I Love You Transwomen. I Love You Transmen. I Love You All Trans People Who May Not Be Either Or. Your

I will never stop saying the furry fandom is intersexist until they remove the slurs for us (herm & futa) from their art sites, and stop stereotyping us and actively spreading the idea ambiguous genitalia = both genitalia.

- A very tired intersex furry

“I don’t get it, do trans men want to be treated like men (read: like cis men) or not? We treat them like men and they complain, but if we treated them like women they would also complain. I don’t get it!”

How’s about not treating different genders of people differently solely because of their gender?

Why do you treat men and women differently?

Is that not the exact cis patriarchy we’re trying to do away with?

polyamory hate is so weird to me, because "having casual sex with multiple people at the same time" is considered like. a sign of being a cool person, until those people are like. fat or have blue hair and pronouns or whatever

 The cycle of “invisible” oppression in the LBGT+ community:

You face sexual abuse, workplace discrimination, medical discrimination, and violence

It never gets reported, or is lumped in with the statistics of a different oppressed group.

Data and “proof” regarding your discrimination is spotty or nonexistent as best, so nobody advocates for you or talks about it in the media

Other LGBT+ people don’t personally hear about it, so they claim it doesn’t exist/they have it worse while dismissing and denying your personal experiences.

The discrimination continues to happen unopposed

This isn’t me arguing that hypervisibility is any better. It goes without saying that the hypervisibility of certain groups (Trans women, gay men, etc) contributes to their oppression, and has made things incredibly dangerous for them right now.

I just want people to acknowledge the dangers of invisibility as well.

Trans men, intersex people, nonbinary people, asexual people… There are so many groups in the LGBT+ community who get left behind and ignored while society tries to eradicate us.

You need to care about people like us, too. Please include other identities in your advocacy. We can't have trans/queer unity until you acknowledge and support ALL of us.

periodic reminder that if you think one type of trans person is "more oppressed" than another type or if you believe that certain categories of trans people shouldn't have terms to describe their own unique types of oppression i do not want you following my blog. please fuck off immediately

"queer people need to get weirder"

but can you handle a nonbinary transmasc/trans man who is femme and passes as his agab, yet DON'T want to be grouped with women and/or femmes, AT ALL???

CAN YOU???

Friendly reminder that you don’t owe anyone here a debate.

Person thinks trans men can’t reclaim “tranny”?

Wow, that’s stupid. Block ‘em.

Some asshole believes that trans men are uniquely misogynistic or privileged or whatever fun discourse buzzword they’re using today?

Their prejudice is not your problem. Block ‘em.

Random blogger says trans men don’t experience (insert common form of transphobia here)?

Don’t try to prove them wrong by sharing details of your trauma. Just block ‘em.

The worst offenders aren’t going to change. They’re not going to listen to you, or engage in a good-faith debate. Speaking from experience, showing them any vulnerability will just result in it being used against you.

It’s sad, but these people are stuck in a discourse tar-pit that makes them see their trans siblings as enemies. They have to pull themselves out; they won’t hear a word you say, not when they’ve already made up their minds about you.

Don’t give them a platform. Don’t waste your time and energy on bad-faith arguments. Spend it with people who don’t make misunderstanding you their favorite hobby.

And remember:

Make sure you've blocked fite-club/rittz. Like half of the inane discourse yapping goes away when you do, it's great.

i'm going to keep banging this drum forever, stop treating groups of marginalised people as "sides" in discourse. stop saying you distrust trans women because of the evil hysterical transradfems. stop saying you distrust non-binary people because of the evil privileged theyfabs. stop saying you distrust trans men because of the evil MRA transandrobros. stop saying you distrust intersex people because of the evil transphobic cis invaders.

stop hearing people complain about bigotry with no comment on who the person perpetuating it was and imagining a marginalised person in your mind. stop justifying bigotry against others because it's against the "side" of discourse that you personally dislike. stop assuming everything a certain marginalised group talks about has to do with whatever petty discourse you're involved in. stop tolerating blatant bigots because you see them as "on your side".

if it's getting to a point where online discourse is so important to you that it influences how you view marginalised people who have done nothing to you, then maybe it's time to log off for a while and start hiking or knitting or something, mostly because it just can't be very good for your health to constantly prime yourself to be anxious or angry around everyone you meet.

Some of the main points I see used against aromantic and asexual people are narratives that go like:

You can't know you're aromantic or asexual if you've never tried dating or having sex. (Translation: you should date someone you aren't attracted to and have sex with someone you aren't attracted to just to be sure you aren't attracted to them).

You can't be asexual or aromantic if you've dated and had sex. (Translation: the actions of dating someone and sleeping with someone can only ever be motivated by attraction, directly opposing what was demanded in the first point.)

If you date or have sex with someone despite not being attracted to them then you are manipulative and deceiving your partner. (Translation: dating/sleeping with someone without attraction as a motivation is inherently Bad and Evil)

And like, I've come across people who believe all three points at once without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Anyways, you don't need to try out all possibilities in order to figure out your orientation. Most people don't go around demanding that straight people sleep with and date the same gender before being allowed to call themselves straight, and yet they'll demand that of aspec people without hesitation. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with trying stuff out. While certain actions can be motivated by attraction, they don't always have to be. People have sex without being attracted to each other all the time, for all sorts of reasons. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, and it doesn't necessarily determine your sexuality either.

And I think the last opinion comes from a) people's tendency to tie attraction to a bunch of other feelings that just sum up to caring about someone, and then translate the absence of attraction into the absence of even liking a person and b) the tendency to see romantic attraction as the highest emotion one can have for someone and seeing any other feelings as inherently lesser, therefore making such a relationship "unbalanced". And with the way most people view aromanticism it's very easy for them to jump to the conclusion that the aro person is obviously being dishonest and just using their allo partner for their own evil little plans. It's all bullshit and I wish people would realize how easily these arguments fall apart when looking at them critically.