Us ?? ;p

i feel like it shouldn’t be this hard to find a bf like wtf

Things to do with your (problematically) younger girlfriend:

•Take her on dates and act like her father.

•Choke her while she's crying for you to let her breathe.

•Call her 'little lamb' and 'bunny'.

•Carry her around.

•Taunt her with "Look at you getting fucked by a guy older than your father".

•Stroke her hair while she has practically passed out from overstimulation.

•Let her tie a ribbon around your bicep.

•Smoke with her, light her cigarette, blow the smoke into her mouth.

"What that mouth do?" Go nonverbal.

put me in my place (between your legs, sucking your cock dumbly while you stroke my hair)

when someone tells me that the older man im speaking to is grooming me but i wanted him first

shes so me I AM Grace Chasity don't even play with me </3

My desire to see the foster girls happy + my soul-deep need to put paul matthews in situations have collided in a cataclysmic and frankly irreversible way and i've decided i'm going to make it everyone's problem. what you're telling me this man doesn't deserve a "world's okayest dad" mug ???

i've fine-tuned the lore to this incredibly silly au yapping abound under the cut

the gist is pam is both lex and han's mom but only paul is hannah's father. it was a one night stand which didn't go well (that's the last time paul ever gives in to ted's goading to "loosen up" and "do something crazy"). paul eventually takes lex in and adopts her because of the few times he's seen the way pam treat her + he wants the sisters to be able to grow up together. Normal Man went from a recent college graduate in a brand new job with no immediate plan or intention to have kids to a seasoned father of two in the span of like a year. idk but if u ask ME this is the universe's way of saying paul matthews was meant to be a girldad he's just unlocking his full potential

hold me down and show me how strong you are >_<