My Contribution To The Humans Are Space Orcs, It’s Probably Been Seen Before But Oh Well.

Willow and Tara from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

CANON GAY COUPLES

(please reblog and add more!)

Rachel and Luce from Imagine Me And You

Waverley and Haught from Wynonna Earp

Magnus and Alec from Shadowhunters

Billy and Teddy from Young Avengers, Marvel

Ruby and Sapphire from Steven Universe

Mitch and Cameron from Modern Family

Holt and Kevin from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Isak and Even from Skam

Emily and Naomi from Skins UK

Alex and Maggie from Supergirl

Stef and Lena from The Fosters

I am in possession of knoledge of species who spend all of the chronons contained within their lifespans, contrary to the earlier statement, this planet does seem to exist as an outlier in that regard.

More Space Australia headcannons

Okay so imagine humans being the only ones with hobbies? Other alien cultures might be diverse, but you kind of just do one thing with your life? The aliens find what they like and specialise in that particular field for the rest of their lives? Which by the way can span centuries.

Meanwhile, humans might work as garbage collectors but also be really good at music? Work as baristas but spend the rest of their time writing a novel or dreaming about acting? Or work three jobs so they can afford going to med school or law school? And maybe even play a sport fairly good on top of that, like tennis or rock climbing or whatever? Or be really good at building stuff or painting or do math or sing or play video games?

Imagine the human being bored in mess hall and start drawing their crew mates.

“Human Dana, I thought you were in charge of communication?”

“I am, why do you ask?”

“Human Dana, you are clearly pursuing the art of painting. Did something happen that made you want to change your life around? Do you need assistance?”

“Lay off, I’m just doodling.”

“Human Dana, I have never heard of anyone doing two careers at once. It is not safe!”

“Look, I always doodled, since I was a child, okay?”

“This is highly unusual!”

Dana catches the eye of another human waving in their direction.

“I have to go, me and Sam are going down to play basketball in the holodeck. Wanna come?”

The alien spluttered. There must have been some kind of mistake. Only engineers were allowed on this flight. Painters and athletes had no place there. And yet, Human Dana did their duties as part of the crew. There were no doubt they were an engineer.

The alien sighed. Their command had warned them that the humans were more than they seemed. They just hadn’t said how much more.

Humans are Scary (humans are weird)

Ok, so just imagine that one day the crew lands on an new planet. And the usual scout and research team goes out to explore the planet. (So this team is made out of highly skilled aliens, and two humans. One a protector and one a medic.) So they’re going around this planet exploring things and all is good. That is, until the healer wanders off because he found a whole field of a rare herb. Awhile later the protector see’s that the medic is not with the rest of the group any more, so he starts yelling out his name. The aliens catch on and they start to yell their name too, one even tried to read his heat signature. But then they hear him yell “Im over here guys, don’t worry” proceeded by a scream. And the aliens freak out because “oh my gosh I’ve never seen a human run that fast” The aliens catch up to them to see a huge sabertooth like creature across the field from the medic. The protector instantly yells out the medics name and runs in between the sabertooth and the medic. The sabertooth backs up, confused. But then it starts to growl at the pair, showing its sharp teeth in the process. The protector haunches his back and snarls at him. He moves his lips back to show off his canine teeth, then let out a deep, primal sound. The sabertooth growled again and swiped at the human, who dodged and took a step foreword, letting out another deep snarl towards the creature. The protector lunged foreword and grabbed onto one of the massive fangs using as leverage before he plunged a dagger into the sabers eye. The creature flailed around and ran back into the bush. The human got up ad stared into the bush waiting for it to come back. The aliens just stare at the human in terror because, “humans aren’t suppose to be like that.” The protector finally let his defensive stance go after staring into the bush. He knelt down to the medic and hugged him whispering little things into the others ear and rubbing his back. The aliens learned something new about humans that day: Never mess with a humans mate.

Throwing My Hat into the “Humans Are Weird” Thing

So what if all the other alien species evolved from Prey Species? Like, humans show up on the galactic scene and everyone is weirded out by the appearance of this species with eyes on the front of their heads and binocular vision, and crazy good senses of hearing and smell compared to everyone else.

And then it hits them.

They just made first contact with a race of sapient, intelligent Apex Predators. Eventually, after the panic dies down and the other races realize that humans aren’t going to eat them, they realize how good they are under pressure. They can hear and smell things before anyone else, are capable of going days without food if they have to, weeks with very little food. Or, they can pull off these insane feats of accuracy with their binocular vision. Or smell what dinner is from three rooms away, or hear a ship’s system failure before the alarm sounds.

Humans are crazy and can do things that sometimes shouldn’t be physically or realistically possible. We relish the chance to break new barriers, to prove someone wrong, to spit in the face of reason and say screw it all for the sake of seeing if we CAN make it work.

But.

The lengths we will go to to avoid doing things we just DONT like? We’ll give away even our most valuable resources. Strike deals with devils hundreds of times over. Employ extreme avoidance tactics. Even go to the point of begging on our knees for aid in avoiding the action. Cousins bargain away their most cherished rations, memorabilia and even monetary items to get out of sitting by that one relative at dinner. Siblings sell themselves to each other for labor, snacks and sole rights to consoles and transportation to get an alibi for a few short hours. Humans will scour every inch of their living quarters and tackle every project in their command in under 24 hours JUST to avoid that load of laundry in the dryer, or that single research paper on the Scarlett letter. Proud friends and family alike will fall to their knees and beg JUST to get out of changing that diaper or watching that one wild child.

Humans may be proud,collected, mad geniuses who break barriers and physics just to see if they can and stare death in the face to see who flinches first But there is nothing on earth or heaven above we will not do to avoid the tiniest things. And i think that’s beautiful.

I will not let my brood mother perish

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

okay, so like there’s all this stuff about humans and the way we befriend all sorts of animals. but like, think about the way we interact with our pets. what if it’s not just the fact that we made friends with predators but that theses predators made friends with us back. the fact that there is a really clear bond between a dog or a cat and their owners and it’s reciprocal. the absolute love and devotion these companion animals show for us and us for them. think about the way you play with your pet and how an alien species might view it. or the fact that there’s a kind of rudimentary communication between species. the fact that I can tell the difference between my cat’s distressed meows vs. his i’m hungry meows. the fact that he prods me with a paw to get my attention, because he knows it works. that I can tell at a glance that my cat wants me to lay down a certain way so he can sleep on me. or the little greeting ritual me and my cat do when I come home for work – he meows really loud to be picked up… I sweep him into my arms and pet him, cooing goofy nonsense while he makes weird contented cat noises. think how absolutely flabbergasted an alien might be by the relationship between a human and their pet.

Okay, so going off the whole space Australia thing, imagine aliens would think of ACTUAL AUSTRALIA. Humans are batshit insane, we do some crazy shit, but a decent amount of us are shocked by the mere concept of living in Australia. That place is no joke, it’s a death trap of a continent that somehow became a badass country. You don’t fuck with Australia.

Alien: what is a kangaroo?

Human: oh, it’s an animal from Australia. They hop around and the carry their kids in pouches. They may be cute, but don’t get them angry, they can kill you.

The…the human is actually WARNING them of something? The human is AFRAID?

Human: that’s just Australia for you, though. Literally EVERYTHING on that continent can kill you, so I guess it’s not THAT off. Be careful if you ever go to Australia, though. It’s a very dangerous place.

And this all of the aliens avoid Australia at all costs because if the fucking HUMANS are scared then it must be the most dangerous and frightening place ever.

Variety

We as humans thrive on variety. We need variety in our food, our schedules, our lives! Without variety there is a possibility that we can die. And boy do we every come up with stuff so that never happens.We make new dishes, we constantly change up our schedules so that it is no longer repetitive, we have different types of clothing and/or different needs in a mate. Of course we have even made food that can look the same but taste completely different(or the other way around!) just to have some changes. An alien could be used to seeing a human walk by them at exactly 16:00 and accept that as part of their schedule. Now when the human wants more variety and walks a different way to get to the same spot, all the aliens that have become adjusted to that human walking by them would either be awfully confused or deeply afraid because they can no longer follow their schedule like they were supposed too. Thus, chaos reins in the ship because one human wanted some variety.

4th Dimensional sensitivity? This will cause the Invasion to become far more difficult.

My contribution for the humans are weird: Deja Vu eddition

The concept of deja vu. Like it doesn’t happen that often to humans so it’s pretty normal if aliens didn’t know that can happen to a human. Maybe it only happens to humans and aliens misunderstand the entire concept.

One time on an away mission we encountered it first. It was with human-Chloe, our pilot. I and a few others were with her sent to explore an unknown asteroid belt. It was fairly dangerous but we had learned that human instinct, their so called ‘gut feeling’ was quite handy at times. So the captain assigned her with us. I still don’t know how the human gut is involved in their logical thinking, something that to known knowledge happens in their brains, but who knows with that species. 

We had mapped the outer rings and were busy with the inner parts of the belt, all went well. Human-Chloe cut some close edges, she calls it efficient manoeuvring, I call it nausiating, but we finished mapping the belt and were ready to fly back. I was watching human-Chloe closely, trying to brace myself for her ‘efficient manoeuvring’ when I noticed her shift uncomfertable in her chair. ‘Is everything okay human-Chloe?’ I asked. She turned around and brushed it off. ‘Oh, just deja vu.’ ‘What is that? Are you alright?’ I asked. Humans are know to be able to brush of major pain when they are busy. I looked outside anxiously. We were flying through a dense astroid field, human-Chloe needed to be in top condition for this and her frowning didn’t reasure me at all.

‘I just feel like I’ve experienced this before.’ Human-Chloe explained. She made a sharp turn, way to sharp if you ask me. ‘It’s nothing to worry about.’ I didn’t dare question her any further, instead held on for dear life as she nearly crashed into some astroids. I never knew humans were sensitive to the fourth dimension. But it would explain why human-Chloe wasn’t worried at all when cutting close edges. If she knew what was going to happend then that would explain why she was such a good pilot. This was great news, fourth dimentional sensitives on our crew! I knew there was more to that ‘gut-feeling’ of theirs.

When we got back I immediately went to update the system on our human knowledge. Weird they never mentioned it before, maybe humans think everyone has that. I can’t wait to ask human-Chloe how their 4D sensitivity works in detail!!