He Said, ‘Behave Yourself,’ With That Smirk Of His, And All I Could Think Was, ‘Make Me.’ Preferably

"your my property, understand?"

"shh it's okay baby, daddy's almost done"

"Ah ah.. Who said you could stop? Hm?"

"good girl, such a good fucking girl for me."

"no no, keep going baby."

that shit is making me FUCKING CRAZY

The feminine urge to be someone’s problematically young gf 😖

omg I NEED an older man to put me in my place so badly it's insane

My desire to see the foster girls happy + my soul-deep need to put paul matthews in situations have collided in a cataclysmic and frankly irreversible way and i've decided i'm going to make it everyone's problem. what you're telling me this man doesn't deserve a "world's okayest dad" mug ???

i've fine-tuned the lore to this incredibly silly au yapping abound under the cut

the gist is pam is both lex and han's mom but only paul is hannah's father. it was a one night stand which didn't go well (that's the last time paul ever gives in to ted's goading to "loosen up" and "do something crazy"). paul eventually takes lex in and adopts her because of the few times he's seen the way pam treat her + he wants the sisters to be able to grow up together. Normal Man went from a recent college graduate in a brand new job with no immediate plan or intention to have kids to a seasoned father of two in the span of like a year. idk but if u ask ME this is the universe's way of saying paul matthews was meant to be a girldad he's just unlocking his full potential

I fear that I get attached to fast and that’s my problem

shes so me I AM Grace Chasity don't even play with me </3

April Ludgate is beautiful. Stop. You are talented. No. But most importantly, you're passionate about animals. That's true. It's because I'm half wolf.

Aubrey Plaza as April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation (2009-2015) created by Greg Daniels and Michael Schur

need this so bad