Life Works For Me In Unexpected Ways!

Pretty things to do

A list that’ll will make you feel and be prettier on the inside and out!

Double cleansing every night

Always having minty sweet fresh breath!

exfoliating 3 times a week

wearing body glitter everyday

speak softly, not cursing, & incorporating “pretty” words to your vocab!

drink lots of water out of a cute and decorated reusable bottle!

moisturize with body oil and body butter everyday!

deep conditioner in hair every wash day!!

sit up and walk straight! posture is everything

wearing pink, regular french, or pink french rip nails and match your toe color!

wear pretty jewelry everyday! earrings, crystal bracelets, necklaces!

always do your hair

keep your lips soft and moisturized!

carry extra lip gloss, hand lotions, and perfumes with you!

meditate

journal (with scented glitter pens!)

be gentle and kind to everyone! never let people take you out of your character!

(this list was inspired by jujucrossing on tiktok!)

To lovely humans who were excluded from invitations, left behind when they tied their shoes, forced to walk in the grass when the sidewalk was full, spoken over when you tried to contribute, whispered about or laughed at, given side-eye when you tried to fit in…. you are so worthy of love.

“You are eternal, you are infinite, you are spirit, you are body, you are mind, you are heart, you are soul, you are an idea, you are an expression, you are a thought, you are a dream of the infinite creation, but that is reality and all reality is couched within your dream. You contain it all; you are the whole expression in your own individualized way.”

— Bashar

Why laziness doesn't exist

There is probably not a person in the world who hasn't been told at least once, "You're just lazy". We hear about laziness from childhood - from parents, grandparents, and teachers ("A capable girl, but lazy. You should try harder!"). Later we ourselves begin to use this phrase and call ourselves, our partners and children lazy. But is it really that simple with this idea? Dahl's Dictionary tells us that laziness is "a reluctance to work, an aversion to work, to doing, to occupation; a tendency to idleness. Interestingly, laziness is seen here in two senses at once: as a deed or temporary condition when a person does not want to work, or as a permanent character trait - if a person is inclined to do nothing. 

However, psychology treats laziness very differently: it believes that it is neither a feeling nor a quality of character, but a social construct. There are basic emotions - fear, sadness, anger, and joy - that are common to all higher mammals, and we feel them in approximately the same way. But there is no such feeling as laziness - there is a feeling of fatigue or a state of apathy, there is aggression, which can be expressed in the unwillingness to do something (the same "aversion to work"). The character trait "lazy" does not exist either - we use it to describe people who do not want to do something that we think they should. Even if we're talking about ourselves. 

Where does laziness come from? 

Usually laziness is first told to us by parents or teachers. A child may learn that they are "lazy" in different situations: for example, when they are not energetic enough in the opinion of the elders - that is, apathetic and lethargic. A healthy child should really be active, so lethargy is really a cause for concern. But in this case, it is better to consult a doctor or a psychologist, and not to label it. The second and, probably, most frequent variant is when a child is not interested in what his parents consider useful and necessary: "You are lazy to clean the room", "You are lazy to do homework", "You are lazy to visit grandparents. There can be a hundred different reasons for not wanting to do something, but since parents are considered the unquestionable authority, and our culture still does not talk to the child about his desires and feelings, any disobedience is usually blamed on either bad behavior (when the child actively rebels) or laziness (which is considered a passive rebellion). Growing up, we get used to this concept and begin to describe ourselves and other people through it.

Unfortunately, the idea of "laziness" prevents us from understanding our own feelings, motivations, and even our physical condition: sudden apathy, which we habitually dubbed laziness, when examined by a doctor can turn out to be the onset of bronchitis, a low hemoglobin level, or pregnancy. The notion of laziness can cause us to start pushing ourselves. Compare: the phrase "I'm resisting it" prompts further reflection, prompts us to figure out what's going on - what am I resisting, what's the reason? What is it that I don't like or don't like about it? And the words "I am lazy" imply a moralizing view. Laziness here is a "vice" that must be eradicated. "Laziness" is a convenient label for a whole bunch of tangled feelings, uncomfortable and unpleasant relationships, conflicts that keep us from being active 

Psychologists or coaches are often approached with something like this request: "How do I start my tenth project when the previous nine have worn me out to the point of exhaustion?", "I sleep four hours, work twelve hours without days off, and there's no way I can start learning French. I'm lazy, aren't I?" Of course, laziness has nothing to do with it. No amount of self-motivation techniques will help a man who is weary. His problem is rather that he cannot stop thinking of himself as an omnipotent cyborg and recognize himself as a living person with a need for rest, doing nothing, and having fun. Usually in such cases one has to turn to childhood and family attitudes. It is not uncommon there to find ideas that vacations are "shameful," that they have to be "earned" or have good reasons for them (three years without a vacation, a serious illness). Or the attitude that only those who do good are loved. A great deal of usefulness. The person who wants to be loved and accepted begins to work himself to the bone, destroying himself and the close relationship - there is simply no resource left for them. When he feels that the relationship is collapsing, feels unwanted, he tries to work even harder against all odds. Mom and Dad demonstrated that they love hardworking people like that - then, this must be true for other people as well! 

What is laziness hiding?

Very often "laziness" is a convenient label for a whole tangle of confusing feelings, uncomfortable and unpleasant relationships, and conflicts that prevent us from being active. For example, you are "lazy" to get a second higher education or to improve your skills. It's scary to think about: maybe you are "lazy" because you don't want to do something that seems pointless to you? For example, if you did not set the goal yourself - just someone important to you suggested to you that a second higher education is necessary.

If you don't have any energy to go to the courses or to sit at the desk after your main job and you are desperately truant, it's time to ask yourself the question: what was the purpose of all this? If you dream of a career change, maybe just applying for an internship would be enough? Or even just send a resume for a position at a slightly lower salary, writing in all the experience of working in similar occupations. You'd be surprised how much shorter the path to your goal is if you figure out what you really want.

Or maybe the initial goal was to please mom and dad? Then it is worth looking for a less energy-consuming way - and even work with a psychologist on where the demonstration of love and gratitude to parents ends and begins to live other people's life scenarios.

You should be careful if laziness covers you every time when you undertake a task (a meeting, a project, a trip) connected with a certain person or group of people. For example, at work, you put off tasks from a certain client to the last minute, although you always carry out the rest on time - you just can not bring yourself to start. Or you are lazy before a trip to some friends or relatives, although in other cases you endure a much longer trip. It even happens that over and over again you don't want to open a book or watch a movie recommended by someone.

In this case, it is worth remembering what has been happening in your relationship lately. Usually there are good reasons: laziness turns out to be a way to passively resist aggression, violation of boundaries, humiliation, violation of agreements. Indeed, it is "lazy" to meet with a friend who canceled two previous meetings when you were already on your way. And you don't want to do a project for a client, from whom you then have to demand a fee for months. "Too lazy" to go to relatives who criticize your lifestyle, who are rude, who violate boundaries. And you don't even want to read a book from a person who treats you badly - and it's not that you supposedly don't seek knowledge, but that difficult feelings about the person are transferred to reading, watching a movie, or traveling.

"You're just being lazy!"

The phrase "you're just lazy" is also an excellent means of manipulation. Essentially, the person is telling you, "I want you to do this. If you don't do it, I'll think you're bad, and I'll try to instill that same thought in you." The appropriate thing to talk about here is not the qualities of your character, but the activity that you are supposedly lazy to do.

Talking about an employee being lazy at work can be a "good" way to brush off all the uncomfortable issues, from salary delays to imbalances of power and responsibility. In this way, the employer may be trying to move the conversation away from the business relationship into categories of evaluation and morality, and that's wrong. You may be "lazy" to take on other people's responsibilities and overwork without extra pay. Or you are "too lazy" to do a project yourself that requires more formal authority and promotion. And here it's very helpful to call things by their proper names: "I'm sorry, I don't think it's acceptable to require me to stay until 9 p.m. on a Friday night without overtime pay," "In order to take on this project, I must have the authority to sign documents and your power of attorney."

When your partner says you are "just too lazy" to mop the floors and make dinner after a full day of work, instead of accusations and excuses, it's more appropriate to talk about how to share household chores. If you are "too lazy" to visit my mother at the cottage hundreds of miles from the city, it is worth thinking about what was going on in your relationship or if you are not tired. In any case, it is useful to think not about laziness, but about whether a working person is physically able to drive six hours through traffic on Saturday to the cottage to return home the same way on Sunday night to Monday, and how necessary it is to express love for parents in this form (this is a big question).

One of the most difficult issues is when there is conflict behind laziness. The worst is when what you do conflicts with your values - to exaggerate, it's very hard to be vegan and work at a meatpacking plant, or to advocate for body positivity and promote beauty pageants. In this case, laziness is literally salvation. It is a healthy resistance to what one considers immoral, harmful, or dishonest. And activities that go against your life principles are best changed as soon as possible because they are destructive.

The idea of laziness is like a trash can, where all kinds of unwanted and uncomfortable feelings are thrown out instead of being dealt with. So if you are suddenly overwhelmed by laziness and guilt about it, it's time to rummage in that garbage can, pull out your accumulated feelings and emotions, and examine them carefully.

written by psychologist Yana Shagova, published in Wonderzine, translated from russian using DeepL

"The (physical) mind is not designed to know how something is going to happen.

It is only designed to know and to experience what is happening in the present."

how i manifest when i feel anxious •°. *࿐

i decide i have what i want…

when i feel anxiety -> i let it pass while knowing its only a human reaction

◦ since i am beyond just a human (i am limitless imagination/self), i know any anxiety is below me and it has nothing to do with my limitless self. i have exactly what i decided i have, regardless of any anxiety.

know anxiety usually comes from a fear of failure

◦ so, i cannot limit myself based on what i see or what i negatively assume my future will look like bc i am always beyond the 3d, no matter what feelings/anxiety my human self experiences.

◦ i become indifferent/i dont care about what i see or what i assume i will see because i know everything comes together in the 3d once i change self/know its done. fact: everything always comes together and works out in the end. being indifferent to the 3d = being indifferent to emotions, anxiety and everything that doesnt serve you.

dont fight it, dont avoid it, tackle it head on

◦ acknowledge you are experiencing anxiety bc you are. yes it can feel like shit but it doesnt have to affect who you are being (whatever version of self you are embodying). again, i can choose to be indifferent to this anxiety. you dont have to be scared of the anxiety. it is a natural human response. cry if you need to, let it all out. dont try to suppress it bc that will only come to bite you back in the ass, believe me.

◦ take care of your mental health in whatever ways necessary. when i used to experience anxiety, i used to take walks in the park, clear my head, meditate, express myself and my emotions through art and journaling, etc. remember nothing you do (or feel) in the 3d has to affect who you are being/your state.

"how can i still have anxiety yet still be a desired version of me?"

anxiety has no affect on anything unless you allow it to change your identity. you are the one with power, the anxiety is only an experience, similar to breathing in oxygen and using our sense of touch; its all neutral. when you start surrendering to the anxiety, you are creating and accepting negative stories that you create based on the feeling of anxiety. allowing that anxious feeling to change your state/identity is surrendering to something you view as more "powerful" than you. stop transforming that anxiety into a state that you embody based on the false, negative stories u imagine.

remember a 3d experience or anxious feelings doesnt have to influence who you are being. an example: a model who knows (fulfilled) that she is graceful and beautiful can have anxiety about doing her catwalk. the anxiety is normal, she can experience the symptoms of anxiety (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking) but her core identity/state is still a graceful model. the anxiety is only a temporary feeling. usually when we experience these feelings, they occupy all of our attention in that moment which is why it seems so scary but in reality, its not that big a deal. know that anxiety is just a feeling. you are safe. you can still experience shitty feelings while knowing you are a bad bitch!

you dont always identify with everything you experience. for example, a lot of people experience good things and still identify as people who are unworthy of good things. so its really up to you to choose what to identify with.

i know my only job is knowing its done

◦ if i just decided its done, as the operant power, as i say goes, therefore its done. so my job is done. anxiety is part of the 3d, not my limitless self, imagination. so i can be indifferent and experience it without identifying with it, the same way people manifest what they desire while experiencing their shitty circumstances daily (because they do not identify with those shitty experiences).

◦ ive heard/experienced situations were we know its done yet we cried and felt like shit, and what we wanted still manifested into the 3d. bc anxiety is only a feeling. do not allow your feelings to take hold of your state, but if it does, its never the end of the world... just get back in the state. 3d shit/anxiety doesnt have to intervene with who you are being/what you identify with.

kisses, jani ☆

"Thank you," he said. For what did not matter; smile, say the right kind of words in the right kind of way, and always, always radiate confidence like a supernova.

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

This is your daily reminder to not get caught up in the sunk cost fallacy.

What is the sunk cost fallacy?

It is continuing a behavior because of previously invested resources (time, money, energy, effort).

If something is not working out for you anymore, stop doing it. Find something else to do. Don’t worry about how many year you’ve done it or how much money you’ve put into it. It doesn’t work anymore. It doesn’t make you happy.

You deserve better.

Everything you can think of is present now. You cannot conceive of something that is not already worked out in detail; but it is a shadow if you do not dwell in it.

—Neville Goddard

ALL THAT YOU BEHOLD

neville goddard lecture - 04/19/1969

[…] "All that you behold, though it appears without it is within, of which this world of mortality is but a shadow." If you will but enter a state in your imagination, and assume its truth, the outer world will respond to your assumption, for it is your shadow, forever bearing witness to your inner imaginal activity.

[…] If the world responds to your imaginal activity, is the world not David doing your will? If the Lord claimed that David always does his will, and you, by a simple imaginal act, command the outer world to respond - are you not the Lord? […] Test yourself, and you will discover that your imaginal act was the cause of the response of the world relative to you. […] You will see eternity, which God buried in your mind; and you will be enhanced by reason of the experience of creating these bodies for the stage, entering them, and playing their various parts.

[…] Every conceivable part is now a reality in you, but you need not activate it. You can, however, enter a state and by the simple act of assumption, activate that state, and not one power in the world can stop its response. If it takes a dozen or thousands of men and women to respond to your assumption, they will, for humanity is David - a man after your heart who will do all your will. Everyone necessary to fulfill your assumption must and will come to bear witness to that which you are entertaining, internally. […] When you imagine a state, God has imagined it; and just as a sound brings a response, your world will respond by playing the part it must play to bring about fulfillment. All you are required to do is remain faithful to the state you entered.

(this one is a very important part in my opinion)

[…] We are forever giving advice, when scripture has nothing to say about advice - be it good or bad. Scripture only tells us to go and tell them the good news that you are immortal, as they are. That you created the world and simply extracted yourself from it, just as they can. Don't give them any advice as to what they should or should not do. If your son wants to grow a beard, let him. If he doesn't want to grow up, don't try to give him all of your "good" advice; simply leave him alone, and in your own wonderful way imagine you are free of that state, for the world belongs to you and it is always expressing your inner thoughts. See a situation as something on the outside, and you become entangled in its shadows - for everyone who responds to your imaginal act is a shadow. How can a shadow be causative in your world? The moment you give another the power of causation, you have transferred to him the power that rightfully belongs to you. Others are only shadows, bearing witness to the activities taking place in you. The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing within yourself. If you know this, you are set free and a series of events will unfold within you to reveal the story of salvation.

[…] If someone wants a thousand or a hundred thousand acres, let him have them. If you would like to live in a lovely apartment, claim you do. You may think you can't afford the one you want, but that thought is an imaginal act. I would suggest, instead of thinking you can't afford it, to simply sleep in that apartment tonight mentally, accepting the fact that you have all the funds necessary to pay for it. Persist and the world will respond. You will get the money needed to live there. The world does not cause, it only responds to your imaginal acts, for only God acts and God is in you as your own wonderful human imagination. Now, before you judge it, try it. If you do, you cannot fail, and when you prove imagination in the testing, share the good news with your brothers. Tell everyone you meet how the world works. You do not have to have a proper educational or social background to apply this principle; and you cannot fail, for an assumption, though false, if persisted in will harden into fact. When you know what you want, assume you have it. Believe your assumption is true. Look at your world mentally and see your fulfilled desire. Do this and you are calling forth a response to your thoughts, and in the not distant future you will find yourself physically occupying the state imagined. Now, after you realize your desire, don't go back to sleep and hold on to this dream that is now solidly real, while trying to project a desire through secular means. […]