Two Lovers Have Reincarnated Throughout History, Destined To Find Each Other And Fall In Love All Over

Don't know when and how it happened but I've slowly come to terms with my adulthood. From a child who didn't want to turn 13 because she was sure that was when adult's problems started to a 19 year old calling herself an ex-child.

I can't relate with most sentiments and call it a journey but there's more to me than there was last year, may be the more isn't admirable even but I'm no longer at odds with the words 'adult'. I accept it, I'm responsible for stuff now, it's on me, most of it is. I won't let that thought weigh me down, it's rather liberating when I think about it. I, not anyone else, get to decide what I can be and when it should happen.

Oh, what wonder, I'm not an empty canvas, neither am I finished. I'm in between an incompleteness and perfection; an incomplete yet perfect being.

I miss running to Tumblr everytime I have a thought, I stopped using my free will properly, it's annoying. This space is mine and mine alone, it's not like I can run out of ink or anything.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

Tumblr is more pictures than words so I'll post my favourite images rn.

I always thought girls acting out, being cold and doing weird things in a relationship was weird. You like this boy, what are you doing? What do you mean you don't pick up until he calls the second time. What do you mean you wait for a minute or two to text back? What's going on? Who wrote these rules? No double texting, no public confessions, just alluding to the fact you are in love and no one needs to know the details.

Sadly, I understand now. Like mad. It's a silent shouting for receiving affection first, you want to be needed the way you need. You want to be liked just as much as you like the other person or even more than you like them. That way you know your affection isn't wasted. Because what is more comforting than knowing that you love and you're loved back in return?

When your love is reciprocated in the actions just as much, when they do call back the second time, double text you, put up with the attitude even you know, is silly, you are comforted. 'I love and I'm loved. All is right with the world.'

I see you, you don't want a love that's complacent, comfortable in a way that is lazy. You want to be pined for in the way you pine, nothing is more human than that.

Emotion permanence.

Oh what a day to be kicked in the face that I suffer from this cos why do I feel unloved if I so much as get no response for a while from my partner. I'm going to be investigating this further, hang out with me till then.

Structuring Your Fight Scene

adapted from <Writer's Craft> by Rayne Hall

Suspense

Show your characters gearing up, readying themselves.

The pace is slow, the suspense is high (use suspense techniques)

Provide information about terrain, numbers, equipment, weapons, weather.

May have dialogue as the opponents taunt each other, hurl accusations, or make one final effort to avoid the slaughter.

Don't start too early - we don't need to see the hero getting out of bed, taking a shower and having tea.

2. Start

Fighters get into fight stance: knees slightly bent, one leg forward, abdominal muscles tensing, body turned diagonally, weapons at the ready.

Each side will usually try to be the first to strike, as this will give them advantage.

The movements in this section need to be specific and technically correct.

3. Action

This section may be quick or prolonged. If prolonged, no blow-by-blow descriptions are needed.

Focus on the overall direction of the fight

Make use of the location to make characters jump, leap, duck, hide, fall, etc.

Mention sounds of weapons

4. Surprise

Something unexpected happens: building catches fire, a downpour, relief force arrives, staircase collapses, bullet smashes into the only lightbulb and everything goes dark, hero losses his weapon, etc.

Add excitement, raise the stakes.

5. Climax

Both sides are tired and wounded

The hero is close to giving up, but is revived with passion

Move to the terrain's most dangerous spot: narrow swining rope-bridge, a roof-edge, sinking ship, etc.

Don't rush the climax! Hold the tension

6. Aftermath

The fight is over: bes buddies lying dead, bandaging, reverberating pain, etc.

Use sense of sight and smell

The hero may experience nausea, shaking, tearfulness or get sexually horny

Fight scene length

Historical/adventure/fantasy: 700-1000w

Romance: 400-700w

Actually really really hate how spiteful my mom is. Towards herself and most especially towards me. I tell her I didn't move in with her just to pay for my own transport to school and pay for my own food too and she starts acting like I smell.

Move away from the same seat as me and wrinkles her nose when I pass. She's acted like this for so long, I hate that I loved her so much I didn't see it for what it is.

Pretending i forgot my tumblr existed lol.

Update: the love I held on to, the one where I'd rather type in an obscure corner of my room than express myself too much to, I let it go. I let it go and I am vindictive enough to hope that it hurts them more than it hurts me.

I'm in a new one that I feel will end badly but at least I think I'd be the least hurt.

I'm trying to restrain myself from complaining about my results here but that's just making this space redundant. This is my diary, no one knows me here. No one ever will.

Here goes:

What. The. Heck? I didn't slave through notes and PDFs and PDFs on end to see my results and be groaning in pain. It's an ugly little feeling when my hardwork doesn't translate to my grades and I hate it here.