Here A Message For Everyone Who Needs To Hear It:

You are still here. You are still breathing. All the things you have messed up: the words you ended up regretting, the mistakes you made at work or the tests you failed at shool; they simply do not matter. At the end of the day all that really counts is that you are still trying and that your heart is still beating.

Love these, my favorites are, in no particular order:

Little one

Kitten

Princess

Favorite Daddy Phrases

Questions:

~Who’s in charge? ~Who owns you? ~What did I say? ~Do I make myself clear? ~Do you remember your rules? ~Do you need to be punished? ~What did you just say? ~Are you going to be a good girl? ~Who’s my good girl? ~Who do I love the most? ~How’s my little girl? ~What’s my little girl doing? ~Are you in little space? ~What are you coloring/drawing? ~How are your stuffies? ~Can Daddy join? ~Are you taking care of yourself? ~Have you eaten enough? ~Are you drinking enough? ~Have you taken your meds? ~Are you ready for bed? ~Are you snuggled in bed?

Commands:

~Listen to Daddy ~Don’t disobey Daddy ~Do it for Daddy ~Be a good girl ~Speak up ~Use your words ~Stay close to Daddy ~Be safe ~Show Daddy what you’re wearing ~Show Daddy your favorite little outfits ~Show Daddy your coloring/drawing ~Show Daddy your favorite stuffies ~Tell Daddy about your day ~Go to bed, princess ~Close your eyes, baby

Reassurance:

~Good girl ~You’re such a good girl ~I’m so proud of you! ~You did such a good job! ~I love you so much ~You’re my one and only ~I only want you ~I’m not going anywhere ~I promise ~You’re such a cutie! ~My little girl ~Daddy loves when you’re in little space ~You make Daddy so happy!

Pet Names:

~Kitten ~Princess ~Babe ~Baby ~Baby Girl ~Little Girl ~Little One ~Angel ~Bunny ~Love ~Lovie ~Sweetie ~Sweetheart ~My Future Wife ~Wifey ~My Nerd ~My Dork ~My Girl ~My One and Only

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

things people have done to help me during a psychoses episode

i was on the buss and i hallucinated bugs crawling all over my hands, so my friend pulled my hoodie sleeves over them with permission and held my hands through the sleeves to "keep them off". they used the logic you would in a real bug situation.

i went nonverbal in a bad one in class, so my friend wrote me a note to give to the nurse since the teacher wouldn't let her go with me.

i often am very paranoid about the delusion that meat is actually rotten, so my dad will sometimes eat a bit of it before me

instead of telling me my delusions arent real, they help me through it using logic like it was real. they dont tell me that nothings going to hurt me in my sleep, they stay with me to keep me safe. then when it passes i can realize its not real

For example:

I really like The Twilight Saga

I prefer snakes to any other creature

I like plain white milk (I didn’t think this was odd until recently when someone pointed it out)

(I’ll add more as I think of some)

Controversial opinion, but ur allowed to like things that suck

Like, sometimes there are just shows or books that are so goddamn awful for any number of reasons… But ya still like ‘em somehow, and that’s fine

It’s not required to write a 20+ page essay defending why you enjoy something shitty, you can just… Enjoy shitty things

Not all content is made equally and you’re allowed to like things that are far from perfect

Like, just, “This show sucks, but I like it anyway” is a totally valid response

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

Keep in mind please, all these journalists in gaza and Palestinians who communicate what's happening in Gaza are communicating in English for a reason, accessibility. Us arab speaking and arabs and people in the Mena region understand all of it, know all of it, grew up with all of it unfolding, we know... They need you to know, they are speaking your language and accessible language for you to hear and share. It's easy to communicate through numbers and dehumanising reporting but storytelling and reporting is important and appealing to you through your language is another privilege you have yet to acknowledge.

Consent is so important in everything, please, pleeeease ask for consent, I’m begging you. Don’t just assume that whatever it is is ok, if in doubt, A S K