‼️‼️‼️ STOP IGNORING AND EXCLUDING TRANS MEN‼️‼️‼️

PLEASE stop platforming assholes!

And yes, this includes screenshots with the name cropped out!

I'm not trying to call anyone out here, or vague about fellow transmasc-friendly posters, but I really do think this is a huge problem in tumblr discourse in general.

I know, there are people being awful to trans men on tumblr, and transandrophobia is a huge fucking problem on this site. I can think of a handful of blogs who are the worst offenders- I'm sure anyone who's been on here longer than a week knows their names.

But they feed off of this attention! When you reblog their posts to argue with them, or screenshot their takes, you're just spreading their influence around. They're not going to change, they're not going to stop being cruel or transphobic, and arguing with them will only make you feel worse and give them more ammo to use against you.

Not to mention, if somebody has these blogs blocked, and you post untagged screenshots of their shit, you're making people see them whether they like it or not! Somebody who blocked a bigot so they didn't have to deal with their rancid-ass takes shouldn't have to see them screenshotted on 12 different trans-friendly blogs.

Focus more on uplifting the voices of trans men and transmascs than engaging with bullies!

This person, who made the "transfem cultural appropriation" list, is the one who said it

Also, as an agender person, I would politely request that people not claim it as something specific to trans men, either. Dysphoria hoodies can be used by any trans person who needs one.

Wait are these assholes trying to claim the concept of a dysphoria hoodie was stolen from trans women

Dysphoria Hoodies??? Really? As we know, the concept of wearing a Baggy Article of Clothing to deal with your dysphoria was nonexistent until the first ever trans woman discovered the magic of the hoodie.

Really???

I was wearing those before I knew what being trans was! Shockingly, if you're dysphoric about a part of your body, your first instinct may be to cover it up with easily available gender-neutral clothing... such as, I don't know, a hoodie? But no, those mean transmascs and nonbinaries stole it from women, who would have guessed :(

Guess we gotta add it to the list, along with "cat ear headphones" and "eggs" and "liking anime."

the statements "clothes don't have gender" and "clothes can and do invoke gender dysphoria and euphoria for many people" can and should coexist.

Some of the main points I see used against aromantic and asexual people are narratives that go like:

You can't know you're aromantic or asexual if you've never tried dating or having sex. (Translation: you should date someone you aren't attracted to and have sex with someone you aren't attracted to just to be sure you aren't attracted to them).

You can't be asexual or aromantic if you've dated and had sex. (Translation: the actions of dating someone and sleeping with someone can only ever be motivated by attraction, directly opposing what was demanded in the first point.)

If you date or have sex with someone despite not being attracted to them then you are manipulative and deceiving your partner. (Translation: dating/sleeping with someone without attraction as a motivation is inherently Bad and Evil)

And like, I've come across people who believe all three points at once without seeing the hypocrisy of it all.

Anyways, you don't need to try out all possibilities in order to figure out your orientation. Most people don't go around demanding that straight people sleep with and date the same gender before being allowed to call themselves straight, and yet they'll demand that of aspec people without hesitation. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with trying stuff out. While certain actions can be motivated by attraction, they don't always have to be. People have sex without being attracted to each other all the time, for all sorts of reasons. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, and it doesn't necessarily determine your sexuality either.

And I think the last opinion comes from a) people's tendency to tie attraction to a bunch of other feelings that just sum up to caring about someone, and then translate the absence of attraction into the absence of even liking a person and b) the tendency to see romantic attraction as the highest emotion one can have for someone and seeing any other feelings as inherently lesser, therefore making such a relationship "unbalanced". And with the way most people view aromanticism it's very easy for them to jump to the conclusion that the aro person is obviously being dishonest and just using their allo partner for their own evil little plans. It's all bullshit and I wish people would realize how easily these arguments fall apart when looking at them critically.

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

They say we can't reclaim "tranny" as if they haven't called our voices "tranny voice" for years, as if they haven't called us "tranny dykes" forever, as if cis people actually care who they hit with that word. I have been called "tranny," I have been called it in multiple languages, in many ways, people in my high school used it to attack me like any other trans person, queer people did. People used it to mock, to hurt, aggrivate, to try to bond.

But they push us out of feminist spaces because suddenly we don't understand anymore, they push us out of sapphic spaces because they deem our bodies gross, our self-expression wrong, and now they push us out of trans spaces because we don't suffer enough. I wonder how much more pain I am supposed to shoulder before it will be enough for it to be deemed worth talking about, for it to be deemed worth discussing, reclaiming.

Because we have the bi experience, the ace, and inter experience: every side turns us away. We're too queer and too damaged, and then we're not queer enough, haven't suffered enough.

All this when you won't even let us talk about our pain in our own voices. How will you ever know it if you never listen; if you make us afraid to talk?

If you actually take the threat of forced detransition seriously, then you should recognize "Conservative transphobes don't want to kill transmascs, they just want to detransition them" for the callous and out-of-touch statement that it is.

"Ugh, you're actually lucky they don't want to kill you, they just want to permanently cut you off from gender-affirming care, rape you, trap you in marriage and pregnancy, and force you to live the rest of your life as their property."

Wow, I feel so blessed.

the problem with being an intersex nonbinary person is that you have experienced both uniquely transmasc and transfem things, but because you are neither you can join neither conversation without being told “you’re afab you can’t have experienced this!” or “you’ve not medically transitioned so this can’t happen to you!”

intersex trans people exist. intersex nonbinary people exist. regardless of what our “agab” is, or whether we’ve taken hormones or not, we have experiences that need to be included in your conversations. by gatekeeping these conversations you’re leaving vital voices out of the narrative.

you have to transition. even if youre in your 40s 50s 60s. its your duty to make this world a better place