Goddess Of Absolute Tomfoolery™️

reigen

Aaah yes I love this idea!

ok listen. hear me out. A:TLA au where the Air Temple Avatar dies with the rest of his temple when the Fire Nation attacks. The next 2 Avatars don’t manage to make it to a Ripe Old Age, but possibly they both manage to keep their identity a secret for a few decades each, since everyone knows the Fire Nation would track you down and kill you if they thought they had found the Avatar.

So no one has seen the Avatar for around 100 years. Zuko gets sent on his impossible quest to find the Avatar, only to find out that he is the Avatar.

He has to pretend to be hunting for the Avatar, all while grappling with what this means for his identity, and his place within the Fire Nation, and, as always, his Honor. 

When there’s rumors that the Avatar really is back, the “chase” is on. Iroh wants him to learn water bending. Zuko hasn’t really come to terms with everything yet and really doesn’t want to find an actual teacher, so he tells Iroh fine, but they’re looking in the Southern Water Tribe first (thinking there’s no benders left there, and desperately stalling). He ends up finding a teacher who’s probably as reluctant to teach him as he is reluctant to learn from her. 

Zuko always reports that he’s “one step behind” the Avatar, to cover for the fact that he shows up wherever theres Avatar rumors/sightings, at about the same time. 

I’m not sure exactly how he would get around the whole “you look exactly like him” in this universe. Maybe the Avatar is the Blue Spirit. Maybe Zuko’s scar is in a less visible place? Maybe Katara + Avatar Powers manage to heal his scar, so no descriptions of the Avatar that make it back to Ozai and Pals matches what they Know Zuko looks like? maybe everyone he meets as “the Avatar” tells him he looks just like that Fire Nation Prince and he goes “nah, his scar is on the other side”.

How does he learn air bending? Maybe all the air temples didn’t get destroyed after all. maybe Aang wasn’t the Avatar in this AU, but he and a few others survived in hiding, until Zuko finds them - Bumi tells him where to find Aang, since they still write letters to each other (imagine “hello, zuko here!” in a whole new context).

He manages to hide all this from his father, and even from Azula. When he learns that he has to kill Ozai, his own father, its not easy. There’s a lot of turmoil, and he may or may not come to the same conclusion that Aang came to in the show. 

But also imagine the dramatique, reverse-No-Luke-I-Am-Your-Father moment, where he finally confronts Ozai, and Ozai goes “you? stand up to me? the dishonored, exiled ex-princeling? You’re pathetic. you couldn’t even find the Avatar” “Find him? I am the Avatar” and then Zuko fucks him up real good.

matching tridentarii tarot cards commissioned by @powerbottomblake my beloved <33333

I'm going to start posting my drawings, why not i guess. Have a doggo ^_^ (is a boxer i think?)

lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races

Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman

Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max

Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets

Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive

Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them to and just assumes they have a plan

Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like

Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)

-Grass - Leaves

-Stones - a hair tie

-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes

The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat

Maglor’s Fate theories ranked from least to most absurd

(with links to relevant AO3 fics because I know you’ll love that)

Eventually died, possibly during the sinking of Beleriand. Seems to be implied by Mandos mentioning that he will have Fëanor’s sons in his halls (Maglor is not mentioned separately from the others who definitely died)

Will wander forever unable to return home due to his unfulfillable Oath. Eventually fades from existence, his physical body slowly decaying due to the Marring of Arda until his spirit is left to haunt the shores. Fulfills the “your deeds will forever be a matter of song” part of the Doom.

Eventually pardoned long after the Third Age and builds his own makeshift raft to get there. Alternatively called “Nerdanel bullies the Valar to get what she wants.”

Tossed into the Void along with his father and brothers as punishment for their crimes as per the wording of the Oath [x]

Hunted down by Sauron as petty revenge (maybe at Celebrimbor, maybe just at the Feanorians in general, maybe just because Sauron got bored) [x, x, x, x]

Living in Rivendell during the Third Age, probably under the name Lindir. Fits with “The Lost Road” where he was said to live with Elrond for a while after the First Age. [x]

Cohabiting with Daeron and possibly Nimloth. Maybe they eventually sail. Maybe they don’t. [x, x]

Beach hermit who is dragged home against his will by Elrond at the end of the Third Age. [x, x, x]

Beach hermit who grudgingly befriends Cirdan this could end well [x] or it could end in tragedy [x]

Bonds with Bilbo over maps (and pastries). Bilbo did not initially know who this strange hobo Elf was, but once he figures it out Bilbo manages to trick him into reuniting with Elrond [x]

Tossed into the Void as per the Oath, but is rescued by the sheer determination (and stupidity) of Elrond Half Elven. [x]

Rescued by Eönwë, his ex boyfriend. Yes I am ranking my OTP as absurd. No I am not accepting notes. [x]

Tom Bombadill. That’s it. That’s the theory. [x, x, x]

Convinces the men of Gondor to jail him for his crimes and becomes a sort of pseudo-prophet for the Gondorians for centuries. Eventually yelled at by Elrond. [x]

Joins the Fellowship of the Ring, not because he wanted to, but because it sounded like no one else who volunteered was actually qualified [x]

Shows up during the Hobbit to yell at people about the foolishness of going to war over pretty Jewels [x]

Becomes Homer, the blind Greek playwright. May or may not also be Shakespeare.

Lives on through the modern age, eventually decides that five dollar monthly margaritas at Chili’s are better than Valinor.

Kidnapped by Earendil (on orders from Elrond). The Valar allow it because if Earendil is okay with him then can they really argue??? [x]

Actually Celebrimbor: There’s a reason Celebrimbor wasn’t mentioned in the original drafts of the Silm and was thrown in as an after thought, and that’s because Elrond and ‘Celebrimbor’ took advantage of the fact that most of Nargothrond died to create a cover story for where this ‘new’ Fëanorian came from.

Killed during the Third Age, by a werewolf who is actually Finrod [x]

Befriends some dude named John Ronald Ruel and tells him stories that the Oxford professor eventually adapts and turns into an epic tale. Discrepancies in the canon can be attested to JRRT deciding to “improve” things.

Actually JRR Tolkien himself, after writing down his crimes and ensuring that his crimes will never be forgotten, he eventually allows himself to die. Discrepancies in the canon can be attested to confusion brought about by damage from his Oath and ensuing madness.

Crablor

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

Reminds me of the old aang post

ATLA where everything is the same but Aang’s an adult.

Katara (still 14, no Kataang obviously) and Sokka (still 15) find this adult in the iceberg who initially seems like a very powerful godlike figure but ultimately turns out to be this hyperactive soul with the powers of a god. They realize that they need to accompany him to help him on his journey but there’s the additional factor of him looking after them because they’re teenagers and he’s supposed to be the responsible adult.

That said:

“Sokka, Katara, wake up! You two are about to witness one of the greatest airbending techniques that has ever been created!”

The whole show develops a Doctor Who feel with this god-in-an-adult-body putting himself on the line to defend humanity one moment before tripping over a fez display the next.

The first time Katara and Sokka are in danger, they look up in awe and see:

And then the very next scene has this:

“Welcome to Kyoshi Island! Incidentally, one of my regenerations was called Kyoshi, probably not related, come on over here, come on, check this out, these koi fish are some of the largest fish in the world, known to be very docile creatures but they have the tendency to emit poisonous stingers if they’re touched and I—” *Puts hands on hips* “—I’m gonna ride one.”

“…What?”

“Gonna ride one!”

There’s that whole Ice Age 2 subplot where Sokka and Katara have to find Aang a suitable wife so that he can help repopulate the airbenders. 40-something-year-old Aang sits down and listens to 15 year old Sokka give him a speech on how to woo women. He takes notes. There’s a running gag where Sokka and Katara just keep picking horrible candidates.

*Being reluctantly pushed towards that old woman from The Blue Spirit* “Uh, guys, I’m not—”

“Look, man, do you want to save the airbenders or not?”

“Come on, Aang, she has a cat, you like cats.”

Zuko’s still a 16 year old kid who like comes up to Aang’s chest and constantly challenges him to Agni Kais for the sake of honor and Aang’s just like:

Toph’s still a 12 year old blind girl who kicks Aang’s ass.

By the time Book Three comes along, Aang’s storming into Ozai’s palace holding a baby chain with like twenty adopted kids.

There’s potential here.

I clearly don't have a favorite merc, i don't know what you're talking about. 🤣 I like them all tho, maybe i'll do demoman next.

i like to imagine that clark kent’s search history is mostly normal but then there’s stuff like “improved superman costume concept art” because he wanted ideas