the thing that pisses me off the most about this whole "haha trans men in womens bathrooms will make them reconsider" spin going around is that it basically pretends trans men and mascs of color dont exist and arent in very real danger
like, think about for even one second how, historically, white women have weaponized the perception of moc as inherently masculinely savage to get them killed for being threats to fragile helpless white girls
do you think the lady who calls 911 on black men birdwatching in the park is going to see a trans man of color in the womans bathroom and go "gosh! i never thought about it that way. you've really exposed the flaw in my arguement"? no. shes going to call security and that man will be brutalized or killed
(and dont even for a second think that woc will be safe either. i was getting side eyes and pointed questions long before i ever came out because my skin was brown and i had short hair. tmoc and our sisters arent fucking safe and we deserve better than being used as some white posters pithy "gotchya")
I made this blog because I want to stick up for my transmasc friends and allies.
Right now, trans men/transmascs in general are the current "acceptable target " in online lgbt+ spaces. I've seen this happen with aces, bi and pan people, trans women, intersex people... you get the idea. It's the same bullshit every time, and it's getting old.
The solution to discrimination will never be attacking our queer siblings.
I'm not here to debate or give assholes a platform. Zionists, trolls and terfs are getting blocked, y'all ain't welcome.
Group A: argues that transandrophobia is real and should be an acceptable term for people to use when discussing the unique intersection of masculinity and transphobia. This group is mainly comprised of transmascs, who have a right to create and discuss words and theory relating to their own community.
Group B: argues that the term "transandrophobia" is inherently flawed and problematic, and that trans men/mascs do not experience oppression for identifying as men. Crucially, this group is mainly comprised of non-transmascs, and thus should not be considered the authority on transmascs experiences.
Needless to say, I consider myself a supporter of Group A. Transmascs DO in fact face a unique form of discrimination BECAUSE of their masculine identities; I've seen it happen firsthand to my loved ones. Denying this is denying victims the right to speak about their oppression.
If you aren’t transmasc, you do not get to say these experiences are "just misogyny" or "just transphobia." Frankly, I don't think anyone should police the words another person uses to describe their own trauma.
Additionally, I have seen some rampant exorsexism, intersexism, and yes, transandrophobia, in Group B circles. Of course, when you align yourself with one side of a discourse, you will only see the worst in the other. That doesn't change the fact that it’s happening, and I'm going to point it out when I see it.
I am extremely pro-blocking. Block anyone who says cruel shit to you. Block anyone who bothers you. Block me if you think I'm annoying!
Anyone who makes generalizations about ANY community is getting blocked. Trans women do not hate trans men. Trans men do not hate trans women. No single trans identity is uniquely privileged or bigoted. This isn't kindergarten. Cut the boys vs girls bullshit.
I'm not here to argue about the existence of transmisogyny. It is real and rampant in the LGBT+ community, end of story.
Lastly, talk shit out like adults, please. I dislike it when people take screenshots of bad takes so they can complain about others behind their backs. However, I'll make an exception for people who are being uniquely awful.
If someone is "joking" about how much they want to kill transmascs, calling someone slurs, or sending an unconsenting person sexual messages, all bets are off. They are a transphobe and a traitor to the LGBT+ community, regardless of identity.
So please remember:
btw there's so much discourse on my feed rn and I think I need some people to just step off of tumblr and meet people outside their circles. Does wonders for you btw x
My favorite thing is assigning privilege to people who don't have it so that I feel better about my own oppression. yessir nothing better than that
If you want people in the transandrophobia tag to post less about inter community issues, you have two options:
1. Make your own posts about non-community issues
2. Speak up when other queer people: make fun of trans men and trans mascs, deny transandrophobia, say one type of trans person has it worse than all other trans people, erase/leave out/forget trans men and mascs in their activism, deny the lived experiences of trans men and mascs
It stings worse when betrayal comes from someone you thought was an ally, so I’m really not surprised a lot of posts about transandrophobia are talking about inter community issues.
Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.
“I don’t get it, do trans men want to be treated like men (read: like cis men) or not? We treat them like men and they complain, but if we treated them like women they would also complain. I don’t get it!”
How’s about not treating different genders of people differently solely because of their gender?
Why do you treat men and women differently?
Is that not the exact cis patriarchy we’re trying to do away with?
see more on webtoon at Queer Comics
The fearmongering around medical transition for transmascs will never not be upsetting to me.
“you’re gonna look ugly as a man” “but you’re such a pretty girl, don’t change that” Wrong. You will look different after T, but you will look happy. You will probably grow hair and gain weight and look pretty different, and none of that is bad or makes you less desirable. You are going to look like you and that’s all that matters.
“T makes you angry” “you’re gonna be a scary man i won’t feel safe around you” Wrong. Testosterone does not “make” you angry. Messing with your hormones will mess with your emotions for sure, but you will not immediately become some scary predator when you start T. Being a man/masculine does not make you a threat, a predator, or inherently angry. That’s radfem shit.
“bottom growth is gross” “no one will want you with bottom growth” Wrong. Bottom growth is cool and a LOT of guys end up loving theirs a lot more than they thought they would. For a lot of people it is a desirable trait, there are people who find bottom growth hot and attractive. And! If you’re sure you don’t want it there’s things you can do to work around that, just talk to your provider.
“bottom surgery is super painful and not worth it” First off, call it phalloplasty, because that’s what you’re talking about. Second, yes it’s painful, it’s surgery. There are risks to it and complications can happen, but that’s true of any surgery. Phallo might not be for you, but it is life saving care for other folks. It is beautiful and should be talked about as life saving care and not as some afterthought thing that no one actually does.
Being transmasculine is a beautiful thing. Transitioning medically is not something every trans person wants, but if you notice yourself holding back for the reasons i’ve listed above (or similar) maybe reconsider.
Misogyny.
I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.
Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.
It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.
We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.
The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.
Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.
If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.
You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.
Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!
Nix, They/Them, Queer, 20s Sporadically active.Do not gender me.
368 posts