Au Where Michael Just Walked Out Of The Distortion Like That One Dude From Mag 100. He’s Shows Up At

The Admiral travels back to s1 with the ability to switch between Giant Cat and normal kitty. He walks to the Institute (he's a very smart cat Jon always said so) and eats Elias three days after Jon's promotion. For some reason this has no consequences for anyone else. Jon finds the cat he and Georgie coparented sitting on his desk covered in blood and immediately washes him off and returns him to Georgie thus reigniting their friendship. Daisy and Basira show up but they never find out who did it. Everything is resolved though Jon never stops wondering if the Admiral killed Gertrude to get him promoted.

😼

@staff our identities aren’t nsfw and we will not stand for them to be treated as such

likes to charge, reblogs to cast

What, the forest-dwelling entities with imperfect human mimicry who insinuate themselves into groups of hikers? Yeah, we had one of those. Clocked it immediately, of course. Honestly it kind of fell in that so-inept-it's-kind-of-charming range. We just played along until it'd had it's fill of marshmallows and shambled back into the treeline. We might have been violating some kind of killjoy wildlife contact best practices but what the hell, can't plan around every little thing. Why, what happened to you guys

i'm a simple soul, i just need to escape society and live amidst the trees engulfed in fog and befriend mysterious creatures out there

BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.

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“Average person gets kidnapped 5 times” factoid actually a statistical error. Kidnappings Jon, who has been kidnapped 10,000 times is an outlier and should not have been counted