finding comfort in homes broken differently than yours
Sometimes I’m reminded that all of franks adopted children roofied him and shoved a load of anal beads up his ass and I think yep that’s my favourite show
He makes me so ill,,, He just wants affection aaaaa!!! My evil blorbo come back to me meow.
macdennis - affection
the idea of Ruth as a trans allegory has me crying in the club
(SPOILERS FOR NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE GO WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)
the idea of discovering something more to yourself that you want to show the world, but feel stuck in what people say you need to be rather than what you really are hits really close to home
Max Jagerman saying “you’re a nerd cause I said so. i willed it into existence.” represents how the more acceptable, “normal” people project what someone is supposed to be onto them without considering what they truly are, to keep them in a box, a box that Ruth is trying to break out of
when Max is presumed dead, it represents those expectations being lifted off of those who were affected, allowing people like Richie to be confident in who they are and make friends
even though Ruth doesn’t know exactly what she is yet, she finds her passion for being in the spotlight at the beginning of “Just For Once”, singing about how she now knows she wants to be in the spotlight
lines that talk about her character growing old, talking about how she’s disappointed with where her life is, maybe reflects how she’s feels about growing up herself, being scared of a future where she has to live as someone she isn’t or with someone she doesn’t want to be with
her repetition of “just for once,” in the song reflects many of the thoughts that other trans people have, often imagining ultimatums like “if only I had a button that turned me into a (preferred gender)” or “if I could just wear this outfit just for one event,” or “if I could just be a (preferred gender) for one day”
“just for once I’d feel the spark that I once knew” reflects feelings of many trans people who realized they weren’t cis around high school, where Ruth is, and searched to find that feeling again, but felt trapped by expectations by parents or others
“should I flip the burgers now? should I double check it’s well done on the outside, not within?” her indecisiveness reflects one of her main character traits, that she is riddled with anxiety, a common struggle that trans people experience, her anxiety makes scenarios that even though people are starting to accept her after Max’s death, that she’d still be ridiculed, or that it isn’t right for her to be who she is
her musicality shows her in bursts of confidence, like at the end with her lengthening the last note and letting it trail off, setting it free, only to go completely silent, highlighting the duality of her confidence in her new self, and fear of change (the last note always kills me it makes me tear up everytime)
what makes it even more gut-wrenching is that she isn’t able to feel the freedom of living her dream
the trailing off repetition of “i used to dance” after talking about giving away her tap shoes, representing her surrender to anxiety and fear, giving up on her dreams of being a performer, before being killed by Max
“Life is fine, if only it were mine.”
i’m not saying this is healthy or good, but i do think there’s something comforting to mac about having someone like dennis in his life who “hates him” and still talks to him, lives with him, shares a bed with him, etc. it’s so unlike his parents who mostly just ignore him no matter what he does
i just think it’s so brilliant that the show about emotionally stunted codependent losers is also the longest running live action american sitcom.
i don’t think i’ll ever be able to articulate this fully but. they could have very easily made something short and cynical. something strictly satirical. something like veep, or arrested development, which, don’t get me wrong, are both shows i love, but they are shows where the audience just laughs at the main characters’ misery. and yeah, most of it is that. most of it is traumatized kids who aren’t kids anymore drinking themselves to death in a dive bar. but it’s also mac coming out to his dad after so many years of shame and dennis finally getting something for valentine’s day and dee telling a joke that actually lands and charlie alone in the rain until he isn’t and all of them walking off of that mountain together with their arms wrapped around each other. sometimes it’s that. but you only notice those brief, saccharine moments when you’ve been watching something long enough — living with something long enough — to do so, and suddenly you’re crying on the couch because dennis bought mac a dog even though dennis hates dogs. i would take something breathing, something with empathy over something bitingly satirical and efficient and short any day of the week.
there is probably nothing in that crate outside, but hey, let’s look in it anyway. there’s a stain on this wall and it looks like a miracle.
Storytime!
I'm a day late but happy Black Freiday Starkid!!!
Quadulent thrusters
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds, Mac McDonald/Original Male Character(s) Characters: Mac McDonald, Dennis Reynolds, Original Male Character(s), minor appearances from the rest of the gang Additional Tags: Screenplay/Script Format, Post-Season/Series 16, Tragedy/Comedy, Angst, toxic codependency, Toxic Relationship, Toxic Yaoi, Jealous Dennis Reynolds, Manipulative Dennis Reynolds, Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, thigh rubbing Summary:
Mac gets a new boyfriend. An actual, physical boyfriend, who isn't Dennis this time. Dennis is not thrilled.
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New Macdennis fic, yippee!! It’s a little fan episode afcdibiebe I had a lot of fun with this one <3. I love writing in script format, it almost feels more intuitive than normal prose. I really wanna be a screenwriter someday. But for now, I have to put my talents into making toxic yaoi fanfiction :D.
he/they | 20 | FINAn Ao3 author!! (Noelism)I'm gonna post my insane ramblings and writing updates here agvysbbh,,Currently obsessed with Sunny and Hatchetfield!!
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