and Farleigh loudly cuts off Elspeth gossiping about Oliver and his parents because hearing, "We were just talking about you" would be better than hearing whatever was going to come out of Elspeth's mouth next. And I mean, he's already the asshole. This is actually so sweet.

And we all remember this scene. This clearly made his day.

But then we get the encounter with Venetia and Felix and Farleigh both being equally pissed at the breakfast table. And yeah, everything goes downhill from there. It's the reason Oliver seduces him and gets him thrown out for what's literally just another desperate attempt to drive a wedge between Oliver and Felix.

No, Oliver, he's not going to behave. God, yes. Don't stop.

Farleigh was down so bad he literally got honeytrapped and framed. Twice.

Between Felix, Oliver and Farleigh, there are really no winners. They really all got wrecked by love, huh.

He loves her too much, i'm in love with this couple <3

#sssnippetaday

“What’s the worst part about living with your wife?”

.

“Ah well, you know. Temari’s a little scary.”

Shikamaru said this often, but Sasuke has a feeling he liked that about the Suna woman. 

“Ino has far more things than I do, I often forget I live there too. Her side of the closet is actually the entire closet.”

“Hinata doesn’t let me eat ramen everyday so…I guess that can be a bummer.” 

“Yeah, Karui sometimes doesn’t buy enough snacks,” Chouji pouts.  

“And you, Sasuke?” The group turns to look at him, silent as usual. 

He thinks about it. What was the worst part about living with Sakura? Their life together hadn’t been as traditional as others; they spent the first part of their marriage on the road and Sasuke was forced to be away from the village often. 

But if he really had to say…

Well, for starters, she’s a bit of a blanket hoarder. She loves to cuddle, making it terribly difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Yes, she is awfully distracting much of the time. 

She makes him feel a little bad for being reckless when she has to heal him. 

And her hair, her hair gets everywhere. Fine pink strands often littered the bathroom floor if she had yet to vacuum in a while. But, in her defense, Sasuke’s hair is about the same length and clogs the drain just as much. 

She has a rotten sweet tooth and has passed it down to their daughter. The cabinet is always full of little treats or disgustingly healthy soldier pills, there’s no in between. She teases him endlessly and embarrassingly, she makes him blush. 

But he doesn’t feel like sharing these pieces of their life with the others, so he shrugs. Despite usually favoring bluntness, he tells a little lie, “I’m not home often enough to find something to complain about.”

The other men move on to a different topic, feeling a bit guilty that Sasuke is the one always out there protecting the village. Sasuke sits in silence, wondering when Sakura’s hospital shift would be over so he could go home to his wife.

Me when the past can’t be changed only dealt with